How much self desire to get rid of it do you honestly have and are you capable of leaving this site? I never went to therapy and it took me a very long time for me to get rid of my /d/ fetishes. They come back periodically but I know they aren't what I want in life. I am curious if therapy would've helped me when I was younger.

>>35072077
What are your fantasies, exactly?

>>35072091
I have a lot of desire to be rid of it, having them makes me nearly sucidal but i also have very intense compulsions from years of porn use. I think that i can overcome them becuse in reality most are more about what stimuli i have trained myself to respond to than what i actually find hot.
>>35072095
Well you can probably imagine if you have glanced at 2D porn sites like /b/, rule 34, nhentai or reddit and whats normalised there. Stuff like incest, non con and whatwever else is normalised there as well as worse stuff. Most of it is honestly a haze due to using it for years.

There is a huge dissconect between what i actually fantasise about and what i consumed however. Most of this was introduced to me when i was still a kid and i never really fantasied about any of it irl, i just became used to this kind of content as "normal" because its what these sites presented as normal. I also talked to a ton of adults online who would encourage me to get into this stuff or erp with me.

>>35072140
>Stuff like incest, non con
LMAO. Nigga, that's normal. I jerk off to that shit all the time. Just not hentai. If you're such a prude though, just start watching regular vanilla human porn.

When I was much younger I went to therapy due to being exposed to porn and other sexual activities by someone who was supposed to be looking out for me. Not only did the therapy do absolutely nothing to help me curb the weird kinks and fetishes I developed from my sexual trauma/porn consumption it probably made it worse.

I have considered trying to go to a better therapist however the way I see things currently is that if I can balance my regular life with my extreme sexuality/interests then everything is okay. If I feel as if there is an issue, I hold back for as long as I can.

>>35072152
Are you kidding me? Shit like that makes me want to vomit when i think about it conciously. How do you look your family in the eyes knowing you jerked it to stuff like that earlier? how do you not feel like the scum of the earth everyday? The only way i've even been able to live a life is severing it from my concious brain.
>>35072162
Im worried about this too, i dont think a normal therapist would help which is why i am looking at this hotline specifically.

I personally feel like i dont want to engage in any of these fetishes at all ever, it makes me feel like i should be shot. Excessive masturbation is also a issue for me but i feel like it would be more fine if didnt cause me to fall down into this shit.

>>35072140
My fetishes mostly consisted of huge women with absurd proportions, so you're honestly better off than me. You're on the right track for healing, porn disconnects you from the ability to understand genuine love when you find it, and I learned that the hard way. I'm not sure if you need therapy but me talking about it to my friends definitely helped for a bit.

>>35072177
Nigga, I specifically target traumatized sluts to indulge their fucked up kinks and you think I'd feel bad over watching/reading some cnc porn? I look at people in the eyes knowing myself superior, because nothing human is alien to me.

>>35072191
Honestly i dont think thats worse, its more dissconected from reality than the stuff i've watched and doesnt bear the actual harm that some of these fetishes would represent irl. I feel yours is just weird while mine are deranged and make me feel like a horrid freak.
>>35072196
This is basically what adults did to me as a kid and introduced a lot of fucked up shit to me, so comming from the otherside of the isle i have a very diffrent persepective on this than you.

>>35072211
Well, to be fair, I would never push this on anyone who isn't seeking it for themselves, and most certainly not a child.

>>35072211
> its more dissconected from reality than the stuff i've watched and doesnt bear the actual harm that some of these fetishes would represent irl.
You're probably right. I actually crave gentle femdom most of the time. If you know you truly don't want to cause pain to others then you are right. I won't lie though I just consumed so much gentle femdom asmr content as I slept that it's second nature now.

>>35072222
Well yeah i guess between concenting adults its whatever, but these fetishes i mentioned and worse were introduced to me when i was like 10 from browsing online and like 13 by adults online and really really warpped my perception of porn and sex. So its not as easy for me to reconslie fucked up shit like non con or incest becuse its not something i really want to engage with just that i've been submerged in as a kid and teen.
>>35072228
I truly dont in my concious mind which is why having become used to this stimuli and engaging in these topics through stuff like erp has truly warpped my psyche and ruined my sense of sexuality because its so counter to what i want irl which is just a love and affection.

I really dont know how to reconscile my concious self with this deranged part of my brain.

Wait, are you a girl or a guy?

>>35072253
guy.

>>35072240
>I really dont know how to reconscile my concious self with this deranged part of my brain.
Accept that you willingly engage with the deranged content, desire to remove it, and then let it go. All sorts of thoughts enter our brains, but it doesn't become a part of you until you act on it. So act on what you want instead.

>>35072259
But doesnt engaging with it or erping with people about it for years already count as acting on it?

>>35072267
Oh I didn't pay attention to the erping part. It's okay to act on it in a fantastical sense but you should do it with a woman you love with that as the goal rather than the goal being the fetish itself.

>>35072290
To clarify i meant erp as in doing it online on discord and reddit, typing out actions and stuff (i know its degenerate but the point is that i have a issue). I began doing that ever since i was introduced to it on omegle as a kid but kept doing it for a long time.

