>>35083282
I'm (32M) not interested in sex.
I just have a friend (24F) I selfishly want to platonically cuddle with and do small activities with like reading, movies, and talking about her day. She's giving me strong signs that she wants me to advance on her (smiling with eye contact, seeking conversation, touching me, laughing at my awful jokes, and just straight-up saying she loves me frequently and wants me). My issue is, I don't find her cognitively engaging. She doesn't really have hobbies or recreation. I want to be able to offer her physical and emotional respite, but I'm concerned I'm not interested in her long-term, and I don't want to sully her lack of history with men for a man who may be more interested in her.
Any experiences with with this?

>>35083355
>trying to sabotage it
ehh not really, misattribution on my part.
wasn't a huge drop off in opportunity but noticeable change in people's eagerness when talking.
this way I avoid their anger/the headache of explaining things if we exchange socials (gotten blocked a lot bc WTF you have a gf!)

living together is a big impact though. have to schedule around when my gf isn't home or ask the girl to host (usually not possible)
think I'll remove my pic with her at least, but keep it mentioned in bio. foids don't like seeing other women happy
I'll blog less after this, my b

>>35083428
>selfishly want to platonically cuddle with and do small activities with
do you mean someone else, or that's what you want to limit your friend to?

I think it's natural she finds some comfort in you given the relationship and age gap. obviously physicality will make her more attached, but at 32 you're probably more "stable/secure" than she or her peers are, heightening it further.
was in a similar FWB relationship, but only 2 yr gap in uni. I was barely a "friend", but she didn't have anyone else except her MtF GF.
made it clear many times we're just FWB, ignoring the "ILYs" or replying "ILY as a friend".
might accidentally be an asshole but if you think she's getting dangerously attached, know when to cut things off

>>35083261
No, I call it when there's actual emotional cheating, you're having a meltdown for no reason when you don't know the full story at all, just let it rest man.

Stay calm and composed when she is angry not try to fix her. As soon as she lets it all out you then decide if you can relate to it to fix it. If all else fails remember you are human and it is what it is.

I asked this in atoga the other day but got no feedback so I'll try here.
>ladyfriend is going through a series of rough life events
>shes busy with all that, know her enough that she needs space to sort everything out
>want to reach out but dont wanna be a bother to her
Is there anything I can do in this situation or do I just let it ride for now? Would like to do something nice to let her know I'm thinking about her but its probably not appropriate for it yeah?

>>35083601
You have to understand if she snaps at you it is because she is in pain not because she hates you okay? Like men can extremely cold-hearted, women can be extremely emotional. It is best when you talk to her you don't over philosophize with her like you do with your friends as they hate that. The best answer is the simplest and the one that is the most compassionate okay? Do not overload her and if she appreciates what you said that is good enough. Most importantly accept she has to work through her emotions not get frustrated if you can't make her happy. If the smoke settles and time goes on peacefully and she relaxes in the end with no quareels, you are good.

>>35083282
>https://www.youtube.com/@HealthyGamerGG
>https://www.youtube.com/@YourWingmam

do you guys genuinely think those are good videos

>>35083639
Yeah, seems easy enough. Keep it simple, keep it comfortable, and accept that I am not in charge of fixing her problems

I went out to the bar for a friend's birthday, and he brought his gf and a few of her friends along with us. While there I feel like I hit it off with one of his gf's friends, we were talking for a while alone at a table while everyone else was dancing and when the waiter came over she bought a shot for me before I could even pay for it. When we went to the bar together later to get another drink apparently one of my friends asked the gf whether her friend was into me, and she apparently said something about how I was so beneath her friend, and that there was no chance she'd like me.

I kind of have 2 questions to ask for advice here. The first question is whether I'm possibly misreading the situation and could she just be being friendly by buying the shot. The second question is if she does like me, should I be concerned about her friend (my friend's gf) trying to get in the way of us/talk me down?

>>35083282
that girl would look better if she put on a little weight
fuller cheeks, bigger boobs

>>35083428
>not interested in sex
>I don't want to sully her lack of history with men
>Any experiences with with this?
nope, 2gay4me

>>35083748
1. maybe, but it seems like she's into you
2. yeah, your friends gf is a real bitch to say something like that about you if you're a normal enough guy and weren't acting inappropriately

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>>35083740
Be careful with mama bear okay.

It seems I have a date lined up in 2 weeks with a friend. I recently asked her out and she told me she was out of city, but she was eager to go as soon as she is back
Any recommendation I should take? She's not actually part of my main friend group, she's more a friend of a friend, I've seen her in groups no more than 10 times I think, in the span of 1 year.
I also remember that this first friend already hinted to me that she liked to talk with me when we first met, I didn't do anything back then because I was already with another girl...

