Read this giant blog post earnestly:I have been trapped for a few years now in a state of non-action. Wasting away my free time essentially doing nothing, or extremely low effort bottom of the barrel, mind-melting dopamine farmingI simply do not feel a desire to do anything, the things I know that I enjoy are includedI know that I enjoy them, but the thought of actually having to do them is extremely repugnant - therefore I never act - and because I do not do these things, eventually they leave my consciousnessI am mainly talking about my hobbies here, not my career, health, etc those are fine. But, even if they are based on consumption, not creation, in nature, even something like reading a book or watching a show I simply don't do. It isn't even on my mind to do it, only the fact that I didn't do it is.I've tried forming habits, tried quotas, timeframes to do specific tasks, etc but nothing sticksI act entirely on impulse, living a life with zero structure, making life feel unmemorable, fast paced, and honestly confusing. No memories of what I did, no anticipation of what comes next, only the constant fuzz of the current moment It feels like I am only alive just to put money in a 401k each week.I know life is a binary system. You either do something or you don't, get over your problems or you don't, yes - dont say it - I know I am the only one with agency here - but it just feels like my brain does not fucking function properly, my conscience is simply wrongTLDR:How the fuck do I start enjoying things again, WANTING to do them, and form accountability to ensure that I do them, consistentlyFor now, I spend MONTHS doing nothing, with only 2 week bursts of activity I cherish and enjoy, then back to being a zombie
I should also addThere are times when I do do thingsTimes when I can focus, don't get distracted, and feel proactiveI enjoy these timesI do not instantly view having to do effort as something that I should turn away fromThis is all I need I want to harvest this, then form goals, and do themBut all I do is feel the desire for inactionIdk, I blame doomscrolling and will stay off twitter
Keep in mind that once I actually do things I can focus and enjoy the sensation of doing work (job) or hobbiesIt’s just that it’s very easy to feel not like doing themMaybe this issue is entirely due to doomscrolling or some shit shifting my brain’s perspective idkAnd I gotta worry less about habits and more about bad habits
>>34959174Do you have any actual goals? i.e start a business, learn to do something, Go to X places?The first thing is you have to check your environment. Do things distract you? then change thing your environment as best as you can. Do you watch TV too much? Unplug it so that it's extra effort to plug it back in. Game too much? Uninstall all your games so you have to re-download them. If your phone is too much then switch to a dumb phone and lock up your other phone.Put decision making with real effort between you and the thing that makes you do things. Once you do that you'll be bored so find something "productive" to do as your filler. Photography with a cheap point and click or maybe vibe code an organization dashboard. Have an instrument? Commit to fucking around with it. will power is a muscle and if you're not use to having will power then everything will drain you fast. If that is the case then learn pomodoro. Buy a cheap pomodoro timer of amazon (20$ maybe?) Set yourself to do work for 30 minutes on 30 minutes off (most do 10-15 minutes off). Eventually you'll be able to increase that time to 45 minutes on and then maybe an hour but always allow yourself breaks and give youself a maximum amount of working time.Kanban works for me in terms of organization but there are many systems for different people. Pomodoro helps you not exhaust your willpower. Good luck!
>>34960787Thanks for the adviceAnd yeah as simple as it may seem my main goal is just my hobbies, I’m currently learning Japanese, wanna get back into gaming and just read / watch anime moreIt’s all consuming / downtime stuff, with some skills / studying involved with the Japanese at least, but it’s better than nothingI’ll look into organization and dashboards cause that sounds interestingI’m wondering if I should schedule exactly when to do things and for how long or if I should just try and get X amount of Y done per dayIt seems hard to do without being stifled so I dunno….and the things I turn to, doomscrolling or jerking off, are legitimately so easy to just do within 5 seconds of distraction
>>34959174What do you spend your free time with? How does a usual day look for you? What about the usual day off?
>>34961391Thinking about the fact I should do something but unsure what, just constant feeling of not doing “something”DoomscrollingSometimes light gaming but even then with YouTube or some shit in the background for maximum overexposure
>>34961443Yeah that's relatable. One thing you can do is no youtube. Music is fine but try to limit it. Look at it as something to stimulate your creativity, what can you do without the background noise?So No. 1 challenge is gonna be try to occupy yourself in every situation without the copes to numb you
>>34961660YouTube twitter masturbation It’s thoseIf I at least start a fresh YouTube account or make one in Japanese I could consider it “studying”(The new algorithm would probably be so bad it would deter me from using it)It essentially is like this Doing something fun and fulfilling: 5/10 energy needed 10/10 enjoymentDoing dumb bullshit: 0/10 energy needed 4/10 enjoyment And guess what my mind chooses
>>34961735I know which one it chooses. I struggle with the same thing word for word bar for bar. But that's the solution man take that painful unstimulatedness and try to channel it. Don't even expect yourself to never do it again. But you can go for not doing it first thing in the morning. Just spamming an hour away from your phone when you can will have crazy benefits
In general, it is probably healthier and easy to focus on what not to do rather than have to do a complete 180 and focus on what I should doright?
>>34960787>Vibe code an organization dashboardTf would that even be like I’m interested but what does this mean
You became addicted to instant gratification.Why do anything at all with your life when you can just press F5 on the chan, watch some porn or play a game and get instant "reward"?This is the root of the issue.
>>34962809So…detox?
