She knows how it felt 5 years ago with me.

>>35012634
Low key advice thread because I personally feel in a deadened or shallow relationship and I'm curious to compare my situation and standards to others', so I can gauge the depth of my own misery

>>35012634
Any guy who is even moderately attractive would have known that answer by now. If you're just an average guy just go and shoot yourself in the head because LIFE IS NOT WORTH IT

>>35012645
I wouldn't know either and I'm a girl

>>35012634
there is no "supposed to be"
but to answer your question, the key thing i can think of is the possibility of being hurt, getting attached and growing together; Person A has lived his own life, Person B too, you 2 in that ideal relationship you 2 are now 1

>>35012641
well, comparing is what kills joy, but you should know it in your gut, the small things, how you 2 seem bored out of each other, how you 2 are only in the relationship because there is nothing else out there

you cannot expect everything to be perfect, but if your relationship started on a dating app, it very likely is shallow, give us more details and we can help

>>35012634
Are you absolutely certain that if you fell off a ladder and broke both your legs, that your partner would support you during your months of convalescence, bring you food and assist with your physio?
If no, then you have a concubine, not a partner.

>>35012673
Lol it did start on a dating app. But I never saw that as the problem, just that we're either incompatible in some way or have grown incompatible in time

Anyway I don't feel like he knows me or wants to know me at deeper levels, either out of lack of interest or fear I might rustle his homely comfort or harmony (I'm mentally ill which I told him from day one and I thought he took seriously but judging by his shocked and inconvenienced reactions when I "act out" I would say he just went along and closed his eyes to it).

I want to get to know him more, think and talk about deep things, imaginative things, go on small or bigger adventures and feel like we're both part of a meaningful story. I'm a hopeless romantic in some way. I'm also a bit on the schizo side (I have and like exploring weird experiences, strange dreams, etc.) which he's a bit intrigued about since he rarely has them but also never wants to explore further. Like I might tell him I've been having lately night terrors and sleep paralysis that left me shaken and drained and the most I'll get is a "jesus" and the convo ends there - he won't even ask if there's something going on with me that makes me not be able to rest at night? He'll only ask if I appear visibly bothered and ruining his good vibes but if he does not like the answer he'll likely dismiss me as whiny or move on quickly to other things.

Now that I think of it, I'm not only not special and invisible to him but also rejected. I love him and feel attracted to him physically but I'm empty on the inside and I feel like I don't like him anymore, even though he's a genuinely good, warm and popular person.

So yeah I'm not sure if this is the stupid hopeless side of me deluded into thinking relationships can be anything special at all on the long term, or if this is actually a common thing and normal to not feel special to your loved one

>>35012761
Discussions of deep/imaginative things happen not because a relationship reaches level X but because both people are interested in discussing deep/imaginative things separately.

He prolly considers topics you want to talk about childish. Because let's face it, discussing dreams is boring. I used to get massive sleep paralyses and I didn't really mention it to anyone because who cares.

If you're not there just for sex or he wants a long term relationship then you're special to him but you two are operating with different priorities and if he's locked in he has actual things going on so imaginative stuff goes on the backburner and odds are you are never gonna get to explore it together because as both of you grow it'll slide even further down on the list of priorities vs real life.

Rather nice, actually

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8kYfPoHyos&list=RDj8kYfPoHyos&start_radio=1

>>35012882
>because who cares
i would care

>>35012634
Love is what matters. Playing the game and getting girls is easy, but vapid and empty. I choose love.

>>35012634
When they're still investigating it can be exciting but it's terrifying. I don't know what it feels like to be truly seen, only half seen and then discarded. They're interested until they find enough things they don't like, or they get used to you and little things they deemed not a problem in the beginning start to bother them. Then it's like showing someone you respect a project you've been working hard on and are really proud of and then they call you a stupid piece of shit.

There is no such relationship you can have unless it's with a soul mate. And soul mates aren't going to show up for everyone, unfortunately.

It's bad enough to live in this society, if you need to hide yourself and you feel lesser when you're with your SO, then it means they're just a lover-partner-companion in this life and nothing more. Don't reveal your soul to them unless you're looking to get hurt

>>35012746
This is actually a great answer. Cuts through all the babble and bullshit and sets a perfect litmus test

I would never feel fulfilled or special in any relationship unless I'm seen and respected for my mind. They don't have to love or accept every part of me, and I can agree that I need some work done, but the other person absolutely needs to acknowledge me wholly as an individual.

>>35014749
You are close but what you describe is settling. I dont settle for less than.

The one for me knows all of me as i know all of her.

>>35014766
That's what I mean too, or at least wanted to. They know me, they want to know me and they never stop wanting to know. And the same goes the other way around. I hope you find the one

>>35014771
Then she shows up and keeps her promises to me. Fights for us. I need more than words.

Giving her a home to grow while feeling secure and accepted. I don't need a mirror , I need the individual who completes me, compliments who I am.

I will accept all of her because that is love. That doesn't disregard harm done, but it gives a foundation for her to do better.

>>35012761
He's not compatible with you and is not the one. What you are experiencing is settling for less than.

You can have all you desire and yearn for. Dream of. But only with the one made for you.

>>35014799
Yeah how do you even find the one made for you in a world of billions?

>>35014861
I found my maria and she made a mistake and listened to the lies, larps and manipulations of C.

I dont know what we lost so far. Its on her to course correct home to me and show commitment and loyalty.

Certain things are unforgivable to me. I dont know how god will guide me through that with her. But maybe we didnt lose anything, someway somehow.

Theres a boat in the storm, chaos, fear capsizing the crew woke up and rushed to jesus. He looked at them with consideration and waved his hand. The storm dismissed revealed a clear warm sky and the warm sun. The once overwhelmed crew looked to him as he spoke
>"do ye not yet have faith?"

When she disappeared , I went to church and that was the sermon. The other night I flipped open my bible and the scripture my eyes first saw talked of gods support and restoring the moon, then the next lines told that same scripture of the sermon from that day 5 years ago.


The horrid shit i see when I look toward her.
Fear, doubt, anger
Why?

>do ye not yet have faith?

Bump

>>35012656
hey

>>35012746
I pretty much use the airport test. If your friend or partner cant or wont pick you up/drop you off? You're dealing with someone who sees you as transactional. Funny enough that's how I started to find out my ex wasn't shit, asked this bitch in advance if she could drop me off, day comes and she gives some bullshit "I forgot" excuse and I had to call an Uber. Lesson learned.

>>35012634
is it a chore to spend time with them?

>>35014778
>Then she shows up and keeps her promises to me. Fights for us. I need more than words.

This. Shit. Right. Here, my WHOLE issue with women and relationships is that they dont fight for shit. I have wasted countless months and sleepless nights trying to fight for this shit and all I get are shrugs and meh's from the bitch. I no longer believe a woman's words, she can say I'm the king of the moon, but unless she actually ACTS, then no. You aren't shit but talk.

>>35017199
>King of the moon
Uh huh sure

>>35017312
Exactly my point retard, words mean nothing, action does.

>>35012634
Depends on the individual. Some people its comforting to have someone enmeshed in your history and to others it can be scary.

>>35017347
Well I made that point here
>>35014778
But its not that words dont matter at all. They mean a ton when told honestly and from the heart. Its just that follow through matters just as much.

Cute moon pic

>>35017178
>>35012746
The standards are bottom of the barrel, no wonder everyone is so miserable, whether they are single or in a relationship

>>35019610
Unfortunately couple don't get together because of love but settle because of convenience and are convinced that settling is love. It isn't.

Bump

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