>>35085559
depends on what thing you call terrible. But dont be retarded anon its probably not that deep and you have definitely been lied to aswell, Take the good things life sends your way and just try to be better. Dont dwell on retarded shit of the past

>>35085559
Yes, it is important for you to be truthful and honest with your partner because it is the foundation of your relationship. Also, no that's not retarded, that's literally the entire point of love and it's good to see that sooner rather than later.

If you've already lied to the partner about this, then the relationship is done and you can still tell them but it's a wrap on the long term health of the relationship, even if you go the worse route of continuing to lie or cover it up.

>>35085559
>Wouldn't that be a curel and evil thing to do?
Why? In what way does your partner suffer by not knowing? If she's going to find out anyway, then it's certainly better for her to hear it from you, but otherwise telling her is making her feel bad in order to salve your conscience. It's selfish. Keep quiet about it and *atone*: atonement is far better than confession at making you a good person.

>>35085649
>Why?
Because they don't know the real you.

>In what way does your partner suffer by not knowing?
Because they don't know the real you.

>telling her is making her feel bad in order to salve your conscience.
No, it's about letting her know the real you, which she should've fucking known from the very fucking beginning.

>It's selfish.
No, bitch, it's the fucking opposite of selfish. It's the very fucking least you could fucking do.
Finally be a fucking decent human being for once in your god damn fucking life.

>Keep quiet about it and *atone*: atonement is far better than confession at making you a good person.
Yeah keep quiet and keep lying to the fucking person you supposedly love. That's not fucking selfish at all. You piece of shit.

>making her feel bad
You know what would make her feel a billion times worse? Not fucking knowing the real fucking you.

>>35085719
>Because they don't know the real you.
And how does that make her suffer?

>>35085719
>Because they don't know the real you
NTA, but that's an impressively retarded take on it. They DO know the real you. All they don't know is the completely different person you used to be before you became the person you are now. It's a problem if you're a bad person now, and they don't know about it. But if you're a good person, who only ever says or does good things, both to her and to everyone else, then how does it help the situation for someone to know that you used to behave differently a long time ago? If you actually are a good person, how does someone believing that you're a good person make them suffer?

>>35085559
There are some things no one needs to know
In what way do either of you benefit when you tell her you went on a drug fuelled tranny bender 10 years ago

>>35085764 >>35085786 >>35085812
This is the person you're spending your life with... The actual fuck is wrong with you people?
No wonder people divorce and have relationship problems. Y'all don't know shit about each other.

>>35085786
>It's a problem if you're a bad person now, and they don't know about it. But if you're a good person
It doesn't matter if you're a bad person now or not. You're not the one that gets to decide that.
They are the ones that do, and you don't have the right to take that choice from them.

>They DO know the real you
No nigga they DO NOT...
>how does it help the situation for someone to know that you used to behave differently a long time ago?
...because you FUCKING HAVE NOT shown them the real you. You are keeping this information from them.

>If you actually are a good person, how does someone believing that you're a good person make them suffer?
Because you're fucking lying to them by not telling them the truth. What they believe is a fucking lie that you told them.
And if they were to ever find out about your past on their own, they would view you as a bad person because you lied to them.
They suffer because you took away their ability to make an informed judgement about you by not letting them know about your past.

A foundation of lies is always found

>>35085857
>...because you FUCKING HAVE NOT shown them the real you. You are keeping this information from them.

Right, because it's that deep to keep away one thing. You don't even know what it is and you are using the same word over and over again thinking how morally superior you are. Given the wording it can be soething miniscule that realy doesn't matter and the whole scene would be just to make some retard online think he is right.

>>35085857
>It doesn't matter if you're a bad person now or not.
That is the ONLY thing that matters.

>...because you FUCKING HAVE NOT shown them the real you. You are keeping this information from them.
But you have. You've shown them exactly who you are.

