Hey, Anons. I'm completely fucking lost and exhausted.I'm a 22M trying to find a woman I can love, build a life with, and eventually start a family with. But despite following advice from the internet and people IRL, I'm making zero progress. I've been hitting the gym religiously for 2 years, improved my looks, upgraded my wardrobe, take care of my face, socialize, and try to be a fun person to be around. I'm proud of how far I've come, but dating still feels like punching a fucking brick wall.Dating apps are a shitshow. I get matches, but I'm always carrying the conversation, asking questions, and trying to get to know them. They either lose interest after a day or turn out to be batshit insane. I've tried meeting women IRL and befriending them, too, but some experiences have only made me more cynical. I know not every woman is like this, and men aren't saints either, but where the fuck are all the kind, genuine women? Am I just unlucky, looking in the wrong places, or is modern dating really this fucked? I don't want hookups or stupid mind games. I want a serious relationship with someone who shares my values and puts in equal effort. Yet it feels like women my age (18–30) either want something casual or aren't interested in building a future together. Even guys I talk to seem indifferent. I've heard dudes say they don't give a shit if a woman has slept with 20+ men, making me wonder if I'm just out of touch with what people want nowadays.Anons, what the fuck am I doing wrong?Where do you meet women who genuinely want commitment and a family? How do you recognize someone who's actually kind and compatible? If you've been in my position, what finally worked? I'm willing to accept I might be the problem. I just want honest advice beyond the usual "go to church" or "just be yourself, bro" bullshit. I'm tired of putting in the effort and getting nowhere.
I don't know
>>35018277In school, language courses and the like. Also you nab them from guys with shittier lives, which implies you must have a fun happy life yourself, or learn to fake one.
>>35018439Won't they just dump your ass once they reach that moment?
>>35018277What's your height?
Do the opposite of everything you read you desperate nigger. Be the fat greasy fuck who bangs 10s. Just do it, don't ask how. Never lift again.
>>35018514That part. I've dated some gutter bitches who suddenly think they can boss up past you because you showed them a shred of love.
>>35018277idk bro i am a 23 year old khhv despite doing the self improvement bullshit for all my life. it doesnt help that all my friends who have girlfriends have had them since middle school, and the rest are all virgins like me. i have a shitton of social hobbies, i also lift consistently, jacked, tall etc whatever. yet i can never get signs of attraction from any woman i meet. as i understand you cant just pester and accost random women, you need to at least recieve some signal of interest from her before you ask her out. but i never do. they always seem like asexual amoebae in front of me. i dont think im ugly, i dont know what i am missing and as i said, my social circle gives me no actionable advice, since its either "idk man i started dating my girlfriend in 7th grade" or "idk man ive never touched a woman either", and the internet spouts the same old "be yourself/take a shower/lift more" rhetoric as always. I DONT KNOW!!!!!!!!!! I AM FUCKING PISSED!!!
>>35018277Eros no longer exist in the modern world. If you dont want to be lonely, travel to the Philippines and figure it out.
>>35018277>Anons, what the fuck am I doing wrong?Giving a shit about a woman's body count is definitely holding you back.
I have no idea. Women don't seem to exist to me. It's weird because I at least remember getting women give me flirtatious looks when I was youngerNow at 26 I'm a total ghost online and irl Pretty sure the dating apps are either hiding my profile or my profile is major women-repellant for reasons that I don't understand I swipe hundreds get zero match or 1 that ghosts. Then I either jerk off or go fuck a prozzieShit is so grim. Welcome to being an adult
change your fucking attitude m8. you sound frustrated and people around you will notice. finding love isn't math. you don't have to do x + y + z to then get a gf or be attractive. confidence is the most attractive asset for a man. seeing how you put emphasis on the gym and looks in your text, you sound like an insecure tryhard, which people notice. figure out what kind of woman you want in your life and go to where you could find her. join groups. find hobbies. do them because you are interested and try to make friends. go sit at a bar's counter and talk to people. be out there and be confident. have something to bring to the table more than "h-hey i shower!". some people are naturally attracted to each other. learn to understand non-verbal cues and to subtly show that you are interested. don't be a creep.
>>350185966'0"
>>35018841how do you learn non verbal cues? what does being a creep entail? these are all things taken for granted by people who were socialized normally as children, and are not socially stunted frustrated men in their 20s. Telling someone like OP to "just implicitly understand the social intricacies" is like telling a colorblind person "just tell red and green apart". what is the method? now of course you will turn around and say "there is no method", but then in your post you completely reject any skills or qualities OP has by saying "because you do x you are an insecure tryhard". So often this is the pattern i see here - anything the person asking for advice has actually done and is good at is either (a) useless or (b) negative (here OP is a creepy tryhard for going to the gym and dressing nicely) and the solution is always the opposite of what has been done. If OP had complained about not getting women after trying to approach plenty women, you or someone else would tell him that that's useless and he needs to go to the gym.Basically what ive gathered from lurking here and compiling the advice on threads like these is that there is no method, and that there is luck involved in getting women. You might be one of the lucky ones that get a nice girl practically fall into your lap and thats it or you can toil and work towards it and end up empty handed.
