Ever since I was born I thought something was wrong in me, I was never happy, not a single day. I would remember playing with the other kids in kindergarten and them playing but I would just stay there, not moving at all, no motivation to interact with others or play. It's a hard feeling to explain. Now I'm 20 and it's the same, every day I wake up and think to myself what's the point of it all, I never did hurt myself or anything, I sometimes think about it but don't see the point, but during the day the only thing I look forward to is eating, I just wait for the day to end. It got worse since I finished high school and didn't go to college, I lost contact with others. I try, I promise I try, people especially my family tells me to do something when I'm bored, like reading a book to lift me up, but when I try I give up at like 3 minutes because I start to think what's the point if I'm going to die some day. Why is no one else like me? I HATE that, I hate how others seem to enjoy life while I'm trapped in this pattern of negative thoughts. I always been a very off person, like I don't have emotions. Why did I even exist in the first place? My family would be much happier probably if they didn't have me and just my sister. Of course if you read this you will try to convince me that I'm wrong, that there is more to life but there is just something in my brain, or my body or whatever that is not right and no matter how hard I try to do things and find hobbies it seems it goes nowhere. Will I ever be happy? I don't want to kill myself this young, I'm going to start college next year and my family will miss me, it's so damn hard to explain the feeling I feel every day, but I suffer a lot and no one understand that feeling. I hate myself and my existence. Feel free to make more questions.
No ones gonna come to save u, neither times gonna change you, nor some supernatural grace will change from night to day. Life's an invitation to love, an invitation to live it, u dont wait for it, you just live it, and its worth the pain. Everyday that invitation will be presented to you as a gift, as long as u have love in ur soul or just the desire to change, to live (which in itself is a response to the One who loved us first) u will be in full capacity to reedem yourself and live ur life. U have seen it partially in the movies, the man who starts his life at 26, at 30, at 40, the man who starts living again, the arc of life, age, time is irrelevant.But life is far more misterious, terrifying, and overwhelmingly beautiful than it is depicted in movies, because to truly live is an act of love and response to our Father who is in heaven.Im 24 years old and I took the decision to not live it, trying to grab the train again but I dont feel so invited as I felt when I was 12, or 14, or even 18. It feels lik
>>35051239cont.It feels strange to me now life, since when I was a teen I rejected life, and the grace of God, but now im trying to live again.
>>35051119I've been in your shoes.Ultimately, it's entirely up to you to find your purpose in life and find what makes you happy.Instead of whining like a little bitch, go out in the world and explore.Read everything you can.Learn all that can be learned.Help others in any way you can.We will all die someday.It sucks, but obsessing over it will just make you miserable.