I really dont want to engage with these fantasies at all though, not with a woman i love or anything i just want to be rid of them.

>>35072301
I'm just focusing on improving myself and hoping I find a woman who connects with me. The woman you fall in love with never has to learn about this. It's important to put effort into it but don't feel like your engagement with it in the past has any bearing on the future because it will only make you desire it more.

>>35072304
God, i cant even imagine falling in love with a woman anymore i feel so tainted by all of this. I feel like the fact i used to engage with this kind of stuff does taint me even if i never touch it again, I dont desire it more thinking about it, the only thing i desire is to be able to start over and never have gone online as a kid.

>>35072309
You can, anon. You've already begun the journey. You haven't done anything that will haunt you in the future outside of your own mind.

>>35072315
The conversations still being out there on someones computer still haunts me though, i know its unrealistic but i feel like it could suddenly come out any day even though the messages are mostly deleted and my old accounts too. I also remember sharing my face in some sexting convos (though never any compromising pictures) and feel like someone would recognise me.

I know most of this is probably just paranoia born out of shame and guilt.

>>35072335
You'll have to talk to the woman you love about your past preferences eventually, but as long as you admit it to her you won't feel any shame for growing as a person and moving beyond it.

>>35072343
I dont think i could, i dont want to ever think about these things again. I just want to blow my brains out think of all this.

>>35072351
I'm not sure if you'll ever be able to fully forget about it especially with the guilt you have, but I hope you are able to. There are a lot of messed up things I was willing to forget about so it isn't impossible.

>>35072391
Thats why i want to blow my brains out so bad, i just cant handle thinking about it for another moment. I hope that if i never touch porn for 5 or 10 years it cant fade, but i still feel so much fear it would just come to light again.

>>35072406
Sorry anon I hope you're able to succeed with forgetting it. It's definitely for the better that you do. Talking about it hopefully has helped you heal.

>>35072477
It has a bit, thank you, it still feels awful but i belive there is hope.

>>35072140
So fucking vanilla. Thought I'd have to play guessing game of, lolicon? Scat? Brrraaaap? Vore? Guro? Feederism? Oh it's fucking muh lil sis big sis or mommy which like most moids who've ever touched the internet have probably encountered and entertained (fictionally) before or rapeplay which like most foids already fantasise but are too virtue signally to admit. Is that really the best you got?

>>35072635
i had some exposure to lolicon, scat too but i felt so much digust over those that i generally tried to stear clear, i had periods where i was exposed to and engaged with it but i didnt mention it becuse it made up a smal part of what i gooned to. Like i said i have been exposed to pretty much everything you can find on sites like nhentai or rule 34 or reddit. If you know those sites you know what on there and what i've seen.

Those two are still absouletly abhorent if you ask me though and i dont think most moids or foids are fantasing about them, maybe small subset on the internet.

>>35072686
I'm a depraved being and I've explored the brown abyss, but not even I have gotten into lolicon, you sick fuck.

>>35072720
Have you really? have you been on sites like nhentai or just reddit? its everywhere and i found it when i was a kid. Like i said it was mainly exposure, i find it digusting conciously. But like i said i have been exposed to nearly everything online since i was a kid and tried everything. It was never something "got into" though.

>>35072749
Lolishit is vanilla. That anon is just scaremongering. Nhentai and rule34 have anything, from vanilla to obscure shit, it's not really a proxy of how fucked you are. And you were merely exposed; like most internet goers you maybe just entertained the thought when stumbling across it but didn't really delve deep into it and get full fetish'd where you have to reverse it if you want functioning genitalia back to have the ability to procreate (naturally) back.

>>35072789
It horrific if you ask me and may be some of the lowest pits i've seen. I call nhentai bad because it has it on the front page. Rule 34 is bad because of the aformentioned incest shit and so on.

Idk to me this all makes me a disgusting freak who needs help, if you think its vanila idk what to tell you except that im not as deep into the depths of this shit and i definetly never want to be.

>>35072805
It's vanilla to me because they simply take ordinary sexual appeal and exaggerate it on some scale. Like oh wow I'm fucking my sister wow so forbidden wow. Who cares. Not like you're actually forming and spreading inbred deformed babies out into the world.

Actually disgusting or maybe alarm worthy on that list is scat n guro.

>>35072817
I mean its horrific because what its based on to me.

Scat some people tried to get me into as a kid but i couldnt really even get anything out of it. Guro makes me want to vomit and always has.

>>35072828
The bigger problem is you retarded enough to get groomed lol. What you need is to probably get better at socialising/interacting with other humans and differentiate who's fine and who's got bad motives against you

>>35072844
Well i was a kid online, at this point i understand who to avoid but now the issue is the lingering damage to my brain from what they introduced to me.

>>35072852
Just interact with new humans and they will introduce you to more stuff (non-internet brain-fry, hopefully) and naturally the old stuff takes a backseat or you put it into better perspective

>>35072862
And also stop gooning and have real sex, you clearly have never done the actual act before hence you come up with wack shit to substitute (wildly inaccurately) for it

>>35072862
Yeah im basically getting rid of all my digital apps, im only on here and reddit to ask advice for my issues but i'll block this site and uninstall reddit once i have some decent advice for how to repair my brain.