>>34959174I've had similar problems on and off. Logically, I know I should be meditating, reading good books (non-fiction), go to the gym. The gym is the easiest by far, tho.But it was always hit or miss, sometimes periods of high activity (and by that I mean 30 minutes of reading and 20-30 minutes of meditation + gym a day, rest is fucking around).The periods with the highest activity have one thing in common: Me striving towards a goal. Something I work towards, that makes me feel or believe if I do these things, it will help me achieve that goal.It may sound retarded, but that goal is titties. I love titties so much, I fantasize about them randomly durin the day. I dream of them. So much so, I see and remember the bouncing titties more than the face of the woman. I watch pictures of them. Most of my naughty stuff is titties. I include them in my affirmations. I include them in my daily gratitude routine pre-meditation. That is probably also the thing that I artificially blow up: I gaslight myself into liking them (or SOMETHING for that matter) so much, that my brain is now convinced it must do everything it can to help me achieve that.The last 10 years correlate with me being able to pursue that goal or not. Pre corona, I was able to go out and pursue just that. I meditated twice a day, regularly did sports, read up to 1 hour each day, summarized online trainings to learn more and be more interesting. Then corona hit, and I had a huge long period of just getting fat and apathetic.The last 2 years, I realized I can pursue titties in a normal capacity again. I started losing weight, meditating again, reading again. Coincidence? Or is the prospect of pursuing a greater goal, that is always in the back of your mind, of your consciousness, one of the most, if not THE most, effective stimulat one can have?tl:dr; you need a goal that makes you absolutely fucking obssesed. Gaslight yourself into having a goal if you must (affirmations, visualization, etc.)
>>34962371vibe coding is programming while not thinking much and relying heavily on AI toolsamongst professionals it's a pejorativealso, relationship status?
>>34963585Sorry I know what vibe coding is I meant I can’t really picture what an organization dashboard would even be lolAlthough I have had an idea of wishing I could have a sort of neutral place in my web browser to default to so I don’t surf amongst random tabs as often And I don’t have nor want a gf why do u ask
>>34963601>And I don’t have nor want a gf why do u askcoz I see many of the same symptoms in myselfI also have many hobbies that I wish I actually didin my case I'm pretty sure it's because I wish I was in a relationship, so every other activity, however pleasant, feels like a distractionso I can't invest myself into anything
I guess what I really need is some sort of plan or guidelines or explicit instructionsIt feels dumb cause i know it’s as simple as doing X instead of Y but I just cannot figure out how to
Im going to try going back to the only thing that’s ever worked for me, but never stuckBanning Twitter and YouTubeFirst thing I do at my PC when I get home is review vocab then watch animeRest of my free time do whateverIncrease vocab by 10 words per day, from any sourceI’ll just try to form this one habit and see what happens but I dunnoIt’s either this or try to schedule my day idk if I back end my goal like Do X by Y time or just schedule a routine like Do X at Y time until Z is done then do Q task next Or be completely free form but try some pomodoro shit No idea how to actually plan things and make them seem fun and not just forced and annoying
>>34959174It's about social motivation. No one can do anything on their own. You keep trying to do it on your own and just "will" through it. Doesn't work that way. Find a buddy to do whatever you need to do. Etc.
>>34964545this seems absolutely false or else everything people ever do would rely on someone else
starting to blame everything on excessive, spontaneously, not even horny just doing it, masturbation
>>34964545This isn't necessarily true but it is a cheat code if you're not asocial. It's amazing how much easier some things are with even just one other person with you.
To the anon that suggested vibe coding an organization dashboard, thank youI am now attempting to make it so that something like this replaces my New Tab screen on my browser to help add some friction to endless surfing, scrolling, etc (ignore le nostalgia windows xp look, WIP)
>>34959174Please just kill yourself or if you're American commit mass murder first. Life is the most awful state of affairs there is please help to end it.
>>34966115Shut up idiot
Running into some issues hereI don’t know the proper way to try and do thingsAssuming I don’t act on bad habits and have more free time and focusShould I just do the same things at the same time everyday or try to just get X amount of something done each dayFeels hard to say
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I think a lot of us channers that get stuck here have this same issue of motivation, commitment to a plan & goal, not seeing the point in effectively changing your whole being for what we feel should be a 'for granted' circumstances. I clearly haven't implemented it myself since I'm still here, but I'm pretty damn close. For various reasons we end up addicted to activities that numb us, since they used to be novel and bring joy and exitement and something social too, but it's all a façade as we've come to realize.I think you just have to accept a few things:1) how limited your time is on Earth and how much time you've already wasted (2 hours a day every day is doing that activity for a whole month day and night out of the year)2) depending on how long you've been here you've learned everything there really is that can be taught to you here3) the reason you can't will yourself to do something is because algorithims are DESIGNED to always be more alluring than your bare necessities, so if your nature/nurture leads you to rot while others seem to balance having a phone/social media just fine, don't waste your whole life capitulating to the in group; how often do you actually need to google something crucial, especially when not home?Then switch to a dumbphone, uninstall your games, smash your tv, then sit and be bored until your brain says "fuck this" and gets up and tries to do something with its time.This can be hard because you're basically admitting that you've built up an excessive amount of effort and identity around being complacent, so your brain is gonna freak out to try and stop you from doing this because it senses big nervous system changes are coming. Just gotta not give in to the anxiety.
>>34970385Yeah I understand the importance of being boredI dunno I guess it can really only start with a social media detoxAnd hopefully then I’ll actually feel like doing somethingI basically have the issue where I don’t feel like doing the things I desire doing and I constantly do things that I don’t desire to do impulsively
All is vain
>>34970517Don’t be like that
>>34970494Yeah and I'm telling you that you're being manipulated by big tech into behaving like that, and that there is no amount of bargaining and comprimise that's gonna work for us. I've been trying for a decade.
>>34970562Just don’t use things with an infinite scroll algorithm?
what does one do when everything seems boring, tiring, annoying, or angering and putting in effort or focus is repulsivebasically digging myself into a deeper and deeper hole of permanent nothingnessive wasted months of real time i bet just doing nothing
