(This is my first time posting on 4chan and Im not too used to the culture and mechanics)Hi, Im 21(F) and my boyfriend is 25(M). I started dating him in 2024, just before my 19th birthday when he was 23. Well, I love him very much. He's a great guy and an important part of my life. I can safely say, he serves as a moral guide for me, and a bestfriend. Now, Im writing this because Im tired of being around him. We've been living together for the past year and, Ive always known that everyone comes from different backgrounds and when we mix it can cause friction and thats where mutual understanding and mutual compromise comes in, but with him its like we cant even argue. Im not saying arguing is a good thing, but what I mean is I cant say "Well, youre being hypocritical" without him raising his hands and saying he doesnt want to argue. I personally hate conflict to the point where I avoid it most of the time, however, he is very confrontational especially with me. And its tiring cause its a one sided affair. I dont want to be woken up because you cant sit in your own feelings. I dont want to have to listen to you starting every sentence with "YOU". I do most if not all of the domestic work, yet he makes most of the mess and has the itch to tell me Im being lazy when I fold my clothes and set them in the corner cause Im tired. "All you do is play games babe, you could have folded those clothes but you chose to be lazy" Shut up. Shut up. Im going crazy. And he'll talk for hours bringing up past issues that were resolved or how he was once like me and suffered, so now he doesnt want me to suffer by all means necessary. Like would you fuck that? Cause my sex drive is in hell right now. And whats worse is he says I should "SPEAK UP MORE". Woah. So I dont know. I dont know. All this makes me so sad and I dont know. I wish I could further elaborate but it got too long
>>34976197Nah girl, dump that man. Or if you're really invested in the relationship, take it to counceling.
>>34976197>but he makes me sadYou can't fix that and it gets worse. Sometimes two people aren't meant for each other. You are young and should move on.
>>34976197tits or gtfoi am seeing a lot of fucking posts like this "oh i am just a little girl and this is my first time on 4chan" mods, we need countries and ID's. i think this is some kind of indian scam.
>>34976212I get that, and I have been thinking about us going our separate ways. The biggest issue is Im not financially able to leave. Im a uni student (so is he). And recently with USAID being withdrawn my dad doesnt have a stable job. Im 2 months behind on rent, and Im in debt (not heavy debt). I am actively looking for work and gigs to clear my own issues and have the bare minimum to leave.
>>34976275>I don't want to be with him anymore, I find him convenient for his financial help.You're just making him miserable, do you really think he can't sense that something is up here??? lolMy guess is he's miserable because he realizes the relationship is over, but feels responsible for you still.>that can't be!I see threads like that all the fucking time, either men think they can't kick you out because you have nothing else, or they stay with literally insane women because they think they are helping them.If you know the relationship isn't progressing YOU have the obligation to end it. dragging it out is only going to make it worse, on him... then on you.
>>34976197Print out your post here and show it to him.
>>34976197>Now, Im writing this because Im tired of being around him.If it were me, I would break up with him. Perhaps, if he were agreeable, the two of you could try doing couples counselling, but I'm guessing he won't agree, or if he does, it will only be to shut you up, not because he actually intends to engage with the process. So yeah, break up. There are problems, you've tried everything you can to fix them, and it hasn't worked; what else is there?
>>34976314>If you know the relationship isn't progressing YOU have the obligation to end it. dragging it out is only going to make it worse, on him... then on you.Well said, Anon.
>>34976197Good, foids deserve the worst
>>34976197>I do most if not all of the domestic work, yet he makes most of the mess and has the itch to tell me Im being lazy when I fold my clothes and set them in the corner cause Im tired. "All you do is play games babe, you could have folded those clothes but you chose to be lazy" Shut up. Shut up. Im going crazy. And he'll talk for hours bringing up past issues that were resolved or how he was once like me and sufferedSo basically you were being an irresponsible and immature housewife in managing the chores. Sure you weren't feeling well but did you told him it before just leaving shit unattended before it becomes a problem later? By your explanation both of you already argued about it in the past and you expect it to be "fine" and then he confronts you again and "brings up the past" as a reference. It's more of like the past issues were "ignored" and repeated in the present and in your case it was just "resolved" out of neglection.He is clearly speaking by experience with empathy over your situation and in your case you're exaggerating it like some abuse over responsibilities when you've just been called out not like you got yourself beaten over it.> says I should "SPEAK UP MORE". He was telling you to inform him about the things that's going to be a problem later on. It is a problem to him and you're supposed to inform him but you also have your own personal problem which you didn't inform him also like you weren't feeling well or prefer to do event on your games that can't be missed out on.You sound like a terrible roommate by the looks of it even if you two aren't couples anymore you'd be treated worst by your future roommate in a different timeline.
>>34976197A couple of things.-read "Your Perfect Right" about being a little more assertive. My therapist recommended it and it helped me a lot.-when old issues are brought up, stop the conversation and say "we are discussing xyz right now. if you want to bring up abc, we will discuss it later but not revisiting it now." stick to that.
>>34976197>he is very confrontational especially with meWho initiates the conflicts? Not who's responsible. Literally, who speaks first?>without him raising his hands and saying he doesn't want to argue>he says I should "SPEAK UP MORE"These two things don't make sense together without more context.>he doesnt want me to suffer by all means necessaryWhat specifically is he talking about?>Im tired of being around him>I dont want to be woken up because you cant sit in your own feelingsThen you don't like him. "Great guy", "important", "moral guide" don't mean anything.
>>34976734Holy incel. She said she does most/all of the housework. As a grown ass man you should be embarrassed that your woman is doing all the work around the house. Her lazy fuck of a bf can't even boil an egg I bet. >>34976946I like this advice, bringing up the past all the time is annoying. If OP clearly has changed from the past while he hasn't it's unfair to hold that over her forever.
>>34976197You’re his mommy, not his woman. The worst thing you ever did to him was be with him. Now the fact that you ever loved him at all is gonna mess his head up when you eventually leave. He’ll cry and have a hard time, but he’s a grown man, he’ll get over it. My literal jaw dropped when I read: “All you do is play games babe, you could have folded those clothes but you chose to be lazy"!!!!!!! Yeah he woulda got df out right then and there or I would’ve. Weird ass mf. Get you a man that values you and don’t need you because he can’t sit in his feelings like a lil boy. AND THIS IS COMING FROM A GROWN, SINGLE, STRAIGHT MAN.
