Nobody is coming to save me, and I can't save myself. I'm a bit of a coward as well.

That was a bad idea. It's ok though, it's not that serious.

what was that about a honda? what model again?

https://youtu.be/1JXDSmWIfLU?si=rrPcoS3hN3mpznk5

Let time begin that day

Am I dying or getting laid in January?

I'm going to be soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sexy and so hot and so cool and everyone is going to cum, non sexually, as long as they are consenting and are of age

I can't enjoy happiness
I can't enjoy peace
I can't enjoy love
I can't enjoy comfort
I can't enjoy safety

I have no idea what is wrong with me, every time I try to enjoy these things my heart feels heavy and my mind is consumed by rumination, I cannot forget the pain it cost me to earn these things and I cannot ignore the fact that sickness, death and the passing of time will take it all away

I didnt want your gifts, I just wanted your love and know that you would be with me for me not for material gain.

Let me guess, 7 years?

>>35071216
And how I hate people I absolutely hate everyone with a face, I hate myself but I hate other people more. I don't wish to do harm I prefer avoidance. But life necessitates I treat with others and every time that I do my reality becomes complicated even when I avoid others they make it complicated some days I wish I could be the only person on Earth so that I can just wait out existence until I pass

>>35071237
I feel that bro..It sucks. Shame?

>>35071267
Shame and guilt and regret and constant never ending thought in the back of my head that tells me to never let my guard down and to never trust a single person or situation ever. I don't wish to die but I am getting very tired.

>>35071216
Impermanence should be turned into your friend, instead of an enemy. I've dealt with those thoughts a lot, and for me, I just isolated myself from everyone to prevent further disappointment.

Though when someone does come along, I enjoy treating them with respect and enjoying the little time we have together before inevitable separation.

Once you get to know me, you'll become disappointed in me and eventually leave. Theres nothing beyong my facade.

I was disappointed by cruelty, not emptiness.

More disappointed in myself for not seeing it sooner, not leaving sooner. I could have been ok. Not...this.

I want to lay in bed alone and cry all day.

I feel sick I feel sick I feel sick I hate it

>>35071306
Breath, close your eyes and traverse that other path. The one with the clearing and the warm light.

I’ll be there soon. I’ll help. It’ll be ok.

>>35071295
I'm going to take your word for it and believe it. Im a 11/10 Goddess and I once settled for a loser man because I am attracted to losers with no futures. For some reason self-deprecation is really attractive to me. I could lie to you and say "aww ur not superficial :( ill luv u and be there for u" but i already know within 5 months itll be for nothing and ill have wasted both my time and resources

Fuck, I need our trip on the beach. You laying on my chest leg wrapped over mine bathing in the suns warmth listening to the waves, falling asleep against my chest, my hand on your ass cheek. Moving your hair from your eyes and kissing you.

>>35071295
This is what avoidants tell themselves to justify running away from intimacy.

Z
Are you quietly lurking on my shit?
Cuz I saw you on Facebook's friend's suggestions, and I don't think I've ever checked your page.
Idk if you found my other internet places, but that's weird. I made sure to just tune you out completely. You're thankfully the only one, I'd be terrified if more ex coworkers saw me.
I'm simply most comfortable not being around you right now. I've lost a comfy job, and I'm devastated by it. Not financially, but this crushed me, after everything I did for it.
Now I used you as a reference, thinking you had my back. All the places I've interviewed pick other candidates, even with your reference. I thought you'd have my back, but I guess I learned my lesson.

I deleted and blocked your number and the others' since, let's face it, there's no coming back. I doubt we'll see each other again. When I lose a job, I make it a priority to pretend people from that job don't exist.

The only exception is K, because she got forced to quit. I vibe with her only because of that.

Maria,

I saw they were discontinuing the female version of my winter jacket. Imo I have the best jacket out there. It's pretty fucking great. I think about you landing in the winter and being cold. I bought a size small and a size medium of your jacket and put them in the closet for you. I figure boots will need to be tried on and I'll just Amazon 3 different sizes for you to keep the size that fits. Figure I'd order gloves, and hat at the same time when I know the date. I'll get you electric heated vest and electric heated glove liners as well. I dont even have those for myself. It's important to me that you are warm and comfortable. I do love you, you know.

I think you will like the jacket a lot , though no worries if you want something different. I'll carry you in my arms to the mall of America and you can pick out whatever you want.

Why won't they call. I'm running out of time.

The right person wouldn’t make things so difficult.

freaking out about moral concerns:
>there was a time I saw what looked like CSAM, so I looked away immediately. then I thought "was that really CSAM or did I misjudge it", looked back, verified that it was pretty likely to be CSAM and then immediately looked away again, that time for good. then I reported it.
>there was a time I got a popup ad advertising "teen porn": fearing that it might've been CSAM, I closed it, but then had the same thought as above (was it actually CSAM or not) and reopened it so I could be sure before I report it, which I did. I don't know if those actors were actually 18+ or not, though it seems likely they were.
>there was a time that, on my Google image search results, there was a "teen porn" thumbnail. I looked away, but then added a word to the search and scrolled down the results again, knowing that the thumbnail might've been in the other results as well. it was, and I saw it again. I don't know if those actors were actually 18+ or not, though it seems likely they were. I reported that too, but I was panicking about something else at the time and allowed it to distract me from my moral duty, so it took me a day or two iirc.
>have I done moral wrong? have I done harm? and is it redeemable?

>>35071232
How did you know?

>>35071150
I was pulled into really degenerate 2d porn like /b/ tier and erp from using the internet without moderation as a kid. Im trying to to repair my brain now but the guilt and idea that those conversations are still out there haunt me. Im trying my best to become normal again but I feel like i should die. Can I move past this? Do I deserve to?

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having a bit of an issue with impulse buying shit lately dont really understand why i keep doing it

>>35071403
yeah just stop looking at it and focus on your life
when you jack off dont use porn

>>35071420
Retail therapy. Empty satiations to distract you from feeling the hollow spot. You may be prone to start excessive snacking for sensory input, don't.

