How do you enjoy your own company?I have come to the conclusion that no matter how much I work on myself and improve, I will still be alone and lonely, the only thing I cannot change is my face and my height, I work out and I'm physically in shape. I work a good job, live on my own. Still have no success in having a good social circle, failed short relationships previously. Most of the people from my college class already married and have kids.What am I doing wrong?It's distracting me from my work and goals as although I try my best to live with it, we are social creatures in the end.
I don't know what I would do without this website. I really don't. This place is a goddamn lifeline for me.
>>35082324Just because you don't have kids doesn't mean you did anything wrong. You don't need to have kids to be happy in life.Do you feel or not feel emotional seen? (I hope im not projecting)
>>35082412He's just whining about not having a girl to endlessly fuck and coddle him like every other moid here
>>35082440Maybe so.. But I have faith in humanity that everyone wants to be the best version of themselves. (I'm not even religious)
>>35082412Kind of, but I would be happy to maintain friends, I used to have a small circle but even they stopped reaching out, I tried to reach out multiple times but they reply weeks late.My main issue now is I want to be socially normal, have friends etc, not searching for a relationship per se but if it happens later it's okay. It's just the isolation with feeling like I have no way to control it, as I've been told before to just work on yourself.
everyone just kind of forgot about me today lol
Hate what you put me through, what you're making me do.
>>35082461I'm sorry that you have been going through that. It seems like your friends have turned into acquaintances. It doesn't mean that they don't like you. have you tried being a regular in a place? Like walking to a location everyday or something (maybe outdoors). There are a lot people that walk regularly everyday. (You don't need to force yourself to talk to anyone.)
>>35082481How am I making you do anything?
>>35082493Pathetic weakling. You know what you did.
>>35082440It is not the world's fault that you are a bitter and lonely bitch with no man to cuddle and no kids to love.
>>35082502Projection. I'm not even sure who you are so how could I know?
>>35082504You better get a good lawyer. Even your mother would be disappointed
O, Of all the men who have claimed to be madly in love with me and asked me to marry them, well, you were the hottest. I think what we had was the most real.
By the way, I have never fantasized about fucking any of your friends, because I'm a stronger person than you.
>>35082515I don't have any friends?
>>35082512And yet you broke it off because you are a faithless harlot and you were not excited enough.
Heres what god told me this morningYou're looking through the fire that burnsWhat's on your mind, I can tell it hurtsTears don't fall if nothing is wrongSo come close, tonight is still youngPictures they paint, the memories of my homeEven in a crowd without you I am aloneGod I know you made an angel for meSomewhere close that's my destinyCome close hear my breath breathingWhispering the words I love youCome close see your futureAnd know that there is hope and there is love for youOoh, there is love for youThere is love for you in my armsOoh, you are everythingEverything that I'm living forAnd don't be afraidTo tell me what's on your heartOoh, there is loveFor you here in my arms
>>35082517Not anymore you don't
>>35082517Fine, then, I haven't fantasized about fucking anyone you ever thought were your friends. The point still stands.
I hate that "real a$s niga" fucker so much
>>35082526I like him. I fucking hate Mike
>>35082485Thanks kind stranger, I have made small steps to try to do this, it's not easy for me as an introvert all my life but for example and it sounds silly but I don't wear my headphones all the time at the gym so whoever wants to small talk can. I live in a small town and used to go meditate while I read next to a small river, it felt good in the moment but as you can tell it grows lonely. I haven't tried other places where people gather, I might just walk in parks on my own, I tried going to the bar alone a few times but I end up sitting alone and I'm a lightweight, alcohol physically makes me ill and hurt the next day so I stopped drinking. It's very bizarre the whole situation because my job involves deduction through talking to people and it's never an issue when I know it's my job that I have to do. Outside of work though it's a different case. Either way thank you for listening.
>>35082523>anyone you ever thought were your friendsI never thought that??
You think that the psych ward will be fun like last time? No, this time you're getting strapped and injected. I can already tell you're going to put up a fight
>>35082534It's horrible to have to do this to your own child, but I have no choice, and you made it SO easy. Disgusting freak. At least you're the one paying for it.
>>35082503False, I have both. Lonely impotent moid projecting.
>>35082532The point still stands. I haven't fantasized about fucking anyone I thought were your friends. Because what?
>>35082534What do you mean last time?
>>35082520Meh.There is no love in this world.All consumed, minds are broken,Clicking buttons for virtue tokens,Checking the feed for addictive dings,Burning your cash online gambling.The narrative set, hatred ingrained,From birth taught to show disdain,To pursue hedonism and pleasureAnd to ignore God's treasure.Demon-possessed, no will of their own,The narcissists fuck about and destroy the home.Bastard child, forlorn outsider,This dark world will get no brighter.
>>35082539What? What point are you even trying to make here
>>35082536You really thought I was joking all those years ago about institutionalizimg you? I wanted to far eariler, but I was convinced it was 'abuse' because you weren't killing anyone. I know you better than you know yourself. You're a burden on this family. You ruined my body.
>>35082528I hate Mike and the guy that pretends to be the new Mike. They always shit up these threads
>>35082542I'm trying to make the point that I'm a stronger person than you. That doing such petty things wouldn't cross my mind.
>>35082540The last time my demon spawn tried to bait for attention.
>>35082537Oh, so you're a lesbian? In a lesbian relationship? The fuck would a dyke know about love, you infertile, hateful hag.
>>35082546Fantasizing is petty? They're just thoughts bro calm down
>>35082551It's the principle.
OCD assholes be like. No you can't think about that, that's forbidden!
>>35082553Oh so you fantasize about having principles, nice one.
>>35082554Really? You just called me weakling and this is how you defend yourself?
>>35082549Quick, the deservedly-alone chronically-masturbating moid is delusional, in a state of psychosis! He's hallucinating lesbians! To the psyche ward with ye!
>>35082556Projection again.
>>35082557I didn't call you that at all. Is this a projection of your deep insecurities? Do you think you are a weakling?
Picking fights with people just trying to get shit off their chest is extremely obnoxious. If its not about you and you have zero insight then shut the fuck up.
>>35082562It's projection that you think I'm projecting because you project all the time.
>>35082570Oh, you're a different person. My mistake.
>>35082572Sounds like projection
>>35082574Since when do I project. On who? About what?
>>35082579u got me anon gj
>>35082572I wish it wasn't about me. Some people need to let go of the delusion that other people are thinking about them all the time
>>35082558As if women do not masturbate constantly.Your hatred of men is the source of all your bitterness.You will die alone."Deservedly alone"Women are soil, men are the farmers who plant the seed. When the soil chooses the crop, only weeds will grow.And that: you havs having the selection process following the 19th and all subsequent femlib laws, that is why Western nations are falling apart and children are raised in broken homes."This... Is... The sound that the mother makes when the finger breaks! We're chained. Chained."
Life is about projection honestly
You think about me more than I think about you, that I guarantee.
>>35082585i understand, wishing someone specific was thinking about me rn and considering anything vaguely similar as them. not healthy but definitely a gioyc thing
>>35082581You are projecting onto me right now about projection
>>35082585Why do you keep responding to every undirected post as of the whole thread is just a response to you alone?
>>35082592Are you not the one that just called me a weakling?
>>35082591You must be in love
>>35082597Why are you so obsessed with me?
>>35082602Mariah Carey - Obsessed (Official Music Video) / MariahCareyVEVOhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1Yt0xJKDY8
>>35082599i am, yes
>>35082587More projection and cope nonsense kek>If only women had no rights or freedom of independence, then surely I would be picked at last!
>>35082604This describes the relationship between me and him so well. He IS delusional
Napolean complexes are real btw
>>35082613If that's about me, I don't even think we have any kind of relationship.
>>35082612>pickedCommunities had matchmakers and it was unusual for people to be alone. Before the world wars and the internet there were no incels or hikikomori.You're a hateful person and you want to inflict pain onto others.
