In my early twenties and I want little out of life. I don't have any desire or motivation. I have no friends and don't want any, few hobbies, a boyfriend sounds nice in theory if he was almost an exact male version of me but I doubt someone like that exists and I don't think I feel sexual attraction. I'm not happy but not unhappy, my small joys come from little things like nice meals. I can make myself a little motivated to do something with my life by imagining myself eventually having a sweet Disneylike romance with a guy and me being stylish and us spending our days happily together but that's it. My motivation comes from unrealistic fantasies. Everything I do is coloured by an immense cynical down to earth mindset, where I am aware I am just a bit of a loser and will never be anything else. Everything in my mind is stripped down to its gritty bare minimum, and I don't know how to fix this mindset. I can't explain it well but I can't view anything as anything other than its base. I see people romanticising their lives and I think 'why are you taking yourself so seriously? Why are you doing so much for such small things? Why?' and I cringe and resent them for wasting their energy and time. I could never view myself as someone to be taken seriously, I am aware I am a little retard so I should not try to step above my post and should only just laugh at myself and this attitude is present in everything. TLDR: Everything is shit to me. I have no motivation and cannot view myself as anything other than my base. How to have a more positive and serious outlook?
>>35021025I find it extremely hard to articulate this so here is my attempt at a better example:Imagine everyone is a cookie. Most people are vibrant cookies with lots of toppings, frosting, decorations, and so. I am a plain cookie. I look at the decorated cookies like they are a different species, I used to resent them for being frosted and decorated when I was little and unable to replicate their topping but now I feel nothing. I am aware that, hypothetically, there is nothing stopping me from becoming a sparkly frosted cookie too and I yearned for that in the past as a child but I just can't. The mental block is too strong. I'm all too aware that parts of me are crumbling, and to be honest I think the frosted cookies look a bit ridiculous. I come to like myself but a lot of why I like me is because I have learnt to laugh at my flaws and a lot of my self love comes from me going against the grain and embracing being a crumbling plain cookie in a world of frosted cookies (so, a bit shit.). But when it comes down to it, the crumbling tasteless cookie knows that it's bad that it's so unappetising despite not hating itself and a lot of the cookie's motivation to get up out of bed is thinking of the future and person you envisioned being as a child even if part of you is questioning if you even really like version of yourself you dreamed of being as a child or if you're just nostalgic.This is a really, really bad analogy and still doesn't encapsulate what I'm trying to say but I honestly can't put this into words I'm sorry.
>>35021054>Imagine everyone is a cookie.I find it difficult to do that, anon.
>>35021025i put actual effort into solving a captcha so i can give you my discord @silversstuffim not gonna give u a cookie analogy or anything, you just seem a little like me, and i kinda want someone to write with for my boring nightshift tonight. So add me back.
>>35021025You'd be surprised, I'm a 24 year old man and I don't know you but I truthfully don't feel like I really give much of a fuck about most things. I'm not happy or outright unhappy and I want very little out of life. I just don't care and I have no idea why. I have interests I pursue but in the grand picture it all doesn't matter to me. I'm not exactly proud of it... but its what I am. I don't feel depressed. I look respectable and normal from the outside but inside I'm a different beast. I don't long for many of the things others do. I don't care for love or relationships or sex. It's all inherently vapid to me and I'm tired of it.