>>35071445
I need a new hobby to keep myself busy but I cant do anything fun because im injured

Did you really have to do those things
You knew that could hurt me?
Did you really have to do those things to me?
But I know that I can't be the one you love

>>35071366
I dont like disappointing people therefore I have to protect them from myself. Otherwise its inevitable.

>>35071484
I'm not mad at u, just disappointed. I'd say do better next time but there's no next time. No one in our circle understands your self-loathing self-flagellating ways. You just look stupid.

>>35071488
stupid?

>>35071491
Lack of common sense. Ignorance.

(Not talking about you specifically, btw)

>>35071497
How its related to avoidants? I probably dont realize on how this looks to others.

I know shes visiting but please don’t drink. Please. I’ll be there soon and be what you need.

>>35071420
I just feel so disgusting and tainted by it. I also feel so worried it would ever get out even though I know thats very very unlikely. Im not touching it again though.

As for your issue i would recommend you separate your money into two accounts, one you can use for fun and one that's money you cannot touch except for essentials.

Oh wait if i kms i'll make that dream about dying in autumn become true by default. Fuck you secret radio you gotta work for it

Post a link to the last gioyc thread

For 20 years there's been something wrong with me. I think I have an undiscovered chronic condition, although I might also just be mentally ill.

>>35071354
Damn why you so spiteful towards losers, not everyone can be a winner some of us need to be at the bottom.
It's not our fault you tried to be cpt save a bro

>>35071488
>1488
On that point who wants to be part of your guys' circle
Don't beat down on the guy when he is obviously in need of positive reinforcement and advice.
>>35071295
Look man I've been there and I woulda lied if I said it gets better. You only gotta be true to yourself and nobody else. If you didn't or don't know yourself then congratulations you now have a purpose in life.
Its still bad at times but this will make you better in the long term

To anyone who's never been loved or chosen, for everyone who only has themselves:
You don't need to get other people to love you, you only need to love yourself. You're a gift to yourself that only you get to enjoy. Don't let other people turn you bitter and cold. You shine bright for yourself

>>35071220
I promise you, it has nothing to do with material gain.

>>35071510
I should have asked what you meant by protecting others.

If you meant hiding your feelings, isolating yourself - that's what I assumed. I apologize for the confusion.

The people that love you care about you and what you have to say and feel.

It hurts us when you're unhappy, it's written all over your face.

So what do you mean
>I have to protect them from myself

?

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I fucking hate body doubling. My fiancee needs me to be around all the time. We are in the weeks away from getting married and she gives me some guff because I want to handle the suit alterations as early in the day as possible and suggested we split up and handle our own respective tasks as I know shes busy too. I get it, I get wanting to spend time with your partner, but sometimes it feels like shes trying to run a marathon as a three legged race where she expects me to just lift her and carry her. Im tired man, and we can be more effective as 2 people sometimes, not 1.5

Finally got hot enough for random women to compliment me on a weekly basis (mostly milfs lacking a filter and random drunk or high bar/club/rave girls). I'm married now and don't really have any interest in stepping out but it is a bit mind fucking now to get that validation.

Ah. That's not supposed to happen.

Your heart is my GPS, I'd be lost without you...

I've come to the bitter realization that, while self improvement is extremely necessary to be fulfilled, it won't really increase my chances of getting a woman to love me. I've seen total losers find women of my dreams and even worse they don't even realize it or even put any effort into improving themselves at all. Love doesn't care about being fair and that makes everything I do feel fruitless.

>>35072102
How can any woman be your dream woman if she is not into you. That's kinda cucked if you ask me.
You're worth something anon. Don't let people into your head and heart all willy nilly. You need to realize that if a woman is gonna enrich your life she'd do it. If it didn't happen yet it speaks more about the quality of the women than you.

>>35072112
>How can any woman be your dream woman if she is not into you. That's kinda cucked if you ask me.
That's the biggest irony of it all. In order for it to be truly love you don't have to work for it, but competition is literally how men develop and become better.
>You're worth something anon. Don't let people into your head and heart all willy nilly.
I appreciate it. I think all humans have value, and those who understand it and seek to better themselves are on the right path. I just need help, especially genuine female companionship, and the realization that there's no guide to get one is painful. The only thing I can do is just continue to work on myself and pray.

I really, really wanted to be euthanized.

>>35072271
Why? What's wrong?

>>35072044
I mean I have to protect you from myself. You have a better impression of me than theres actually is. You'll just become disappointed that theres nothing beneath the surface.

I miss you. Please talk to me soon. I hope you still remember me because I can't forget you.

When I was first getting to know you, you were worried you’d never be able to afford motherhood someday.
You live with your parents and pay no bills. You make more money than me and have nothing to show for it despite this.
Also, in the short time I knew you, your family took you on two different week-long vacations to Europe. What the fuck were you worried about?
Why waste my time?

>>35072297
No offense, Anon, but this incredibly vague post on an anonymous imageboard will never reach them and convince them to reach out to you. Reach out directly if you want to hear from somebody.

I don't know what to do. I never know what to do. I don't know what I think, what I feel. I'm frozen. My own shitty choices led me to this. Have to do it alone. Can't go home. Felt hope at the sight of blood, but isn't that just as bad? I'm tired. Can I rest yet? It's never enough rest.

When did you decide I was your enemy? I thought we promised to love eachother forever

When you started acting like one.

Nobody on here is ever who you want them to be.

>>35072445
People you can meet on this site are rarely who they say they are.

>>35072445
That's why I ignore most posts I think are for me, especially if I don't think they're her.

I wasn't what they wanted me to be either.

>>35072468
You aren't what you want to be.

>>35072468
What are you?
What do you want to be?

