I told my friend of 3 year I liked them. She rejected me and desperately wants to stay friends. She messages me multiple times a week despite me saying I wanted space. I remember our friendship fondly, but don't want to orbit her and see her fuck other guys knowing I've got no chance.IRL people I've spoken to about it think it's kinda shitty to break it off because she clearly cares about me and to just distance for now. Am I just an asshole?
>>35021652We are all assholes. Do what is good for you.
You don't "be friends" with girls you want to fuck. Cut the bitch all the way off. You already spilled your heart out and she WILL further humiliate you if you keep being an orbiter simp
>>35021652You're not an asshole as long as you're still being courteous and kind with her.You likely will not be able to go back to the same level of intimacy or even close to it with her. That level of intimacy made you fall in love, and that pining is the natural result of that amount of closeness. You can be friends with her at a much greater distance, but you're right that staying as close as you were would cause problems.
>>35021652You are a useful emotional tool for herDo with that information as you will
>>35021652On of the many psychological differences between men and women is that women can reject you as a lover and still want to remain friends, while men think in all-or-nothing terms.Neither of you is "right" or "wrong." The question is how much you are trapped by your immediate emotional response.
>>35021825>>35021867Losing a friend would suck. It wouldn't be some big announcement, I'd just be a little more distant. Still polite; not ghosting.
>>35021937I think that's fine if it feels fine to you. Over time she'll adjust, probably.
>>35021652The way I see it, it makes my life worse to stay in touch with women I'm attracted to but who only see me as a friend. I will always, in some way, want to be with them romantically and sexually, and I can't really just take those feelings and shove them to the side without some degree of mental anguish. It also makes their life a little worse, because they want a friend and I can't provide that; once that's out in the open, I don't know why she would want to continue as friends.Is it kind of selfish and assholish? Yes, but that's okay. Taking some space to work through it is a good idea for everybody, it's just that, for me, I find it difficult to impossible to put my romantic intentions to the side even after I've had some time and space to work through things. Even if I start to see her as a friend in terms of her personal qualities, she's still going to be good-looking to my eyes.
>>35022140>The way I see it, it makes my life worse to stay in touch with women I'm attracted to but who only see me as a friend. I will always, in some way, want to be with them romantically and sexually, and I can't really just take those feelings and shove them to the side without some degree of mental anguish. It also makes their life a little worse, because they want a friend and I can't provide that.That's kinda my thought process: unless I fuck someone else anytime soon (unlikely with me) I'll always have some desire for her. Even as I felt like I was getting my life back, I played games with her last week thinking it was all good but fear I might be falling back into it.>>35022137Id like to think I could get over it. We were friends before this, maybe time is all I need but she makes that a little hard with the occasional check in and I don't wanna say "fuck off".