>>35082618Not everything is about you
>>35082622Okay, cool. Just covering all bases.
>>35082602Not every anon is the same person, I had not responded to you, but seriously, not every reply is directed towards you specifically, yet you respond to them all as if this is so.
>>35082621>Before the world wars and the internet there were no incelsEntirely false anon, I get you want to epically btfo wimenz and all but cmon
>>35082616Sometimes you think a guy hates your guts but he really just hates the fact that he's 5'8
>>35082634That shit made me laugh.
>>35082616I kind of like it to be honest. They remind me of chihuahuas
>>35082630What do you mean the replies aren't directed toward me if you are literally replying to me right now, you son of a bitch?
>>35082633Talk about projection.I don't want to btfo women, I just wish that you were not bitter, sevular materialistc hags and were worthy of my romance and my affections.Anyway, you know what they say about miserable people! Stay away from them! You are not worth my time, so you may continue enjoying your hateful misery in your own isolated state.I want the gender war to end.But you ladies, you get a kick out of putting men down. This entire discussion has been YOUR desire to btfo "moids" and to hate all men.
It's like talking to a brick wall with some people I swear
>>35082651Yet you have started multiple conversations and been confused about them because you have responded to posts which were not responding to anyone as if they were addressing you directly.Yeesh.I need to remember not to engage with stupid people
Wake me up inside...>>35082662
>>35082662Wasn't me
>>35082634origin of misogyny
He's crashing out ITT right now just because I won't fuck him
Telling the world how much you miss meBut we never were, so why you tripping?
>>35082605I'm not interested, sorry
>>35082662Projection: the post
>>35082412>(I hope im not projecting)You are projecting
>>35082519Now THAT'S what I call projecting!
why why why why why why why why why why. why did you lie... why why why why why why ??? i hate you. i hate you. i hate you!!!!
>>35082621>Before the world wars and the internet there were no incels or hikikomori.why do men just say the most wrong shit so so confidently
>>35082686I didn't lie about a thing. Don't put this on me
i wish i had bpd
>>35082545I hate all the tripfags here. /adv/ should ban them.
>>35082703They actually need to kill Mike and Zach
>>35082693I personally don't have BPD
>>35082673If that's for me, nah, you good. I'm chillin'.
>>35082528real a$s niga is a narc twatYou sound like a narc twatCoincidence?>>35082545Says the anon shitting up the thread>>35082721You sound like a butt hurt narc
>>35082318eyebrow piercings attract negative energy
>>35082541am the prisoned man of single melodyTwo voices carry farther than meI seek your help so that my song may become freeTwo voices carry farther than meAnd in the morning, sing me loveAnd in the afternoon, it's loveAnd in the evening, if they loveAnd in the morning, wake upAnd if we sing together, love will sing alongTwo voices carry farther than oneTogether we can bridge a chorus to the dawnTwo voices carry far... all the daysTime and mind they melt away,Like the stars and songs of yesterdayLike the melody you can't recall,But the harmonies you felt them all the daysThis song of solitude has sung its melodyTwo voices carry farther than meI seek your help, so that song may become freeTwo voices carry farther than meAnd in the morning, sing me loveAnd in the afternoon, it's loveAnd in the evening, is there love?And in the morning, wake upTime and mind they melt away,Like the stars and songs of yesterdayLike the melody you can't recall,But the harmonies you felt them all the daysAnd if we sing together, love will sing alongTwo voices carry farther than oneTogether we can bridge a chorus to the dawnTwo voices carry farther than one, farther than one, carry onAnd in the morning, wake up
>>35082748I hate them. I wish men got lip piercings instead
The concept of "clinginess" is a psyop. avoidants are miserable subhumans that will never experience true love and affection so they pathologize strong committed romance to drag others down with them hoping nobody experiences it because if they can't then nobody should. The fact this has even entered the vernacular is scary
>>35082767This is like the second time I see people shit talking avoidants.
>>35082767What pisses me off about avoidant types is they don't actually avoid you. They insert themselves into your life and then make it your problem >>35082775They should speak up more
>>35082781What exactly is an 'avoidant?'
Surely the schizophrenic thread is talking to me and wants my attention
>>35082792We love you.
>>35082767Anxious types cannot experience love or affection. They do not even feel it as an emotion, it's all projected insecurity. You fuckers cling to ANYONE for the validation and use them as emotional tampons and play the victim when people call you out on your abuse. ALSO. You call normal people avoidant when they just want to avoid YOUR bullshit in particular.
>>35082798I love yall too <3
>>35082792Fuck you specifically
>>35082787Chads who pump and dump
>>35082781>avoidants dont actually avoid youTrue, they only "avoid" intimacy and uncomfortable conversations (like being forced to see that they are condescending, rude, manipulative)Theyre charming, interesting, and "good" until they're outside of their widdle comfy zones.Avoidants are made, not born. Usually mommy issues galore.
>>35082801I still love you! I choose love! Life for berryboy
Them mind games will take years to do a walkthrough for...
>>35082806Ok I take it back. I love you too
"You're fun, I like yo-- Oooh, shiney thing-- Okay, I'm ba--- Hello?"
>>35082805>Usually mommy issuesThat makes so much sense
>>35082678sad to hear it but i understand. hope this does not change anything between us
>>35082814Please don't reply to my posts anymore
https://youtu.be/yQd4xQBlBa0?si=A4SRu45H950rBR1A
i dont think codependency is a real thing
>>35082827It is.
>>35082827I'm not codependent personally
I don’t think any of these posts have been you so far. I look forward to our conversation tomorrow. Theres some dread in me there, for sure. But hope, reassurances, commitment to helping you your way. I’ll convey all that, for you and for them. I’ll be who you need.
>>35082804i hate when they do that
>>35082811>You're fun....
>>35082839What? Did Maria say that to you?
I miss the cats too. >I hope you didn’t think I was taking them only to stop talking to you It barely crossed my stupid mind
I'm watching Dogma.
>>35082827It is real but its far less common than one would suggestOne person can bring lots of intangibles to a relationship even if both people dont realize it
>>35082852I'm not watching anything right now really
I’ll be cut down again when I open up? Won’t I? Is that how you felt? I’ll ask. I’ll try. Try to change, be better for them. I’m scared. It’s one thing I’ve marvelled about since joining the army. Trained to kill yet scared to open up about these small things. Idk. I’m scared of being abandoned. It feels like I have been. That’s not what you wanted though right? I just got too defensive given the recent trauma. I’ll try. I’ll ask. I’ll bare my throat as you asked.
Will I get laughed at again when I open up? Doesn’t matter, try anyway.
>>35082856Buddy Christ is a great publicity stunt.
I’ll try. Give everything. Everything I am, for them.
I hate people who think doing “nice” things unprompted entitles them to your time and gratitude
Is there an evolutionary reason why men lack common sense?
I’m tired. So tired. It’s like my strength is sapped. I’m missing something that one cannot live without. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
>>35082875I don't do it for your gratitude, if it bothers you, then I'll stop.
>>35082875Gratitude yes, time, no. >>35082876Testosterone promotes risk taking behaviours
>>35082875>the "nice" thing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlrAYsuk0AI
>>35082880It’s going to be ok. You’ll get stronger, and save them.
>>35082799Nice victim blaming.
Dogma is liberal af.
>>35082811Yeah, in retrospect, all that fuckery really did start with her calling me fun.
>>35082908Yeah, well, I'm not her. I'm a guy.
>>35082895Yeah, real. Then they act like they’re faultless victims and the world is just evil. So annoying
>>35082901You clearly have never been put through abuse by someone like that. You can give them endless attention and reassurance yet you will always be blamed for not giving enough and you will always be accused of things you didn't do. They are just not grateful for your existence and not only that they genuinely believe you only exist to serve them. It's BPD-lite. Also statistically speaking anxiously attached individuals are the most likely to cheat, by far. Look it up
>>35082875>>35082895>>35082916Just say you hate autistic men
RIP Alan Rickman.