>>35072461
they are NEVER her anon.... thats the point ...

imagine all the time I could have spent playing Tamriel Rebuilt and updating the wiki that I spent on this horse shit

I want to be at peace.

she lied twice, have no idea what she wanted with me, got betrayed again, but love the suffering?

>>35072445
I'm just here to larp

>Just be yourself
>Don't over think it
>Just treat her like a friend

Until you get too comfortable and make a grooming joke around her.

I was chatting with my crush and friends on discord when one of them said I should show her a old film they like when I meet her, and I made a joke about saying "Fine I'll groom her into watching it." That made her a bit uncomfortable it seems and thankfully the conversation moved on. She did agree to actually watching the film when I meet her irl but man it sucks that I got punished for being too comfortable around her to make dumb jokes like that.

>>35072495
I can help you with that.

>>35072517
How?

>>35072524
Simply have 'Me' teach you to have peace in most situations.

>>35072526
Oh. I was hoping you were offering to shoot me.

>>35072529
I can't do dat, Freds.

I can’t take it no more
I need a hot ass Latina gf
I don’t care if I’m in the pits
I need a girl for cuffing season

>>35072505
Who do you need me to be?

ive been slacking for weeks now. usually i find my willpower again eventually but right now its kinda not happening. maybe i just need to get more sleep tho. despise being in this vegetative limbo

>>35072594
You have to do something about it now. I knew people in this situation, it'll only get worse until you do something about it right now and will actively think of it as a serious issue (most likely it's not just lack of sleep).

>>35071398
you've been spamming the same shit for months now. move on

Trips and I troon.

I promise it will be ok. I will give you whatever reassurances and actions are needed. I love you and I’m sorry it took so long for me to do so, I was scared, and stubborn. You don’t have to forgive me, or forget things. I want to be accountable and supportive, like I was before. I’ll do the work and give the help. You won’t be alone or attacked. I’m sorry.

>>35072594
Take small steps to get ot of the slump, anon. Do something you enjoy, even if you feel lazy/tired/unmotivated. Whether it is exercise, going on a walk, baking, dancing, etc. The way out of that state is to force yourself through behaviour first, even before your mind agrees with you.

>>35072669
Going twice.

I think im going through psychosis. I keep hurting people i love and engaging in repetitive and unreasonable patterns od behavior. I dont know what the root cause is, and i cant afford therapy nor get it through my insurance. I dont want to hurt anyone. I dont want to hurt anymore.

>>35072093
Reminds me of what I wrote My Moon
>Just because you feel lost does not mean your compass is broken

Maybe it’s time you asked yourself what you really wanted and actively reached for it instead of sitting back and hoping it’ll come to you.

>>35072750
I needed to hear this.
I honestly want to engage in extreme and regressive acts, however I haven't because it would inevitably be a life sentence or an OIS death, which would give the people I blame for the position I am in, a life-long sense of schadenfruade. Im essentially only alive to spite the people that hate me

I was really hoping it wouldn't matter. But jesus. 8 year difference between us. I can see why you wanna ghost me. Had no idea you were 18. That was gonna be the first question I had for you, but hell, I was so nervous I couldn't find the right time. Fucking hell. Who was I kidding anyway? I wish I wasn't such a fucking idiot, blind to social cues or whatever.

Why did you pick me just to use me up and waste my time?

>>35072807
What makes you think I'm trying to waste your time?

>>35072750
Some of us try to better ourselves everyday and in the back of our minds we feel that others would maybe be positively influenced into being better themself. Think positively and you can ecourage positive change within yourself.

>>35072814
Hot and cold, then when the stakes are highest you sabotage every last shred of trust and hope

>>35072670
You may want to change for them, but you'll be forcing the impossible. The mask will slip one day. What makes you think you can maintain it? Love? It wasn't enough the last time, was it, so what's changed?

>>35072840
I'm not hot and cold, I simply keep myself at a distance. I burn for you, I always want to talk to you and I'm always looking for you. I feel like you'll hate me soon, though.

>>35072855
I don't hate you, although I have screamed it aloud, alone.

IM NOT GETTING A JOB UNTIL SHE GETS ONE.

IF SHE DONT HAVE TO WORK
NEITHER DO I !

>>35072860
It'll take me a while to get right in the state I'm in now and what life's Throwing at me. I don't want you worry about that, honestly. So I just try to deal with it alone.

Humans are not capable of that much change. You may think the mask you wear is the real you, it isn't.

>>35072887
I wear no masks, I just have no face.

You're such a fucking liar, I see through it all now, even if you don't. The apologies are brittle and incorporeal. Any changes drift away with the next breeze like smoke. I'm better off alone, regardless of the situation. Safer, alone.

it's over.

>>35072928
Why would I lie? My mom has cancer and I'm dealing with it rn. I'm not finna sit here and act like things are okay rn, when they're not.

Remember
The woman that is one man’s headache is another man’s crush

>>35072946
You're not a headache. Where do you want to go from here?

>>35072842
Im committed to actively getting people to analyze my psychology and how I was raised to try and communicate better for the woman I love. It’s complicated, but I really thought she was just trying to hurt me and blame me for everything when she asked last. I don’t want her to be hurt, I want to support and love her. I’ll tell her that when I see her next. She needs me, and I need her.

Ahahaha I don't give a shit anymore you can plead or rage or guilt I do not fucking care it's all the same you've done it all before I'm good I'm not enduring any of that fucked up shit from you again

>>35072990
So be it.

At first I thought your light was safe, guiding me to shore. The lighthouse didnt exist. I was still in the depths of the abyss. I followed your glowing light, woefully ignorant your light was your weapon. You nearly consumed me whole. I finally noticed your jagged teeth just before you consumed me whole.

>>35072985
>Getting people to analyze my psychology
You mean the same ones that raised you and enabled you as you are now?

>>35072993
So be it.

Butter fucking sour foul vile bile taste wretch and retch disgust pain pain pain rot

No, I won’t do any of that. I’ll explain and apologize and commit to things your way. You don’t have to trust my words. You’ll see the actions, and you don’t have to commit to anything yourself. I’m sorry. I thought you were going to hurt me. So many people said you were, and I was scared. I’m sorry.