How do you go about the texting game? It feels like you have to be able to get their attention and keep it trending positive in like 5 messages without them getting bored. Offline there just isn't as much pressure because you have more time to demonstrate yourself without being unnatural.

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I am telling you all this now, it is foolish when you see a woman compare you to how much of a problem you are like most of the men she dealt with to say that you are an awful person because of that. The right response is to say you are just as human as them and make mistakes like them. You have a human side think of that not that you have a monster side.

>>35083789
>yeah, your friends gf is a real bitch to say something like that
She's just one of those people who act like a bitch and play it off by saying they're 'cunty' or whatever, it is what it is.

It's also possible that that was made up, the guy who told me that also likes the girl I was talking to (though he denied it before, during, and after that night) and he was making off-colour comments/jokes about me in front of her the entire night, to the point where other people started noticing.

Is the best course of action just to play it cool and pretend like I didn't hear anything?

>>35084184
>play it cool and pretend like it never happened.

Do it firmly not like you got beatened.

>>35084213
How do I ask a girl I've met like this out? I've seen her a couple times but this is the first time we spent the entire night together. I've hooked up with girls I took from the bar and gone on dates with girls sober but I've never had much luck when I meet them while out at the bar. Do I just ask her for her contact then go from there? Or should I just figure out something to invite her to and ask her next time we go out together?

>>35084230
When you do it being honest about yourself and her it gets easier. You approach her like you are a stranger in her life who she has to know better. While with guys relationships can be jumped, with women they need to be built. It's not gonna be bad, but it's gonna take a lot of hard work. I know this is gonna sound counter intuitive, but try being her friend at first so that she can ease up to you. Yeah there are guys out there who can get a blowjob from a girl's car window, I get that, but you got to play it tougher than them. This girl can get any man she pleases anon. I will say, do not fucking get bitter! If you get bitter you will fucking humiliate yourself.

>>35084230
And that guy who humiliated you, that is your competition. You got to stand out okay. I'm gonna warn you too, she may be a bit superficial with you so do not take it to heart.

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why the fuck do I always end up as the trusted guy friend for women that are already in a relationship?

I keep hitting it off with women that are in committed relationships and it's really starting to get fucking old.

I'm not a sounding board because they always ask me open ended questions and have genuine interest in what I have to say, they're not waiting to start talking again.
I know they aren't lying about having a BF so I know they aren't friendzoning me. (and their relationships have been going on longer than since I knew them)
It's hard to express the nonverbal parts of how we talk but these women truly, genuinely, appreciate my presence and are eager to learn more about me, BUT THEY ALWAYS HAVE A BF WTIH SOMEONE ALREADY.
I read lots of reddit threads about what it is like to be ugly, and I can't relate to any of that. When I read the threads about being attractive, I experience those things from time to time, so I know I'm not ugly.
The last time a woman was rude to me was in the 7th grade (I am 35).

Fucking hell, three days ago I had a 30 minute conversation with a coworker only for her to casually mention her boyfirend and then continue on with genuine interest in me.
Why am I always the trusted and valued guy friend and never the boyfriend? what am I doing wrong?

>>35084230
>How do I ask a girl I've met like this out? I've seen her a couple times but this is the first time we spent the entire night together
Will you see her at the bar again? Maybe ask her to dance so you can get her warmed up with some touching and flirting then try to kiss her there? If that goes well it should be less awkward to get her number for another date or try to take her home

>>35084372
You got to challenge the world anon.

>>35084372
>I keep hitting it off with women that are in committed relationships and it's really starting to get fucking old
You're the next guy in line, it's just what women do. It's not necessarily a bad thing for you other than causing frustration because it sounds like you're overinvesting emotionally before determining they aren't available, so stop doing that. One way is to just ask them out really early after meeting them if you don't want to ask if they have a bf.
>I had a 30 minute conversation with a coworker only for her to casually mention her boyfirend and then continue on with genuine interest in me
Who cares? The point is after you find out they aren't available to not let them mine you for attention

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i didn't think i'd try dating this semester after the shitshow i had during the summer, but this girl i've been talking to is making me feel things
>ESL, spanish first language
>short and cute
>president of club that i manage
>have a study "date" today
>more talking than actual working
>we're both laughing and smiling at each other
>she's opening up to me about the shows she watches and sports
what do i do next? she seems into me and i was thinking about going out with her, but i'm piss poor at flirting. i don't want to mess anything up this time

>>35084647
Honestly seems whatever you're doing is working. Just ask to hangout, get some alone time, and make a move when the time comes. Maybe ease into it with an arm around the shoulder if you're watching TV together, that kind of thing.

How do you become emotionally detached from FWB without ending it?