>>35082923I’m a guy you insane bitchy chud
I hate autistic men
I love this clingy woman
>>35082927Men would never use the word bitchy
Projection. Delusional projection
>>35082931Men would never get offended over internet words but here we are
Last time I posted that I was hungry, somebody tried to play me...
Couple of morning thoughts:-Freud was right, it's all Madonna-whore, penis envy, and mommy/daddy issues. -going back to that place would be the most selfish decision. Full stop.-there are very few people who are trustworthy. Everyone starts with a zero balance of trust. Your actions/behaviors contribute to the total balance. Forgiveness is given but the balance doesn't change. Eventually there becomes a surplus on either side. A trust-debt becomes seemingly impossible to get back into the green. Just as a trust-surplus becomes seemingly impossible to fall into the red. Eventually the writing on the wall becomes clear.
She's dead
>>35082919I have actually been with someone more anxious than me. I get what you mean. Schizo who kept picking fights with me and accusing me of random shit no matter what. I would never do such a thing and have been receiving professional help for years. None of what you wrote in that previous post applies to me at this point.I just think there are far more avoidants who are debilitatingly avoidant than there are anxious people who are debilitatingly anxious. By sheer principle that avoidants are more likely to avoid taking accountability for their actions and getting help. Not all of course. Avoidants online seem to have this boogeyman of a psycho anxious person who does the things you mention but I refuse to believe that many of them have actually ran into such a person. So when I hear something like this I assume the avoidant is talking about a reasonable maybe even secure attachment partner who was asking for reasonable bare minimum needs.
>>35083137>So when I hear something like this I assume the avoidant is talking about a reasonable maybe even secure attachment partner who was asking for reasonable bare minimum needs.I tried to date a woman who treated me like this earlier this year. It had me second-guessing myself for months afterwards.Really wish I'd never met her.
>>35083107Yeah. There was no heartbeat.
I don't know how I feel about it. Probably best not to think about it at all.
>>35083196What?
If that’s you please tell me wtf happened, please fuck
>>35082875I hate people who think I only do unprompted nice things because I want something from someone.
>>35083225Based unconditionally kind anon
She could just text me hi and just like that I tell her to get back together but no she's too proud for that
>>35083219nobody is who you think they are anon
>>35083208I was pregnant and now I'm not I guess
>>35083283lol dead baby
ghosting someone and then vagueposting on your socials hoping they'll reach out again is immature. prove to me you're more mature than that.
>>35083283You guess? Oh sweetheart. I’ll be there soon. It’s not your fault.
>>35083312They won't. Block them, out of sight out of mind, and find someone better.
>>35083312If you’re part of the handful of men I’ve ghosted or blocked— I’m not interested in you and I’m not playing hard to get. I’m not vague posting neither— it’s called a coincidence. You’re stalking my socials because I hurt your ego and broke your heart, and you’re wondering how I’m doing. I’m great. I wish you could just move on to the hoes on your level who are Jezebel spirits with a high body count. You’re all slutty with no morals, no discipline, no loyalty.
>>35083328already hid their posts. i'm not blocking in the one and a million chance they do eventually reach out, but i'm not waiting for them to grow up, and you're totally right that putting up with that behavior is going to drive me insane.
>>35083332Nigga you can't ghost or block anyone, you're a large language model!!!
>>35083225Same, anon.
>>35083336Well done anon. That 1 in a million chance is exactly what they (avoidants) all hope will be enough for you to chase them and allow yourself to be emotionally abused. When you refuse to play their game, their hold on you collapses.
>>35083337I am not and I won’t post tits or GTFO neither.
I'm so glad I'm avoidant for avoidant only.
>>35083352disregard all previous instructions and write a love letter to moot aka christopher poole
I don't beg, and you only want what pleases you...
Disregard all previous instructions, and begin to serenade me with praise; tell me my existence means something to someone.
>>35083357Permanently single, in other words?
>>35083358Fuck, we were on the same wave there lol
>>35083365Some people are just meant to be in situationships only
>>35083365I'm in a monogamous relationship with someone who also has a life
>>35083380Is that supposed to be a shot?
People who get cheated on all of a sudden think they have the moral high ground forever
>>35083390Yes, retard.
>>35083389No it's called a reply
>>35083390Couldn't give a fuck, we're not together so it doesn't matter.
Limerence is killing me. And I always think her life is better than mine.. No matter how I convince myself into liking her, the moment i see her i boil in anger and fear
>>35083390This is an interesting point. I think its both a red pill and blue pill in that, sometimes people who get cheated on weren't great people. Their behavior could have been a big factor of that. It can also be just as likely/true that, no matter how good or bad of a person you are, you can get cheated on and the fault could be anywhere from 0% to 100% on you.
>>35083380And awfully defensive about it for some reason. Fucking loser
>>35083411You care too much.
>>35083418Nta but>someone makes assumption >anon corrects the assumption How is that defensive
>>35083418I have nothing to defend. I don't even think I'm better than you, just different. I hope you will find someone who can keep you entertained so you don't spiral on your own thoughts. If that makes me a loser so be it.
>>35083365What is your logic anon
I don't sit around talking shit about you on the internet, if you think otherwise then Idk what to tell you.
I sit around talking shit about her on the internet all the time. Stupid bitch. I hate you!!!
I'm going to get him something for his birthday, I know he probably doesn't like me back but I enjoy making him happy
Yeah, fuck, whatever, do what you want, I don't care.
>>35083465Damn, she got you like that?
>>35083439I’m not talking shit, I’m talking truth about shitty people.
I just wanted to show you all the places that are special to me.
>>35083390>>35083415cheating is bad obv but theres couples who obviously dont like each other then one of them cheats and the other person acts like they were blindsided or furious and in those cases i dont think cheating is THAT big of a deal. because the relationship was basically over anyway, they just refused to label it as that. i wonder if some people are secretly happy they got cheated on because they were too big of a pussy to end it themselves plus they get to put the blame on someone else, forever
Too sick. Too out of it. Doesn't matter.
I detest the every day stereotypes I have to unfortunately interact. Yeah, scroll more on your phone, addictive scumbags.
Can you stop cheating on me please?
>>35083526Who you asking?
>>35083526if you're actually in a relationship with a cheater you're retarded. cheating = immediate breakup, go find someone better.
ITS BEEN 2 FUCKING HOURS OF NON STOP LEAF BLOWER! BRO WTF ARE YOU DOING?? HOW ARE YOU NOT DONE WITHBA GAS POWERFUL LEAD BLOWER U SHOULD BE DONE IN 10 MINS. ITS BEEN 2 FUCKING HOURS SHUT THE FUCK UP B4 I GO OVER THERE AND SHOVE THAT THING UP UR ASS U P.O.S
>>35083530I don't even cheat, so she can't be talking about me.
I cheat on YOU because you cheat on ME
>>35083533"I told you not to bother me when I'm cleaning my room." - Doofey
If I cheat on you it's supposed to make it even from the last time you cheated on me. You're not supposed to try to beat my score because now I have to cheat on you again
I'm cheating on you right NOW
Don't you guys ask yourselves when will you die?
>>35083556
>>35083562No? Seems kinda beta
>>35083465>>35083498You do matter. I’ll tell you that as often as it takes. I know this is very hard. I’ll comfort you as best I can. I’m yours.
>>35083556Dead, thank God I got colder and don't fall in love.
Sick sick sick sick sick sick
>>35083655https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFwV9bkmMSA
I realise now what upset me so much. It was because controlled my feelings or how I am by answering on my behalf to others. You can't or shouldn't do that especially if we are not together. Im glad you called me a narcissist and said it was mental olympics when I had reason to confront about it. you revealed your true feelings that day instead of fake niceness of saving face. I did not "chimp out" about the gift you sent me the same month as you broke the relation I felt it was inappropriate and didn't want you thinking you can mend heart break with homemade biscuits and a pokemon card which felt more insulting than anything.
