My girlfriend is conventionally attractive, has a very high libido, is actually bisexual (not performative), and (supposedly) has an oral fixation, outside of that she's one of if not the most vanilla women I have dated. I know I should not be comparing my girlfriend to any of my exes, however at the very least they had toys, outfits, articles of clothing, and various sexual activities that they were into, and at least one of them was very very into kink/fetish culture. Every toy, every outfit, everything which has been done to spice up our sex life has been my doing. While she enjoys many of these things I add to the relationship, they have exclusively come from me. While she claims she has sexual interests, she has told me nearly nothing about them and the few she has discussed with me she has made 0 initiative to engage in them. I have attempted to explain to her that simply doing missionary and cowgirl until we both finish is not very enjoyable, as that was our sex life for a significant chunk of our relationship. Sex is very important to both of us, but she continually states that I am responsible for her sexual pleasure and not herself, and because of this she refuses to masturbate. She then wonders why I have been finding having sex to be less and less enjoyable with her to the point of me often not wanting to have sex at all. I cant just straight up tell her "hey, I wish you were more like my exes", however it feels like thats what its coming to. They knew what they wanted and were willing to get it while she makes me guess and if I guess wrong I get fucked, not in a good way.
>>35076147Apologies for my writing style when I get venty, it gets very repetitive.
>>35076147Try going to couples therapy and saying all that with the therapist as a mediator between you guys.
>>35076166We should look into that. I have also considered in seeing if we could sit down together with one of our older more experienced friends to see if they'd be willing to help us out. I'm just so tired of always having to bring up interesting things (or even just different things) to do in bed, and then on the days where I dont make an effort both of us act like were bored out of our brains while having sex. 2 bored people having sex is not a good time. Also I figured id stick this in now but she's the primary initiator of sexual activity and has been so for awhile. We probably have sex (or at least try to have sex) no less than once every 48 hours.
>>35076176Start buying her a bunch of wine and get her drunk and happy for sex.
>>35076202We both like wine however we have agreed that we will not engage in sexual activity wirh each other if we're intoxicated. That may change, i dont know.
>>35076147>not very enjoyableSounds like you're doing it wrong or don't like her that much.
>>35076147>I cant just straight up tell her "hey, I wish you were more like my exes"why not? "you're a bad lay, and it makes me not want to have sex." Is a valid criticism.
>>35076147>While she enjoys many of these things I add to the relationship, they have exclusively come from me.So what you're saying is, you have a high-sex drive fuckdoll who will let you do whatever you want to her, and you're upset that she won't offer you more.>I cant just straight up tell her "hey, I wish you were more like my exes", however it feels like thats what its coming to.Make sure you ruin your relationship because you get to have too much sex. Seems like a smart thing to do.
>>35076147Why don't you just fucking dom her and take her, that's probably what she wants.Let me guess you're a futa-addicted femdom fag. Gross.
>>35076244That's what she said
>>35076147>they had toys, outfits, articles of clothing, and various sexual activities that they were into, and at least one of them was very very into kink/fetish cultureLike? And why not just do it? Can't be that complicated?>states that I am responsible for her sexual pleasure and not herself, and because of this she refuses to masturbate.As opposed to? Furiously fapping away and cooming in the room next door? Nobody is responsible for anyone's sexual pleasure, you just do whatever it is you think will attain it
>>35076308No read what the OP posted.He's too much of a pussy to tell her the sex sucks.Are you claiming to be OP???What was the conversation you supposedly had?
>>35076483>Are you claiming to be OP?Yes
>>35076500No, I'm OP; and I'm a huuuuge faggot who can't answer a question! XD
Ignore them I'm the real OP
>>35076244Fair enough. I have explained to her several times that I found the sexual activities that I engaged in with my exes to be better, however I didnt do so with any significant degree of intensity. >>35076250>So what you're saying is, you have a high-sex drive fuckdoll who will let you do whatever you want to her, and you're upset that she won't offer you more.When the fuck did I say she would let me do anything I want to her? She has openly stated that she is unwilling to do many things while never fully explaining what she is into. >>35076299We're both supposedly switches, but I wonder with her. Also I have tried this, it did not work out well. >>35076470>As opposed to? Furiously fapping away and cooming in the room next door? Nobody is responsible for anyone's sexual pleasure, you just do whatever it is you think will attain itI am aware of this, I'm not sure she is.
