How do people cut off their parents/old friends and move on with their life?I'm not trying to act like a spoiled kid here. My parents genuinely never try to protect me, trust me, or listen to what I say, even now. They don't even remember what I say, but they expect me to fully understand their side. I had to do well in school/college just to keep them from getting involved, because every time they get involved in anything, it gets bad really fast. They also have no values, no friends, and have cut ties with family members, so it's not like I'd lose much without them.My friends just feel like a bunch of random, unmotivated people I have to mask around, and I genuinely don't enjoy spending time with them in most cases. Most of them just used me as a cheap worker to fix their shit for free, without even pretending they call or invite me for anything else.I used to have a best friend who, unfortunately, passed away from suicide. When I had that friend in my life, I didn't notice how miserable everything around me actually was. My parents didn't care about that friend dying, by the way. They tried to treat the death of someone I knew for half my life (and had plans for the future with) as nothing important, saying I "cared too much." I didn't try to ask them for anything, but they didn't offer to help me visit the friend's family who lived far away so I could talk to them (they felt pretty horrible, and it seemed like I was one of the very few friends their kid had).I said all of this just to give a better view of my surroundings. I want to leave it all behind, but I don't know how. Maybe it's some "autism" thing I have (not a literal one), but I literally don't know where to start
this is the easiest thing in the world, just become a workaholic
Bad fast how
>>35028359why
>>35028367what do you mean whyto suit your requestdo you mean how?>person you want brings up some bullshit you don't want to deal with"sorry, i'm working"
>>35028352Law 10 of the 48 Laws of Power:INFECTION: AVOID THE UNHAPPY AND UNLUCKYYou can die from someone else’s misery—emotional states are as infectious asdiseases.The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune onthemselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy andfortunate instead. Cutting family off is one of those life decisions that you'd better be 100% prepared for, OP. I did it five years ago and never looked back. I was born into a family with a disabled brother who think's he's a gangster and worships the Trailer Park Boys. This complete buffoon is doted on by my parents, who have moderate wealth and basically never made him work a day in his life. He is the textbook definition of malicious compliance and learned helplessness. Ask him to take out the trash? He'll whine and complain for forty five minutes, then get violent. When he does, he does it so incompetently that you end up spending more time correcting his mistakes. When I went to college, they gave subtle hints that I was "expected" to care for him, to be his live in servant. I had no interest. I realized if I was ever going to be happy, I had to strike it out on my own. So what did I do? I landed job halfway across the country and moved into a rented room.Be aware that if the family has any use for you, they will do everything in their power to get you back. My parents tried weaponizing the police, freezing accounts, calling my new work, etc. for about a year. It was a hassle. So hewre's what I would tell you.1: You pick a single method for contact. I recommend some form of text, so that any bullshit they pull can be brought up in court. Yeah, it can get that ugly. If they call, you don't answer. The only way you respond is via email or letters.2: If you plan on moving, let your local police know your parents might try some shit.3: Finances. Have a plan. Have a job. If you share the same bank, close the account and make a new one at another bank.
Well, then I think it's worth mentioning that my family itself is divorced (it's always been like this) with a dad who's here, he didn't like run away, but he's sort of weak, not so smart, very naive, but mostly chill if medicated. But my mother is just a textbook definition of bpd (there's a reason she was divorced twice, and I think she will do it for the 3rd time as well).So I live with my dad who doesn't mind me being a bit of a neet right now, but it's not really a life. My mom definitely sounds like what you described, she'd ask me for an address of where I will be, people I talk to, and she'd often tell me that she'll send me to a psych ward during arguments (over nothing btw, like me accidentally falling asleep with lights on).I have my own bank account, but I wouldn't use it for storing money anywayI'm prepared only in a way that I don't mind sleeping in cars, eating once a day and having bare minimum of needs overall. It's not like I have a luxury life here with my family. They refused to pay for my teeth or for other stuff that I have to fix related to my health (not cosmetic).I think sms will work fine for communication. I'm just afraid that she can start calling a few IRL friends that I have and try to gaslight them into some BS.Seems we have a similar situation with our brothers, because she tried to do something similar with me and my brother who is from a different dad and kinda not so smart, and she expected me to deal with my own school/college stuff and help him with everything, meanwhile I clearly saw that he didn't care and would just wait for me to do all the work for him. I solved it by moving to my dad during college though.I think the quote is right, in a way. I feel that if I had more examples of functional people in front of me, it'd be easier to make moves like this
>>35028504meant to be a reply to>>35028469
>>35028352Delete Facebook. Move away. It's very common for people to go have a career and work and not see their family just go do it and don't feel bad about it. I am better for cutting off one parent and would have done 1000% better if I cut of the other one but I have too much pity for a disabled elderly person with no other family so it nobly weighs me down. I would advocate just leaving over what I did.
>>35028352stop talking to your parents, stop listening. just ignore them. dont cut the friends off, just stop talking to them and tell them youre busy and you cant hang out. they might be useful down the road