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>>35071150
I found out the reason i can't let go of my trauma is because I have stockholm syndrome for my abuser (my older sister). My friend and I talked it out for a while and I realized that I'm still in love with her despite the horrific and sick shit she did to me as a kid. He said she probably doesn't like me anymore because well... i'm not underage. And that was a big selling point. And that hurt to hear. It hurt to hear that I feel so fundamentally broken in the brain that i don't even know how to start walking that back. She did so many evil things to me, humiliated me in just the sickest ways you can think and I'm still in love with her.

How the fuck do I come back from this? I want to fucking kill myself know that I know this, I feel as sick and demented as her now. Been crying about it every night for days this is horrible how did i get so screwed up?

>>35073027
I'm not gonna hold you to that, because I know how thoughts run through your head and so I'll try to work with you when you ask or need it. I'm here, okay?

Demon, whore, liar, slut

>>35072657
Can you help me move on ? I have a lot of unresolved thoughts weighing me down.

Picking my musical instrument back up was the best decision I made this year. 2026 has sucked but between the gym and relearning music I feel like I've made progress despite all the setbacks.

>>35073144
what instrument anon?

>>35072035
Then why push me to the where you would have rathered me to be mediocre but have access to money for material things? Somewhere in the timeline it only became about that.

>>35073166
nta but sometimes its best to build up a good foundation before you start progressing. I do regret not going to college, but at least I managed to work and save in the meantime so that any future studies are well supported.

Met a really hot and cool lesbian at a work event yesterday. I almost never like anyone but I found her very attractive. We talked for a bit and I thought she was very charming. She held a presentation and afterwards I congratuled her shortly and told her "you are so cute" to which she smiled and then we went our separate ways to more events.
Am I fucking cringe? I think I am. I know that kinda stuff can be seen as a friendly compliment between women but maybe I looked too effusive. Or annoying? Goddamn. I am an idiot. But she was so cool and cute.

>>35073198
are you a lesbian?

>>35073166
I don't really care about or need your money. Whatever bullshit they're feeding you, let that stay over there. There's some things about my funds that I won't be sure about unless I explore those avenues. It had nothing to do with your money. You wouldn't like being 'top tier'. So you have comfort. Whatever did you want me to do?

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3 days without working.... this feels like Heaven... I don't want it to end

>>35072993
Uh huh. Sure you are her.

Your motivation and end goal continues to allude me. What did you think was going to happen?

>>35073298
I'm not her, Mr.

>>35073208
unless I explore those avenues? whatever do you mean?

>>35071150
looks like my friends ditched me tonight. Don't think they're late. Was looking forward to hanging out all week.

Im so sick of seeing new relationships form around me and people being happy

>>35073332
Meaning if I decode to contact heads of religions to see if my funds are still active. Simple and clean.

>>35073340
Decide*

>>35073340
huh? your funds?

my last made me feel like i would never try again
but when i saw you i felt something i never felt
come closer
give you all my love
if you treat me right
baby,
i'll give you everything

talk to me-ee
i wanna feel you need
me like
i
need you aouhh-uh

>>35073158
Trombone!

>>35073347
Yes, my funds. As in, bank accounts I own which should have been given to me whenever I'm ready, I can't have searched for them on any given Sunday. I don't think they've allowed me such things. But they're bank accounts with Limitless funds.

Happy birthday

>>35073362
And why do you have access to that of all people?

>>35073404
Because I'm The Nobody. That should be par for the course.

I'm scared of talking to you. Every thing i say is wrong. Everything i do is wrong. You kicked me out of bed twice and then left without saying bye.
You don't know the amount of stress I'm under. The sadness that i feel day in and day out not seeing you. You're my best friend. It doesn't feel like it when you're mad at me because your frosting isn't 100%.
You didn't even offer me one.
You get mad at me for doing the things you ask and mad at me if i dont.
If i do this, I'm a terrible person. If i dont do that than I'm a bad person. If i do the dishes, I'm a terrible person for doing them not up to your standard, if i dont than I'm a bad person for not helping.
I'm a terrible person for not being more romantic to you, but when i see you, you don't say hi or smile at me, you just begin barking orders at me.

It feels like you don't want a discussion. You want me to shut up and say ok yes wife. Otherwise you banish me to sleep in the other bed. I have no say, you know best, your way or the highway. It feels like you don't make any effort to be a family. What's the point in making the drive to see you if I'm just going to get berated by you and my dad. I have a laundry list of things i need to do but i dont have any time to do it because I'm working 45 hours a week when I'm not spending all my free time visiting you.
I don't have the luxury of free time to sit around and be texting at work my job title is on par with that of a supervisor all the responsibility with none of the authority. I work myself to death. And no one seems to care or appreciate what i do.
I spent half the day yesterday thinking about how i can off myself and still get the life insurance payout for you. I'm worth more dead than alive to my family.

>>35073172
I had a full time job in niche skill, I was asked to do tertiary education to look more promising to my suppose future in-laws. The field took a hit at graduation time but I did post-graduate study as they did which confirmed to be the new baseline in getting a job. Only it was too late, too long not enough patience given to as I had given to them.

>>35073411
you realize the thread you're replying to, right? You're the nobody and you couldn't afford to buy half of your parents flat (that you wanted since childhood)?

>>35073429
Doesn't matter where I am, if it's The Truth.

>>35073208
If it had nothing to do with my money then why say with regret you would have rathered me stuck in a grocery worker role to take the earnings there for your own material goals, that hurt the most you only saw me for the opportunity cost.

>>35073432
NTA, but it might have been easier to buy the flat had you worked. Property values can be a bit wonky, depending on the market conditions it might have been a better route if that was her end goal.

>>35073432
That's not really me, maybe you're not her.