>They suffer because you took away their ability to make an informed judgement about you by not letting them know about your past.
By definition, you cannot suffer by not knowing about something that's completely irrelevant. Telling them, on the other hand, *will* make them suffer: that will cause significant distress. If you're a good person, and they believe that you're a good person, then what they believe is the truth; there's nothing to be gained by trying to get them to believe something that is upsetting and isn't true.

May I ask what you did?

>>35085861
It doesn't matter what the fuck it is. You don't keep anything from your life partner. Ever.

>>35085864
>You've shown them exactly who you are.
No, you fucking have not. I know one thing that you've shown me though, that you're a fucking liar.

>If you're a good person
You are not a good person. You have lied to your life partner. You are a fucking coward.

>Telling them, on the other hand, *will* make them suffer: that will cause significant distress.
Deal with the consequences of your actions, you coward. This is your fucking life partner, not a fucking dog.

>>35085895
Blud is thinkin the other life partner doesn't lie to you aswell. Even if you ever got to interact with someone who would return your affection, you would be lied to, always. Often it's just the small things that don't matter, but i guess sperg is gonna sperg and be retard for life

>>35085898
awwww, did she lie to you retard? are you butthurt from it?

>>35085901
>you would be lied to, always.
A wise man once said, you create your reality.

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>>35085559
>if I did something terrible in the past
You're going to have to tell the anonymous board what that is if you want any decent advise

>>35085994
I had sex with your mother.

>>35086482
Me too.

>>35086482
>>35086563
Me three, thrice.

The truth will come out eventually as it always does, and then the consequences will be much worse for having lied.

>>35087234
Exactly. To hell with these motherfuckers being okay with lying to their fucking wives.

>>35085719
>Real you this
>Real you that
Gay. The real you would cannibalize a child if you were starving, stranded on an island and had no more food. It's all context. If your past becomes a subject of relevance, just be honest with her, whatever. If she leaves you, it wasn't meant to be. Otherwise just live your fucking life like a sane human.

>>35087446
Sane humans don't lie to their wives.

>>35087450
I never said anything about lying you neurotic fuck. If I meet a woman should I have a log of everything I've ever done in my life to hand it to her so she can properly judge me? That's fucking nuts. Just be who you are and again, if your past becomes a matter of relevance, openly talk about it. If anything I'm encouraging you to do the opposite of lying illiterate retard

>>35087446
Here's a fascinating concept I'm sure you've never heard of before. How about you be upfront about your entire past to your wife from the very first day you meet her, and then you wouldn't have to worry about her leaving you five or ten years later when the truth comes out.

>>35087454
>If I meet a woman should I have a log of everything I've ever done in my life to hand it to her so she can properly judge me?
Yes. In fact, you should be telling her about yourself as much as possible. That's the foundation for a good relationship.

>>35087457
That's nothing to worry about. As I said, if she leaves you because you did wrong in the past, then it wasn't meant to be in the first place. If she's that quick to leave all behind from something you said she was likely gathering good excuses to leave you beforehand. If she actually loves you then it won't matter to her, as long as it's not something that would put her in imminent danger or whatever cognitohazard.

>>35087450
I have hemorrhoids

i wonder what it's like to have the correct feelings and an ironclad, uncompromising perfect moral compass

must feel pretty good and validating if it makes you so comfortable on your high horse as i've seen in this thread

>>35085559

if you build a thousand bridges and fuck one donkey is "the real you" a bridge builder or a donkey fucker

or are you a bridge building donkey fucker? if your wife married you for being the greatest bridge builder do you have to tell her you fucked a donkey?

if i have one pair of adidas pants is the real me tripaloski

tripaloski tripa tripa loski
tripaloski tripa tripa loski

>>35087489
forgot vid of the real me

https://youtu.be/QiFBgtgUtfw?is=8ihMsYxJaHu3BMiN

>>35087489
all you gotta do is be honest with your spouse namefagged anon it's honestly not that hard

>>35087498
i'm agnostic to what honesty is

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>>35087498
i'm schizo i don't know for sure what is true and not, and it's irresponsible to share what doesn't serve anybody

One thing I don't see mentioned here is how you may be offloading the conscience strain onto your partner this way. Like how people often confess shit just because they can't bear the weight of it alone but in doing so you inflict upon another person the curse of carrying and keeping secret whatever horrible knowledge it may be you are in possession of. That may eat them up from the inside or taint their conscience and all because you wanted to feel morally cleansed by confessing. So that is something to keep in mind. As other anon said you should definitely atone though.

