i wish i was less unpleasant to be around
i don’t enjoy constantly driving people away

Turns out the blower had a ground short. Bastard tried telling me it was just a bad battery and relay.

>>35028428
If I was in Germany, I would have shagged that insecure ginger girl.
I feel comfortable saying it here, because if I did I wouldn't tell a soul and hold my head in shame

>>35028428
whats next on gioyc?
will mike finally win maria back from colton? will the narc schizo get arrested again and blame the victim? will tammy and derek be stopped once and for all?

>>35028458
Nothing will happen

>>35028428
I want (You)

>>35028481
No (You) don’t

Someone I'm talking to for the past few days asked if I still used 4chan then I remembered me going on these threads.
I'm over the people I lost and am mainly living in the real world now. It's really sad.

>>35028428
I have insane yellow fever. I love chinese phenotypes so much and think of everyone else like fat women - they exist but you never think about them.

>>35028512
Yes I do

With each day of silence and distance, my feelings for you die a little more. I'm seeing things more clearly now.

I'm sorry for hurting you so much. Not to think too deep about it or anything, but if the chance ever comes that you read this (probably never which is why I'm comfortable saying it) I'm sorry for everything I said and did to make you feel horrible about yourself. I can be a worthless piece of shit sometimes, and if I could ever talk you again it would only be to say sorry. It hurts me, but I'm sure it hurts you much more, equally, or less. I am sorry though. I really am. Just a coward it seems. But I'm getting better and hope you are too.

You're an incredible person and you really helped me out of a low point in my life, which is why it hurts so much more. It would be so much easier if I could hate you, but I can't. When it mattered most you showed up, you just never showed up ever again. I guess I'm disappointed in you, but that disappointment is rooted in the knowledge that you could be so much more, and that one-time glimpse of the real you underneath it all is why it's so hard to let go.

I'll always be here if you need me.

It would all be a lot easier with a brunette in my lap.

I will finally take charge of my life by taking my life. Once I've given life to the one who's drained mine.

I love him but he's not for me and I'm not for him. I tried to be but I cannot and it broke me.

>>35028638
I know we're not for each other, but please just go be yourself for someone else. You're too valuable to not be the perfect person for someone else, you just haven't found him yet.

YOU DONT KNOW ANYONE ON HERE. THE SOONER YOU REALIZE THAT AND GO OUTSIDE INDTEAD OF TRYING TO CONTACT "PEOPLE", THE BETTER.

Don't date women you meet on 4chan. Oh my god.

I'll claim you one way or another, you better watch that ass
I'm God's favorite after all

>>35028685
and you know you're the favorite how exactly?

>>35028691
I always get what I want

Someday, everyone loses interest, now, again.

>>35028698
is that so? what do you want? hmm?

The only thing more pathetic than your self centered larping is that I fell for it.

what???

>>35028701
I want my bitch back
My little lying cheating whore

>>35028707
oh, good luck with that.

With the blueprint you’ve given me, I know what I want. Thank you

>>35028651
Thank you but after all this time I've grown too attached to you to be able to live without you now. I've went along with everything cause I love you and I truly believed I'd love this life you've set us up for too. It's a nice life but I'm currently too broken to enter it without damaging it and anyone in it. And nobody will wait or ease me into it, not even you. It's okay.

I will gift you a piece of my body, and I will take my leave from this world. I hope you will both forgive me one day and I'm certain you will find someone with whom to have the life and family you want.

If there is even a kernel of something good in you, it's not something I can reach.

>>35028719
>>35028732
don't suicide bait on 4chan. please. talk to a friend. please

>>35028752
Not suicidal, and not the same anon. The other really should take a moment though. It will pass.

>>35028428
I'm outta care-gas.

>>35028719
Obviously we're not each other's person, but the girl I'm here for is someone I lost touch with because of both of our fuckups and I still worry about her a lot. She's full of limitless potential but I suspect she ties herself to her past mistakes too much and doesn't see how much she's worth. If I could tell her anything to her face, it'd be to go live and keep writing her story because it has a happy ending, with or without me in it.