>>35084745
>get some alone time, and make a move when the time comes
that's the hard part, especially since i live with my parents and never done something like this before

>>35085299
You can either
>hey wanna get coffee (or whatever)
or
>hey wanna come over and hangout?

girl i've been texting daily since late august hit me with the sorry ive been busy text
after i asked to hang out again
thought this girl was different
but no, all girls are the same
what did I do differently this time?
i actually texted daily, shared daily updates
and overall was very consistent

and like every playboy knows, this never works

>>35086276
why didn't you ask her out months ago? If you did and she said no why did you keep texting her so much?

>>35086276
BECAUSE you texted her so much without going on, she got gf experience without having to risk or dedicate herself to anything.

Did you not ask her out?
Like shit if you've been talking since august why the fuck did you not ask her out by early september at most?

>>35086457
without going out*

>>35084800
stay busy with other stuff I guess

I am thinking about ending it with my fwb because it feels wrong to do all this with someone I don't care about

Never doubt a woman's humility.

Had the most perfect girl give me the look and smile at the bus stop today. And she kept turning around to peek at me in her peripheral vision. Sadly, neither of us had anything to say, and we moved on.

Plus, the other issue is, I don't wanna just assume every girl who smiles is interested, 'cause if I get it wrong, then it's like she might go "ugh this is what I get for smiling at someone and being friendly!" and I wouldn't wanna ruin that

when I was in high school there was a kid who had to carry around an oxygen bottle, wore glasses like bubbles, and talked like the black kid in malcom in the middle.

he took a super hot girl to prom wearing an amazing outfit and I still think about that from time to time

>>35084372
My best guess is that you're continuing to search for women in the same way from the same pool.

But it's also legitimately possible that it's just bad luck. I had a lot of disasters and a percentage of them weren't anyone's fault, it was just random bad luck. Like the few times when I didn't screw up, something completely out of my control would prevent me from getting a date.

>>35084800
>>35086526
The way to handle a fwb is to regard her as an actual friend first. Value and respect her as a person. And then, regard the sex as a sport. You aren't intimately joining bodies, you're having fun with a little one on one.
You can't avoid becoming close with someone you're literally being close with. But if you think about them as a friend that you're helping to get laid and they're a friend helping you get laid, it simplifies the situation.
You should care about your friends.

>>35086624
>Never doubt a woman's humility.
This is what I mean, your posts are sometimes literally like samples from a pile of "Fortune Cookie for Simps".

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>Been talking to a girl
>She knows I'm interested, she acts kinda interested but then explains me she has a bf
>I retreat and treat her like a friend since, start talking to a couple other girls but not much luck

>2 weeks ago, on friday, she suddenly went blank, no read receipts, no profile picture, no last online, she went full private, didn't answer my casual message that day which is weird and out of the ordinary
>3 days later on Monday she slowly starts bringing stuff back up and answers me, warm and receptive so guess it wasn't because of me
>That same Monday night she sends me a "Hey..." text, if she ever wanted to talk or say something she always just sends the whole thing, this felt very different and loaded
>Was busy, didn't see it until an hour later, when I replied she didn't answer and never brought it up
>Ever since she's been even warmer and trying to integrate me into her life

I feel like she just went through a breakup or big fight, wanted to tell me about it but realized it was too soon/didn't want to seem desperate/got anxious and cold feet, aborted and has been avoiding the subject ever since.
I also thought maybe the bf told her to cut me off, would make a lot of sense considering how close we were getting, but her behavior after that hey was the complete opposite of that.
She's anxious and if this is correct then she might never finish that sentence, but my ego and self worth also kinda prevent me from asking her out when technically from her POV I believe she has a bf.
But also if I don't do anything I might get actually friend zoned and/or she might find someone else.

Am I overreading this?
Kinda feels like I fucked up by not replying asap.

>>35086648
If you’re not going to even try because you might make a woman uncomfortable for a second, you’ll have trouble making approaches like this.

>>35086740
I know, I know. I'm wasting my good looks! Anyone wanna borrow it?

So how am I supposed to approach a woman at the bus stop or on the bus then?

>>35086738
You've got to realize women like to keep their options open. So you're probably right about her bf getting jealous of you, but she doesn't wanna close the relationship opportunity. Which is to say, I wouldn't worry about getting friendzoned. What I would suggest is moving on, and if she ever becomes single, it'll be an easy opportunity for you.

You could try to steal her as well.

>>35086802
The only men who approach me at the bus stop or on the bus either have a mental disability or are on something. If you try to talk to me while I'm waiting for or on a bus I'm going to assume there's something wrong with you. Most people who ride the bus just want to get where they're going without being bothered. If you're the one bothering people you're ignoring the social protocol of the bus and are deemed inferior.

>>35086817
Hence the problem! The difference is I'm pretty good looking and constantly get looks and smiles from women in public, at bus stops, and on the bus.

