I met her when I was in middle school and developed an obsession with her. I moved schools to be away from her and a truly hellish time in my life began. Domestic violence, eating disorders, cutting, etc. Then I began to be in love with her again. I began collecting pictures of her from the internet again, I set a picture of her as my wallpaper; suddenly, everything began going well. I started acing everything despite spending all day spinning in my chair, I made friends and went out, I had no problems with food or cutting. Then I developed my first crush on a guy my first year of university and things began getting hellish to the point I had to get on antipsychotics. Failed half my university courses, was just insane generally. I was on aripiprazol and now I'm on risperidone which I plan to quit cold turkey. The thing is, my life gets noticeably worse whenever I stray from her. I've always had a strong connection with God, I have pictures show up in dreams and then in real life, for example, and I'm certain the life purpose I've been given is to chase her. I ended the punishment I was being given by grabbing a school project we did together, cutting myself different times, and rubbing the blood all over it. Eventually that ended my bad streak. I received a warning to stay away from men, too. I was in bed at 2am on my phone when I heard scratching from above and my name being called. That was God telling me to go back to her. But I didn't listen and these were the consequences. I had a folder with 400+ pictures of her and I deleted it while medicated. I'm unsure how to proceed. I can't be with her because she's a continent away and dating a guy now.
> and dating a guy now.shes getting her little pussy plowed likely as we speak and youre simply psychoticwas there anything else?
>>35075592My fate is to be with her which is why I get punished when I stray. I still don't know if she will break up with him though. I'm ok with just chasing her the rest of my life. I went vegan for her, I went to her house to check on the clothesline to see if her sister had also moved away or just her, I tried to set up a tracker for her phone number when we were 12, I truly have no issue with being a cuck
>>35075615does she know about your obsession? is she disgusted/ creeped out as normal people would be or is she some narcissistic whore that leads you on for extra attention despite having a boyfriend? both cases you have plenty of reason to bail and never try to engage with her again.
>>35075642She doesn't know, she lives a continent away now and we have nothing to do with each other anymore except being added on social media
>>35075649good. keep it that way. youre psychotic anf she appears to be the object of your psychosis. this doesnt mean theres anything special about her, especially nothing like god intervening. that shit is all psychosis. just stay cleer from her, the most youll probably get out of the whole thing otherwise is a restraining order as a mentally ill freak
>>35075659The tarot cards just confirmed I must keep pursuing her though. Idk I'm just really regretful about deleting that one folder. I feel as if I failed. I'll congratulate her for her birthday
>>35075570Just play a Justin Bieber song and they will flock at you.
I'm god.You need to wear her face to become one with her forever in heaven.I am god, do not doubt me.If you do not kill her and wear her face, well... Things will get veeeery interesting for you.Listen to the scratches tonight.
>>35076467
Tldr post her pics and we will roast em until you question why you ever idolized the mediocre
>>35076467Don't try to scare me. There were no scratches last night
Today I had something weird happen for the first time since the scratches happened, I was on a website and before I could type a post myself a fragment of Romeo and Juliet in a different font appeared in my screen I swear I saw it. God might be trying to communicate with me again
>>35078128Im retarded, it was part of the website. But I just cut myself some more and added the blood to the tribute I already have for her. I think this was part of what got me out of the bad streak, so I need to make sure I keep doing it.
if you're cutting yourself over a girl, you're going insane. sorry bro. please seek some sort of help. if she did love you, she wouldn't want to see you hurt yourself for her.
