This November to coincide with No Nut November, I had decided to try and make improvements in my life or fix what I think is really detracting from me living well. I am seeking advice on maybe how to go about in a way that isn't full all or nothing. I have a very all or nothing mindset and I think that makes me fall off the horse easily when trying to improve. So a take like "Welp, I failed, might as well fully give up." So here is what I need help with.>1. Quitting pornoI am trying to lay off the porn usage. I did some introspection and found that the main reason I even watch porn is because of boredom AND lack of intimacy I guess. So I think I could fix my boredom but the lack of intimacy would be a lot harder. I just hate using porn because I feel like it drains me. I use it at least once every day. >2. SleepI have a terrible habit of sleep revenging myself. I basically can't stand to go to bed on time because I feel like I didn't do anything besides work and go to the gym some days. This leads me to having miserable days at work because I am tired in the mornings. I stay up maybe 2 hours later than I should be. >3. Maintaining friendshipsI have a hard time with this. I have issues with going out to events so I rarely see some friends. I also feel I am trash at planning and just hate to be the one to initiate much of anything. However, I do care a lot about my friends. >4. Keeping a clean living spaceI have a bit habit of just letting my living space become a pig pen. I try to keep it clean but what stops me is "I never have guests anyway. So why keep it clean?" I want to get over that and keep an actual clean living space so that maybe I will WANT to actually have a friend over. Or even a woman over. Anyway help with any of these would greatly help my goal. The overarching goal is just general improve my life so that I actually don't feel like dogshit every day.
>>35050157>1. Quitting pornoCheck the Semen Retention General on /x/ and also check the archive in 4plebs, they do have useful advice
>>35050172>Check the Semen Retention General on /x/Why the fuck is there a semen retention general on /x/ of all places. That seems... odd lol.
>>35050182Many religious and non religious traditions/cultures throughout history preached some sort of abstention from pleasure(especially sex). It turns out that many humans all over the world figure out that mindless self-indulgence is harmful to your body and soul/spirit/chakra/chi...You get it.
>>35050203Not him but I am interested, could you please list those traditions and cultures? Both religious and non-religious please
>I have a very all or nothing mindset and I think that makes me fall off the horse easily when trying to improve.Very common in people with depression or perfectionistic tendencies (who eventually become depressed). Being aware of it is a improvement, but I can't offer any meaningful insight because I'm just like you.>>1. Quitting pornoAs you said yourself, the main drivers that propel people towards escapism and addiction are emotions, negative emotions. As for porn, the boredom + loneliness combo is very common. I did quit porn because, ironically enough, I got bored of it. Also, I started to feel really sad and pathetic while watching it. But, my tip to you would be: avoid the "quitting" mentality. Instead, aim for a "I don't really need it" mentality. All the guys who watch porn, feel bad about it, then try to quit and fail miserably they have a thing in common, they make a BIG deal out of it. Watching YouTube videos about the "NoFap timeline", reading Reddit posts, making 4chan threads(like (you)), downloading apps, etc. This kind of behavior make it seems like they're preparing for a grueling task, the task of "quitting", as if they're giving up something that's essential for their survival and it's a big part of who they are, but it's not. Like that famous book about how to quit smoking says, you have to tell yourself that you're not losing anything from quitting, you're just REGAINING your health and mental clarity. So, instead of obsessively focus on "quitting" (which is a conceptual trap since the brain doesn't really understand negatives), fill your day-to-day life with tasks that make you less prone to reach for porn(=escape, numbness, distraction, avoidance from bad feelings).I typed too much. I'm sorry. I'm not even a native speaker.
>>35050249>>35050157The literature on the importance of sleep is basically endless at this point and I think it should be your main priority right now. Among other things, getting good quality sleep consistently improves our moods and willpower(which has been proven to be limited). With a well rested mind, you'll be more resilient towards adversity in your daily life. By neglecting sleep and spending the day tired and lethargic, you'll be much more inclined to devolve into the very same behaviors you said you want to avoid like consuming porn and making your living space a mess, which basically means you'll get trapped in a cyclical behavioral pattern of self-sabotage: poor sleep=low willpower+bad mood - > bad day - > bad decisions(porn/making a mess). Pay attention to those cyclical patterns. They happen a lot to a lot of people, but most don't notice at all and they basically become their life. So, get proper sleep. Pick a reasonable schedule and follow it. Start today! Don't let the sneaky "evil" voice in your head convince you otherwise.
>>35050249>>35050292As for the friends problem, I'm sorry, I don't have anything useful to say. I don't have any friends myself and it really is depressing. Hope you figure it out though.
>>35050157how do you stop resenting other people? I have zero desire for friends.
>>35050249Thanks for the advice. I actually couldn't even tell you weren't a native speaker. I am actually learning Spanish so I know how it is to try and communicate something that might be complex in another language. I appreciate it.
>>35050157why do people say porn is bad? i dont feel any better when i dont watch it, and dont feel any worse when i do. i barely watch any to begin with though
>>35051359It's the reason you are a virgin.
>>35051368i do not understand anon
