>18yo, M, lives completely alone (no friends + familly)I got into drugs when I was 12 and stopped at 13.5. I took MDMA, acid, and I smoked weed every day.I was diagnosed with schizoid PD, but I’ve made some observations that seem somewhat unrelated:- I read the unabomber’s manifesto when I was 14, and I planned to bomb my school with a friend.- I feel very detached from my parents. Of course, I do feel some kind of empathy for them, but it’s almost as if they decided never to talk to me again, I don’t think I would be particularly bothered by it.- I hate “normies.” I know this sounds really cringe, but it’s just how I feel about it. I feel little to no empathy for people who follow social norms and stick to mainstream interests. I just see them as bots, and I don’t even bother interacting with them.- On the other hand, I have mixed feelings about animals. I hate seeing animals get hurt by humans, but at the same time, I used to hit my dogs when they barked too much.- Lastly, I tend to take reckless risks without considering the consequences. I used to go urban exploring a lot, and when I did, it was as if fear didn’t exist. I ran from the police several times and got myself into some pretty bad situations.My parents were always kind to me and I had a pretty chill childhood expect for when I was 12Why am I like this ?
I'm no psychiatrist but your observations seem really related to shizoid pdwhat is it you're really searching for? I suppose you already know nobody here can tell you why you're like this, and probably you will never know
>>34966911Thanks for your feedback. I looked on Wikipedia, but it seems that there’s no correlation between schizoid PD and detachment from parents, or my hatred towards regular people.
>>34966920would you hate yourself if you turned out to be a regular person? cause that's something I could relate to.
>>34966995Depends on what you consider regular but yea definitely
Are you spiritual? Find something to believe in
>>34967077Are you talking about theology only, or spiritual beliefs other than religion? Rn I’m an atheist because I think that being a theist makes you a slave to your religion’s values and rules.
>>34967116Ok. But the bible proves god is real.
>>34967116Spiritual beliefs other than religion. You must have faith that these tried and true beliefs and values lead to happiness. Otherwise you’re just gonna take the easy way every time and fry your brain with hyper-stimulating drugs and distractions.
Just examine global inferences about causal eventsA plane passed by. What did it do having with planes? It made a noise. Is my relationship with planes differentThere is a global problem effecting your school. Not a joke u have to become super villain tier when u have no friends. Most likely too intelligent if u have bird friends. Try stalking a womanDrug use incurs damage which can regenerate. If you ingest heavy metals you can restructure axioms to have a super computer in your head. Thats what i did and it interfaces with smart phones. Try turning it off for physical old knowledge by examining bugs and leaves.The world controls your parents its hell out there for them. They keep you under lock to make you better. Dont worry kid
>>34967122How ? I’m genuinely curious but on the other hand, I don’t have the willpower to read the whole bible
>>34967133How do I increase it?
>>34967134The thing with the bible is, it was written by god. If god didn't exist, who could've written the bible? Only god.
>>34967136Your fingers are guide codes to coding with people. Define reality as you wish but there is one true physical plane defined by touch. Genuinely if i haul cool leaves to my house and test them for individual clarity my female neighbors relationship points go through the roof, leadig me to ping off them more and shape my reality through testing. More sound and touch testing. I dont know of any more fruitful task as im not using a lawn mower of any kind.
>>34967147Right, see I was trying to do it using a lawn mower.
>>34967142So you do think god is real right ?Do you think god is omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent ?
>>34967131The way I see happiness is achieving my long-term desires. Right now, my desire is to be completely free on a spatial and temporal scale.
>>34967155God is everywhere. He's even in the TV.
>>34967154Listen to local trees once u got a language base u just decipher their leaves. Most of their green joints can decipher as well they interface with phytoms in the soil for more solid stuff. They tell u everything u just can act like a faggot and “know better” many tree trimmers do thatI am not kidding here, u can learn basically sight language with trees and enter a new city, without a map proceed to the hottest club and hotel area then find ur one true love, just with tree talk.
>>34967165Why does evil exists if god is benevolent
>>34967142God is not a person, god is all the energy in the universe, intimately connected on the spiritual plane as one being, manifesting as independent physical objects and beingsWe are all god.
>>34967174We have no idea sir. We stand up to the beasts to make monsters of ourselves. Love is but spells to me. Something wrought in iron through a misty set of hills and behind a blackened manor.I will never see love. I will never see tar either. The thing is, only the sight of it will spur me. I find chaliced thought in my own will. Sweetened nothings shank my soul. I will relent soon.Evil wins through brute force. Take a tree and kill it. Take a mouse and kill it. I win through clever words. There is no kill when we just speak our minds. There is only this.
>>34967174Well I never said he was. Read the old testament and you'll see that god takes no mercy upon the sinners.
Most of history is misconstructed. Its already 1984 mateThats why ur so angry. Reconstruct it yourself. The feds will tax u and now u have power but they just send u to jail in china for maybe nothing. They gotta cap it i guess. So youre always behind someone. Unless you make a corp. but ur just buildinf a shield on earth. I suggest building a plane. Our inventing division needs shoring up, good sir! I recommend you do that.
>>34967210Thanks for your advice sir !
Most people of stature start youtube channels, they rent stuff and make 3 videos weave it into one, paying it forwards with rented cars vacations and equipment. All you need to do is react but its hard. This is the lower class art that will escape you from poverty. Its social media.
