>>35086622
yup, same. Am 4 years post discard and generally okay, but their ghost is always there, y'know. Single the whole time because trust issues, intimacy hangups, paranoia, the works.
I still avoid places where she might be and even hearing her name makes my skin crawl.

wait so what happened and why are you on the verge

>>35088946
I was together with a malignant narcissist for half a decade. Only after being ambiently abused for years and discovering multiple affairs did I find the courage to escape. For a while I thought I was just having the blues due to a shit relationship, but after years of zero mental progress, I finally decided to try therapy. And since then it all clicked into place and my shrink basically confirmed I was being psychologically tortured for 5 years and got PTSD as a result.
Never thought it would happen to me, I used to be a hardass in my 20's. Got stabbed twice, robbed at gunpoint nore than once, did crime myself, only to be toppled by a 120lbs 5'2 woman.
I thought this shit only happens to soldiers and rape victims, and didn't know people that malicious are real outside of history and fiction.

Basically I figured out 5 years of my love and life were a lie

>>35088968
People you care about can rewrite your brain in significant ways for years/
This is the same reason kids relation dynamics with their mother essentially dictates their psyche and insecurities for the rest of their life
Since you went to therapy, am not sure what kind of advice you could be looking for. The obvious answer would always be to just move on since past is out of reach forever but that might be cliche
I don't have this problem I suspect it'd annoy my ego that someone who I dislike lives rent free all that time later
Especially if she was a piece of shit which it does sound like that with the cheating and abuse

>>35088993
thanks breh, yeah now I know. Christmas time is usually difficult because it happened during the holidays and I'm feeling exhausted. Everything triggers me, I barely sleep, I get panic attacks, and she is constantly in my head yelling at me or lovebombing me, upon which flashbacka of her betrayals surface.
I never asked for this. I just wanted to be a husband and a father, not a crazy person's punching bag.
She also hit me btw.

>>35088968
Why do you talk about it in terms of trauma rather than just an unfaithful lying bitch sleeping around?

Yeah for me it started from childhood, with a cold and dismissive parents and undiagnosed Asperger's, severe bullying in school & sexual assault as a youth. Went on to a couple long term abusive relationships, narcissistic traits and shit. I've been in therapy on and off for the last 15 years and it hasn't helped. Still get flashbacks, nightmares, all randomly triggered. All I want now is to be alone, I have to force myself to interact with the few casual friends and family I still have.

>>35089051
Because it's sustained psychological abuse, not just a cheating lying bitch.

>>35089051
I've been with multiple unfaithful cunts and got over it. Most women are fucking dumb and impulsive, and very much liable to fuck you over at any roadblock, sure, but this was something different. She was a monster, every interaction was a mental and emotional chess game.
I legotimately didn't know that people like that were real outside of movies

the craziest part is how they try ro rewrite reality after they gaslight you
>that's not a hickey, I banged against that fence again, remember? (it is a hickey and there never was a fence)
>I never said X, I said Z, you're imagining things (she said Y)
so on and so forth. And when you do catch them in a lie, they either drop a full on temper tantrum to deflect blame, crocodile tears to paint you as the abusive one, or go totally mask off and smirk at your sufferring. Then they call you crazy for seeing their real face. They literally hijack your identity and intuition.
God it makes my blood boil just thinking about it.

>>35089128
Man you gotta distract yourself at this point. If you've been robbing and having various relationships etc., then it sounds like you have the ability to launch yourself into new experiences whose traumas will override and distract you from this current trauma.

>>35089141
nah that was all before. I've been living like a limpet since we broke up. You don't understand, these people take your will to live. I try every day, haven't skipped a day off work, quit drinking, changed my social group, but I'm always so mad and vigilant and sad, it's seeping into my psyche at times.
Just last month I was at a DJ party in a bar surrounded by people who like me, and all I could do is wage wars with a ghost in my head fully unable to focus on life at hand. Like a girl even found me cute, then a friend said
>she asked why you look so angry all the time
like I manually have to arrange my face around people. I feel like a god damn lizard.

>>35086622
Nobody’s gonna give you validation if that’s what you’re looking for. And nobody here is your therapist or friend my boy. Swallow your pride and go talk to AI about it like a normal person. Nobody wants to listen to you cry. Other actual humans have their own problems going on, and are miserable and depressed just like you are.

>>35089150
how about you suck my nuts and click on another thread, faggot? I'm not looking for validation or trying to use mark zuckerberg as a confessional. There must be people who have experienced psychological manipulation that can relate and share.

>>35089150
Kys incel

>>35089147
I can SORT OF relate except mine was BPD, so less insidious in some ways than yours. I'm the one with NPD. We just want to control and humiliate before it can be done to us, and we can't knock it off except for brief moment of deep crisis.