>>35076206That's weird dude. You should kill yourself
>>35076692Straight up
I picked a bad day to use this fucking website.
>>35076147Was your gf rather inexperienced when you first got together?
>>35076873No, actually I had less experience than she did. My relationships prior to this one were arguably either surface level or unhealthy/immature to be honest.
>>35076884Have you tried asking her what things she did with her exes that she enjoyed?
>>35077694All but one of her exes were women. The one guy she dated before me she had a terrible relationship with and barely had sex with. I am her first real boyfriend.
>>35077774maybe shes really more of a lesbo than bisexual? have you considered that? try snooping around and get to know whether she was more engaging sexually with her girlfriends
>>35077774>All but one of her exes were women.And? Have you tried asking her what she enjoyed doing with them?
>>35076147Sounds like she's a pillow princess. Don't let these retard incels tell you you're wrong. You enjoyed fucking your exes because they gave more effort, a high libido won't magically replace what naturally turns you on. Personally either talk about it or be ok with letting a piece of ass go
>>35076742>I picked a bad day to use this fucking website.There are no good days to use 4chan.
>>35076147Yeah she’s weird.
>>35076147So, your problem is that she refuses to tell you what she enjoys sexually? You say she has very little previous experience with men - you're her first real boyfriend. It's therefore highly likely that she simply doesn't *know* what she enjoys sexually. Given that you are more experienced at sex (or at least at heterosexual sex) than she is, it's not unreasonable for her to expect you to have some ideas about what to try. I'm guessing you're also terrible at sex, and every single thing you've tried so far she hasn't enjoyed. So if you ask her what she likes, the truthful answer is probably "I don't know, I've never had sex with a man and enjoyed it - can't you think of anything else to try that might suck less than everything you've done so far?" But she's a bit too polite to just come out and say that.>inb4 I'm amazing at sex, all my exes loved itYeah, because they were explaining step by step exactly what they needed you to do. You need to learn how to do sex without an instruction manual. It isn't her job to teach you.And honestly, if your attitude is "Bitch, can't you just leave me alone and masturbate?" it's also not unreasonable for her to respond "But you're my boyfriend - aren't you supposed to have sex with me in a way I actually like?"And also, actually, the fact that you seem to think good sex is about outfits and toys isn't reassuring either. Maybe your girlfriend is fairly vanilla and doesn't have clothing fetishes - there's nothing wrong with that. What she probably needs is for you to learn how to use your hands and your mouth, and for you to stop watching porn and be turned on by *her* instead of by inanimate objects.Have you ever actually tried spending half an hour or so stroking, kissing, and licking literally every single part of her body to see where she likes to be touched?>inb4 dumb roastie whore I'm a man who is a lot older and a lot more experienced than you.
>>35077976>Yeah, because they were explaining step by step exactly what they needed you to do. You need to learn how to do sex without an instruction manual. It isn't her job to teach you.I'm on mobile right now, idk when/if I'll respond to everything else. I am ok at sex. Everyone I have engaged in sexual activity with has been pleased with my performance. My exes were not telling me everything I needed to to, however there was FAR more back and forth communication. Also, in regards to the masterbation thing, if my gf does not orgasm once every ~48 hours she will become incredibly bitchy. There are some days where she will stop having sex randomly during the middle of it which of course results in problems. Also yes we do engage in foreplay and I can rather easily get her to orgasm from using my fingers.
>>35076147You're just terminally coom-brained and desperately need something extra to "spice things up". You're at fault here.Normal people fuck because they find their partner attractive. Their limbic system pushes them to "reproduce" with potential mates.If you need toys, costumes, whips, etc., then I suggest you download grindr and go fuck freaks.
>>35078687If you read the rest of the thread you would know that she is bored as well. It ain't just me.
>>35078694Then find another girlfriend? A normal couple doesn't need to do anything special. It's constant mutual attraction and constant need to fuck. If that attraction is not there, then it's a dead end relationship.
>>35078710> Everything should be fine from the get go otherwise you should break up because the relationship is unhealthy. No thanks I think I'll pass. I would much rather improve my current relationship than finding a new one.
>>35076147I think you're kinda a faggot for not controlling her
>>35078735Lol are you afraid of losing her? Sex is the foundation of a good relationship.It's not her fault if you're a freak and she just wants vanilla sex.
>>35078735Okay, but then stop asking for advice when you know exactly what the problem is. You can keep putting buckets under your leaky roof, but it will not magically fix itself. I strongly recommend you look elsewhere and try to find a relationship that clicks both ways. Stop looking for women's asses and breasts, as that leads to relationships like your current one.