>>35028732
Go away.

>>35028428
I wanna get my lipstick all over your face

>>35028428
I think I flew too close to the sun
Gotta tone it down a little

Not going to make any life changing decisions until after the holidays.

I'll just play it cool, not start any shit, just watching you

fuck you bitch, call me your best friend after playing with my feelings, I hope you get ghosted by the next hinge dates that fucks you just like before

>>35028834
its your own fault at this point

>>35028850
I guess I shouldn't have assumed the things that we did on my bed was a sign of interest.

>>35028834
I love making you regret losing me

Trust wounds cut deep. My stomach still sinks sometimes when I think about what you did, but I'm doing okay now. I'm forgiving both of us for myself, but know that I won't pretend like nothing ever happened.

I want you I want you I want you I want you

it's over.

>>35028458
I’m not expecting police to do anything about it unless my suspicions of imposters being utilized is true. I just want people to understand why we will not be getting along anymore and how much better my life will be if I had the opportunity to move out but there’s no way to do that until my trial is finished unless I agree to take drugs that I don’t need.

i always forget how much i hate talking to interesting women.

>>35028962
Tell them that, maybe?

>>35028992
She just did.

>>35028992
if even 1% of people could turn off their inhibitions like that we'd all be dead.

>>35028997
Why do you assume I'm a woman?
Are men not allowed to be pathetic?

>>35029022
You're right, that's my mistake.

>>35029024
are you a woman? it is acceptable for singular pronoun use to be aligned with the author when the gender of the subject is unknown

>>35029040
I'm male.

If Derek and Tammy do use imposters to fuck my head and my life up then I believe that the police probably already know about it.

>>35029045
then your post was sexist, which is also acceptable

>>35029063
Sure, Em. Sure.

>>35029063
He was sexist but he was also kinda right

Thought you switched your writing style, my fault.

>>35029075
You really think anybody you know would be posting here?

>>35029075
What a schizo night we're having

>>35029082
I don't know you, but I know you post on 4chan.
>>35029085
I'm usually alright with reading auras.

>>35029085
Always is, which is why it's so damn entertaining.

Sometimes it feels like you were sent to me
Others it feels like we were meant to be

>>35029089
>I'm usually alright with reading auras.
Crystal girl?

>>35029097
Nah, gawd, just said I'm a male.

Kinda miss her

>>35029102
if you're a male who can read auras you're a faggot
*mic drops*

>>35029120
You actually believe that too, probably because you got hate in your blood.

>>35029122
I actually have blood in my hate buddy retard

>>35029127
I hope it's AIDS blood.

>>35029128
Im straight so I wont have that problem
Unfortunately, I cant say the same for you

>>35029133
I saw that coming, like you do with men. We know you in the closet, trying to make niggas look gay.

>>35029135
Im a woman lol
See if you were straight you could have sensed that
To the conversion camp with you

>>35029142
Mostly men think only gay men could get AIDS, which is why I jumped to that. Idk which one of you is talking to me, honestly, and I don't care.

>>35029147
Lil schizo guy get cozy and go to sleep
Youre starting to leak

>>35029150
Please.

Why do I miss her

women who do not fuck niggers and faggots, do you worry about aids at all?

>>35029156
Yeah, answer this.

>>35029156
This is not atoga you fucking retard
>>35029151
What?

>>35029058
I feel like a lot of people are aware that something is wrong. I don’t know if things persist this way because people think I’m playing dumb or if they need more information or if they’re trying to spare other people from guilt.

>>35029161
Just please. Nothing else. If you love me, tell me you love me.

Apple fucked up the internet by forcing Tumblr to ban NSFW. The internet used to be more fun when Tumblr's userbase didn't shit up other sites.

>>35029169
Im probably not her anon
Why would you wanna her this from anybody but her?

>>35029152
You tell us

>>35029163
Or they put off addressing it because they know I will be homeless if Derek and Tammy are arrested and they think they’re helping even after I urge that it’s more important for it to be addressed. I don’t know.