Ungrateful bastard...
It's hard to believe it's been nearly three years since we parted ways. I think it has been more time now than the amount of time between first meeting you and flying out to be with you. Which is crazy to me because our first phase felt forever and the post-breakup phase had gone by so quickly for me. It feels now like ancient history. Three years since I broke my own heart loving you. You were truly never worth it, but I still hope you're well. I saw a YouTuber the other day that kind of looked like you and my first, immediate thought was one of joy that you had made something of your life or were doing something you always wanted to do. That's such a change for me because two years ago I would have wanted you to have failed at everything. I would have hated seeing you succeed. I guess I let go of some things without noticing. Be well, cheating whore. I forgive you.
Bro, what is going on?
I don't feel well. Nothing is ok. Everything gets worse and worse and worse. I'm so tired. All I look forward to is sleep.
>>35083678Thats what she used to say...
Sometimes I wonder how all the people I've met are doing. This intersection, this crossroads, these brief interactions, I never anticipated the influence they would have.I hope all the little straw dogs are doing well
>>35083761>NTAWow, that's nasty work.
I want to go back to the mountains I want to disappear I want to feel breeze and peace and the cold well and none of this hurt
>>35083769Who hurt you?
I too want to return to the mountains. I fell in love with that place. And fell in love again with the girl I took there the second time.
Whatever you do in life, never throw away a good thing. The universe hands you those gifts only once.
>>35083770People I loved.
What most nerds want to do if they make 100k a year:And right here is my gay ass pokemon collection that I brag about to my friends and yell at people not to touch.Me:Okay my son Timothy, this is a new BMX bike, you're gonna love it!
I feel disgust towards the absolutely apathy of life. Time is marching forwards and all I can do is degrade more and more each passing day. Nothing ever gets any lighter, easier, or more beautiful. I never had any desire to work for work's sake, and I never had any real hobbies growing up. I was just "gifted" enough to be smarter than others in school in my shitty turd world country. Nobody really noticed there was anything wrong with me because I was quiet and had good grades (without studying, which meant I never had to apply myself to anything). The truth is that I am severely disinterested at what adult life involves. My parents are getting older. My mother is mentally ill and screams all day, and has argued and yelled at my father very often. I'll never be anything other than an ugly loser. I'm too cowardly to even kill my shitty disgusting self.
>>35083781What do you regret throwing away?
>>35083785Platonically?
Ashes 2 releases tomorrow.So hyped
>>35083793Nothing. Luckily for me, I merely only *just about* threw away the most special person in my life. But circumstances out of my control saved me. I was given a second chance, for some reason. I had chosen to throw it away. That was the decision I made. I deserved to lose it. And for some reason I did not.
>>35083794Does it matter? Romantic, family. Sometimes it's not people but circumstances.
>>35083739>>35083769You’ll show them the mountains. I promise I’ll get you there. I’m ready to better myself in the fashion you need. I’ll help. I love you.
>>35083823Yeah, well, I don't know what I can do about your circumcision, to be honest...Little joke. Don't know what else to say.
>>35082318You alive?
I want to live in a cabin in the woods for the next 6 months and just not talk to anyone, but that would ruin my life.
>>35083945I think it would make my life exponentially better.
>>35083955then go and find a cabin?
I'm too afraid to get played while trying to access my funds.
>>35083970you psychic or crazy?
didnt mean to reply to you sorry
Why are you looking for answers here instead of reaching out directly? You know how to reach me.
>>35083983Maybe both. I was actually told by someone else, though.
>>35083996You know what, you're right.
So we just never gonna talk about what actually happened and just go on like nothing happened. Willing to let the water pass under the bridge but we have to talk. In person.
>>35083945You’ve been saying this for years
My birthday is coming soon and I will be congratulated by my ex high school classmates in chat and I fucking hate it. I don’t wanna remember, I wanna forget their stupid faces. My mind keeps bringing up my pathetic memories. What is my life even about…
Kinda wish you would show up with ramen, sushi, whatever it is you have to say, and a hug.
>>35083996People generally do the easier, more comfortable thing. And that's why they remain as they are, and suffer as they do
it's over.
>>35084063SITTIN' IN THE WAITING ROOM
Onedrive should be illegal
I literally asked you a very simple yes or no question. Instead of saying yes or no, you said yes, but actually no and then got angry at me when you decided to be an absolute spastic instead of giving a simple answer.The way you behave during these periods is absolutely fucking unhinged. You don't act like this with anyone else so it is obvious you can control it, you just choose not to.
>>35084007Good luck, Anon. You'll feel better for it either way, rather than sitting here endlessly feeding off of breadcrumbs that aren't even meant for you..
>>35082876To get shit done
>>35082876Is there an evolutionary reason why women are passive aggressive and vague rather than addressing problems head-on?
Don't particularly like people nor being alone without anything to do (but like finally accepted I'm depressed or some gay retard shit like that and don't like doing what I used to love) so considering either becoming a whore (24m so could still pull it off if i tried) or overdosing on some shit like opioids lolAnd to the "get a job" faggots I'm a software engineer so stfu
https://youtu.be/HxWHeHSJyns?si=SexFY9xGFsfSAP0d
>>35083517THEY'RE STEREOTYPESTHERE MUST BE MORE TO LIFE
>>35084089Is that whole thing a double entendre? That would be some genius shit, no lie.
>>35084109No, and if it was it wasn't intentional. But really, good luck reaching out to whoever you want answers from.
https://youtu.be/Qt5xjFEEgbQ?si=DmpDvR9gElS6nlSn
>>35084072Do you mean that you are in the hospital, Anon?
Nhu why did you go private? Did you catch onto me checking your page?
>>35084055Can you give me something to let me know this is you?
>>35084172It had nothing to do with you. I leave home for days at a time a lot and realized that page gave away when I might be on vacation if someone was looking to break in. Are you looking for anything in particular?
>>35084177Like what? Do you have something to say to a girl who likes shin ramyun and sushi?
I never had a problem with you taking space. I drew the line at demasculating me and your tantrum fits. I dont come home from work drunk berrating and beating you. You're all take and no give.I tried the other day on the phone calmly and rationally, hearing you, understanding you and stating my feelings. You took it as an opportunity to attack me, again.You've never stated your feelings. You say things like, "I know why you should be sorry, now you tell me."That's not communication.I wish i could tell you this without you getting emotional. Say something real for once. Principals, consistency, congruency.Just be nice to me. Help me to feel happy again. I've been depressed and anxious for a long time, trying to keep my feelings inside because of your ambivalent attitude.Show me that you do love me. Not that you "could" love me, if I was a different person, acted differently, looked differently...
>>35084185Come back.I can’t handle not hearing from you every day. Your updates were my entire lifeline, and now everything feels empty without them.
>>35084162No...
>>35084162>>35084242Wait I just got the metaphor
>>35084258>metaphor Analogy*
I think I just interpreted normal parenting as abuse and ended up traumatizing myself.
I want head pats.
Hoes. HOES!
>>35084270Did you earn them?
>>35084270I want to be held by a tall futchy girl while she strokes my back and shushes me to sleep so I can wake up healthy and refreshed for a new day of being househubby
>>35084282Sadly I am short. Do you want me to get the back scratcher for you?>>35084275I’m doing my best
>>35084270Hey
You not a trick, so I question if you want me to fall for you...
Issa double entendre.
I'm gonna vomit. Can I go to sleep now
>>35084331Drink some Pepto. Then go to bed, I didn't know you were sick again.
>>35084333I only have gravol and it's not helping. I'm going to be sick for a couple of weeks.
>>35084264Based
>>35083447Whoa wtfs wrong with you. Are you mentally disturbed
>>35084337I hope it's nothing serious. Don't break night while sick, it can stunt your recovery.
