Divorce. Make life worth waking up for for your kids.

>>35000102
In my head, my wife would be happy and outgoing. We'd have 4 kids on land. She would go out and do outdoor stuff with them. She would enjoy being a mom. This woman doesn't like to do anything. She doesn't seem to like being a mom. If we plan a big excursion, it's basically two hours of preparation and driving, 30 minutes of meandering around, and then two hours of returning home. Nothing gets accomplished. I just waste time and money.

>>35000106
I don't think I'd end up with the kids.

>>35000111
You won't lose them entirely unless you are abusing them or nonfunctional yourself. You aren't, right?

>>35000115
No, but I would move. We live in the middle of nowhere. It's an hour to Walmart. We wanted to buy rural land and be outdoorsy. The land is not developed yet but I am having trouble saving because life in America is so expensive.

We met in Europe. She is European. This is why she cannot drive.

>>35000118
Drive car us simple. Is she retarded?

>>35000129
She is overweight and refuses to get a learner's permit until she is at her goal weight. She absolutely despises getting her photo taken and I effectively have zero photos of us as a family because of this.

She is making significant, impressive progress of losing baby fat to achieve this goal but is still several months off.

>>35000135
Not gonna lie this sounds depressing as fuck.

>>35000376
It is.

>>35000135
Whats your diet like rn? Sounds like you need to focus on this first.
Make sure to cut out sugar, high fructose, seed oil, all wheat if in US, and any processed food.

>>35000111
>If we plan a big excursion, it's basically two hours of preparation and driving, 30 minutes of meandering around, and then two hours of returning home
Wtf is this day? You driving the kids to Disneyland or something?
>we plan
This is two people's brainpower?

>be me
>plan excursion
>10 min there, let kids run loose while I sit on a bench, 10 min back
>repeat every day

>>35000425
>Wtf is this day? You driving the kids to Disneyland or something?
>>35000118
>We live in the middle of nowhere. It's an hour to Walmart.

>>35000111
Why did you marry her? What did you like about her?

>>35000440
She's very funny. We understand each other very well. We have so many personal jokes that if you listened to us talk you would not be able to follow the conversation. We've also done a lot together before settling.

This "we understand each other" thing cuts really badly in the wrong way. If she's unhappy, I am unhappy. If I'm unhappy, she's unhappy. It's like a radio feedback loop.

My main grievance is she has no mental elasticity. If she isn't happy, she will not become happy on her own. She never recovers from a bad mood unless I go out of my way to cheer her up.

I can't really complain too loudly because I am also a very moody person. I generally work all day online and I deal with a lot of bullshit so I am very annoyed most of the time.

>>35000454
Was she always fat?

>>35000511
No, but she has always struggled with weight. She had an eating disorder when we met. She recovered from the eating disorder and only gained weight from having two babies. I would not say she was seriously overweight at any time. She just has bad self-image.

It does not make sense to not get a photo id when it is the key to being able to gain some independence. She just cares that much about a bad photo she cannot do it. So she suffers from a very high level of learned helplessness. We've been in the US for almost four years.

>>35000522
Where from Europe is she

>>35000522
I suppose you found her less sexy after the weight gain?

Never thought I’d be an expensive shoe girl but these $1,200 boots are perfect

>>35000526
Central.

>>35000527
We have sex almost every day and she gives really good blowjobs. What ruins it a little is that I know she is using it for validation and basically ensuring I am not masturbating. She is viciously insecure about pornography. I agree with her that pornography is harmful, so I abstain, and we have sex enough that it is not an issue. I only mention it because I think our sexual dynamic is completely unique and unhealthy. I feel like I have more sex than almost anyone else alive, but it's only because my wife desperately does not want me to masturbate. Just another way I feel controlled and stuck.

>>35000537
Does it still feel good though? Sex can be gross

>>35000540
Yes

>>35000543
I mean that's good. At least she puts out, your situation isn't that bad when it comes to fucking. Those men who are in dead bedroom marriages are far worse off than you.

>>35000557
Yes if we had a dead bedroom I would divorce her. She's trying to make me happy but all I want is the sense my work hasn't been for nothing. I want her happy and right now neither of us are happy. I'm trapped in large part because things aren't bad enough to give up.

>>35000566
I think your children are a good reason to keep things going. I mean God forbid you get a divorce and they end up with some creepy step-dad.