>>35029181
It's a 50 Cent reference. I don't mean to tell you to tell me you're in love with me.

>>35029181
*hear
dammit

>>35029185
Oh my bad then

>>35029161
adv is really just one big how to get sex general. if you need help with anything else theres a board for it

>>35029184
who tf os derek and tammy

>>35029191
Hope you're okay though, huh. Hope life is going easy for you and all that, you know?

>>35029200
Thanks mister goody two shoes
Hope you fall and break your neck

>>35029183
I felt like I could say anything to her. She was clever, funny, smart, and didn’t lie or sugarcoat. Was brutal at times. I truly loved that woman

File: fuck.gif (2.22 MB, 498x415)

2.22 MB GIF

To this day, my dad insists that my elementary school teacher was a communist and he brainwashed us.
Funny thing is every year this teacher has this project where the students set up food stalls on the school sports court to sell items to our parents.
Basically, we had to organize supply chains to prepare the food and sell it, and the group that brought in the most revenue won. The idea was to give us a taste of the reality of being an entrepreneur.
So, some groups sold burgers, hotdogs, juice, etc.
Today, I found out that my dad actually confronted the teacher that day and called him a communist.
I asked him what part of the teacher's teachings was communism (he was a math teacher and he once made us watch the german movie Die Welle, because every semester a teacher got to choose a movie with "thought provoking messages")
He couldn't say anything. "I don't remember, but he was one!"
I then asked: "Am I a communist?"
He answered: "No, but you absorved most of the teachings"
So I'm a communist because I learned that selling good hotdogs at a reasonable price is hard and learned how to solve quadratic equations?
Sometimes I just can't with him. I feel like exploding and calling him a dumbass.
When he is questioned on his ignorance he uses the "I'm your father" trump card.
He legit spends his whole day on TikTok.
I get a little scared of the genetics running through my brain.

>>35029197
Allegedly the parents of Alexander Bochan who is allegedly me.

>>35029217
Why? What I do?

Don't think I didn't notice you walking in, realizing I was there, and promptly walking right back out. Why did you do that, though, I wonder?
Does my presence intimidate you that much or is remembering my face and how you've wronged me an attack on your psyche from realizing that you're not half as good of a person as you want to/make yourself out to be?
I'm content with either alternative, to be honest, both options have you being slapped in the face with how little of a person you really are.

>>35029237
You dont tip your landlord

>>35029253
Okay, why would I?

>>35029255
Because landlords struggle too
And theyre the backbone of society

>>35029257
Seriously? I don't think it's legal to 'tip your landlord'.

>>35029261
Lets continue this conversation some other time
Bye acoustic anon

>>35029220
Why didn't it work out then?

>>35029266
Bye, Em. Nice talking to you again.

>>35029267
She’s married

>>35029273
That's rough man, sorry to hear. Maybe she'll get divorced soon kek

>>35029286
Lol all good bro, it’s something to be left in the past

>>35029247
how did they wrong you?

what???

is it schizo hours right now?

>>35029389
Clearly

>>35029389
Yes, get your microwave popcorn ready.

>>35029347
Burnt bridges with me for some unknown reason and convinced a lot of mutual friends, some of whom I had known for years, to do the same, there's definitely a handful of people who, because of them, think I'm up there with Hitler and Satan in villainy.
Thankfully the real ones stuck around and I've met new people since, but that doesn't change how I was in a pretty bad spot for some time because of that and petty satisfaction is satisfaction nonetheless.

>>35029407
we barely care enough to ask. we're not going to track you down and rape your dog. give real details

>>35029389
It was always schizo hours

>>35029247
What's the tea sis

>>35029257
HA.

I don't like lying. Ever since I was kid I was raised as an honest person and I understand by principle why it's nice to be an honest person

But if it's to protect you from getting hurt any further I'm going to do it. I will throw away my principles. I'm going to pretend to be strong to give you the peace of mind. I will be doing it even if it's not me

Being an Irish Chad keeps me busy; planting potatoes, drinking rum, and listening to Danny Boy. I need to find a slag or fillie to have as my bangmaid, armchair therapist, and mother.