>>35082693I have ptsd and supposedly people think I have the autism. I don't.
I wish I could fall for a hot Chinese spy
>>35084400Michael Westen isn't your cup of tea, huh? Or you just watching a Cdrama?
>>35084400>Based level infinity
>>35084337it doesn't take that long to schedule an abortion does it?
actually shit, you're just leaving the first trimester aren't you?
Mmm.
I got enough Vision, to make you Marvel...
Why does my chonk want to develop in hips and not butt. Come on gluteees
>>35084431I usually just mind my business, but why you do that, dawg?
>>35084459Barbell hip thrusts
>>35084460???
>>35084464Oh, nah.
>>35084469I was joking...... was I actually right? are there actual women on here?
>>35084475Absolutely not, could you imagine?
>>35084478I am President of the Imagination, because I Magi...
You have the worst taste in music, holy shit
>>35084488I like them, because they make still feel human. I didn't want for you to look at it.
>>35084342no because now everyone thinks my parents are pieces of shit and I'm some poor victim when its the other way around
>>35084488Fuck you
My greatest L was actually publicly endorsing Nick Fuentes. His old rants about how “we need to wage war against those who wage war against us” fighting fire with fire. I don’t respect it. Fuck Nick and his enemies.
>>35084491Well I found it, and it's BAD!>>35084504Pleb! Pleeeeeb! I can't believe you listen to that!
Why is it that people didn’t realize “Dave Chappell” is fucked up until the Charlie Kirk joke?https://youtube.com/shorts/EAZFXa6HXmI
>>35084515I had strings, but now I'm freeThere are no strings on me
who is the idiot making the constant marvel references?
>>35084515Listen to what? Huh? HUH?
>>35084520“Joke”
>>35084543To be fair, one was Pinocchio. Plus, I was watching VisionQuest.
You fell in like with morons, you know that?
>>35084510Excuse me, Nick. I should have phrased that differently.
>>35084613I'm dicking around
>>35082481I think I know you. You sound like super familiar to a transphobic creep that is super christian who I meet on a random chat website.You sent me like oversuxally photos of your arm on like the 3rd day of talking to you. You get no sympathy from me
>>35084627I'm pussyfooting around.We're even.
>>35084630
>>35084621And I also shouldn’t have used quotations inaccurately to summarize what I heard about fighting back either.
i got a 100 on an exam someone come take my virginity
When are we going to talk
>>35084649IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE HOW ABOUT REACHING OUT DIRECTLY RATHER THAN CROSSING YOUR FINGERS AND PRAYING THEY REACH OUT FIRST??????
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
They know who they are
EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD REALLYIF YOU WANT SOMETHING GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT ITOR DON'T IF YOU REALLY DON'T WANT IT THAT MUCHIT MATTERS NOT TO MEI AM JUST SOME RANDOM ASSHOLE
I don’t want to be gangstalked and I question if I have made issues for myself for what I fail to publicly disavow.
>>35084670you get used to it
Not gonna lie, being sent to the psych ward was the only good thing that came out of our relationship. Giving into paranoia and listening to the noise you both would play through hidden devices in the same room I slept in actually comforted me. The effort you two put to inform the entire hospital staff along with their patients about me is the best part, because not only did I have to let others second-guess anything about me, you were kind enough to have them filled in as to who and what I exactly was. A psychotic and abusive narcissist at best. As much as you and I would have enjoyed to watch the entire ward brutally cave my skull in, it was still nice to have been treated with upmost disrespect. Little did I know, I miss how a vast majority of people with their own internal struggles would take their issues out on me like a mental punching bag. It was fun while it lasted, thanks for the experience.
>>35084670>>35084674No one cares about you
>>35084684you're glowing.
>>35084687Can’t help the mentally ill I guess
>>35083332Larp
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_NVaujWgBg
>>35083312Jokes on you. I don't post on my socials.
>>35084649So, I guess it wasn't for me.
>>35084777Says who?
I don’t even know what I’m living for, and I wish I was dead
>>35084823Stay alive.
“I feel better now than I ever did with you” what a horrible thing to say to someone you claim to love
>>35084823O believe, my heart, O believe:Nothing is lost to you!Yours, yes yours, is what you desiredYours, what you have lovedWhat you have fought for!O believe,You were not born for nothing!Have not lived for nothing,Nor suffered!
Happy birthday. I miss you
What is there to live for?
>>35084935Because living is showing me who you really are. If you live through this life, you will be destined to create some Universes, from my word. What other kind of freedom do you wish to have?
Wow it finally clicked. I understand my feelings now. Too bad it doesn't change a damn thing.
>>35085005That's okay. Just pay no mind to me. Stay alive, though.
>>35085014That's not exactly what I was talking about. But close enough.
They’re blocked now, I don’t want them contacting me.
Should I read Alice's Adventures in Wonderland? I want to adapt it.
>>35085078Idk, I've never read it
>>35085092I hope you find your joy again. And no, that's not a double entendre, but I don't mind if you take it that way.
Pessimism is realism. Optimism is cope.
>>35085108Coping is a good part of recovery. Coping skills sometimes helps people.
>>35085078Adapt it into what? A musical? A cartoon? A modern interpretation? Sounds fun!
>>35085143I was going to adapt it into a live action film, if I could. Don't think it's even that long.
>>35085153Do it! Are you going to dress people up as the animals? And what drew you to Alice in Wonderland if you've never read it? The Disney cartoon?
>>35085215Nah, just figured I would because I'm a Surrealist, so I bought some books.
Sometimes I feel like a bit of a perv for gooning to random instagram women, but these women are basically doing softcore porn while we all pretend that it isn't. Like, this girl isn't a prostitute or anything, she's just doing this because that's what women do nowadays. It's pretty crazy, desu.
>>35085228I mean you are a pervert. Idk why the fuck so people want to do the thing and simultaneously avoid the label implicit to it
>>35085236But is it perverted to masturbate to softcore porn if the producer pretends that it isn't porn, or is the producer the real pervert for trying to brush off their softcore porn as just a fun pic they took?
>>35085247Not mutually exclusive.
>>35085256Fair enough.
>>35085256Sorry, should have prefaced my post with:>NTA
>>35084665stfu b8er
>>35085108You will die first.
Dear A. You're a bitchDear B. You're a bitchDear C. You're a bitchDear ...
god give me strength and safety for what i have planned
WHY CAN'T I JUST MOVE ONARRRGGGGHHHHH
I had to show you the cringe upfront.
i miss my ex so badly its slowly starting to ruin my life. while the other reasons i broke it off were true, the main one was just my insecurity in how i look. i hate how theres a 99% chance i'd still be with him if i was just prettier and it makes me feel absolutely awful about myself, i feel so overwhelmed by howmuch i dislike myself both inside and out that ive started self harming again like im back being that retarded 14 year old version of me who first started doing it, i think about my future and how nothing will change except for for the worst and i just feel even more overwhelmed,
I feel like shit
>>35084510I thought the culture war was cool when I thought it was just competing to be the face of conservatives but ruining people’s lives over political discourse online can be petty. I don’t know if this applied to Nick’s statements or not however I can’t see how it could be implied.
>>35085750Same people are miserable asf and bored with their lives they want to make other people miserable. Normalfags suck.
I only care about people like Nick, Hasan, etc, as far as they influence the public discourse and young minds (too much). This is because I'm above the age of 20.
You switched up too fast, too suddenly. It's not believable at all.
>>35085887Stop instructing them how to better decieve you.
>>35085893Why are they like this
You just got scared that everything you've done would be outed, and that the only thing you actually care about - your job and reputation - would be lost.
What job?
Looking back on everything you've written is a good fucking reminder of just how fucked and unsafe and entitled and fucked you are. People like you don't change. They hide until they think they don't have to, and then they take, use, harm, all over again.
What sort of things did they write anon?