So she moved from Europe to be with you and has two toddlers to take care of? No daycare? No family or friends? Only a depressoid husband who wants to divorce her? And an eating disorder she is using to cope? Sounds miserable for her.

Talk to her, you've both got children and a life...it changes with kids, truly you are blessed to have a wife a family that in itself is far more than many and alot more than many will ever have...Read books get away from tech and develop that land you own

>>35000901
Her parents are elderly. She didn't have many friends and politics drove them apart. By the time we moved, she was already not talking to any friends.

She doesn't want to put the kids in daycare.

>>35000975
I'm financially restrained. I wanted to start building this year but I'm set back at least another year.

>funny
>eager to please
>some baby weight but losing it
>sex every day
>great blowjobs
>white(?)

I'll make her happy if you don't want her. Maybe she just needs a real man. You sound like a bitch.

You are her rock, you fell in love with this woman and in fairness she went all in giving she moved from the eu to us that's commitment, the financial side I wholeheartedly understand and more than likely she does too, however you have a true dream. Keep busy always talk and get rest, kids see it all and our job as parents is to give them better than we had, kids don't care for money at that age they care for being understood, praising their achievements and your wife wants to be at home that's awesome in its own right, daycare you'll both miss out on the joy of them that one day won't be there

Before considering divorce download a dating app and look at what's out there for 35 year old men. It's all single moms of mutt children who are morbidly obese, tattooed, blue haired, libtards who put palestine flags and BLM their bio with 300 bodies looking for a betabux to settle down with because on top of being fat sluts they are also entitled. The grass is not greener unless your wife is a next level ugly harpy.

>I am responsible for everything but monitoring the kids.
Does she not help with cooking or chores?

>She has no hobbies or interests anymore
Does she have free time to pursue hobbies or interests or is she always with the kids?

>She browses Twitter every waking moment
I thought you said she watches two under 5 all day?

>>35000434
Ive also lived in the middle of nowhere with a kid. It was even easier than pavement
Let him play in the stream.

>>35001079
Selection bias anon. Dating apps aren't where successful sex-having MILFs go.

>>35001186
She does keep the house.

She's always with the kids, but on her phone. She uses her phone to read things that make her upset. I'm not exaggerating, she only looks for news that is upsetting.

I'd like her to do more with the kids, or a hobby that integrates the kids.

>>35001014
>>35001079
You're right, she is really great, but it feels like a gilded cage because the price I've paid for a pretty great woman is every other opportunity I could have ever had.

>>35001261
don't you have two kids?
every other opportunity you had goes to them now, fuck you (in the nicest way possible)
you're having a midlife crisis. sounds like you have an objectively fine life and want more from life because it "ended up this way" but if you shake the boat too hard you will tumble it
sounds like you need to have a conversation with your wife about her phone habits if it's bothering you this much

>>35001298
I'll give you an example of what she does that makes it difficult to be happy. She has very legible body language. If she's upset, I know she's upset.

I take long showers. I always have. I like to decompress under warm running water. As I've mentioned, she is very insecure about me masturbating. She basically considers it cheating. If I randomly take a shower and we did not have sex the night before, she gets very obviously unhappy. The body language is loud. She won't confront me about it because it makes me furious to be accused of something I did not do. So she just buzzes with this insecurity that might as well just be her accusing me of masturbating. I don't masturbate in the shower.

That basically ruins the entire day. She won't broach the subject, I don't want to talk to her because I don't want to be falsely accused of something I didn't do, so there's just static. I can't focus. I can't work. She's upset, I'm upset.

This can last for several days. It's basically whoever first decides to stop acting upset. It's usually me.

>>35001308
This happens all the time. It happened three times this week alone. That's why I'm more upset than usual. During these hornets-nest-in-my-brain periods of our relationship, I am just thinking about how I wish I wasn't here. I wish I was alive back in Cyprus or meeting new people in Estonia. Instead, I am in one of the poorest places in the entire country, cut off from all opportunity, with a woman who is upset that I possibly touched my penis in a way she didn't approve of.

It really just makes me feel like my entire life led up to nothing. The kids are the only things keeping me going. The oldest is starting to develop a good personality.

She's probably insecure after having two kids. It's normal for women to have body image issues after pregnancy/weight gain. Also if you are the only person in her life because she moved for you and has no friends and family plus is completely financially dependent on you she probably has really bad fear of abandonment as well that expresses itself in depression/insecurity and being clingy and trying to please you because she knows her life is fucked if you get tired of her.