>>35029075
Schizo niggas flexin on the sane like

>>35029045
Shall I call you mista?

You don’t love me anymore? Well that breaks my heart, but it’s too fucking bad. You don’t gotta love me, but you will respect me

>>35029544
It would be funnier if a Mister was someone who creates the mist in a movie scene.

>>35029545
I can see why they don't love you anymore.

>>35029576
Good thing I was quoting the sopranos and it’s not actually how I feel
https://youtu.be/62mo4G_mhd0

>>35029500
>t. biggest fucking liar ever

>>35029556
Are you a transgender?

>>35029638
No, I just didn't know how to answer that.

>>35029590
someone has to shoot me irl with a shotgun then if anything that I typed there is false

Guess I just needed one more knife in the heart to get over you. Suppose I should thank you for that.

i really feel like i am not good at my job lately, i can't advance at anything and deadlines keep pilling on, i am just going to quit even if i can't get the same salary i am ok with another job

>>35029656
What about anything hurt you? Honestly, it feels like I'm just trying to walk and have electricity zapping whoever is near.

took me a week to start eating again, now all I'm craving is crispy spicy stuff

>>35028557
I feel like this is bait.

I take comfort in my m and I's truth of each other.

>I'll always love you and care about you
>No matter what
>You mean so much
>Yes
>You complete me
>I complete you
>I love you more

>You are the only home I have free of judgment and anything that will upset me

If you want, you can lay down, close your eyes, and live in that with me
You can wear my shirt

>I'm crying because I need you this argument is temporary but I'll always have that empty part needing you
>I am your home too

I need you too
We make each other whole
I was thinking about that earlier
No one has ever accepted me the way you do

>You are perfect

The best you can do is be there for me in your way

>That's good to hear I love you
>Lot
>You make things better
>Even when you aren't here, you do so much

>You are the only thing that matters now
>It's been like that for so long
>Nothing will ever change that

I want every part of you
I need your touch
I love you

>I hope I dream of you tonight
>I love you

>>35028705
at least you recognize coltons larping now.

>>35028557
Well, okay, where do you want to go from here? Completely your choice. You want me to what? Argue for you?

>>35029773
Then why is it so hard to let go?

>>35029793
>NTA (Obviously)
Attachment can bring up those kinds of feelings, it's a sunk cost situation. You don't want to feel like you've wasted your time, so you hold onto it.

>>35029793
Stop being retarded. Keep your promises to me. Fight for us. Show up. Follow through.

>>35029780
Up to you. I'm realizing you're not as special as I first thought, but you're free to try and convince me otherwise before I'm gone for good.

>at my car at skatepark
>boy asks me to help adjust his bmx
>get my toolbox
>fix it
First time being needed, and sorta talking to someone irl in a long time. Something as basic as that makes my heart feel defrosted a bit. Like the grinch, I could sense a need to sigh fade

I saw myself starting to behave and look like an adult. Sorta slow and caught up in a few details kids don't care about nor consider

I want a family, and don't really want a mixed race son (all my past gfs have been chinese)

>>35029810
Yikes, I see why she left.

>>35029845
My intention was never to convince you that I'm special. I'm just as human as you. If you don't want that, then I can't give you what you want. I'm sorry for wasting your time. I'm not for you, I guess. You are such a strong girl, so you have every right to feel how you feel. You want something from me that I can't give you over the internet and we cannot meet in person.

Bros, my foreskin is crazy swollen. Might actually go to the hospital if this doesn't resolve sooner rather than later. Also need to fap really badly, but I don't want to aggravate the situation.

But I stood up and faced another round

>>35029862
Your narc narrative doesn't define us.
Only her and I are each others truth.

