hey /adv/, terminal retard here that just hit 32, I'm gonna go off a bit of my experience before, I flunked out of college and had to get my credits to rush of a half useless degree that isn't as good as software engineer (the college degree I was aiming for), instead got a low level game programmer degree, I got some few jobs here and there but none been paying high enough to pay rent or even keep a car, I had a gf for 2 years (she made the move first to date me and also break up) which was vastly more successful than me, she is a doctor with a master's degree, far younger than me too so I always got compared to her of how much of a useless human being I am.I lost my job, my gf said she didn't love me no more and rather tell me the truth than lie to me so we went our separate ways, I had to move back with my parents because the place I was working burned down and as a result everyone lost their job. I have been unemployed for 2 years and getting berated for it every single day while trying to job hunt, I have been at home a lot usually only leaving for gym which I work out 4 days a week, but my mom and dad absolutely trash talk me every day and recently my sister offered me a job, but its minimal wage with some ungodly hours and I would have to work for her and she is really big piece of shit sabotaging everything I did since childhood.
>>34968483like I hold some pride in me than crawl to my sister for bread crumbs, but they went absolutely insane that I rejected that job offer, that she even had the grace to offer a piece of shit like me something when I don't deserve anythingI have been doing 10 years of therapy, very heavy meds since I have been really depressed and I have tried to kill myself 2 times and failed without any lasting consequences (the gun jammed two times in a row, the train had to take an emergency break so it didn't run me over), which I took it as a sign that maybe I should have a bit of faith, but now I'm 32 on the dead end I was thinking I was heading towards, and I don't know what to do, my degree feels useless since I can't get many programming jobs and which in truth, I have been programming at all in these last 2 years so I feel I have lost my touch. I just don't know what to do, I don't want to lower myself to crawl to my sister, but my parents abuse don't get any better.Like there has to be something I could do that isn't some minimum wage garbage my sister was offering with a 7AM to 19PM work not counting the 2 hours I would be commuting.I really don't know what to do, it feels really hopeless and a dead end desu, therapy didn't work so far for me, speaking to the many specialists feels like I'm talking to a parrot that just says back whatever I said to them, the other half I spoke time and time again that the meds don't seem to work, I changed doctors 3 times to see if a different diagnosis would help, they made me take heavier stuff that just leave me as a vegetable the entire day, I'm just really unsure of what to do
Yeah the meds dont help dingus. Its your family controlling you . Society coalesced to make you medicated dumb and molested by your family cus people need a strong man to be around. Thats it. Men dont sacrifice them anymore so u are the sacrifice dont u get it? Its an honor to die for your family. The meds are making you distraught just stop going to the hospital and change names to get away from your senpai
Stop giving them info and never sign anything throw away the bills and stop talking to your family. I stopped meds and became a scientist. It gestates you so you have a childs imagination and understanding after dodging small hiccups you can basically invent better and think around people its just incredibly uncomfortable to doHeres a secret if we keep ignoring the hospital we will get powers! Shh but were the best mental pros after years of learning their own craft most of us are better than them at healing ourselves and others! Think on it