>>35078763OP said he tried that already and it didn't go well
>>35076147You are gay.
>>35078644>I can rather easily get her to orgasm from using my fingers.Then it seems safe to assume she enjoys THAT. So why are you complaining that you don't know what she likes?
>>35076147If getting a girlfriend is so easy for you just dump her and get a new one. It seems you value more the sex than the person. The sex will pass, the attractiveness will pass, your libido will pass. Go settle down once you're ready and quit wasting her time.
>>35078774he didn't give her any outfits to wear and say "you should wear this" he caused some pedandtic woody allen type of confrontation faggotry
>>35076147You could literally pick her up and put her in whatever sex position you want her to be in. You dumb?
>>35078802Probably
>>35078809this.
>>35078809It's not enough for himHe wants to do the freaky shit
>>35078809Are you retarded? I have done this and she had hated it. Its very easy to tell who's a virgin in this thread and who isnt. Half of you are fucking retarded.
>>35076147>missionary and cowgirl until we both finish is not very enjoyable
Have you facefucked her and made cum shoot out her nose? Good for any relationship
>>35076147>OH NO MY GIRLFRIEND ONLY WANTS TO HAVE SWEATY SLOPPY RAW MISSIONARY AND DOGGY STYLE SEX WITH MEGo fuck yourself, you fags don't deserve
>>35076147You're the problem retard. Your gooner brain is so fucked from porn consumption and degeneracy you can't even enjoy pussy properly. Go on a hiatus until you regain an appreciation for the orafice you were programmed by 10,000,000 years of evolution to enjoy.
>>35076147> know I should not be comparing my girlfriend to any of my exes, however at the very least they had toys, outfits, articles of clothing, and various sexual activities that they were into, and at least one of them was very very into kink/fetish culture.Yeah because they were getting absolutely RAIDED by fucking Barroom Billy and Rockabilly Rebel Johnny who'd make them dress up in those slut outfits before blowing their brains out.>Every toy, every outfit, everything which has been done to spice up our sex life has been my doing. So you're doing your job as a male in a heterosexual relationship by taking the lead?>She then wonders why I have been finding having sex to be less and less enjoyable with her to the point of me often not wanting to have sex at all.STOP WATCHING PORN. STOP USING CONDOMS. PUT A RING ON HER AND MAKE HER INACCESSIBLE FOR THE 7 MONTH PERIOD BETWEEN PREGNANT SEX HURTING AND RECOVERY TIME AFTER BIRTH
>>35076147You are a porn addict weak boyI've had the same vanilla missionary & doggystyle sex with my wife for 14 years now, we love it and can't get enough, not even larpingTo me it looks like you will awkwardly insist on using a bunch of paraphernalia during sex and then grow tired of any woman you ever get with over time, ultimately killing your relationships and leaving everyone disappointedIf you weren't such a coomer and were actually more into your girl you wouldn't have this thirst for endless novelty, which you can't quench btw
>>35076166>Try going to couples therapyOne method of couple therapy a lot of couple use is where the man beats his wife to mold her into a good match and a good marriage. Make sure you get her to consent to it. No beating in the heat of anger. There will be a time of each week set aside for her beatings. You'll have documented everything she needs to work on and have thought out good lectures on it that you give her during her beating.
>>35076166What is it with this couples therapy trend? Those are for long standing relationships that encounter temporary hiccups.They aren't there to fix fundamentally incompatible matches. OP and his girlfriend don't vibe sexually, either one party "compromises" and aceepts permanent dissatisfaction for the sake of the relationship, or it is better to look for another partner.Couples therapists aren't miracle workers who can rejigger people sexuality and make them compatible. Thats not a thing, and any serious couples therapist will tell you as much. The solution to a good relationship is finding someone whom you vibe with on all levels, not desperately cling to someone who doesn't really fit and try to hammer them or yourself into a mold just to continue the relationship.
>>35076206>we have agreed that we will not engage in sexual activity wirh each other if we're intoxicatedthats some retarded shit. You won't accidentally rape each pther because you've had a bottle of wine or something , just in case that you are too Twitterbrained to consider reality.
>>35086178>leaving everyone disappointedIt completely eludes me how "everyones" feelings matter in your most private choices such as a partner. You just live your life according to what others think of you don't you.