Definitely for a while after parting she lives in your head and you have dialogues/arguments.
It did sort of help that I wound up in some extreme situations like homelessness, a new place, looking for new jobs etc., and like I said, the intensity if the new experiences kind of washed away the stranglehold of that relationship. If I had to just sit at home and process it, it would've been insurmountably difficult.

>>35089160
Mine was a covert, probably a sociopath too. One time, a dude owed her sister money, and she wanted to go and poison his dog. I went pale after hearing that.

Yeah I probably should force myself to get a life.

>>35089171
>should force myself to get a life

I don't really know how else one could move on. Maybe not "get a life" in any broad sense, just inject new drama in some form to get things moving again

>>35089214
I know you're a narc and thrive off drama, but no, that doesn't work for us normals

>>35089219
If you messed around with robbing and getting stabbed and stuff then you are at the very least impulsive, no? Narc or not, that shit is what's best in life if you're configured that certain way.

>>35089226
I used to be, but I grew up. It was classic young male attention seeking behaviour.

>>35089228
Hm. I guess I can't really help you then beyond what I've already said.

>>35089231
I know, but thanks. It helps to read whichever similar afflictions haunt people.

>>35089034
>gets beaten by a foid
bro, couldn't you have just overpowered her and bring the fear of God in her a bit?
I don't support woman beating, but if it's an actual tormentor, why didn't you fight back and kick her around for a bit?

>>35089386
she would smear against me 24/7, her entire workplace and friend group probably thought I was abusive and toxic. She would offhandedly comment "ugh I spoke with X and Y about our fight, they said Z about it" days after staging drama, and it was constantly just berating me and broadcasting our private life. Not once did she brag about the hundreds of dinners and gifts and romantic outings, or the miles I drove and money I spent.
I felt smothered, like I was breathing wrong and am about to be punished for it any moment. It isn't obvious, you don't know it's happening until you become a nervous wreck at which point they say 'look at you, you ARE unstable'.
Now imagine I did put my hands on her, dude. I'd be doing hard time.

>>35086622
Yeah, screaming random shit out when I'm alone and people that hear it don't understand. Probably borderline personality and maybe bipolar disorder. Thing is, especially with the borderline personality disorder, your shrink knows the symptoms subside after a few years with girlfriend/boyfriend, but can't say that shit.

>>35089386
Seen this in group therapy, and the mental health professionals already knows the moment the man hits back she calls the cops and plays innocent. You can roll those dice, and maybe get a good cop that'll just say we can either charge you both with assault and let the courts sort it out, or do nothing.

>pick her up from work
>she tells me we're taking her coworker friend to her place
>she gets in the back seat
>coworker gets in the passenger seat
>super hot and 10 years younger than the ex, but I'm not a horndog and just say hi courteously
>can feel her glare from the rearview mirror burning my forehead
>she is not breaking contact the whole ride while being hee hee ha ha with her coworker
>we drop the girl off
>she sits in front
>'admit it you checked her out, I saw you looking at her thighs when she sat'
>'I saw you do it just admit it'
>legit did not ogle at the girl
>get cold shoulder all day for doing her a favor
then one time
>go buy swimsuits for vacation together
>buy trunks first and go outside for a smoke
>she gets out
>'cashiers (again 2 younger girls) were checking you out and commenting about you' she says
>holy shit positive validation
>I smile and ask 'what did they say?'
>'ugh just drop it'
few hrs later
>was legit curious about the clerks' comments
>'so did you like what those cashiers said about me?'
>she explodes
>'HOLY SHIT are you THAT insecure?'
>get sad and quiet for trying to be playfully flirty with my girlfriend of 4 years
like jesus I barely believe it now. Imagine this sort of Hell being EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION with them

>>35089440
What if you torture her with painful joint locks instead? It leaves no traces

>>35089504
>dude just molest your rapist lmao

>>35089507
Do you have any idea how painful wrist locks are? You can make her lose control of her bowels and even go into cardiac arrest with just a wrist lock and some time

>>35089512
I'm not a sociopath like my tormentor dude, I'd get no enjoyment out of fulfilling a revenge fantasy.
I guess in some weird way I feel sorry for her, she is a facsimile of a human being and will never be able to form or maintain real relationships. Her lifelong illness which drove me mad is her penance.

I just want to be free of that shit dude

>>35089512
you don't get PTSD. To him this woman is like gunfire to a soldier, he probably wants to hide under a blanket upon hearing her voice and scream to make it go away. Some people can regulate it, some cannot, but generally your mind goes DANGER DANGER DANGER and the whole dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree, check engine and all, when directly confronted with the trauma.

how does cptsd differ from adhd? i heard that they can be confused for each other

>>35089550
adhd doesn't constantly pump you with cortisol and doesn't set you in perpetual fight-flight-freeze-fawn. Also the ruminations aren't about video games but the shittest memories you have.