>>35086820
I don't doubt that you do, but smiling at a guy almost never means I want him to talk to me. If I make eye contact with someone I'm going to smile.
Repeatedly checking you out is a bit better of an indicator.
You need to get yourself into some social situations where everyone is expected to be normal. The bus is too much of an unknown there are some really crazy and trashy people out in the unfiltered public. Get into a filtered space and women will be more comfortable giving you the time of day.

>>35086831
>I don't doubt that you do, but smiling at a guy almost never means I want him to talk to me. If I make eye contact with someone I'm going to smile.
Right, exactly the worry, and why I don't.

The problem is the bus is probably where I run into most women I'd be into these days lol, hence why I'm so fixated on being able to make the most of it. If I was meeting women elsewhere, I wouldn't care so much, like in the past, when I didn't really look at women on the bus at all. At the moment, sad as it is, it's really my best opportunity. Anyway, thanks for the replies and perspective.

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>>35086809
I was essentially moving on, friends like I said, but she was the one trying to get closer.
The reason why I didn't initiate conversations very much and kept some distance is because she was starting to offload a fair amount about her personal life to me, but always went out of her way to strictly avoid talking about her bf and relationship in these talks.
I felt we were crossing, well, probably already cleared the threshold of emotional cheating and I felt very weird about it.
She recently started mapping me onto her future life and assuming we're still gonna be talking 6ish months from now, giving me her schedule, about her work, what she'll do in x time, what we should do in february and so on, even telling me that her goal for next year was moving out and living alone, everything she tells me had a big hole where a boyfriend would be so she's either a master manipulative bitch, already clearing the way or extremely messed up.

I don't know what to do about this to be honest, I feel like having a talk with her or something is almost a necessity at this point.

>>35086841
What are some ways you could create other opportunities? I could "make the most of" some leftovers that are probably no longer good/safe to eat but I also could go to the grocery store and get food I'm reasonably sure won't give me food poisoning. Good luck out there.

>>35086859
All I know is I ride the bus a lot these days, and over the past years, I've gotten the "God I wish you would say something to me" look from several girls on the bus that I've done nothing with, and I'm sick and tired of it.

Lemme ask you something: would your answer change if it's a girl I see on the bus regularly, or at least multiple times?

>>35086875
Definitely less creepy if I have had repeated exposure to you acting normal. I'd be more willing to talk to you but would still balk if you asked for my number too quick. If you take the time to chat with me multiple times and develop a rapport I'd be more willing to consider meeting you somewhere that is not a bus stop.

>>35086891
That bodes well for me then. There's this one route where a girl turned and smiled at me right as she got off, and then the next time I rode it, she literally just stared at me the entire time, like seriously, full-on not taking her eyes off me once. Which I appreciated, she's making her interest known. But ever since I've avoided that particular time/route for when I'm ready to actually talk to her and ask her out lol.

>>35086738
>Am I overreading this?
100% yes.
You're writing all kinds of narratives and possibilities and explanations for something that is essentially a woman that you know and interact with who has a boyfriend and hasn't necessarily expressed any interest in you.
Keep contact with her since there's no reason to cut ties but stop devoting all this mental energy and effort on someone who might possibly maybe kind of be interested in you somewhat, you think.
There's roughly 4,000,000,000 women on the planet. Leave a door open for her to come through if she wants to actually express something but move on.

Where can I interact with girls? I just want some experience speaking to girls, not looking for hoes or hookups though

>>35086983
The bar.

>>35086802
>So how am I supposed to approach a woman at the bus stop or on the bus then?
The only time it ever went well with me was when something interesting happened and I made an engaging comment on it and she followed up with her own conversation. It didn't go anywhere.

>>35086817
>If you try to talk to me while I'm waiting for or on a bus I'm going to assume there's something wrong with you. Most people who ride the bus just want to get where they're going without being bothered. If you're the one bothering people you're ignoring the social protocol of the bus and are deemed inferior.
Yup. Can confirm. The one time I tried it without an ice breaker that I didn't initiate, the woman responded with "Huh?" in the tone and energy of "What the actual fuck is happening right now?" I salvaged it by apologizing profusely and telling her to ignore me while genuinely laughing at myself over it. Then casually ignoring her.

It might seem like a missed opportunity to not talk to these women but it isn't if the opportunity was never really there in the first place.

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Men are checking out of relationships at an alarming rate.

>>35086931
Might be worth it to at least try striking up a conversation and see how it goes.

The problem with this is that if it goes poorly or really awkwardly you both probably still want to ride that same bus for other reasons. I hate it when a store employee hits on me and now I feel like I need to drive a half an hour to buy cat food instead of going to the local place for a couple months. But since you're already avoiding that bus with what seems like no issue it's fine.

