My girl and I have been dating for a year now. She's been friends with this dude for a couple of years, even before we started dating. He gives me orbiter vibes. According to her, he's willing to do anything for her. Whenever she needs help with anything, he'll drop his plans and help her out. When we start dating, she refuses to tell him that she's gotten in a relationship for the longest time because "it'll make him feel betrayed". I keep telling her to tell him, but her excuse is, "We've been dating for weeks now, and he'd feel bad because I hid it from him." When I ask her, "If that was the case, why didn't you just tell him in the beginning? Why would you hide it from a friend?" she isn't able to answer me.After enough nagging, she finally tells him. He acts kinda passive-aggressive towards her on chat. Few days later, he asks to hang out. While talking to her, he starts crying because "you haven't been texting me these days, we rarely meet too" and "so you have enough time to get in a relationship but not enough to spend with me". That felt really manipulative to me. What kind of friend does that?I tell her, "This dude does things for you that no normal friend would do, he hasn't ever been in a relationship either, I'm like 99% sure that he likes you". She denies it. She says that she had doubts about that too, but that's not the case.I tell her that I'm not comfortable with her hanging out with this dude one-on-one. It's fine if there's another mutual friend present. She agrees to it, but she doesn't ever stick to her word.This one time, she was supposed to go on a 2-week vacation with her family. The day before she leaves, I ask her to meet up, but she refuses because "I have something planned with that dude". I get pissed at her and leave her on read. She panics and leaves him midway to see me.
(contd.)Another time, we are supposed to go on a drive. She says she's gonna go meet this dude for a while. I say, "Fine, whatever." She texts me, "I'll be there in 15 minutes." Then, she doesn't text me for a whole 45 minutes. I get worried, thinking that something might've happened to her. Turns out, she was just there talking to him and had forgotten to text me that she was gonna be late. She always forgets to text me when she's with him.She once tells him, "My boyfriend really hates you," which made me feel bad because it came across as her saying, "Hey, my boyfriend doesn't like me hanging out with you, but I still do, teehee."This one time, she says to me that I am immature. When I ask her why, she says, "It's like I have to tell you to do certain things, and you don't really feel dependable like that." She says it's fine, though, and that I'll learn soon. When I ask her who she felt she could depend on, she mentions her female best friend and this guy.There's this one other time when we were having a fight. When we are on call later, she tells me that a parcel of hers was stuck in delivery. Apparently, when she mentioned this to him, he made a single phone call and got the issue resolved. She says that he's so dependable like that. I might be reading too much into it, but it felt like a jab at me.What should I do? To me, it feels clear that he has a thing for her and she refuses to acknowledge it for whatever reason. I know it's not insecurity speaking on my end because she has other male friends who aren't weird about her like that. Is this something worth breaking up over?
I don't care what anybody says: your bitch should not have any male friends. Least of all a "besty" who is obsessed with her. I understand you've been coached and psy-opped into believing that putting your foot down over this makes you "insecure" or something, but you just can't allow any of it. It's quite possible you will have to drop the bitch and find a new one because the bar has been set in a manner here that may be insurmountable
>>35020795>Another time, we are supposed to go on a drive. She says she's gonna go meet this dude for a while. I say, "Fine, whatever." She texts me, "I'll be there in 15 minutes." Then, she doesn't text me for a whole 45 minutes. I get worried, thinking that something might've happened to her. Turns out, she was just there talking to him and had forgotten to text me that she was gonna be late. She always forgets to text me when she's with him.she fucked himit's over
Wannabe porn game devs literally use this board to practice their NTR game plots and judge the quality by what percent of replies say it's cheating divided by how many people say it's LARP to find the ideal ratio of pain to realism.
>>35020789Wow, you really are being an asshole about this; I'm not surprised she calls you immature. You are probably right that he likes her, but it is even more clear that she DOESN'T like him, so why the fuck does it matter? There is no chance whatever that she's going to cheat on you with this guy, but if you keep being a dick about it, that might actually push her into cheating on you with somebody else.
>>35020861You are an unmitigated retard or you're baiting
>>35020814I feel bad at the idea of doing that because we are each other's first relationship. It feels like something worth preserving. This one time i tried to imply that I might leave her, she guilt tripped me with "are you really gonna leave me after taking my virginity away?". I dont know what to do. I don't think she cheated on me or something, just feel disrespected
>>35020844that's pretty wack. pretty sure it's just bots trained on reddit stories that post here testing if they get a reaction or not for whatever reason.
