I'm 28, going on 29. I've dated in the past but never had anything stick long term and it's something I've been insecure about. I've been seeing this girl lately and it's pretty serious. She has more of a history with a few long term boyfriends. She's sweet and humble and definitely doesn't present herself as a "whore" or anything. She likes me because I'm goofy and make her laugh and she's never said anything to make me think she'd have a problem with me but there will always be that nagging feeling in the back of my mind knowing she's had sex with many other guys before me. What's new and exciting to me is nothing more than another notch on her belt. I wish I could just get over this.
>>35066781Not a big deal at all. It will be good for you.
>>35066781The moment you have these thoughts it is over. You will be annoyed by this forever and no amount of attempted reformation or reframing will change that. You will take it out, consciously or not, on her and your relationship, and the longer you are together, the more toxic it will be. The only solution is to fuck enough people until you're happy with yourself. That could be one. It could be 100. If you really want to stay with this woman you can ask for an open relationship or cheat, but neither option is likely to provide a reliable solution. Chances are your relationship is doomed.
One way to get over it would be to do what you can do to learn to be "the best" and thus be the most memorable not just due to recency. Trust her to love you and you to love her.
Imagine all the sperm she has received in all of her holes - happily, enthusiastically, lustfully. I hope you enjoy cleanup duty, cuck
its just how it is dude. finding a virgin woman thats sane is like finding a unicorn at your age. just be grateful shes not batshit insane. you, on the other hand, are a fucking unicorn. and if you have your shit together and have a great body on top of that you are literally a walking diamond. she should be on her feet worshipping you. you dont realize that tho thats why you have low self esteem. a lot of women wont admit because they feel like sluts when they admit their number of boyfriends but they envy you
>>35066781lol you're feeling insecure and not up to the taskI've dated virgins and I've dated whores, literal girl of the people girls and both have me as a memorable experience because I am a memorable experienceif you don't think you are that's on you, not on them, life doesn't stop for you to make your move, the girls you didn't date when you were 14 moved on and fucked someone else, no point in dwelling into that, no time machine available, just get over it.
>I've dated in the past but never had anything stick long term and it's something I've been insecure aboutWhore male>She has more of a history with a few long term boyfriendsFemale capable of long term relationships It's usually the other way around.
>>35066781I forgot to mention she is 26 going on 27 if that matters at all
>>35066841Op, this is the only post you need. Adhere to it and go slay. If you can manage , have a fun FWB with that girl to boost up your confidence. But any committed relationships will ultimately just be a waste of time after which wou will you do what needs doing anyways.
>>35066995>you, on the other hand, are a fucking unicorn. and if you have your shit together and have a great body on top of that you are literally a walking diamond. she should be on her feet worshipping you. you dont realize that tho thats why you have low self esteemcan't tell if bait or retarded.very low body count on a male is a yellow flag
>>35066841I was a virgin (late "bloomer") and got into a multi-year relationship with a girl with more experience than me. I managed to somewhat hide her being my first for a few years.In practice it wasn't that much of a problem. It turned her off a bit when she found out, but nothing major. I often had pangs of insecurity like OP, but I managed to cope. It's not an automatic death sentence.
>>35066781You will never be able to beat this feeling. At best you will suppress it.
>>35067009>no time machine availableWell, about that...
>>35068324what, you have a time machine or something?
>>35066781she doesnt have a good track record so this isnt gonna last anyway. consider her practice and keep fishing for someone worth your time until your the one with more experience then you can worry about the next phase
>>35068370I think he already used it and we never get an answer
>>35066781Dating a guy older than me so he’s obviously had some long term relationships before me. We started dating when I was 18 and he’s my first serious relationship. I had serious retroactive jealousy when we started dating because I compared myself to these girls for a while (didn’t know much about them, just why they broke up) but I think with time it definitely has gotten better. When you make new memories with someone and spend enough time together and they dedicate themselves to you it like clicks in your head. If you were just a notch in the belt she would already leave or wouldn’t be doing all of these nice things. You won’t even think about it eventually if you can just work on your own self confidence
>>35066781>>35069022>>35066841imagine being a relationshipcuck. you eat shit and try find copes about it? have you tried not being in a relationship? "dude being retarded meat with other retarded meat people will... boost your 'confidence'!" do relationshipcucks really?
bump
>>35066781I've been with less experienced women, and with more experienced women. It made no practical difference. I've been with my current gf for three years, and I'm as confident as I can be that this is going to last forever. She was a bit less experienced than me at the start, but certainly no virgin. What matters is not whether you're her first, it's whether you're her *last* - and her best. My gf is fond of saying that sex with me isn't just better than it was with anyone else, it's a completely different phenomenon. ("If what we do is sex, I've never had sex with anyone else!") I tease her by calling her "my little virgin girl" - she likes that. And honestly, I feel the same way myself sometimes! But we didn't get to that point overnight: it took a couple of years for sex to gradually become that for us. A lot of learning, exploring, guiding. (A lot of it about the mental rather than the physical). The fact that you're not so experienced doesn't prevent you from going through the same process on the same kind of timescale; it doesn't prevent you from becoming her last and best. If you like her in every other way, you should stay the course, and a few years from now, it really won't matter.
>>35066781it's a very mixed bag. a girl with lots of sexual experiences will teach you lots about sex if you are an inexperienced guy (how to make her cum, how to have good sex) and if you two do have a long-lasting relationship then you are going to have really deep, at times seemingly transcendental sex that probably beats hook ups she has had (i presume, i never hooked up but i have had sex in a committed relationship)but even if that is the case, >>35066841's point is true. you wouldn't really be a man (or a human) if you didn't have some feeling of insecurity/jealously over her history compared to your lack of one. it's a shitty situation. the girl doesn't mean to hurt you, you still like her and want to be intimate, but there is a gnawing emasculation. what sucks in my case is that i am not comfortable with having sex right after getting to know someone, yet many of the girls i have dated seemingly are, and so there will always be a type of weakness that i'll feel. such is life