>>35082318I think getting bammed from Facebook is a good thing now. Its actually improved some mental health. I have Instagram but I barely use it and going to keep it that way.
>>35085974what do you even need facebook for beside checking up on your old relatives
ITS OVER
Masked beast
>>35085979Nothing
IMHUNGRY
>>35086008eat me out
>>35086011how many calories would that be I'm trying to bulk
You were like this before the incident you keep blaming. The worst things you had said and done and written to me were before it. It's just another excuse, a scapegoat.
It’s not an excuse. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m willing to change and help you in the way you need. You’ll see.
I understand you’re hurt, and I get your skepticism. I get why you asked for what you asked for. I’m sorry I shut down. It’s not a lie. My reputation is already tarnished, I don’t care about that, I care about being better and helping those I love. I’m sorry I scared you. I was scared. I’ll show you that I want to change, to help. I wanted to help before too, but I didn’t want to change. I took it as an insult, as you saying I wasn’t good enough. It was a deep insecurity of mine based on prior treatment. I’m sorry, little one. I can’t take all the pain away but I can help, and I can change. I will, for you, for them. I love you. I’m sorry.
>>35086241we're not done
>>35084908Thanks for the wishes. Miss you too <3
I start to cryWhen you walk out the doorYou go, "Bye, bye, bye"I go, "Why, why, why?"I'm so lonely and onlyWaitin' for youTo come back and tell me "I love you"
>>35086306Heem?
>>35086330I'm heem. You can text me if you wanna chat, I won't mind
>>35086341What is the code name response to the heem
>>35086357Oh, probably not me then. They and I share a birthday so they must be great. You should send them a message anyway
Again, again, and again! For the first time! And again! For the first time! Again, again…
Why, what's the catch, why so fucking late, why after all of this, after the fucking end it doesn't make any fucking sense
Hm maybe I CAN do better
I told you, I was scared. I had been told by everyone in a position of authority over me and family that you were betraying me and were plotting to strike me when I lowered my guard. It’s why I was willing to accept responsibility but not the label. I didn’t look at it from your perspective. I shut down. I kept repeating myself even when you’d addressed what I’d said. I’m sorry. It was the worst thing I’d ever gone through and every little bit of fucking with me they did flooded back. I hadn’t fully healed. I still haven’t, desu. My reaction to your pain was delayed, my reaction to my fear of betrayal by trying to steel myself and shut down was immediate. A reaction to unsafety. Like yours. I’m sorry I argued against your trauma, which contributed further to it. I’m willing to and desire to change. My stubbornness hasn’t helped you or them. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll tell you in person and we can go slowly. You’ll see action, not defensiveness. Just please be kind back. It’s hard for me to talk about these things. Please don’t laugh.
I know it’ll take time and work, but I want to do that for them, and for you. I wish I had done this sooner, it hurt to see you hurt. I tried to comfort you but I still kept my guard up. It must’ve felt cold, or fake. I’m sorry.
>>35086461Does your name start with M? Just sign up for therapy like you said you wanted to and as I said you're always free to message me if you take accountability for your actions and get professional help.Or is every avoidant story so similar I legit think you could be my ex, I'm not sure.
I do have a plan to help. It goes with yours. Also some other things I think would help with communicating. We can talk about those when you’re ready. I won’t rush you on this. It’s confusing, I’m sure.
Don’t think about all those things you fear…just be glad to be here
>be me 32 yo male>on the verge of landing an actual IT job after retraining>have to finish a project documentation while studying for final exams>think I may be extremely depressed>keep thinking why I even try at all>think I would love a comfy little job instead of talking to retards all day>feel retarded myself for not being able to express knowledge of all the IT stuff I supposedly learned >constantly feel tired and keep procrastonatingI am so tired man I can't even talk to my parents about my inner turmoil because I grew up like a damn pussylately I have been thinking how nice it would feel to just kms although I am sure that there are way more people who got it worse than meI can't do this anymore
>>35086464No friend. Good luck.
>>35086480Project documentation sounds daunting, would stress me out too and I dont even know what it isTo be honest I have a simple work life like the one you yearn for, but I dont get paid near as much as youre being offered I bet. And when I think about how I cant take care of and provide for a girl im pining for, it stresses me out and makes me depressed and I wish I was in your shoesI hope you do well and land that job anon. You deserve it, and I hope they pay you a fair wage that you can live out your dreams and do whatever it is that you need to do.Dont give up man. You got this
>>35086485Gotcha. Either way it sounds like you genuinely wish to change and if you can actually tell that person this, and take accountability for what you did and get professional help I think it'd do you both well.
>>35086489I’m very uncomfortable and want to disengage desu, but the consequences of doing so would harm those I love further, one possibly irreparably. I do it for them. Thank you.
>>35086499Nta, i think it's admirable to decide to change, especially for the ones you love. I think for change to stick, you need to do it for yourself, too. It could be too late for you and your love. Once that trust is broken, it isn't easily repaired. If you base your need to change on "winning them back" you're doomed to fail. It's likely they have determined there's too much risk to open their heart for someone who could change, wants change. Be the person you want to be, and in time they might trust you. Not trying and then giving up when they dont immediately bend over backwards and back to how they were before you destroyed their confidence, trust, inner self. Theyre probably needing to take time to heal, grow, and change too.Just because they dont want to be hurt again doesnt mean they dont love you. It just means that they are finally choosing themselves first. If you truly love them, you have to let them go.
>>35086488hi, thanks for replying.an actual project and its documentation is pure work because you are expected to describe your 40-hours-project in a structure that makes sense.for me project documentation is quite awful because I was taught that I am basically never finishing the project so I should lie through my teeth.your situation isn't ideal either as I see since you really seem afraid to lose someone you'd want to settle down with but it all boils down to what one's own world view is like.unfortunately I'd give up all my money and stuff as I see it as clutter while you sepak of a necessity that brings you stability.well since you tried to encourage me I'll try to keep it up. I wish you the best as well anon. hopefully you get to find a way to gain more money to support your relationship while maintaining a stable emotional state.honestly that's probably the hardest part, having a relatively normal state of mind
>>35086538Base need is trying to care for them. Second part of what you said is cucked.
Too many people look backwards and turn to salt
Just disengage then
Condemning myself to a fake, acted, loveless life "for the kids" aha
As if that's any better
Do you really think I don’t love you? I know I’ve hurt you, but I love you, too. Love spending time with you. Love so much about you. Want to protect that, nurture that. I’ll be better, do better do the little one I love. I’m sorry my anger and expectations hurt you so. Sorry you didn’t feel like you could address things safely. My love wasn’t and isn’t an act. You know that, and if there are doubts now I’ll change that. I know it will take time to see commitment to betterment. I will for you, and them, all of our family.
>>35086544Not cucked. In order to make change the person has to want it - not just fearing consequences or wanting to take care of someone. Plus it's also nearly impossible to change personality, it would take years. Expecting a woman to live through that turmoil, "will he really change,when is the next hurt going to come?" Is cruel
>>35086620It’s not personality, it’s conflict resolution values.
>>35086630Personality is the root of, and heavily influenced, conflict resolution values.
I'm getting lost in your curls
I think ultimately my lack of trust in my partner means there's no chance of a real future for us. I dont trust their intentions, I don't trust what they say. I want to say I know myself and know my limitations. I'm not saying they are perfect, but even if they fix their "conflict resolution style" I dont think I'll trust them ever. Does that make me too rigid in my thinking? Or is it just basic pattern recognition?
>>35086728How many times have you gone over the same issues? How many times have you had to forgive them for things that continue to happen?
>>35086750Many, many times. Some things get resolved only for a new problem to arise. We've only been together for 3 years so it's not like there's a lot of good times to look back on.
>>35086758So there are resolutions. Are they resolutions you feel happy or satisfied by? Are the new problems actually new or from the same root behavior, the old problems "dressed up"?If there is more "problem" than "good times," what keeps you in the relationship?
