(21m) I fucked up everything so bad I dont even know where to start cause of how much ive messed up. Ive been faking college for 2 years and have been doing nothing. I felt I had to move far away with relatives because my dad doesnt pay for my moms house anymore and I did not want to stay with my dad cause he has no extra rooms for privacy for me. I spoke to two people about being roomates but in the end they ditched my plans and now I have to stay with my grandma. I miss home alot, I miss certain people too, I ran away thinking it was gonna be better especially since they wont nag me about what im doing in life but its almost worse here. I wanna move back so bad but I cant this quick cause I would feel bad for the relatives I just moved in with. What the fuck am I doing? What is wrong with me? I hate my shit decisions I dont know why I did them. I am lonely and nobody likes me either, I know im young and things dont make sense but no matter where I go im going to dissapoint someone. Again I really really hate it here but the faster I move back the more im gonna look like a failiure and dissapoint my relatives. Im just hurting everyone and im gonna keep hurting myself with these failed shot in the dark attempts at making my life better because im always doing "easier said than done." They want me to get a job but im so depressed and I hate being autistic and not being able to speak, especially where I live now. I feel I should put that out there but who isnt mentally disabled this board.How can I not dissapoint people???
Best thing you can do is just to come clean. A moment of embarrassment is better than a lifetime of guilt and loneliness. Having a solid support group helps a ton.
>>35014942Don’t go back.
