You can choose to move far away and see them less. Find a job where the manager is fatherly, but not in the creepy way. You will never be "perfect" or "normal" but you can learn to walk with your demons instead of letting them jerk you around.

>>35081358
Reduce contact, move away, you're probably gonna to do some reading, introspection, therapist to consciously figure out all the ways this has fucked you up, search for online resources regarding the dynamics of a child with a BPD parent, the symptoms, the behaviors you've normalized just to circumvent her moods and abusive behaviors.
Shame that your father is a pussy, the only way a BPD relationship can last is if you take on the abuse, I guess.

>>35081503

This is really eloquent advice.
I admire your grasp of language.

Do a dialectic behavioural therapy (DBT). You will learn how to stabilise your sense of self and how to regulate your emotions, something you probably never learned in an unstable household.
t. Haver of untreated BPD mom and a PD myself

>>35081358
You might learn the difference between THERE and THEIR.

Disengagement works.
You don't need to go no contact to disengage. Just be there less, and focus more on building your own life independent of them.
You may find that with distance and time you can have a resonablemrelationship with them down the road.
May I suggest reading the book 'Angela's Ashes?' Great example of what you're dealing with and how a man eventually broke loose after a fashion.
Be a man you can be proud of. Recognize the behavioral patterns you've adopted from them, and break loose of them. Don't be to your kids what the worst part of your parents were to you; this is an enormous but important thing. Men who do this successfully become amazing fathers.