>>35018865>everyone on 4chan is the same persontake ur medsthere is luck involved but you can increase your chances by putting yourself out there, joining groups and being confident in different social situations. even if you're some form of autist (like everyone here), you can learn to pick up non-verbal cues and learn how to properly interact with people. it's pretty easy to google and shit, i was just pointing out that this is what he should focus on instead of thinking "i work out at the gym so i must look nice, why don't women approach me?" because going to the gym is a good advice to be healthy and fit but a terrible advice for someone looking to date
>>35018277At ripe age of 22 you're still a boy. You will find a woman when you mature a bit. Despite what women say, it's not about the looks and who cares what women say or think.
>Where do you meet women who genuinely want commitment and a family? How do you recognize someone who's actually kind and compatible? If you've been in my position, what finally worked?Do all the pickup artist shit. Start thinking like a pimp and not a beta provider.
>>35018277there is no winning. it's been made so difficult that it's essentially impossible as soon as your out of education
>>35018880Kys ur retarded.
>>35018277Bail on this guy asap. A man is going to immediately and directly try to get you to agree to a date and later a relationship if he wants anything real to develop between you. This dudes excuse is weak and faggy. He's 100% trying to maneuver you into a FWB position outside a relationship. Maybe even play you off your friend.
>>35018277Disclaimer: I only know what I've read here.You are going to need to filter people better than you are currently doing.When you meet the right people, you don't feel like you're putting effort in. You ARE putting in effort, but it feels like a joy and it's so easy. And they're helping move the conversation along just as much as you are.You describe yourself going on dates with people who need you to carry the conversation -- you shouldn't have even met up with them to begin with. It should have been obvious from your Tinder conversations that there wasn't anything there. And if you're only meeting dickheads in your IRL life, that means you're doing something subconsciously to make that happen. As to how you're doing that, there's too many different possibilities for me to say. Good people stay away from those who hang out with bad people, so that could be why. Or it could be that you're not attracted to something good people do on first impression. Or you ARE attracted to something bad people do on first impression, before you know they're bad.>making me wonder if I'm just out of touch with what people want nowadays.Of course you are. Who wants to look for the person they'll marry at 22? Everyone knows it might happen, but it's not something you look for at that age. Very few people want to date someone with that kind of immense pressure. That changes when you turn 25, I want to say.If you didn't know that, I'm surprised.
>>35018841Good post>confidence is the most attractive asset for a manAnd just to be specific, this means "easy confidence". The kind of guy who cheerfully or nonchalantly does things. NOT the kind of assertive dickhead confidence you see people talk about here sometimes. (Some girls like that, but a lot hate it.)>>35018651You seem to be doing the right thing. So if you haven't got there yet, don't worry. It's not your fault.There could be a few things going on:Firstly, it's a numbers game. You could just have got unlucky.When it comes to girls, there's two contradictory statements that are unfortunately both true.>1. "When she's into you, you'll know it">2. Girls often do not show when they're into you. At least not SEXUALLY.What people mean by pt 1 is that girls don't play hard to get.* When you meet a girl who's into you, things will just flow easier. However, this doesn't mean she'll be sexually flirty with you (pt 2). Many women won't because they're shy or because it's just not their style. They'll just be more friendly and more enthusiastic about doing stuff with you. Generally, you won't feel like you're a jester trying to entertain a queen -- you'll feel like a hot knife slipping through butter.>they always seem like asexual amoebae in front of meThis is very normal, especially the first time you meet a woman. Girls will almost never be sexual with a guy they've met for the first time. It's the second time you guys meet up (by choice, like, because you both exchanged contact details and agreed to do something together for example) that she might start doing that sort of thing.*Some absolute cunts do play hard to get. Way less than you'd think, though, and each and every one of them is awful to hang out with (let alone date). So just imagine they don't exist.
Well you're using dating apps wrong, OP. You're not supposed to carry on a boring back and forth for days, you're supposed to expediently exploit all her holes THAT DAY/NIGHT
>>35018841Revolting post
>>35018277>>35018651If they seem asexual around you its because you're seen as unattractive. They become whores in the presence of the right guy, I've seen it myself. Used to work as a bartender for a while, the behavior I've seen was enough to blackpill me for life. Even the shy, mousy ones become whores that grope and grind. Those same girls act like royalty in the presence of their beta male friends and they even get offended and disgusted if anything related to sex comes out of the mouth of a man they don't find attractive. If a girl is ever acting appalled at the mention of women even so much as having a libido, its because the man that's even so much as going into that topic without being attractive, is deemed as a creep instantly. They will try to shame you into going back where you belong in their imagined hierarchy. They don't want ugly men seeing them as the whores that they know they are, especially in friend groups. If the ugly ones found out the girls were giving ass to their attractive male friends, that could potentially open them up to approaches from those same betabuxx friendzoned guys and they couldn't explain away the dynamic without social incrimination.
Modern woman are not kind or easy going. They weren’t raised to be that way and what’s more they’ve been thoroughly mind raped by psyops and social media induced hysteria. Not to say that there are no nice ones. But the nice ones are so exceptionally poor at socialising and communicating that they will come across like the others at least until you get to know them better.If you make peace with the fact that the fundamental standards and expectations you have on how other people should be don’t exist anymore and haven’t for years, you’ll find it easier. People are what they are. What can we do?