Im sorry. You’re not. You needed help and you hurt me so I wrote those awful things. I felt like I couldn’t connect, like you didn’t want to. I felt like a failure and blamed you. That wasn’t fair and those insults weren’t true. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how bad they hurt and scared you. I’m so sorry.

The worst part, the part o hate most, to the point of impotent seething self-injurious vomitous rage, is that I still crave some sort of comfort from you. It's repulsive and pathetic and I hate both you and myself all the more for it.

I think I'm done, Mr. CIA

Every post in this thread is about me.

Thank you for that. At my lowest and angriest I did too. I hated myself for leaving, I hate myself more niw for thinking you wanted me to.

Well, it's too late. What's done is done, and the rest is in motion. I need to look after myself, look after them. Can't afford to think of anything else, to take risks. I'm dead.

>>35073487
It took you so long to find out.

Go back to your hatred

I don't hate you.

>>35073529
You sound like a faggot

I hate you!
*folds arms and hates you silently*

>>35073545
Why?

Its not too late, we’re still here. And the light in your eyes does still flicker. I’ll nurture the spark, rekindle and ignite the fire. I’ll be gentle. It’ll be from whatever distance you’re comfortable with. I’m sorry, ma coeur.

I know you. The real you, the scared one who wants a home. I’m sorry. I was scared too. Horrified. The thoughts of betrayal they all out in my mind. Everything I went through. It all came back to me and I shut down. I was scared. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

>>35073539
Retard, he doesn't sound like anything. It's text. Pfft.

Nothing about ghosts, but ive seen a lot of urbex and ghost hunting vids where they find a lot of shit left over. Some things that should be destroyed like blood samples, personal info and belongings.

Well, got my answer, money. It costs a lot to do removal, and some places say "fuck it" and leave it where it is in shut downs, bankruptcy, etc. But still, youd think things like blood samples, other biohazard and other material would be first to go. And apparently it costs a shit load of money to properly clean those places out and remove sensitive things. Like even medication thats been left over.

So, I got my answer, its expensive as fuck, and sometimes its like "just leave the shit there" because they dont expect anyone else in there anytime soon. Then 10-50 years later you got people dicking around in there and finding all of that shit.

>>35073558
You acted like you didn't like me and then got upset at me when I pulled away and then realized what you did wrong but never said sorry and left me wondering what the hell happened for months, you big dumb idiot!
*blows raspberry at you*
*continues hating you*

>>35073592
Like names, addresses, social security numbers, all of that. X rays, tests, a lot of sensitive info, and thats not counting the biohazard shit that can make you sick or infected with an illness. Seems like nothing to fuck around with.

Doesn't explain anything from before.

>>35073588
You're funny

>>35073602
The most recent one i saw was a hospital that was abandoned during covid. If you didnt know it was abandoned, youd think it was a normal working hospital. Shit was wild. Like they just dropped everything and walked out, it had rotted food still in the freezer, still had power etc. But wasnt completely empty, everything, and I mean, everything was still there.

But thats all I have to say, I got a logical and real explanation for it and why those things are left behind.

Nice try, I guess.

You switched up that easy? Goddamn.

>>35073659
It's a lifetime. Not a moment.

>>35073438
I offered to work any regular joband she said no dont give up on that path. This was the result. Whatever sunk cost fallacy occured happened.

>>35073688
Even so, it was like 10 minutes...

>>35073429
I doubt she is in this thread if you are trying to connect the replies to the story.

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staring at a pic of my moped when its like 7 feet away from me. What the hell, lmao. Its like right there. She'll run soon. Thats my baby, had it since richmond to here. I dunno, I like my puchs. It rips, 70cc hi hi head, 19mm dellorto carb, 19mm mlm intake, malossi 4 petal reed kit, treats stuffy crank, lightened clutch bell, jammer clutch(yellow malossi springs), treats cdi.
I just need a new pipe, might go for the treats blkblk pipe or get my Simo fixed. I loved the treats pipe because its a cheap-o version of the motomatic n8p pipe from back in the day. Nice long header, FAT expansion chamber. Looking at getting an LED headlight, dropping/chopping the seat, mounting my led tail light/ brake light to the back of the seat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arJy3T65l6A

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>>35073729
Just love that blk pipe, I ran one on a built tomos a35, and when it hit the powerband..good god. It'd be the same for my maxi. I didnt mean it rips now, but when it did run it hauled some ass for a moped.

>>35073717
Not the point.

>>35073797
It's never the point. If you have a point, then make it?

>>35073804
I plan to.

>>35073824
I don't take heart to things that are trying to hurt me. Otherwise, if you can understand my way, then there's no need for other things.

I'm paranoid that something bad is going to happen but I'm not sure what, when or how. It's just raw feeling. No real logic to it.

>>35073870
You'll be fine.

>>35073870
It's a butt raping. Guy is about 125 yards away right now. Lube up with a thick lubricant

I wish you would leave me alone and stop messaging me. I leave you on read and you still spam me with messages. I hate that you developed feelings for me because you act like I'm the only good thing in your life. Please just stop.

>>35073920
I've been in that guys shoes

>>35073920
you're the asshole for not just telling them, btw.

>>35073920
This will bait 90% of the posters ITT

>>35073920
The fact that you’re writing to them on an anonymous board shows you’re emotionally immature. You’re a coward. You could reply to them. The fact you think you’re the best to ever happen to them shows grandiose narcissism. You’re cooked. Not surprised instant karma keeps biting you in the ass until you die. You deserve it for how you take advantage of others.

>I mean, you already know deep inside what you want, it doesn't feel right telling you something that isn't what you want. And since I don't know what you want, I'll say this: dream with what you want, and I hope it becomes a reality.

>Don't lose HOPE

I wont lose hope

I wish you would keep messaging me. I love hearing from you. I know I leave you on read and haven't replied to you in a long time, but that's just because I'm nervous and so flattered by your unreciprocated attention. I'm so happy you developed feelings for me and I think it's cute that you have so much free time to spam me. Please continue.

