How can i forgive someone that betrayed me and still refuses to apologize? My parents let me down on multiple occasions and they still refuse to even acknowledge that they harmed me. They are nice and caring to me but they did tremendous harm to me and still refuse to apologize, i want to be nice to them and love them but i find it hard to do that. I think i have lots of conflicting feelings that i don't know what to do with.
What did they do
you have to accept that you might not get the apologies you'd like to receive for whatever reasons they consider valid enough, maybe they think they aren't at fault, I'd say it'd be more productive to focus on yourself since if they give or not apologies is up to them, not to you
There gets to be a point where you have to distance yourself, even if it's family. I have a grandmother that does nothing but berate my mom for making bad decisions but offering nothing in the way of support, and I flat out told my mom that that sort of thing ends with me and that I would outright not be participating in any sort of discussion involving me whenever it trickled down to how I've somehow failed. I also never accept birthday/holiday wishes, phone calls, etc. from my grandma as a result. She's been like this for decades, so it isn't old age causing her to act this way.You can only be as nice as you have the capacity for, and if you're making this post and wondering how to forgive, I think that they've done things that you can't forgive.
>>35005394You don't have to forgive them. You can if you want, but you don't have to. If you want to forgive them, you have to accept they are who they are, and if they never apologize, that's what it is. Again it's valid to never forgive if they never acknowledged the harm, but your willingness to forgive will not magically change them.
>>35005394Very often on these pages the crimes attributed to parents turn out to be the child's own failings which he cannot admit to himself
>>35005394Forgiving someone isn't the same thing as excusing their actions. Forgiveness is simply letting go of your own hurt and anger. When you forgive someone, you don't say "What you did was okay", you say "What you did was not okay and never will be okay, but I am choosing not to let that matter to me any more."
>>35005394Don't. I hang out with my mother but I don't have to think she's a wonderful person who wouldn't fuck me over for $50. Love from a slight distance. Don't trust them with things that can hurt you just get them to buy you dinner and new shoes sometimes.
>>35005422>>35005423>>35005425>>35005540Thing is, i used to love them and care deeply for them to the point of obsession, it is like i want to be indifferent to them but i do not know how, i am not used to that. My father is trying to connect with me but i still can't get past these feelings of betrayel.