>>35087007
Don't take it personally. It's not you. It's the psychos who came before you on the same bus route and offered her meth.

>>35086964
>that is essentially a woman that you know and interact with who has a boyfriend and hasn't necessarily expressed any interest in you.
Well she kinda has, just not explicitly, what I said above
>>35086850
Is about 10% of what's been happening, she has gone out of her way to make time to be with me, to leave with me, to do things together, etc, and this was after the usual hints of staring and giving me her number and so on.
To be fully honest I wrote "kinda interested" just because I didn't want to catch myself writing and developing those feelings that I shut off after she told me she had a bf, which is why her recent behavior, being even more direct and that late night "hey" felt so loaded to me.


I was planning on having a casual talk about this to move on/forget all of this, irrelevant of what she says it gives some closure to recent events and allows me to go back to treating her like a friend, her text message and how she's been behaving are bringing up those feelings for me again so to not let this go on forever and avoid becoming an orbiter I'd rather have that talk.

>>35087028
I just wouldn't know what to say on a bus. Are you sure I can't go the route of asking for the number pretty quick, then running? Getting to know someone via text and then maybe coffee is so much more natural for me. Whereas trying to do multiple conversations on a bus before I ask her out, what do we even talk about? "so where you heading.... ah. so, full bus today, huh?" then awkward silence.

>>35087049
>Are you sure I can't go the route of asking for the number pretty quick, then running?
Yeah. I'm not giving anyone my number unless I've already gotten to know them a little.
If you can't have a natural conversation with her about whatever then it's probably doomed anyway.
Compliment part of her outfit, ask her if she likes some shit you like, use observation to find shit to talk about.

>>35087061
Hmm. I might need to drink three beers or pop two zanies so I can commence with the casual small talk.
>Man, these busses are always on time. How do they do it?

>>35086987
Lots of hoes there though, at least in my area. I want to interact with normal women

>>35087070
Have you considered attempting to work on your social anxiety instead of dulling it with substances?

>>35087079
It's 2026, baby.

>>35087082
Zoomers are doomed

>>35087105
To quote one ex of mine,
>Yeah, I think I like you better when you're high.

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>>35086809
>You've got to realize women like to keep their options open
Wait, is this why some women immediately tell you they have a bf while others avoid mentioning or even hinting it?

>>35087124
That depends on how much she likes the current guy

>>35087124
Generally, yes. In fact, if you hear a girl has a bf, but she never mentions him to you in your conversations, that can (though not always) be taken as a sign of attraction.

>>35087216
>>35087225
then wtf are we supposed to do about that?
bitch has a bf and isn't this a massive red flag?

>>35087232
Flirt until she's single, then swoop her up.
>bitch has a bf and isn't this a massive red flag?
Meh, only if she outright cheats. Not like they're married.

40 year old divorced loser chatting up a zoomette at work. shes got a long distance BF from college. i should just blow that up on principle, right?

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I think a coworker is emotionally cheating on her bf with me.
and as long as this only happens when I'm on the clock, I kinda like it >:)

>>35087335
What does "emotionally cheat on" actually mean? Like shes telling you she loves you or something?

>>35087338
having personal conversations typically reserved for your significant other, but with someone else while still being in a relationship.
normally it is a total brain drain for the receiver, but i'm on the clock at work and this shit stays at work so idgaf

>>35086831
>Get into a filtered space and women will be more comfortable giving you the time of day.
Despite coming from a possible women, this is actually pretty solid advice.

>>35087291
No, it's not your job to police people.


>>35087338
Deep conversations, important conversations, stuff that you wouldn't talk about with a random or even with some close friends, essentially the boyfriend/girlfriend role without the physical aspect.

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>>35087291
>on principle
what is the principle here?
the bf could be a massive piece of shit that cheats on her 24/7, abuses her, etc, the unc could be the coolest dude ever that married an evil whore, from what you say here you have no idea about the lives of these people and it's not up to you to tell them what to do, they're both adults

sounds like you're more jealous than anything

>>35087364
>>35087368
sorry i write retard. im the 40 year old. i probably have no shot with her but shes wasting her time with a bf 1000 miles away. shes in on the trad fad and ready for kids and life. gonna be 5 years before he figures his shit out if ever.

>>35087398
Then same thing applies but backwards, you don't know them, you have no idea how they are.
The BF could be moving in next year, he could be saving up, she could be about to move to be with him, etc.
There's no wasting time if they're together, even if long distance, you have zero context about it.

Keep talking to her and see what happens, but don't be resolved to do x thing in any of the two directions because it's "by principle", don't be a dick, the choice is hers.

>>35087108
Ouch. The older generations got nerfed by lead and the Internet and surveillance state will get the rest of us.