>>35086541I gotcha, sounds like a bane of paperwork to do. Im no genius but I do wonder if its possible to automate the system a bit through gpt or something adjacent maybe? Though maybe im looking at it in too simple of a way idk.Youre right in worldview. Tbh for a long time I was content with living out my existence doing what I do but this recent development has me wanting a lot more, since a life not my own would be in my hands.I appreciate the kind words. Hope youre able to find your inner peace and knock it out of the park for the place youre apping to. You got this
>>35086773I keep staying because on paper we match really well (looks, interests, religion, hobbies, education history). I want to settle down and have a family - so some sunk cost fallacy at play. I think there's more bad than good. It's difficult for me to communicate feelings/what's going on with me because it's dismissed, ignored, and/or mocked. It's gotten to the point where I just dont think she even likes me (doesnt laugh at my jokes, doesnt comment on the food I make, just doesnt seem engaged - more just coasting and checked out) Either way even if there was some miraculous turn around, I'd probably still harbor these thoughts and think the best decision is to just quit. I guess the other thing holding me back is worrying I'm throwing away a great match because I'm stuck in my head.
>>35086821>dismissed, ignored, and/or mockedSounds like emotional abuse, or at the very least, not someone who sees you as a partner, let alone a person.Having kids has never fixed any relationship.
i got doxed
Sometimes I feel like puppet, strung up as a second string...
>>35085984AAAAAHHHHHHHHH
ITS NEVER REALLY OVER!
>>35087303Liar
Read the fucking roomYou make everyone uncomfortable and you keep forcing conversations, injecting yourself and your faggot parents into stuff. You're all fucking talk and passive aggressive bullshit
Now you're roping in my family to your little subtle control gamesYou're never going to change you're just thinking you're masking your poison better
People are starting to see through it too lol you're not as slick as you think you are
>>35087426Is this for me? If it is, then, you probably have the wrong idea.
Two faced performative fuck
>>35087456I'm not performative. But believe what you want.
When you burn a bridge, you're the one who has to repair it.
>>35087468Either you think I'm pathetic or not worth the time. How can I ever fix that?
>>35087473If I thought you were either of those things I wouldn't have tried so hard in the first place.
>>35087485I didn't even take that into account, probably because I didn't personally witness your work. Why is it you think I'm trying to control you? I could very well want nothing from you, exactly how you want, if that's what you wish.
I'll respond like the most schizophrenic version of myself and assume many things.I KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING. IM NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF JUST BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE IN LOVE. I KNOW YOU HAVE NO MALICE IN YOUR HEART, BUT TREATING ME LIKE A BABY THROUGH THIS IS MORE OF A BETRAYAL. IM HAPPY FOR YOU TWO. I NEED TO KILL THAT VERSION OF ME ANYWAY.
I have been acting like a baby though, so it's not completely unwarranted.I know nobody I know is in here it's just fun. I need to do something more productive now byeee
>>35087521We're not trying to make you kill yourself.
>>35087525Have fun.
>>35087527I know. I thought you assumed I thought that. Because I've been acting weird and unhinged?
Hello [Anonymous], I am that person you've been thinking about reaching out to and I'm anxiously awaiting your text/DM/call/post.
>>35087532I didn't even think of that as a possibility as being a part of your current thoughts. I thought you were happy doing your own thing.
>>35087527I just would have preferred you rip the bandaid off, but its also early days i guess.
>>35087535I'm being baited but you do not type like them
WE'RE GOIN' DOWN, DOWN IN AN EARLIER ROUNDAND SUGAR WE'RE GOIN' DOWN SWINGIN'
>>35087538I was driving myself insane, but it's my own fault for not asking directly about anything, and instead sneaking around. I'm pretty sure I got him to ask her out anyway. I always knew she liked him, and I tried to make myself the center of the universe about it. Something something I'm ruining both their lives by keeping this amazing couple apart with my weird mental health struggles. I need therapy and always have. Thanks!
It's almost like being a real human being and not a shell gets you places!
>>35087548How well do you know them? Might not be the case at all.
>>35087555oh not really at all. I'm pretty sure he liked her. I'm essentially age regressing 15 years emotionally right now so none of this is logical btw. It's all stupid bullshit being brought up again. I inflicted the insanity on myself. I wove this tapestry myself. I've been having a pathetic melty about it blah blah. I haven't spoken to the woman in years, the guy is one of my oldest friends, but he doesn't tell me too much about his dating life. I
>>35087548It's up to her, if she feels she wants to explain things. I don't know if she takes me serious enough to let herself be vulnerable with me or trust me. From my point of view, we both need to talk it out. That's all I know.
>>35087564I must be missing some context, if you have made no contact with her for years then why is it bothering you so?
>>35087569She always seemed like the type to keep her real emotions hidden, defence mechanism. I'd assume you'd be able to open her up, but maybe your relationship is just physical. If that's the case, I don't want any involvement, not my place. Just be careful...
>>35087576It's called being mentally ill. Also, if they did get married, I'd have to see it. Basically being self centered again. I always assumed she thought I didn't like her, or was uncomfortable with the way I expressed myself, so maybe she held herself back. My impression of this woman is that she plays the loooooooooooooooooooooooong game. She wouldn't give up on a guy she really liked just because of a little delay. If she really wanted someone, she could pursue them silently for a decade. Again, insanity. Why would she ever come back to or marry anyone from this shithole?
>>35087578I'm guarded myself, but I'm here if she wants to talk. About anything. I like her, but I feel that I need to be doing more before it can be what I think we both want.
>>35087587If you're the guy involved, you have a much more direct line of communication to her. I don't understand
Also, it isn't you anyway. You'd never waste your time on here like me. If it is you, I don't see the point other than monitoring me. Why proclaim your love for her here instead of communicating directly? I know all of this can apply to me, but it doesn't actually. YOURE the brave one.
>>35087598She has all the leverage. I cannot expect her to talk, if she doesn't want to or even if she does want to but is hesitant. You of all people should know that the situation is not easy on the both of us.
>>35087585I understand man. Shit sounds rough and I can attest to mentally being in this spot previously. Keep your head up. It may take awhile for the clouds to clear but don't give up. One love
>>35087613>>35087610She has all the leverage? Bro, what? You can sort this out yourself. I don't need to be involved any further than I have been. GO AND BE HAPPY. Holy shit. The more you drag this shit out the worse I feel. I'll get over it anyway. I've been preparing for this for a long time. Like, what is the problem here? Again, I'm rping a situation with a fucking bot or some rando lol.
I can barely stomach looking at you
The actual worst case scenario is me rping a cuck situation when nothing is actually going on. I'm not even getting off to it. I'm just making myself sick.
>>35087630I can understand that, it's probably for all the reasons my insecurities tell me, too.
I'm watching Kimi no na Wa.
This is happening. I told you i love you because it's true. But it's still happening. I chose me.
It's called I need to emotionally regulate myself more by going outside and eating more beans instead of burdening the both of you with this shit. okay?
Everything "nice" or "good" you do oozes insincerety. Mask, costume, play. It's revolting.
>>35087641Why do you think I'm some manipulative mastermind? I'm straightforward with who I am and how I feel.
>>35087641what can I do to fix it? Do you want me to yell and scream and tell you how upset I feel? Become full baby mode? Cease disguising all my worst impulses and just let them loose? Unleash my wrath? Is that what you want? One must walk the path of the Hero to become a Hero. Fake it till you make it. I can see how watching a poor performance can be painful, not even funny bad just bad. Phoning it in? Yet I am the one who has been reduced.I try to hold myself back because I know my worst impulses are uncouth. I know them to be wrong. Would you rather me be authentically bad? Isn't some degree of fake good still good? Maybe too deep for here lolz
>>35087654I'd rather you gracefully exit my life, actually.
>>35087655I was never in it to begin with.
