Had to leave a relationship because my girl would emotionally cheat on me with her homeboy despite setting up a boundary that she has to get rid of him or otherwise I would not be pursuing it (I gave her a second chance btw), after trying to water down my boundary she eventually agreed which is why we pursued a relationship in the first place - because I trusted her.I was going to not pursue anything after learning about the male friend problem but my friend kept on insisting to at least give it a shot, now I'm miserable for two weeks and picking up the pieces while listening to nine inch nails LOL. I would give lots of understanding for her and even agree to give her time before she finally does it and all it did was that It left a huge question on my self worth and made me wonder if women who have former male relations for years can be changed at all, because I seriously doubt that now and it sounds like a setup for unnecessary pain and misery.Guess I did the big man decision and hopefully I did not pursue it for longer than a month. It was such a mess. Anyone else coming from a shitty relationship and left romanticizing about what could have been? I'm mostly done with that but still recovering.
>>35074621Here are some flags that ought to result in an instant-dumping:1. She expresses interest in another man (texting, calling, etc.). This is, at best, a shit test. At worst, she's letting you know that you're on the chopping block. She has no respect for you either way.2. She fucks with you in front of friends or family (escalating arguments, throwing tantrums, attempting to humiliate or demean you). This behavior is unacceptable.3. She says that she has "emotional baggage," "BPD," or just left a multi-year relationship. Run, nigga!4. Parasocial fixations (ex. a 'Swiftie'). Celebrity worship is abhorrent and the moment a woman reveals this, she might as well be telling you that she eats shit.Point #4 might sound a bit harsh, but I can assure you that you will be doing yourself a disservice if you tolerate a woman whose day will be ruined if her favorite actor/singer/faggot-of-the-day didn't win the Diddy award at the Met Gala. There would be more dignity in fucking a piece of plastic than dealing with that. Anyways... don't second-guess yourself and tell your friend that he's a retard for making you double down on this hoe. Best of luck, anon.
>>350746884. Sounds personal
>>35074693Unfortunately, yes. In retrospect, it was probably the most glaring, obvious sign to "GET AWAY FROM THIS WOMAN," but she was a a borderline nympho and I had no self-respect. The result was that I poisoned my soul and wasted a year of my life with somebody I couldn't stand outside of fucking.
>>35074621>she has to get rid of him or otherwise I would not be pursuing itSo you gave her a choice and she chose. You got what you asked for, so what's your complaint?
>>35074740Real shit. My stupid ass did the exact same thing and while I did ditch her, I have myself to blame for wasting time on a bitch I KNEW didn't fully respect me. You can't avoid cunts, EVERY bitch will say or do something that makes you wanna smack her but you tolerate what you allow. I'm glad I've finally reached the point where she can be the baddest bitch on earth, but if she's not for me then she's not for me and that's A ok.
>>35074688It's hilarious because nearly all of these check out from my situation. I came to conclusion that she wanted male validation more than an actual loving relationshop, is every woman like this now? Now I'm left moving on from this bitch because she just had to come into my life with her unresolved ex issues and fuck it up.You're completely right btw.>>35074740If she chose then she wouldn't have entered the relationship on my terms. I had to literally find out about her breaking the boundary. Shed agree to let me check her phone and after few seconds she'd desperately try to take it away.