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>be me, not dating for a decade because I am a fuckup loser
>been talking to a girl from another country for a couple months
>started as some flippant flirting, no expectations, but quickly escalated into sexting and relationship talk
>A few weeks ago she started to refer to me as her boyfriend
>directly told her I have no idea how to do a LDR, but I'll play along because I like her

I like the girl well enough, but she is OBSESSED with me. Yandere-lite obsessed (which I like desu). I've never had a girl that feels this way about me. But I've always been the guy that says e-"dating" isn't dating.
I don't know where to go from here. I'm still a fuckup loser, but now I have a girl that is a couple thousand $$ and several thousands of miles away that says she loves me.

>>35087444
What country is she from? As someone that's traveled a ton, some countries def have more scammers and others have more genuine girls. Also, what site did you meet her on?

>>35083894
bump

>>35083282
>how to get women
>be black
Women aren't worth spitting on.

>>35087478
There is a non-zero chance she could see this, so I'd like to keep it as vague as possible. It isn't one of the usual scam offender countries though. Based on our conversations, I really doubt it is a scam. If so, it is a wasted effort lol, I don't have much to steal. I've already told myself if she mentions money I'm done.
And we met on Discord.

>>35087544
Evening, Moishe

>>35087554
I dont know if discord is the safest place for all that, very easy to meet people trying to catfish or rip you off, but if you have trusted mutuals then I assume its OK. Just use your judgement and be careful.
Im jealous as ive had discord since 2015 and have met zero women through it lol

>>35086457
>>35086358
nah ive met her like 4 times already and fucked 3 times
but still this shit happened

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>>35087028
>Don't take it personally. It's not you. It's the psychos who came before you on the same bus route and offered her meth.
Oh, I didn't. I get it.
Thinking about it now, I kinda had the same reaction I saw once in a movie where a woman gets gender flipped into a man and tries chatting at the urinal with her new coworker, who silently ignores her. Then she says "ohhhh.... It's like an elevator."

I was like "ohhhhh.... she's stuck here with me and just wants to be left alone."

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>>35087544

if you make a move on a woman when shes on her period or close to it (and you dont know), and she gets the ick is that it? Is that decision she made about you in that moment permanent?
Are you supposed to figure out when women aren on their period and make a move when they're the most horny?

>>35083894
>It feels like you have to be able to get their attention and keep it trending positive in like 5 messages without them getting bored.
Yeah, I refuse to play message tag over several days on the apps and just ask if they want to hangout on the first message and find it surprisingly effective

>>35087713
Are you referring to a woman not wanting to get intimate while she's having her period as "getting the ick"? Because that's not a rejection of you or your advances. It's her not being physically comfortable enough to do it.

>>35087871
No I mean more like there has been more than one time where I've talked to a girl and she got really flirty with me, handsy or sexting (with the ones online) and then a day or 2 later she said she got her period and wouldnt be around for a while, but then after she's better she has zero interest in talking anymore and acts like she barely knowns me. To me it feels like because she got her period suddenly im gross to her and she never wants to get flirty with me again

>>35087983
They rethought their moment of weakness and the period is the excuse dude

>>35088025
Its all so tiresome. Since May I've talked to 14 women, at least half of them ghosted, a quarter of them gave some excuse and never responded, and the rest gave me the "im not really ready for relationship right now" line.

>>35087646
> trusted mutuals
oops LOL, none of those. I think I have pretty good situational awareness though.
My concerns are more along the lines of how much I should be investing effort-wise into this. I worried I'm just jumping at the first girl that smiles at me (so to speak)

>>35087983
Dude, some women experience an increase in sexual desire shortly before or at the start of their menstrual cycle, even though sexual desire most commonly peaks around ovulation.
They were just being coombrained and then cooled off.

>>35088032
I was talking to all kinds of different women on a different apps for 8 months before I got my first girlfriend. You can improve your efforts, refine your approach, and try new avenues but wishing life were easier doesn't accomplish nearly as much.

I found it it got a lot easier once I realized that rejection isn't above, it's a feature.

>>35088064
>They were just being coombrained and then cooled off.
And then I'm left blueballed because nothing physical happens. They tease it and back off and then I'm left fapping at home by myself again and I'm tired of it.