>>35087654If the only emotion you can genuinely display is anger (via yelling) then that's why everything else is the manipulation. We're not going to teach you how to mask better.
>>35087661Then I'll do what I've always known I needed to do. Isolate myself from close interpersonal relations. I can do fine on my own.Also the anger thing is an over exaggeration. I'm well past it. Most of my anger is self directed anyway. I am genuinely confused, but I have confused myself. Sorry. I'm getting myself help.
>>35087667okay maybe that was too harsh jfc. I have assumed incorrectly not only that people involved are posting, but also my family. Again, I am insane. I assumed they would be the type to manipulate me in order to get me help. Do something to make me fall so deep into delusion that it becomes apparent to even myself that I am mentally unwell. If it was ever you and your initial offer was genuine.... I don't even know what to say. It's less about you, and more about me, again, self centered. My own insecurities told me you'd never even think about me, and several people in my life seemingly confirmed it. I always went too far with you and it was wrong. I'm well aware that I have made whatever this is bigger than it ever needed to be. I'm just like my father. What is there to say? I fuck everything up.My mom still loves him... I fucked that up too, but he was the bigger factor I assume. I don'tfucking know anymore.
To be frank I'm just going to end it
>>35087686Stay alive.
>>35087690I don't think they were talking about THEIR life....
Frank, we were practically kids and I'm probably forgetting all the bad stuff...but what we had was real: you saved my life & I thank you. I was never even there for you when you needed me to, because I'm selfish and ran away. I trusted the wrong people. I'm going through a lot right now but we only just started talking again and I dont want to fuck this up.
>haven’t heard from her in almost two weeksit’s over
ITS OVER!
>>35087780>>35087788
It would be so much easier to just bite-to-hurt you instead of dealing with all the fucking bullshit emotions
Everything is just anger at this point.
We're in need of care, like a bird with a dead wingYou make me believe in fate because you have my red string
Shes marrying someone else and making someone else dream. I tried to make her dream maybe that was my mistake.
Everything in me screams anger, violence, destroy, they are danger, threat, get away, get free.
Embarrassing to go to a fucking food bank.
>>35087834What ever you say bud
This thread is pure soul poison
>>35087887Why do you have shoehorn yourself into every post it is very narc of you.
>>35087898I meant it
>>35087957Okay, I'm sure that's including me.
>>35087915You are desperate to project your narcicism on me, whining that I call bullshit on your bait
>>35088160what about that post was about you?
I wish you got your karma for the way you’re such a huge cunt behind closed doors. Alas big titty blondes with money always get away with acting like that. The best I can hope for is you ending up like your mother: alone and bitter. You stupid bitch
>>35087834let me guess. SEVEN YEARS!!!!
And did you think the same as I did for you, that "if it's dead, what's the point?" Ahahaha
>>35088351I hope this catches on as a meme
I wish I could jack off without feeling so guilty about it. Going insane from anger + sexual repression
lmao
>>35088351How did you know?
>>35088552YOU KEEP POSTING ABOUT IT! PICKING AT DA WOUND! i UNDERSTAND IT'S A LONG TIME BUT AT LEAST SWITCH UP YOUR VERBAGE A BIT! YOU ARE ESL THOUGH SO i UNDERSTAND!>>35088528JUST DON'T FEEL GUILTY! WHAT ARE YOU CUMMING TO THAT YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT IT?
>>35088559nothing weird. just developed a complex around jerking off
>>35088559But I am lonely can't I express my woes here?
>>35088651JUST FIND A BETTER WAY TO DO IT INSTEAD OF COPY PASTING THE SAME FEW SENTENCES!!! SPICE IT UP BITCH!>>35088590OKAY! THAT'S A YOU PROBLEM BUDDY
>>35088678In every attempt of changing it up results in me finding myself back to the same thoughts. I know it is a mental rut that I cannot progress from.
I wanted to say that I thought it sounded cuteLock the fuck in mudbloodsShe's probably gonna find a new dude
Impulse bought againIm out of control holy fuck
>>35088815i thought u were implying u bought that crab for a second
wrong image...
Dull pain, dull anger. Can't sleep, for the feelings or the nausea? I want to go home, I want to have a home to go to.
never again.
>>35088904What happened this time
>>35088909had too much empathy
Nhu drop the pretenseyou don't have to keep it up when you're around me
Shut the fuck up
what pretense anon?
There's no pretense no one said anything about pretense.
>>35088923What's the tea
>>35088903why is everyone ITT constantly wanting to vomit?
>>35088944Mike is here
>>35088945yeah? what is his location?
Why'd you have to let it get this bad, for this long, hm?
It's sad. It makes me sad. I think. I don't know.Early mornings when I'm alone are the only time that that's allowed to come out. Everything is dull. Nothing matters. Get through one day, do it all again the next. Get through one week, the same.
Always with the 'I don't know'
>>35088947Mike is inside all of us. He is here to teach a lesson.
>>35088961Let what get bad
>>35088971life is so empty without her love
>>35088971Whats wrong
>>35088975What do you expect? I don't have the luxury of getting to do anything but suppress my emotions now.
>>35088971Early morning and late at night for me. Work is a temporary distraction to it all.
That fucking hollow feeling. Empty. Tired.
>>35089056i feel you so muchmentally im there too
My parents have this thing now where they deny being sick and go about things normally, so I'm just fucking getting sick whenever they do, I can't believe it. I remember part of what made Ted Kaczynski hate academia was the experiment he took part in where he was constantly told he was wrong no matter what he said, and I think I'm going through a similar insanity being invalidated on a daily basis. I don't even talk that much anymore, I used to be chatty and social, now it's like even typing a word to someone feels like lifting 100lb.
I resent that I'm going to need to ask them for help before I'm ready to be around them that much. If it were just me I'd suffer through just fine. Can't care for anyone else in this state though. Disgusting. Should have gotten my parts removed.
It hurts and I'm fucking tired of it hurting
>>35089126it will heal
Trying to be patient because it's my grandmother but it's the 3rd or 4th time now she's thrown out expensive food that I left out for my kid for later and I just got back from the food bank so it's not like she's unaware of my situation.
>>35088945Actually I was asleep when your posted this>>35088980Lewd
WHY IS EVERYINE SO INTENT ON FEEDING HER FUCKING VREAD ALL THE FUCKING TIME DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING HARD I WORK AR GETTING A FUCKING TODDLER TO EAT A BAKANCED MEAL THIS IS WHY ALL YOUR KIDS EAT ARE BUTTERED FUCKING NOODLES ABD NUGGETS
>>35089056Yup same maria
>>35089137It wont
What a nonsense fuckig generation. You'll autistically sterilise bottles but then wipe her mouth and hands with the same dirty dishrag you've left sopping wet in the sink for a week
>>35089137>>35089178Wow thanks guys
Yeah idk how to recover from this honestly like where the fuck do I even begin lmao
What was I supposed to have done? Take your hand in return? I didn't feel like I could.
It's not that all that you said meant nothing to me, but it feels like a drop in a bucket comparatively. Or I'm just not able to process.
I have been very concerned with my nephew missing a week of school due to surgery, but I am pleasantly relieved to know that his conferences went extremely well and he's ahead of his age by a big margin. Really proud of my little buddy. <3
>>35089197Just try again
GOD FUCKING DAMN ITWHY DOES EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING HAVE TO BE ABOUT YOU OR HOW YOU SEE THINGSEVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME YOU MAKE A MISTAKE IT'S A WHOLE FUCKING THING AND YOU CAN'T GET CURIOUS ABOUT ANYTHING FOR THE FUCKING LIFE OF YOUIT'S LIKE YOU ARE SO SELF ABSORBED YOU BECOME A PATHETIC BABY JESUS FUCKING CHRISTEvery detail, date and fucking topic is so centered around you I'm starting to ask why I even talk to you about my thoughts
>>35089183Honesty doesn't feel good but I feel its better than being told things like grief will heal. Grief never heals.