>I won't lose you * I know that, I won't allow it
>You're the best, perfect for me
>I'm so lucky
>That's good to hear love you,
>Lots
>You make things better
>Even when you aren't here, you do so much
>I love you more
>I promise it will be * and * on the beach someday
>You have to wait for me

I love you with all my heart and I will wait as long as you need

>>35030006
You want to walk away. I would fight for you, but it seems you're in a path to hating me. I can do whatever and it wouldn't change the inevitable. I cannot control others' feelings.

I can trust her and follow through with our promises. I can keep my heart and know her for who she is, just as when we last were together. That's what defines us. Each other. I keep faith in us.

>>35030046
Maybe if you keep shitting up 4chan she’ll come back

>>35029971
ask mike he knows a thing or two about swollen dicks

give me another chance give me another chance give me another chance give me another chance

>>35028428
Wheres the money? Why didn't NFCU stop the fraud when I reported it to them? Why did you all keep me in that boring apartment for dozens of years? What the fuck was the point of all this dumb bullshit if you were just going to impoverish me in this shit hot town?

>>35030054
Maybe if she stops shitting up 4chan she spends her hours of obsession with me actually with me.

>>35028638
Little one, please don’t. I need you. I want you. I love you. I’m not mad. I’m worried.

I had visions of you dying the whole way there. Even at work. It’s agonizing. You can hate me but at least be ok. Please be ok. Hate me if you must.

Bah. It’s not you. You don’t care. You’ve decided. Labelled me, and I’ll only ever be that label, and a wallet, right? Not a dad, or a lover, or a protector. Just a narrative device.

i know i'm just a big as a fag for complaining about it and not ignoring it, but holy crap your performative male posts you share are driving me insane. you don't have to constantly share how you're this "soft boi woman lover" and "whimsy and silly guy who loves sanrio and cute stuff" to get a specific woman's attention. it comes off as desperate and disingenuous and women can see that.

I love you. you're my friend, but for fucks sake is this sudden behavior really gay. It didn't work the first time and it won't work the second. I've already told you

Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where you spend a lot of time with a person of the opposite gender, you work together for example. You hit it off, start talking and over time you notice you get along very well. Over even more time you start to develop feelings for that person and you can tell they have feelings for you too. You know they're married, but you're not, you know you don't want them to cheat or you to be the person they cheat with, but you still have those feelings because its not something you wanted to actively develop, but something that happen and you decide to let these feelings die out over time, but it sucks to feel that way.

Is this cheating? I feel like to an extent it is, but its not really something you can control, in that situation either straight up avoiding that person actively or changing jobs is the only solution, but sometimes its not an option. It also starts off just with talking and having to spend time together and the result of that isn't something you planned, but it happens regardless. People call that emotional cheating, which already sounds bad enough, but this part is involuntary, going out of your way to actually do something with that person, kiss or have sex with them, crossing that "line", is voluntary and is still considered cheating, its obviously worse but one leads to another and I'm just wondering about this and how bad you should feel for developing those feelings to begin with...

>>35030077
How many more do you need? Come now.

sShut up

Don't you just love it when you become the target of a manager's anger?
I forgot how to do the prep labels and I usually just focus on doing shit at work if it's directly asked of me. As such, for over a month, I didn't do it because I thought it was fine
But then this bitch just says that I could take over at any time and I said, Oh sorry, I don't know how
And then she takes that as me trying to weasel my way out of work and says fine i guess you don't want to do it and i could go over it again for you even though i already taught you
And then she tries "dropping hints" (which is what "good people" say to cover up their petty, passive aggressive comments) whenever she wanted something for the rest of the shift. She's also the type to talk shit about people behind their backs, so I know she's saying shit about how retarded i am and such
And for some reason right after she starts complaining about how she got cussed out by a superior at another store yesterday
Like bitch I'm glad you did, you probably deserved it too
Don't fucking make me your dumping ground when I'm stuck with you for five hours
You want something from, then how about you drop the bullshit "politeness" pretenses and use that authority you have and just boss ne around. Fucking reminds me of my obnoxious shitass family god damn
Of course, I have to shut my mouth and only speak when necessary. Only give canned, generic responses lest i get fired from an otherwise easy job because i rightfully wanna crashout on some bitch who brought her bitterness to work

>>35030302
Still whining about getting caught abusing your gf?