>>35088064
Can you ask how you found your current gf?

any other halo-effect enjoying chads here?
my favorite part is when i start talking and the autism shatters the illusion

I seems Im cursed or very unlucky, or maybe the world changed and i have no place in it anymore. ive broke up 4 years ago and ever since, although i do get dates and go out and all, every girl apparently have or want a lifestyle that i simply cannot fit in, its always about money, its always going out a lot, and i mean every weekend, during the week, multiple times, going to caferias, restaurants, drink bars, all these fancy places, and i just cannot pay for all these shit. not to mention all the travel they want to do, its all they talk about ffs. i settled down with a girl back in december, it only lasted 4 months, i tried going along with the things she wanted to do, like travelling to her parents house (another state) every month, going out every weekend, in the end i ended up going into debt, i still am , fortunately next month ill have it all payed up, but either way, i had to break up with her, she was coming with this unreal expectation of travelling to italy and saying shit like 'dont you wanna see the world, see the coloseum, its romantic there, we got to make memories together'. but its not just her. every girl i go out with come with all the same bullshit of traveling, of restaurants. i dont know anymore. back then with my ex we were just living a quiet life, we barely went out to do this sort of thing, mostly to the same pizza joint twice a month, we usually did something at home. we broke up because i was unemployed and got a nice job at another city and she didnt wanna move and be far from her parents, we argued a lot about this, she was too much attached to her family, had this idea like she "had" to take care of them until they died, moving from that shitty town was impossible in her mind. either way.. finding a new girlfriend has been an impossible task, or maybe im just too broke. my job isnt so bad, i can spend with all my hobbies, i dont know what to do. advice?

>>35088138
>Can you ask how you found your current gf?
It's not much help but a friend invited me out to go to an event I wasn't particularly interested in and I met her there and my friend basically disappeared so we could talk all day and night.

>>35088199
>Every girl I meet seems exactly the same.
See
>>35086682
>My best guess is that you're continuing to search for women in the same way from the same pool
If you keep going for the same type of women, they're going to be similar to others you've dated. Like me with crazy women.

>>35087338
>What does "emotionally cheat on" actually mean?
I've seen a lot of idiots on 4chan talk about any sort of connection with anyone of the opposite gender as "emotional cheating". But it's more significant than that.

>>35087359
>having personal conversations typically reserved for your significant other, but with someone else while still being in a relationship
>>35087364
>Deep conversations, important conversations, stuff that you wouldn't talk about with a random or even with some close friends,
My issue with this definition is that some people fucking trauma dump and launch into this when it is not mutual and there's no connection developed.

>essentially the boyfriend/girlfriend role without the physical aspect.
This is accurate though. It's when they form a deep and intimate emotional bond with someone, usually secretly.
It's not confiding in a friend with opposing genitals.

>>35088166
I do know that feel. I've gotten the
>You're not the person I expected you to be
from girls so many times. sometimes in a positive way, sometimes negative, sometimes neutral. (I think they usually mean they expected a chad player, but they ended up with a sensitive, autist nerd)

>give girl my number yesterday
>texts me 'hi' immediately
>she looks very happy, cant stop smiling, keeps turning and looking at me before she leaves, waves goodbye
>leaves me on delivered all day, still hasn't even opened it
How to interpret this

>>35086652
And? Let him have his fun. His life is definitely way shittier than yours.
It's like complaining that that positive guy without limbs has a wife but you don't.

I once tried talking to a girl at a bus stop. It was pretty awkward. After we got on the bus, I began to have a panic attack, which manifested with me talking to myself, muttering obscenities, insults, and threats of personal harm to myself. "You fuckin' idiot", "I'm gonna kill myself," "I shouldn't be allowed to talk to anyone", stuff like that. She no doubt saw me do this and probably thought I was a crazy person. I haven't ridden that bus route at that time since.

>>35088845
Could be trying to regain the power, playing a lil' hard to get. Don't worry, she'll text you. Or you already blew it.

>>35088845
>How to interpret this
Don't.

Text a woman when you want to text her. Don't hover over her texts interpreting them. Think about them from her point of view and respond, or ask for clarification if it's unclear. Never timidly pussyfoot.

She might have forgotten that she didn't reply or maybe got hit by a bus. Theorycrafting won't help. Be deliberate and your best self.

>>35088256
>It's not confiding in a friend with opposing genitals.
>that some people fucking trauma dump and launch into this


I think there's levels to it.
Trauma dumping on a guy you trust?
Yeah can happen, nothing really weird about that.

Trauma dumping and both parties talking about it while the woman avoids ever mentioning a boyfriend, and/or her doing it while knowing the guy is interested, or her doing it while acting all close and shit, while the woman also tells her a ton of other personal stuff?
Emotional cheating.

its all about looks. game is a myth. ive never seen a non looks matched couple.

is the plain red heart emoji platonic sometimes? i am suddenly extremely confused.

>>35087444
Bruh she aint your gf, just get some nudes and chill. That shit will never work out, youre just desperate.