>>35074621for me, leaving a bad relationship does have a mixed effect where you know what to look out for (a good thing), but you do become more avoidant. at least in my case it's been 18 months since i got out of my first and pretty bad relationship and while i've dated girls on and off since i always just remember the things about relationships that i hated, and so i get out of dodge quick before we get serious/sleep together.it could totally be the case that the bad relationship was more my fault than hers and that i just dislike romantic relationships entirely so this may be subjective. but i think if you reflect enough on a bad relationship you know red flags better than those who haven't been in one. odds are if a girl's friends, family, and exes are toxic, then she is, too
Kinda like a cloud, I was up, way up in the skyAnd I was feeling some feelings you wouldn't believeSometimes I don't believe them myselfAnd I decided I was never coming downJust then, a tiny little dot caught my eyeIt was just about too small to seeBut I watched it way too longIt was pulling me down[Chorus]I was up above itI was up above itNow I’m down in itI was up above itI was up above itNow I'm down in it
>>35074621Anyone else coming from a shitty relationship and left romanticizing about what could have been? That was me 4 years ago? I got dumped because of bad communication and because he thought I was still "accusing" him of cheating, I had evidence which I never told him about and he had emotionally moved on before we broke up. Ngl I believe he was just using me as a practice relationship. Also my ex did the same thing you did, he didn't want me having male friends, and then he went and got himself female friends.
>>35077353OP here, yeah me. I didn't get myself female friends afterwards and your boyfriend was completely right for leaving you because of that, I'm unsure how the boundary went and if he told you how necessary it was for the relationship to work out but I did. Male orbiters are nothing but for attention, and to women attention is what sex is to men, meanwhile some idiot is giving you said value you don't even have to give anything in return which seems profitable and good, but remember that if you keep having elementary school tier friendships with guys then don't expect a valuable man to settle for you. If you fear that an actual relationship or commitment will keep you caged then remember when you're alone and talking with all those guys - you aren't really important to anyone. The moment they get a real chance with some girl they'll leave you.I hope that women cure themselves of this mental illness where they believe that men's intentions aren't deeply rooted in either just fucking or having something more with them. Literally call your male friend and ask him if he wouldn't have a problem with dating in the future, you think he'd want to protect the friendship at all cost? Fuck no. They are waiting their turn. And every guy is right for leaving a relationship where dynamic is some unspoken competition with a third party.
>>35077416Unfortunately its all culture now, the women I've seen that dont entertain this shit are women who either get judged to hell and back for entertaining multiple men or they're more concerned with not looking like a bag lady in their 40's. Western women dont operate like that. Every bitch thinks men are all the same while at the same time giving passes to the men they choose to ignore. Even if a woman isn't cheating, why risk that shit? Chances are atleast one of them has SOME feeling for the other, I dont give a fuck what anyone says. I've had female friends and acquaintances and while I would never date them, sleeping with them is a different story which is why I hardly see them these days because they do not and cannot fit the role of male friend. At best you can probably be meme buddies. Hell the last THREE women I've dealt with either were degenerate bisexuals or just deviant bitches into disgusting shit like threesomes...and you expect me to think whatever man hanging around you isnt waiting his turn on some level or already fucking you on the low.
>>35077442Yes, imagine how shit I feel that I had to let go of someone I had shown genuine concern for and understanding because she would try her best to hide her male friend from high school despite him proving me right by confessing his feelings. She felt worthless and needed male validation. She would constantly say some insane shit like I'm ashamed of her or that she can't give me pleasure like my last relationships and it'd end in an hour of me reassuring her, because a normal relationship with a good partner was strange and suspicious.I feel hopeless because no matter how much I might click with a girl - she will have someone she knows for a longer period of time and has connection with.Best part, talking about any of this will not help, it's a constant loop of me trying to feel connected to her despite everything being over. The only way I'll move on is if I force myself to ignore all this, but I can't.
>>35074806>she wanted male validation more than an actual loving relationship, is every woman like this now?No, but we're living through unprecedented social calamity. Think about the average 20-something-year-old is going through / witnessing: virtually no buying power, erosion of institutional trust, rejection of traditional gender norms, decrease in functional faith, easy access to pornography & exposure to pornography at a young age, absence of community events / "third spaces" other than bars for people to organically connect with one another, isolation has been incentivized since COVID (remote work by in large is fiscally beneficial for both the employer and employee), advertising encourages drinking, smoking, and gambling. Mainstream movies, TV shows, and books promote (or at least trivialize) hookup culture, infidelity, toxic behaviors. The cherry on top of this stinking shit sundae is the fact that tens of millions of young people have become dependent on AI to think for them... not to mention there are likely hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of people using AI chatbots for sexual gratification or to try to emulate companionship. It's like everything is oriented toward the complete and utter destruction of the human SOUL. Despite what I've said - it's best not to despair over this topic. I earnestly believe there are plenty of decent women worth knowing - they're just exceptionally hard to find for the average joe.