I know you love me. I just wished you loved me enough to pretend to be someone else. Does my happiness mean nothing to you? Does you "loving" me mean only you get to be happy?

You wanted an escape from your family with me but expected me to lose myself into that dynamic and their asks. We would have been living under their rules.

I can't befriend men anymore because I get jealous if they get gfs. I knew this wasn't uncommon, but I thought my possessive feelings were based on the fact that I was female and I was "losing" the a guy. I found out that's not what it is because I can't befriend women anymore if they have bfs. I'm angry and sad because I don't feel as important to my friend. What is wrong with me?

>>35074026
You are being a twat mocking.

>You have so much free time to spam me.
More so they actually care and message you in real time by being honest without need to push pull using timing and triggering abandonment wounds tactics.

>>35074042
Pointless to be jealous. If you have feelings then flirt with the friend, send nudes, sext, etc.

Your obsession with money rubbed off on me, now all I care is to earn more even though it doesn't matter now that you are gone. I could have been happy poor as long as it was with you.

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I asked a girl a joke question on fetlife, and she got upset. I was just trying to be kinda goofy, but now I feel bad.

>>35073721
yeah I know. I just don't know why anon is clinging on
>>35073707
move on and stop posting about it.

I knew it had to happen eventually. Sucks for them though, kek.

Two more sleeps

I don't get it, honestly.

>>35074102
No its someone else trying to tie two replies together, one is the genuine poster using GIOYC as intended and the repying as if the person is in the thread too.

>>35074042
You're insecure. You're basing your self worth on other people - either basing it on whether or not guys consider you "the one" or whether or not you're the only single girl in your friend group - and that's a recipe for disaster. You need to be comfortable with how you view yourself. Build yourself up enough so that even if guys aren't romantically interested in you and even if you're surrounded by girls with boyfriends you're still happy being you. Find hobbies, work on goals, become someone you'd be okay spending the rest of your life alone with. Conveniently, turning yourself into someone you're comfortable with makes you more appealing, but don't do it for other people.

Side note: it's totally normal to not be able to (or want to) make friends with the opposite sex. From my experience, unless there's some concrete reason you can't possibly be romantically together (like a gay friend), either the friendship stops at the surface (i.e. it stays a very shallow friendship) or one person has to constantly swallow their feelings and it eats away at them forever.

You never mean the things you say

It’s close…it’s coming

>>35074150
When it comes to you, I do.

You saw artists in your workplace and placed your distaste for them onto me.

No one understands me. I don't even understand me

>>35074166
All artists and creative types are faggots. If you ever created anything in your life you are gay

>>35074167
I feel you.

the only thing stopping me is fear of punishment

>>35074170
Damn your parents created you..

>>35074175
My parents are incels

>>35074172
Stopping you from what?

>>35073920

is this for me? if it is i'll stop. i just can't stop hoping that the next message will be the one you reply to. you kind of taught me that this is what will happen before, you know?

>>35074181
murder

I wish I didn't feel alone all the time
It feels like every connection I try to sustain eventually fails
It's always just a matter of time before they decide to cut ties and I feel empty again
I guess that's just life

>>35074186
Same except I always have to be the one to cut ties. Sigh. If it makes you feel any better I feel just as tortured

Take this to your grave and I'll take it to mine

I'm trying to get you to get it and make a decision.

>>35074190
I get why people do it
Sometimes they go their own separate ways
But I feel like it's been like that for my whole life
I feel forgettable or invisible so I tend to wonder what they think of me or if they even think of me

>>35074170
Any action = creation though

I cant move on

I am stalking you

>>35074119
Until?

>>35074212
What have you been finding out about me?

>>35074212
Huh?

I regret backing you up even if distinctly indigenous you are culturally indian who takes advantage of the west.

>>35074218
Not you Mike

>>35074207
Life is gay as hell

>>35074223
I agree

>>35074212
But I am stalking you can we be star crossed stalkers who are to never interact by watch from a distance for what could have been? It wont be easy I don't update my presence much.

>>35071150
You’re not Christian if you continuously, knowingly sin against God. Christianity isn’t supposed to be a security blanket or a shield. It’s a lifestyle.

When I was a Christian I wouldn’t even let someone put a Bible on the ground or another book on top of the bible. I fasted. I tithed. I won souls to Christ. I practiced the word. I watched nothing but Christian television, media and content. I didn’t curse or sin. I didn’t watch porn, have sex, talk to girls, or jack off. I wasn't on social media. I didn’t judge people, or get angry. I’d help people. I’d go outside and pick up trash. I befriended outcasts and people who were rejects and didn’t have friends. I stood up for people who’d get bullied. I prayed. I read the bible daily. I lived my life for God. And then one day I met a girl, who Wasn’t a Christian. And needless to say that changed everything. Because I had sex with her, and moved in with her.

I sinned against my God. And I wanted to die. But instead of dying, I had a spiritual awakening!! I realized there is no Sin. There is no hell. There is no judgment. Jesus took pity on me, because he saw my obedience, so he blessed me with the Knowledge of the Truth. It’s a lie!!! We created ourselves. We designed this whole experience our self. Something I would’ve never in a million years known had I not went through all this, had I not fell down this weird rabbit hole. Similar to a near death experience almost.

Nothing is demonic because Hell is not a real, literal, physical place. Chakras, aliens, astrology, telepathy that stuff is not Satanic, occultism is not satanic. Satan is an archangel that helps people, not a scapegoat. And being a Christian means abstaining from Sin. Not praying when you did bad. It’s one thing to believe in Christianity, but actually being one is totally different. And you don’t have to be one to be a good person.

>>35074233
Sure

>>35074155
what is?

I thought you might be the kind of person who'd kill their spouse which is why I encouraged you to find someone else when I was too weak to leave myself. I hope I'm wrong, and I hope I mean nothing to you now.