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>go on a single date with dream girl 3 years ago, didnt work out
>she got married last year
>might be having a kid now
>still feels like my guts are bekng blended up when I think of fumbling her
I've had a few relationships since then, I know I didnt actually know her, but it's never fully gone away, am I going to be fucked forever? Even went to therapy for 2 years. Its agonizing, and im sick of being a pussy

>>35084800
You shouldnt be training yourself to associate sexual intimacy with detachment because if you "casually" sleep around enough, youll find yourself one day incapable of (or at least more difficult to) connecting with someone when you decide to want that. You made the highest form of spiritual and physical intimacy into a handshake.

>>35089489
Sometimes. It can mean "I love it" instead of I love you.
Texting is ambiguous

>>35089846
She wasn't your dream girl. The idea of who you imagined she was is who you're pining for and she never actually existed.

I finally managed to talk to a girl on the apps that didn't ghost me immediately, however she's terrible at texting.
I just kept asking questions and coming up with new topics, while he barely did anything to push the conversation forward.
I ended up asking her out for coffee, but she said that she can't until after two weeks. I said okay and she hasn't replied to that.
Should I keep her engaged in the meantime or just wait and swipe on other profiles? I'm pretty sure if I text her some question, she will just give me a basic reply with no hook for me to continue the convo like she did so far.

>>35089986
*while she barely did
I'm not gay, just retarded.

>>35089986
>he
Freudian slip

>>35089969
Yea I know, I acknowledged that in my post, the point is it wont sink in.

>>35089986
Look bro just because she is texting you doesnt mean she is interested. Unlike the other women, she thought there may be some entertainment for her, if she really wanted to go out with you she would make herself available and be texting you back quicker. Attention is like sex for women, the more dudes shes ignoring messages from is like catnip to them. It makes them feel wanted. Sounds like you didnt give her a time place and day to meet too, which is a mistake. Women are unfortunately lazy. If she doesnt respond move on. Do not text again. You already asked her out, though not perfectly. If she was hard to talk to in the first place you shouldnt be desperate to hear from her just because youre not getting other matches. If she responds ask for her number then hit her with a place and 2 different days/times to meet there. Tbh just delete the apps, it destroys your confidence.

>>35090268
>Do not text again
Yeah, I guess my intuition was right. A part of me doesn't want to fumble it, but acting needy might make her lose interest anyway.
>just delete the apps
I delete them and then install them again in an endless cycle of despair.

>>35088199
Just never pay for shit and call them retarded idk bro im cold as ice idgaf

M25
Is it wrong to think about women as only useful for sex? but then again I never had a sex really and dont really care but I kinda like the idea of having a companion but then I learned how women are really and how you cant change the way they are and its rare as fuck to find one that is different than the rest...so idk if I should even bother or no. I am 50/50 on having kids.

>>35090754
It is how you think.
Pay for it and test for yourself

>>35090823
i dont gotta test the sex part, im just wondering about the nature of women

>>35090831
You can wonder the rest of your life

>>35090858
well yeah no shit but u said "pay" for it which I would assume indicates that i should go get a hooker which i am not interested in atm

>>35089475
Plenty of examples of beautiful hollywood actresses with 4/10 husbands. No examples of handsome actors with ugly wives

If I had quite some success dating asian girls, why can't I replicate the same thing with white girls? It shouldn't be that different, right?

>>35090754
>then I learned how women are really and how you cant change the way they are and its rare as fuck to find one that is different than the rest.
Accept the fact that you are a completely ignorant moron and attempt to improve.

The problem with women isn't what you "learned" it is. The problem with women is that they are people. If you believe an individual person is only useful for sex, then your post is accurate and you'll likely live a life of unhealthy isolation. That's your choice.

However, if you can accept the fact that women are individual human beings that you don't completely understand, then you have a shot at improving.

Men in your situation tend to find that every woman they encounter responds in the exact same way and it is often because those women are all encountering a man they don't know that is attempting to be inside of them.
Much in the same way that there's only a few very similar ways people respond to discovering a bear in their living room. It's not because all people are the same.

Btw, I'm pretty firmly advising you against reproducing as you currently are.

I Have No Heart, and I Must Love

>>35090906
pierce brosnan
also what you call "ugly husband" compared to girl, is simply not true once you discount for the population as a whole. the guy will certainly be above average looks.
>>35089475
depends where you live to be honest
where I live, the cutest girls go for guys who have it all
tall, handsome, and career
SMV is a combination of many things, and sometimes girls put emphasis on certain traits

for the majority you're right though

>>35083428
>touching me
That's it, you're golden, just go for it. Women will never actively touch a man who either A) isn't their partner or B) someone they don't consider to be a future partner

When they expect you to dance like a monkey for them, and respond with voice noted or a paragraph-long reply with a 4 word line it really just kills the whole online dating experience. Lately, I just started to ghost people who do this.

everyone talks about cancelling plans last minute but what about why someone only seems to make plans last minute?