>>35028428
I jerked off to gay porn, I couldn't cum and was so frustrated. I put on some gay porn and it seemed to excite me enough to cum. After I felt immense shame and depression. I crushed my hand in a 20 ton press to make sure I don't jerk off anymore, or open jars, or doors or put my socks on easily.

>>35030331
I don't think having a crush on a coworker you're close with is emotional cheating. I would pull away and keep conversations short for a while so you can cool off and see things more clearly. It sounds like your guilt is driving you toward making things awkward.

I might be really checked out, honestly.

>>35028428
Please let me have the ability or opportunity for time travel.

I won't stop or start major historical events or interfere with life and death.
I won't save Abraham Lincoln.
I won't kill Adolf Hitler.
I won't steal inventions or plagiarize art.
I won't try to make myself god emperor of the universe.

I just want to fix my mistakes. My cowardice and confusion has ruined my life. Please. Help me help myself. Give me a second chance.

>>35030418
You couldn't kill Hitler if you tried. He was not a man, he was divine. Travel back to when your retarded parents were conceiving you and push your gay dad off before he cums. Then you can disappear into the never was.

>>35030422
>You couldn't kill Hitler if you tried. He was not a man, he was divine.
Then why did he die, you silly goose?

>>35030428
He never died, he lives on in my heart.

>>35030428
I killed him, it might have been later in his life, but he died.

Déjà vu

Not even real estate agents could help me find my place...

>>35030331
Emotional cheating is stupid. You're either cheating or not.
Invented by the crowd that considers porn to be cheating?

I'm still planning to kill myself on Christmas. I'll buy a gun when my parents are in Istanbul and blow my brains out on Christmas Day.

If I make this hike I've got planned that might change, but if I fail it twice after traveling across the planet to do it twice that will be the last straw. I will spend the rest of my holiday showering my friend with gifts and doing the bare minimum work to pay my bills, play WoW Forever and then die on Christmas.

I won't leave a note, I won't need to, they'll get it. I won't do it IN the condo or the car, they need to be able to sell the things, but I'll sit on a bridge and blow my brains out there, maybe fall back and kersplat and really do the deed. It will be great, and I can get on with not being again, and not worrying about all these times I've fucked up over and over and all the other fuckups I'd make going forward. I'd be free. And if I have to go to Hell for this, then God's not worth worshipping for he made a gay system of evil and said 'you gotta live in it even if you fuck up and want out fuck you my rules' fuck you oh big scary man you're just dad, you're just drunk and angry dad and you said the best son's the one who dies in the worst way to make you happy

Now if I get over this set of hills in Japan after covering every situation this time, I'll have reason to keep doing things but I don't want to keep going if I still can't.

>>35030451
>If I make this hike I've got planned that might change, but if I fail it twice after traveling across the planet to do it twice that will be the last straw. I will spend the rest of my holiday showering my friend with gifts and doing the bare minimum work to pay my bills, play WoW Forever and then die on Christmas.

It sounds to me like you know how to enjoy life. Why not just keep pursuing things that make you happy?

>>35030468
Because I'm not happy I'm fat and alone and I never found a job that fit beyond barely sustenance delivery gigs in Doordash and my parents don't respect it and I still have to impress them for whatever finance they've got and I don't but I need to and I'd rather just be dead and not think about any of this.

>>35029268
Im not Em
Get your meds anon <3

I only heavily drink to fight with boredom. It doesnt work but maybe one day it will.

Don't mistake my attention, how I keep my promise to you as something it's not. Don't mistake what being provided and cared for means. You seem to write a narrative based on insecurities and fears, not the truth. Listen and see me. Ive told you the truth, i do love you and I want to give you whatever you desire, what makes you happy, where you never feel guilty for eating, Don't feel guilty for wanting things. With me, you don't have to earn the right to be taken care of.

You just have to be here and be yourself. I love you for you, who you truly are. I want to feel you, find pleasure in the parts of you that are foreign to me, to experience the rest of you.