>>35077629Arent decent women pick up quite early? Seems like you have to be at right place at right time. Otherwise, you're too late.
>>35077465>>35077677Unfortunately this is why you gotta date a younger woman if you want any semblance of a chance, as I've gotten older, all the voodoo boogeyman bullshit about women is becoming more and more true and lately I'm seeing that if you cant get a woman to lock in for something serious by atleast 26? You're cooked. You might find a gem in a late 20's woman, but if yall are finding bitches in their 30+? Let em go or fuck em only. Ever since I turned 30 I can't find a normal bitch to save my life. Either she's too stubborn, or her issues have permeated for so long she's actually afraid to be better, or my favorite, shes a fucking degenerate whose into disgusting porn lifestyle crap. A good family life, job, etc does not matter. Go on instagram or Facebook and tell me the older foids aren't doing shit for attention vs the high school girls just doing it to be quirky with friends. I'm not saying go stalk some high schoolers, but you should definitely keep on the look out for a younger partner as opposed to just any woman in general. I'm 36 now and the oldest I'm now fucking with is 26. If she's older than that then it's gonna be a waste of my time. It's no coincidence that decent women get settled in their 20's
>>35077353Well did you listen? You sound like my ex and the reason I ditched her ass was because I was getting sick of telling her shit and like a typical woman either downplayed it or brushed it off. I was tired of my gut literally aching telling me shit was off so I decided one day I was done and left her. Ironically enough she still sniffs around cause she likes "hanging with my mom" as an excuse. Chances are you did the same shit and now you feel the void because your punching bag decided he had enough. The fact he got female friends after is a direct fuck you as well, its pretty much saying "look, I was able to abstain from hanging around the opposite sex till I'm single, its that easy"
>>35074621Stop telling other people your personal relationship problems. Your problems with her are none of your friend’s business. And you’re right, if she has a male friend problem then you need to leave her alone. A girl who was really for you would never in a million years even let you know that she had a male friend before you, let alone allow it to be a problem that you know about. She’s an idiot that doesn’t deserve you. Don’t be sitting there sad over some little clown ass idiot. She’s a weirdo.
>>35077920I needed some advice from friend regarding this and didn't want to fuck it up but you're right it's none of their business and will no longer talk about my relationships with other people.Ironically I might have seen her go to the shrink the other day.
>>35077920Real shit. I know it's crazy but a woman that actually fucks with you KNOWS when and how to cut the shit. She knows she can be friends with a man, but also knows what a man is and how that can influence perceptions by the man actually with her. Women are stupid as fuck, but they atleast know this, most just decide to be retards on purpose
>>35077920You may not even lurk here anymore but your comment regarding her>She’s an idiot that doesn’t deserve you. Don’t be sitting there sad over some little clown ass idiot. She’s a weirdo.was enough to get me to finally realize how obscure of a person she was and it must have done the most amount of damage to my idealization towards her. What I've realized is that some people (despite saying one thing and doing another) still might not have a full idea of what they actually want, especially women. Sometimes you have to do the decision for them and it's not a bad thing at all, but it does make you the victim of a circumstance. NEVER simp for a woman that has a male best friend who clearly disrespects you with his presence and actions and neither does she want to get rid of him. Never be in a relationship with a person who has one leg in and one leg out. Sometimes you have to ask yourself if you'd be sadder out of the relationship than with her.Thank you so much anon and deep thanks to every anon participating in the thread. WAGMI
