I've had a gf for half year since then but I feel like whoever I'd date, I'd do it because I can't date my first love who's more graceful than anyone else
Our memory lies to us. You love the idea of who you thought she was, you do not actually know who she is or who she is becoming. That being said if you can let go of that then when you find something new you can really enjoy it and feel no more burden. Accept you are bad at reading character when thinking back, but enjoy putting trust into new relationships
I dont listen to narc manipulation and I will only see my m as when we last looked into each others eyes and heard each others voice.