I look forward to when you come home, where the silence is instead the sounds we make as your body learns mine. The way you bite your lip as I bite your neck. The way you feel home.

Take a minute to look at the threads made on this board. Look at the narrative they push to harm us.

Do better. Choose us. Communicate directly so we can be done with this trash.

File: GIOYC IRL.jpg (122 KB, 1080x1080)

122 KB JPG

I wish GIOYC featured more images

It's not even just a pattern of behaviors done on impulse. It's value-deep, your rot, and you defend it violently. Your "right" to yell, punish and attack as you see fit, stomp around to "show you're mad," that your anger is the only one justified, your perspective, feelings, definitions, to be the only truth. I'm no longer convinced that that's something changeable. You don't want to, anyways. I realize the part of you that was safe and sweet was a lure, something you had to force. Unnatural, unsustainable. And that I had filled in the gaps in what I knew about you with, to me, logical kindnesses and empathizes and understandings in kind. I'm grieving that part anyways, even if he was half made from my own desires. He would be holding me now, calming strokes free of pressure and obligation. He would have hated you.

Dangerous and damaging. Maybe if it were just to me, I could have stuck it out a few more years aha, but I've got things to protect, things that need love. It hurts.

Whenever I have to do something, anything, even if its just hanging out with my friends, hours before I have to do it I get so anxious about it. I wasn't always like that, I used to just do it without thinking before, only got anxious before bigger, more serious things but now it just somehow got so much worse and I can barely bring myself to do things I like or things that are relatively low stress, I don't even want to think about the potential job interview I might have in the coming weeks. Its just this feeling in my stomach, like I need to be on my toes, looking out what might happen, it stops me from ever doing anything until that thing I need to do that makes me anxious is done. I hate this feeling, the anticipation of the worst, theres no way to get rid of it. I went to therapy, but that was no help so after a few months I stopped. Got on antidepressants but that just made it 10% better, but it made me feel numb to everything else, even good feelings. I'm on these anti anxiety meds now but I don't think they do anything and even if they did I can only take them for 2-3 months tops doctor said. I feel hopeless and the worst thing is that I don't know where its coming from. I used to be so social and outgoing at some point in my life and I thought that keeping that up will just make it stay that way, then covid hit and since then I just haven't been able to recover, its been 6 years now and now I can't even bring myself to go outside to a shop because I get panic attacks, every time, its exhausting...

I wish you would disappear from our lives. I want us to feel safe. Need to. But you'll never let us go, will you? You'll do anything just to punish me for leaving, even using her as a tool to control and harm me.

I miss "my" you...

>>35028428
Day 1 of manifesting you back into my life

>>35030619
Sounds like a you problem. You’re paying the karmic debt. I’m glad that person exists and even if they perish, your guilty conscience remains. Ha!

>>35030600
Uses my words, so clearly connected. Question is , is this written to colton? Or is it bait?

If it's written to colton. She's right. I do hate him. Garbage manipulative lying narc. We lost years together because of his lies and harm he caused us. I hope we are almost through this and together so we never have to deal with him ever again in our life.

im so lonely

>>35030619
Either an attempt to larp as me or colton is narcing out and making shit up to manipulate her more.

>>35030624
>I miss my "you". I didn't write the post so I assume this is maria saying she misses my mike.

>>35030667
Not clear who is being written about. Paying karmic debt makes me feel she now knows what colton did to us and he is cut out or being cut out.

>I’m glad that person exists and even if they perish, your guilty conscience remains. Ha!

Not sure who that's referring to.

To me it looks like colton tried to larp as me in one or multiple of those posts. Not quite clear with how it's written.

All I can do is trust her over his lies and attempts made for me to change perception of her.

My MoonYouAre so special to me,

remember how we fulfill each other in every way? mirrored hearts.

With true love, equality is a balance complete in each other.
>You're perfect for me
>I'm so lucky
I'm not a perfect person, but I'm perfect for you.
You're not a perfect person, but your perfect for me

I have hurt every day since feeling that part of me where you are missing. I miss you in every way. It's been 5years and I'm still here keeping my promise to you, never giving up on you.