It's an interesting dilemma actually.

>>35087489
top kek good post

>>35087688
This isn't about confessing anything to feel "morally cleansed" like some selfish little punk ass bitch. This is about basic fucking honesty and transparency to the person you're going to be spending the rest of your life with. If this was a stranger, I would agree with you. But this is your husband and wife. As life partners, you took an oath to share the burden of life together as one. Thus, whatever "conscience strain" one has, is also for the other to bear. And you deal with it, together, as one. You share everything, the good and the bad. If you can't do that then you two shouldn't be together in the first place.

>>35089590
what if you work for the cia

if you have the cornaviris and you are shitting and throwing up at the same time do you have to tell your wife that the shitty throw up toilet water splashed on your balls

>i'm not going to answer that namefag he's being silly

you are silly nigga

moral absolutists deserve to count mustard seeds

>>35089616
Look, you're missing the point of all of this. If you don't like sharing every aspect of your life with your husband or wife, that's fine. But my point is, this is just my opinion, I don't consider it a true relationship if you're not free to be open and honest with each other about everything. This is something you have to willingly want to do, not be forced to do it. It's not about, oh your partners going through something bad, so you don't want to hear about it because you don't like it. It's acknowledging that your partner is going through the bad thing, and so you deal with those bad things, together, because you love them. And personally, if my wife threw up on her vagina, I would still want to know. And I would even help her clean it. Because knowing that there is no thought that is hidden between us, or separates us, is absolutely fucking hot. And I would would be glad to watch her take a shit in the morning, because that is what true intimacy is all about. So yes, I would definitely tell my wife about my vomit toilet water balls, not because I have to, but because I would love to. And she would love to hear about it as well, regardless of how disgusting it is. That.. is fucking intimacy. And it is fucking beautiful.

>>35089725
o...okay

>>35085559
>isn't it kinda evil for me to keep that a secret from the person that I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with?
If you're hiding it out of fear that they'd reject you for it, then yes. You're denying them the agency to make that decision for themselves.
The only exception is if you positively know (not just suspect, KNOW) they're the kind of person who would prefer to be kept in the dark about something that didn't physically affect them. Even here, you're hardly obligated to lie. But it's arguably less evil than in any other case.

>>35085649
>Why? In what way does your partner suffer by not knowing?
Because it's entirely self-serving to hide a truth that you know would destroy the relationship. Vermin like you think the truth is an afterthought, that results are all that matter. That's exactly why you're awful people.
If a woman hid something I thought was dealbreakingly awful from me, and then I ended up committing to the lie she sold me, I would minecraft her upon finding out. She'd have betrayed my trust, stolen years of my time, and destroyed my life all out of the selfish conceit that she knew better than I did about what kind of relationship I want. I can't imagine the sheer level of rage I'd feel if we also brought kids into her lie.

>>35085786
>the completely different person you used to be before you became the person you are now
If it's so inconsequential, you shouldn't "need" to be dishonest about it. But it isn't. I know it. You know it. That's why you're arguing in favor of lying to someone you supposedly love about things which would deeply affect them.

>>35090606
>I would minecraft her
eh lol I've never seen that used as a violent verb before

>>35085559
if you wont do that thing you did in the past anymore, then it doenst matter. you are not that person anymore.

>>35085559
There is no "real you" ur just an asshole.bro but you don't need to show your asshole to everyone. Guess what we don't really "know anyone" think about it
All we do is paint a fantasy over someone and then get mad eventually when it falls apart. That's it. Think about that deeply.

>>35090718
It falls apart precisely because you did not take the time and energy to know them you retard.