when I get upset with somebody my reaction is either hide it until I get over it or break contact with them if that isn't possiblePeople be like "talk stuff out" and "be open about your feelings" but they also be like "don't use other people as your emotional dumpbags", "don't force others into emotional labor" and "you need to be emotionally mature before dating or forming relationships with others"I haven't found a way to reconcile the two, and it's wrecking my relationships. I know people say you need to get over your issues before getting into a relationship, but I want somebody to reassure me and to make me feel loved, because not having that is literally my issues, and how am I supposed to learn to socialize if I'm not allowed to socialize until I've learned to socialize?People literally say that asking for reassurance is toxic, and that I should trust them without asking them to prove it, but literally I can't live that way, I want people to reassure me and make me feel they careI literally can't imagine a relationship where my needs and the other person''s needs are fulfilled at the same time, and that's why I usually don't socialize and when I do, I feel so fucking selfish
what things about others upset you?
>>35003772>don't use other people as your emotional dumpbagsYou shouldnt be worried about using other people as emotional dumpbags.Let me try and learn you something. When you personally reach out to someone you know and tell them that you are suffering. They are socially obligated to help you to some extent. Because if they don't, the question you ask is, "why won't you help me don't you care?" And then the mask slips and you realize they have just been pretending to be nice all along.They dont want to help anyone but themselves so they pin the blame on you for asking. They are just psychopathic hypocrites playing the game of life. You should cut out those people from your life as soon as possible.
>>35004607the mask never slips though. there are people out there that are fake nice to everyone literally 24/7also I don't want people to "be socially obligated to help me". I just wish somebody could help me out without feeling forced to or feeling bothered by it
>>35005866>the mask doesnt slip though.Some people will never stop faking but what i meant was that you realize that they are faking.>I don't want people to "be socially obligated to help me".Its just about perspective, some people see it as an obligation others don't. You want someone to help you because they care about you and that's unfortunately hard to come by.