>>35074222
No u

>>35074242
Just me quoting media again

>>35074233
>watch porn, have sex, talk to girls, or jack off
If god creates circumstances where you are single then jerking off is not on you. If he wants no porn 100% commitment then he needs to have her show the fuck up

>>35074243
If that's what you want, then so be it.

If I wanted to be with you, I would've been at your doorstep sometime within the two or so years we didn't have any actual contact.

>>35074250
?
>>35074308
I know. I also know you don't want to be with me. So why waste words to make me feel better?

>>35074312
I'm getting things off my CHEST!
I truly have so much anxiety about leaving my apartment and seeing my ex. I don't even like leaving my apartment during times of the day/week I've ran into him in the past year. I think the only way to get him to go away is if I act crazy, but I don't want to embarrass myself. I am not writing to you, so why respond?

>>35074336
Thought you were someone else, my mistake.

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Hello girlies.
You must choose between the High Plains Drifter or the reckless Southern idiot.

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War
Horrible war

>>35074451
beautiful

>>35074451
Reminds me of home

"i know what i got" boomers are a plague on craigslist and ebay and i can't wait for them to croak and for their "super rare" hoarded goods to get sold for pennies at garage sales

I guess it makes perfect sense on why theres no more effort from you (even though there was little of it in the first place). I was just a tool for you in the office. I guess no one in the right mind brings rake to a fancy party or asks about its feelings.

>>35074250
You are made to be the one who receives. Stop trying to what is not your role to do.

I have the feeling that it's real this time. I'll never hear from you again. I'll never see you again.

It's breaking my heart. I'm acting out. I got a job and I was immediately fired, which is a first. I'm trying to get on medicine now. I don't know. I wish that if you really were there and could see everything I've written to you that you'd just tell me to fuck off. Why can't you break my heart? Apparently, I broke yours and I was too stupid to even realize it. Is it more romantic to never give up on someone, or more romantic to give up and let something rest if you have so many fears that they don't want you around? For all I know, you have a boyfriend, and you're showing him everything I say and laughing about it. I don't really see you doing that, but, you get the point.

I think it's very rare that a man gets to meet someone who he's truly friends with and is also in love with. I know a lot of people claim they're friends with women they are attracted to, I have before, but it wasn't really true. The love I feel for you is right inside of that sweet spot. You are and were the best friend I could ever have. You excitedly hugged me when we met. I was so nervous I could have pissed my pants, and you pounced right on top of me. I miss that stupid shit eating grin on your face.

I don't know

wish i had a hot n cool longhair metal bf i can make wear a maid outfit sometimes…

I find it weird what I find hot and what I consider to be across the line, considering how relatively close you could argue these things are
I like a bit of Loli, I genuinely like petite girls and occasionally flat chests, and sadly that's the only tags that finds them instantly.
I feel like I'm going to vomit when I see CP posted on this website. Catching someone so vulnerable making them do acts they otherwise wouldn't do and then publicising for the world to see is heart wrenching to me, how anyone can get enjoyment from it is beyond me.

I think on paper B/S incest and C/C incest is hot, proximity of the person, tabooness of it, hiding and sneaking around, the confession of attraction etc, I find parental incest fetishes gross F/D and M/S especially so be extremely extremely gross. I don't mind power dynamics but knowing you're shattering the parental bond with your own child, how can that be anything but a tragedy? I've seen men irl with Oedipus complexes and they're extremely broken people too, nothing good comes of these things

>>35074530
>a lot of people claim they're friends with women they are attracted to, I have before, but it wasn't really true. The love I feel for you is right inside of that sweet spot. You are and were the best friend I could ever have. You excitedly hugged me when we met. I was so nervous I could have pissed my pants, and you pounced right on top of me

Cute AF. Maybe you can still be besties Mike

>>35074545
You can ask Mike but shed be your hot n cool longhair metal gf you can make wear a maid outfit

>>35074577
I am not Mike. I should have ended my post with that so I didn't schitz him out. I am NOT A NARC!

>>35074549
I'm into mother and son because women around my age when they are with me have the maturity of a mother with me a kid despite me being in my 30s. It's a hell of a lot better for me to do a cougar milf than someone younger or at my level. I usually don't even like women younger than me as they tend to be in it for the ride of a relationship not the relationship itself. So yes I'd take a new stepmom please, not an actual one, but please a woman in her 30s like me who doesn't let how I act like a teenager deeply get to her. Hell I bet if she flips words around here and there it ain't all that bad.

YOU BETTER FIND A GOOD LAWYER

And I know its fucked up, but you do not know what it is like to be autistic there upset you can't match the maturity of the women you wanted at 16 who were 17 going after 27. So yes, given of how I'm like 16 and she is 17 going on to 40, I'd like one stepmom please. Please read what I typed right.

>>35074594
The fuck are you talking about?

Its my birthday Monday and I should be happy but I'm admittedly bummed out you're not around anymore

>>35074594
Why? You can’t even send this directly to me. You’re a spiteful loser who never wins.

I tell myself i dont care, i past this. Then why do I ruminate over and over that maybe it's not so bad and I'm the immature one? Fuck this trauma bonded bullshit. You hurt my feelings to feel big, prioritize yourself, steal my peace, create chaos to ensure control. Am I not guilty of the same? Or can just not being there for me when she died be enough to justify this big change. Im not abandoning you. You just don't get to own me anymore.

At least the psych meds I'm on now makes me forget about you

>>35074616
imaginary friends are so sweet anon

I wish I didn't listen to my friends who told me to leave you. I wish I didn't listen to them when they said I needed to get with someone else to get over you. And guess what? I don't even talk to them anymore. I don't miss them at all. I just want YOU back.

If you liked him, you should’ve let him know. He’s with me now. Your loss is my gain.

>>35074626
Then go get this person.

>>35074628
who? i think they always knew, but we both knew it wouldn't work. not in the state we were in at least.