Have you told her your feelings about thinking you missed out on other opportunities because of her? Or can she sense you feel that way? Because that would be a contributing factor as well.

>>35001314
Seems clear then that she can sense you want to leave her and her reaction to that is to be overly insecure and anxious.

>>35001349
She probably senses it. She picks up very easily on if I say something like, "I wish I had visited Japan before we had kids" and digs deeply into that because she knows me so well.

>>35001314
>led up to nothing
>literally in the next two sentences describes some of the human male's greatest personal feelings
Got to reframe the shit out of life progress. It's not so linear.
That being said, her not communicating is a hard, hard, hard obstacle to ever overcome. Talking and having hard conversations and shit is what prevents simple things like long showers from rotting it all out. But she's literally not talking. Days on end of being upset because you took a shower and aren't cheating on her? It sounds childish because it is, but the real issue underneath is the failure to communicate, which will kill you from the inside man.
And the kids already see the effect on you and her, and will feel the effects if you two -- who are the only ones with the powers to address it --continue to fail to. The situation IS going to end eventually... but how it's treated will dictate the ending all the way through man.
I hope that stream of consciousness makes sense

And then what, anon? Do you really think another woman will make you happy? The idea that people, hobbies, it objects can make someone truly satisfied are why the way the world it is today.

>>35000102
Is she kind of schizoid?
Sounds like she could use some friends besides you, and living in the middle of nowhere is hard for her.

>>35000102
Can you encourage her to live "healthier". I mean that in a how she spends her time sense. Doom scrolling is bloody awful for people, and often fills a void most in depressive people and people with too much time on their hands.

I read a book "Atomic habbits" which helps with stuff like this. Is she resonable in being open to trying stuff, or would you be speaking to a brickwall if you tried to better yourself/her?

>being happy
This is gay and arbitrary. Happiness comes and goes. In your 30s and 40s you have to suck it up and do the needful for your kids and other responsibilities. Your dopamine levels are probably fucked (like most of us) due to your lifestyle in your teens and 20s. Your wife mirrors your internal world.
>dont want all the hard work to be for nothing
Just stop caring and be outcome independent. Don't make your wife's happiness the goal because it's an impossibility for women and just as vague as mentioned above.
>seeks validation and approval from me constantly
Your own fault because you stuck her in the middle of nowhere with no friends or family to spread out the validation burden. Also you're home all day so easily available.
>Euro girl with no license
I'm in the same situation... europoors are retarded with this, although its probably better if she's off the road. We had to move back to a city.

>>35001362
Well there you have it, her neurotic behavior is caused by fear of abandonment because she senses you want to leave her and are unhappy with chosing life as a family man instead of world traveler.

If you ask me you got it made but want what you don't have. If you instead traveled the world alone you probably wished you had a wife and family who love you.

>help me 4chan my devoted tradwife is too obsessed with having sex with me all the time and posessive of my seed because she wants to be creampied daily
larp or bait or humblebrag, fuck you either way

All women seek validation through sex, it's just how they are wired. Fat and ugly ones who don't get much attention otherwise especially. Women after 30 and women who gave birth also have to watch their sexual market value tank and it makes them panic. A woman with small children who doesn't get out much probably has no external validation at all plus little time for self care to make herself feel pretty.

Seeking validation from your husband within a monogamous marriage is the healthiest way for a woman to receive validation, the alternative is hook ups or opening an OnlyFans. That's also why almost every woman has an Instagram now, it gives them a constant flood of validation from thirst comments.

Is your wife ugly? I noticed you didn't mention her appearence positively in any way and said she was always avoiding pictures.

>>35001308
I don't get it, why don't you just fuck her then and there?
She'll get reassured, you'll get a quiet and peaceful day.

>>35001308
Install a camera in your shower so she can watch you shower.

>>35000118
>This is why she cannot drive.

The fuck? Driving licenses require you to do shitloads of tests and stuff here, and also most Eurpoean countries don't have the insane speed limits of the US.
Unless shes clinically retarded, she will be fine to drive in your country with a few hours practive on some abandoned parking lot or whatever.
Its obviously just an excuse to be more dependent on you.

>>35000102
Tell her she's draining your will to live with her stupid bullshit. There is always two sides to the story but from what you've said she is a fucking pain in the ass. It is almost entirely your fault though.