>>35020789as soon as a girl says she has "a male friend", i automatically block her. dont ever fall for that shit. dump that whore
people will call you controlling or a psychpath or obsessed. its none of those. they know it. we know it.dump the bitch and find a nice girl with self respect
>>35020795I think she might be hung up on the thought that confronting that he likes her head on might make everything worse and that placating him just enough and using him to do shit for her is easier than cutting him off.Like okay she stops hanging out with him but that doesn't really get rid of him he just sends her angry whiny texts instead of doing stuff for her. Sometimes you end up regretting telling a "friend" where you live. What you need to do is get him to admit it. Once it's spoken she can't feign ignorance any more and HAS to do something about it.
>>35020844You're right, this is so sad. NTR people are fucking brown and Indian and they're just masturbating while making these posts, or it's a clanker doing it for them>>35020789>>35020795In case you're not a clanker, I'd find me a girl best friend and turn her into my gf. THEN leave your current girl. Not the other way around. Act from safety not from bad
>>35020814Based
As someone who tried to be “tolerable” and not controlling and let my ex have 2-3 close guy friends, sometimes you gotta learn the hard way. I wish I didn’t
>>35020789She is keeping him as a backup and giving him just enough bait so he doesn't leave, and he is sorta pathetic enough that he is probably in love with her. All in all, an awful pattern. I come from a cultural background where if your partner is not comfortable with someone of the opposite gender being close to you, you respect your partner and that person disappears from your circle entirely. So if the bitch won't make him go away, you should leave, but I'm single and autistic and can't be bothered to put up with this kind of crap in relationships, so take my advice with a grain of salt.
>>35021474>just feel disrespectedHow, exactly?
>>35021811to add - what you do have going for you is that she considers you the higher value male compared to him, otherwise you wouldn't be in the picture at all, but that doesn't change the fact that she is a scheming slut. There is one more thing you could do if you really want to try and preserve this relationship, and that would be to turn the dynamic in your favor, find a girl "friend" who you are obviously flirting with and keeping as backup, and make it clear to the bitch that you are "just friends", and that there is "nothing to worry about", use all her arguments against her. If she is genuinely dumb enough to not understand how the presence of this guy is making you feel, this might make her understand, but honestly that just gives you bad karma, and the new girl will likely be hurt if she understands she is being used as a prop, you would just get down on the bitch's level of playing games. Hopefully you learned a lesson in this, that the majority of (straight) relationships have a deep power-play dynamic going on, and you should be on the dominant side from day one, instead of letting a woman push your buttons.
>>35020789You certainly are an insecure little man, aren't you?
You never EVER have to play second fiddle to another man. Don't let people gaslight into thinking its wrong to set boundaries and demand the respect you deserve. There can only be one rooster in the hen house another roster walking in there trying to get hen pussy is getting fucked up. Respect isn't a virtue to women, they place no value in respect. She don't even know what respect means in any real sense. I can guarantee this guy inherently knows hes disrespecting you by crossing lines, stepping on your toes trying to compete for a women commited to you. You know hes violating and he knows it. Experience has taught me the best thing you can do in these situations is to threaten to beat his ass. Its the only way to get a man to move on from your gf. Dont involve her and confront this guy directly. Look him in the eye and tell him in no uncertain terms he better back the fuck off if he knows what's good for him and values his safety. If he pushes back and trys the tough guy act. Knock him in his head a few times. Dont get carried away and hospitalize him, just put him ib check. He'll back the fuck up once he knows they'll be consequences coming his way. It takes two to tango though and dont ler her off the hook completely immature and selfish your girlfriend would entertain a guy in front of you making you look stupid. Dont let another man walk all over you trying to take her . If he pushes back at you after telling Beat the crap out of him if it comes down to it.
Giving her a taste of her own medicine would seems immature in this situation, but I would try it if I were you. Do you have any female friends?
>>35020789The guy def likes her but sounds like hes too awkward to do anything about itYour gf likes having him hovering there as a backup option for her, this is normal, girls do this all the time and its kinda evilFrom what I can tell she's manipulating both you and the other guy. You are being manipulated, you feel disrespected because you are. She's acting up and youre letting her get away with it, youre threatening to leave and she guilt trips you into staying. She's in controlIm willing to bet shes keeping you around until she can find someone better than you and jump over to that person. Maybe keep you hovering around as a backup option then too.You really oughtta just find someone else and then dump herYou sound young, sorry if this seems cruel, a lot of women do this shit. If you want respect you always gotta be comfortable walking away, ans you csnt let women get away with acting up. If you tell them to do something and they dont do it, you gotta call it out and put them in their place. Sounds like she's been shit testing you and you've been failing them.
>>35021858Whore detected
>>35020789This "dude" is probably her real bf. You are just her backup. Classic low t simp question.