>>35074595
Translation given of how I'm in my 30s and she is in her 30s going on to late 40s, I'd like one stepmom.

Regret regret regret

you regret what anon?

ah, right, you're one of those bots who just repeats words. Run. Run. Run. Run away little cowardly bot. Go home

Im so sick and tired of me putting way too much effort into conversations. Sure, you answer my questions but it feels like a glorified interview. I do care about you but this one-way street interaction really grinding me down. I ask a well thought question and just receive one or two words answer. I would just outright block you but we being at the same workplace prevents me from doing so.

>>35074642
okay

>>35074642
I'm just too busy arguing with the thoughts (not voices) in my head. It can be great fun. Fun!

Regret isn't real

I know you to be controlling and vindictive, regardless of what you say, and I've fully prepared for to be this way in this situation too.

To think that a cute, modest girl at a handjob parlor would shower me with kisses... For a middle-aged, single man like me, isn’t this too erotic…?!

I feel grossed out after masturbating to taboo stuff, so I mostly stay away. It's so hard nowadays when so many videos have taboo titles and tags. The only porn that is genuinely hot to me is ~passionate~ bf/gf or husband/wife stuff. When I was a preteen/young teen, a man (maybe in his 30s) showed me CSAM after I told him I enjoyed loli (which I did at the time) and it still haunts me. I found it very disgusting and scary. I wish I could scrub my brain of the things I've seen. I took a very long break from watching porn after that, and I don't watch it much as an adult.

If killing the man who showed me those terrible things would remove the horrible images and intrusive thoughts that remain in my head, I would. I'd much rather be stuck with the image and sound of a knife plunging into his body than these scary thoughts. Concern of doing things I'd never do, or want to do, has been tearing me apart. I don't know how to tell any therapist about it. I find violence disturbing, and I can't even stand killing bugs lately. It's not that I dream of committing violence, and I of course have no clue where that man is now. I hope he dies an agonizing death. I'm just thankful that the universe has not been kind to the other men who've traumatized me. It's so tragic that it all started with my father, but didn't end with him. It feels like a blessing that at least two horrible men's lives ended in great dread. I prayed for the remainder of their lives to be awful, but I know they led hopeless lives for no reason besides their own failures.

Your veneer of kindness and understanding is thin and transparent.

Just tired of it all. Everything I love is becoming fake & lame. 4chan has finally become unusable for me. Should be happy about it, but what else is there now. The schizos how won, yea.

>>35074663
I cant show real emotion, you will run away.

what even are feelings? I can feel happy. I can feel sad. I can cry. I can get mad. Is that all there is?

>>35074678
Because your only "real emotion" you show is anger at you not getting to control or do whatever you want to me

>>35074644
So am I just a toy for you?

>>35074691
Who are you?

>>35071150
I want to divorce my wife but I know if I do she will just start pulling her cunt shit on my sons

>>35074699
There's no point in divorcing. Just accept being miserable

>>35074700
But she is literally unbearable. I thought fat people were supposed to be jolly

>verbally uses you
>it's just banter bro

I don't want to buy a house with my dad. Is that so strange?

>>35073200
Bisexual woman with a strong preference for women

>>35074584
Oh sorry, you are literally describing him.

Watching South Park reruns on PlutoTV reminds me of better, simpler times. It helps bring me back down to Earth. I just hope they don't start running anything from the newer seasons when they brought out PC Principal.

ltr gf has dug into my internet activity (gooner shit, imageboards, frivolous opinions, unhinged chats with m8s) and is likely to dump me over it any day now which is incredibly sad bc we were a really good couple prior to that

I'm not angry at you anymore. I think I've run out of that for you. I forgive you for leaving. But now I'm back to just sadness. I miss you so much and it hurts me so much.

I hate u

>>35071150
transmasc women are genuinely pure evil and they all deserve to die

>>35074818
What is a transmasc woman

You just can't help but sneak in a hint of a gloat, of having gotten one over on me in some way. Because you're a shitty person.

>>35074606
What do you mean? Who died?

Liar.

Sick. Hold it in. Hide it, all of it. Need-to-know. Doesn't matter. Just survive.

Fight the future.

You do matter, baka. I’m not lying. I’ll see you soon and show you. Love you.

My heart skips a beat. Nervous? Why? I don’t know. Excited, I think, to see you. I was so worried. I want to hold you. One more sleep.

I had a dream we were all in the backyard playing with leaves. She was giggling so much. We were so content. I want that. I want to give you, them, that.

>>35074701
Kek I used to think that too. Some are just not all of them.

>>35074628
Your relationship is based on lies. Shallowness, vindictiveness, manipulation and eventually one of you will break.

>>35074077
Same except I'm only doing it so I can find a way to retire fast and or save up for my family when I eventually die of whatever(I'm hoping to die peacefully in my sleep)

>>35075036
those dreams are the best

>>35071150
It's so embarrassingly petty that, I keep looking back on my life and thinking I'm such a fuck up embarrassment failure.
Still don't have my drivers license at 27, going on 28, might change in a week that, but even still my ex-fiance got hers at 17 in a few weeks, I have a 90th percentile job, but the contract is coming to an end and I feel like I'll never own a house, I live in a shitty HMO with Africans as I can't afford anything more due to the amount of debt I racked up.

They say comparison is the thief of joy, but even where I am ahead, I feel below, beneath, behind, worthless compared to everyone else I know.

It's my birthday (Monday) and I'll get high if I want to
Can't deny that I want you, but I'll lie if I have to

Realizing that I must not be that important to you if you don't care to at least text me back within a few days, if I was someone you were down bad for I'd imagine this would never be a problem

No excitement, only dread.

>>35075282
Maybe they're going through it rn

>>35075293
They are, and they have been for a bit
Guess I'm frustrated with that and with not being able to do more to help them out

>>35075299
Not your job. Just be there when they're better

>>35075306
Yeah, fair enough anon
Just hoping I'm not forgotten about when they are better