Preface: I am not making this thread to boost my ego or to get anyone’s approval, and I know I’m an asshole in advance, but any advice could be appreciated:I’m not sure how to start this off, so I guess I’ll share a little bit about myself and what I’ve been doing. I’m currently a 29yo male, and I’ve been called handsome throughout my life. Ever since I’ve hit my mid twenties, I’ve been going through a vicious cycle of meeting women, dating women, having my fun, and ending the relationship when I’ve gotten bored. And this includes hook-ups/relationships with women way older than me (cougars).At my core, I don’t really enjoy it, because I what really value is connection, true intimacy, and not hurting people/women. I’ve been recently seeing a woman who is literally wife material. She was young, and a virgin when I met her. She brought me food, made me gifts, and essentially treated me like a king. But I screwed it up. Multiple times I cheated, and she found out. I even tried to hook up with her cousin. We’re still friends, but I’m not sure if I should fix the relationship, and stick with her, or just keep my options open and not settle down. I feel like I am slowly ruining my pair bonding abilities, and leaving a trail of broken hearts. But I can’t seem to stop. Every time I delete the dating apps, I find myself reinstalling them and repeating this vicious cycle. Am I addicted? Should I seek professional help? Should I just take this life I’ve been given, not settle down, and be a bachelor? Thanks anons
I don't understand what advice you are actually looking for...You might as well have made a thread on if you should put cream cheese on your bagels at breakfast.All of the things you asked are entirely up to your own subjective personal choice.
nah you're fine
>>35049555>I feel like I am slowly ruining my pair bonding abilitiesGenuine question: what makes you think you ever had any pair bonding abilities in the first place?>Am I addicted?Yes.>Should I seek professional help?Yes.
You’re just avoidant. Avoidant people are incapable of true love.
>I don’t really enjoy it, because I what really value is connection, true intimacy, and not hurting people/women. You lack a good degree of self-awareness, because you say shit like this, and then go on to flirt with the cousin of the woman you're dating, but the good sign is that you're aware enough to realize you're full of shit. Your motives are clearly in conflict, and on some level you don't actually want to settle down even if you rationally think you should. I think there can be a long list of reasons why you're like this, and it probably is best you go to therapy.Look into the Lover archetype and try to figure out how you relate to it (including its shadow), but beware that that's Jungian psychology and it's a rabbit hole, but maybe it helps you. Good luck anon.
Also, you're not destroying your "pair-bonding abilities", I think men are the actual romantic type and once we decide to settle, there isn't a force in the world to detract us, so don't worry about that. But what you are doing is hurting these other women, and yourself, by lying (being inconsistent). So until you figure your shit out, don't collect bad karma by leading these women on and making them believe you will settle.
>>35050314Not true. Avoidant are capable and seek true love but have been harmed by being vulnerable and someone who is not true love hurt them. So they are distrustful, but if they are vulnerable with who truly loves them then they will find everything is better and they will heal.
>>35050314Also Op is not avoidant. They sound like a garbage cheating narc. Someone an avoidant should avoid
>>35049555Since we're playing label games I'll give you my advice as a Sigma, not the fake autistic incel shit but as an antisocial handsome man who had your opportunities but chose against them because I don't feel like others are human. You need to drop the label, your problem is you outsourced your identity to the opinions of other people. It does not matter if you had basked in positive opinions it is still having who you are defined by the whims and emotive judgements of other people, you mentally become their bitch. What this means for you is that you develop a crutch, a comfort blanket, a mental pocket of safety to run to when life gets stressful and for you that pacifier your mind sucks on is sex, female validation, romance. The strength you possess is also your greatest failure. You have the sex appeal but the twist is that you are a sex addict, the same energy that drew people in is also the same force that will push others away. And while others might envy you or admire you they don't know that to only be regarded as valuable for skin deep reasons it means your whole life you don't even know yourself behind that skin, all everyone sees is just a body. My advice is you that you should detach from your identity, stop labelling yourself as Chad, stop outsourcing your value to others even if they value you greatly it's still a mental cage only it glitters gold it's still a cage. Start asking yourself who even are you without the face? Find that void and jump into it and see for yourself
just find a hoe that don't care on some bonnie and clyde shitit feels bad to do bad to good people, and it's dangerous too. just play in the mud if you're going to play in the mud
>>35050548Thank you>>35050603This helped a lot. Thank you