>>35020795>>35020789People on this thread are missing the point. It doesn't seem like she's fucking this guy at all, she has no respect for him. OP got it right: he is an orbiter and your gf has been using him has her servant for a few years. She was reluctant to say that you're her boyfriend because she knows that she won't be able to use this guy anymore, or not as easily, once the implicit contract between them is broken. He does stuff for her like driving her around, paying for things, cooking, etc and in return she acts like they might have sex one day. This is a super common arrangement between women and simps. She couldn't explain it to you because there is no good way to explain "I'd like to ideally keep this guy on standby because he's useful and he won't stick around if he knows I have an exclusive BF".My advice, if she's older than 21 just break up, unless you want to pursue a relationship with a girl that will be mentally 15 for the rest of her life. If you want to stay then you absolutely need to stop giving a fuck about this guy, the last thing you want is for her to see you as being on his level. Any jealousy you have will be leveraged by her to force you to do things. So you must be sure to target the guy, not her. Display clearly she's your BF and you fuck her, so the guy sees it and find another women to orbit. That is how such women work, personally I wouldn't bother and go for someone mentally mature, but the choice is yours.
>>35020795>She once tells him, "My boyfriend really hates you,"reading no further. they're both manipulative. leave. you're gonna have 0 self-esteem left and hate yourself if you stay and this goes on for years.>t. F
>>35022298>>35022878This and this, OP. Both see the reality. >t. 40 oldfag seen too much shit
>>35022298>>35022878Facts. I used to think I had a girlfriend. She had an esimp who would pay for her shit. We ate on his money a few times. I tried to get her to cut that crap out, set an example and explained why it was wrong. She ends up using me for sex and emotional support until she got bored, and still went to see her ex behind my back. Who even knows how many other online orbiters she had. And she was fat. But every woman is like this now. Take what you can get, or get out. But don't be calling this girl your girlfriend, OP. She ain't yours. In fact it sounds like you're just another guy whose strings she knows how to pull. Words like "boyfriend" are just convenient tools for women to avoid giving pussy to simps. It doesn't mean shit and it doesn't stop her from cheating on you with the guy you DON'T know about, lol. Kick the hoe to the curb. Once these stressors start and it's only on your end, you wind up in a miserable one-sided relationship. You can't change a hoe
>>35020789Men and women cannot be platonic friends unless both are already in committed relationships with other people. He has feelings for her, he will eventually snatch her out from under you, they will go out for a while and then she will dump him too because she's a stupid whore, yes it happened to me and yes, I am speaking from experience.
>>35020789Hey OP, I'm an oldfag with exp under my belt. This won't end well, I suggest you dump her. I've seen the pattern play out before and have had it happen to me and seen it many times before with other couples. Your GF is a people-pleaser, a female doormat. She is neurotic and she feels everyone needs to have positive opinions about her. She hasn't learned that it is impossible to appease everyone. And by trying to please everyone, she appeals to no-one. She has no idea how to form and stick to priorities. She most likely doesn't even know what those are or how to apply them. She has no boundaries, if she had them she would tell the clingy orbiter to back off when he was trying to guilt trip her. Judging by her behaviours that you cited I don't think she is attracted to him. He is weak, needy, and comes off as effeminate which is natural pussy repellant. However because your GF is most likely a neurotic people pleasing doormat she is still going to feel compelled to placate him because she feels responsible for other people's feelings to the point she's a bit mentally unsound. I don't think she is going to fuck him. But she is most likely going to do something stupid like get drunk and reciprocate something forced onto her like a kiss from the needy simp who may take a opportunity to fire his shot into her.If you insist on keeping this girl, which I highly suggest you don't, you need to escalate into vague aggression where you confront this guy and tell him that him bothering your relationship is not in the best interests of his physical safety. You politely tell him you will beat the shit out him if he doesn't fuck off and get his own life. I highly doubt not recommend it because Simp orbiters are the type to cry to the cops.Your GF isn't wife material or mother material. If you had kids with her, and a pervert tried to get in her good graces to molest your kids, your GF is the type to turn a blind eye in case she offends the predator. I'd dump.
>>35022990>ContinuedAnd if you dump, you need to make it cold and clean and give her no room to talk it out. She has proven to you time and again that you cannot take her at her word. Trust was already violated when she agreed to abide by your concerns and she went ahead and broke them anyway. Which tells you that your confidence in her means less to her than the opinions of outsiders. She also opens the door to the relationship to outsiders, such as telling the orbiter what you had confided in her. Your relationship is no longer you + her. It is now you + her + the feelings of the orbiter. And it was she who dragged them into the relationship. And she was able to skirt around your complaints by agreeing with you (people pleasing you) and then her actions do the opposite of what she said she would honor.Meaning she cannot even be trusted to have a goodbye talk, because she will undoubtedly try to make more empty superficial promises that she will break later. So dump her, and dump her in a flash.