I pray every day for God to guide us home to each other, to live the life he made us.

Dream good dreams
Remember, I love you

With all of my heart.

All it takes to feel at peace is to dwell with you for a bit. I hear your voice and everything is okay again, even if just for a bit.

>Thank you, you're really sweet and I love you
>You're the best, perfect for me
>I'm so lucky
>That's good to hear love you,
>Lots
>You make things better
>Even when you aren't here, you do so much
>If it takes me being selfish because I want all of you then that's just how it will be
>Exactly. I love you and I want to be the best for you
>I do all those things naturally for you
>I'm only yours,
>I love only you
>I love you more

You miss me but kept trying to and did change me. Everything you said you liked about me, my leadership, my protectiveness and possessiveness, my ability to provide. You hated all of it once we got married. Tried to dominate me, undercut me at every turn. I was willing to meet you halfway, to compromise, you werent.

>you’re not just what you provide
>I love you for you not what you’ve done for me

Yeah right, abandoned, betrayed, left to rot with my arm outstretched to you despite it all.

And you know, I still don’t hate you. I still want to help, but you really never let me. It was ironic given that you were so open at first, maybe because you had no other choice but to be given your circumstances at the time. But when we actually got together you stopped trusting me, well before the reasons you gave as to why. It wasn’t and isn’t fair. The one you claim to love and long for is still here, you just won’t receive him when he comes to you.

I forgive you, and you don’t have to forgive me. I’ll be kind and gentle, like I said, I learned more about your condition, this isn’t entirely your fault, and you had some legitimate grievances. I am sorry for the pain I caused you, I don’t wish to add to it. The one who loves me, runs to me and hugs me, please don’t rip her away from me next time, or get inbetween our bond. A little girl needs a father or she grows up unstable. I know you love her, but what you’re doing is wrong. You can hit me again if you want, I’m ok with that if it helps you. But this is too much.

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Sometimes I feel a great feeling of exhaustion, I really want absolutely nothing, I dont really want to be somebody, I dont really want to have any specific thing, I dont have a goal or a dream, I am largely okay with being single and I dont really want a family, I have a few people that I maybe can call friends and hanging out with them is enough of a social interaction, I enjoy learning and I study several subject of choice in my free time, but its not like im passionate about any of them. Sometimes I want to just not exist, to disappear along with every memory of me and sometimes I am afraid that one day I will be gone. Very strange.

>I still don't hate you
I've read and heard enough of you saying otherwise

You fuckers got me sick. Thanks a lot

>>35030331
I have your answer right here. And it's objective too. You should try to see and gauge if she's happy or not and see if she's happy with her marriage. Or if she prioritizes loyalty over her personal happiness. There might be more things that I'm forgetting about but these are the main things

Most importantly, get ready to get hurt. Not just the extremely high risk of getting rejected, but you will be shunned as a filthy sinner forever depending on your religious inclinations/social circle

As long as you prioritize looking at her happiness, you wouldn't think twice and hesitate anyway. You will just steal her away and make her the happiest woman in the world

>>35030864
Guilt tripping, gas lighting. What combination of words will get you want you want this time?

Everything was going great until you got bored of me

i desire nothing in this world but your love

>>35030945
>>35030971
Initial from?

Why economy tanking so hard on a sunday.( … Saturday, whatever day it is now

>>35030982
You go first

>>35030908
Fuck, thank you for recognizing that. Too long I doubted my reality, perception, fell for the words. Love made me blind.

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I have reached to a point where I don't care If I die any moment anytime. But I want to went out in a glorious way.

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AAAAAAAAAAAA

Hate that you still know exactly how to appeal to my empathy and remaining love for you. But it's not you. It's not real.

It's always immediately followed by attacks and insults anyways.

You'll say the same of me though, I guess, because I pointed out which behaviors and words you used were hurtful and destructive. You attack character.

Grief.

>>35030992
Ok well I'll just assume you are larping