As someone with CPTSD, I don’t think things will ever get better for us.
Mental health discussion on the internet is worse than any other discussion about persecuted groups
The common man hates us
The politicians and bureaucrats hate us
I think we should all band together and protest our rights to just be treated like humans, like disabled people did back for the ADA
And if they don’t listen, tax protest and riots

>>35089665
mental health is today what dentistry was 200 yrs ago

>>35089674
Nice

>>35089677
get drunk, grit your teeth and sleep it off lmao

>>35089674
The sad thing is more violence will happen until society learns to give a shit
But they never will
They’d rather have at least a couple of villains they can blame their problems on than live in a decent world
That’s why you should never believe in someone who wants a utopia, they always have their enemies (and most of the time one of those enemies is the disabled)

>>35089706
brother, the people running the joint are sociopath pedophiles. Nothing short of heads on spikes will change that I think.

>>35089715
It will change things
But not for the better
We’ll either have groypers or leftists in charge, and both of them want to kill off anyone with a disability or mental health issues
Our only hope is libertarianism taking charge, and we have to pray they’re the freedom loving autistic ones and not the techbro ones (they’re into eugenics more than any group in history besides maybe fascists)

>>35089706
"You wouldn't beat a toddler to death" ok, no replace "toddler" with "black guy" or "Epstein". Therapy can't fix the fact fundamental human nature is that you're looking for an excuse to beat someone to death, but it's just not socially acceptable, until it is.

>>35089738
When did I ever suggest I want to hurt people?
Shut up bot

>>35089566
Not him but I can't be the inly adhd one who thought it was normal to both ruminate constantly and thing of random unrelated shit at all times.
Is this really how I am finding out about cptsd.

>>35089665
Idk discussion about it is better than discussion on autism.

>>35089799
I got diagnosed ADD as a kid and I would think about Crash Bandicoot in math class, flunked 2 grades because I doodled in my notebooks and looked out the window instead of learning. Socially I was popular and exceled at class when I actually did study tho

>>35086622
Not gonna find the answer on 4chan. Just search cptsd books and read them all.

>>35089913
I bet Animorphs hit you harder than the crack epidemic

>>35086622
I have penis throbbing stimulation disorder. It's called getting hard and jerking off.

>>35089940
I was really into Gran Turismo and reading every single bit of info about cars. I also adored dinosaurs

>>35089971
Favorite dinosaur?
Me I was really into tanks, especially the French Leclerc tank

>>35089913
I have ADHD and autism yet I managed to become an employed engineer vut lately I can't stop thinking about a lot of regrettable monents from all parts of my life.
>>35089971
For me it has been most vehicles even fictional ones

>>35089995
I'm a basic bitch T Rex enjoyer. He is king after all.
>>35089999
shame modern cars and games are so gay and joyless. It's not just me right?

>>35086622
4chan is the worst place to find help about this, you need to get help in the real world. any bad actors you might be worry about in real life, i promise you they are here, and worse, waiting for you to be emotionally vulnerable so they can propagandize and control and corrupt you. they will make you believe things that will only distance you more from actually helpful supportive people in your life.

the hardest thing after is learning how to trust again.... don't stupidly do it w internet randos

>>35090015
eh you kinda spot malicious tricks after a while. Besides, they can't fuck me up harder than I am, especially through the screen. I just made the thread to vent and perhaps hear other people's stories.

>>35090013
Modern cars constantly cost too much and disappoint in every metric. Games have indies for hope. Motorcycles aesthetics look like shit right now and engine options are limited but they are a lot more exciting in design choices than cars at the moment. If motorcycle engineers were like car engineers every bike would be only getting tft updates and new fairings, having a line up of mostly adventure models, there would be 3 cruisers for sale at all and the only sport bikes made would be premium 1000cc with engines from 2000s that have been nerfed.

>>35090142
And ironically I have realized I just described modern Suzuki. Drz is especially an example of what i mean

>>35090142
I herd Toyota was rolling out another MR2, but it does suck that there basically aren't any entry level sports cars or exciting halo mofels to pull you into the brand.
As a kid I vividly remember most if not all manufacturers having a distinct hero car. Motorsport looked and sounded better.

>>35089141
thats not how trauma works.

>>35090167
The brz/86 and miata are all these is eastern and the mustang domestic. Both are insanely marked up at dealerships. Another mr2 will just end up like the supra and honda prelude and i6. promise one thing and deliver something different and disapointing. Unfortunately I can only really blame auto lenders and hype people for how auto is now.
Thats a minor thing that worries me about the future. On topic though rumiating on things of the past has just made the current living situation worse because its self fulfilling when I am not even seeking it out.

>>35090281
I've been feeling disassociated this whole week. Going to and from work felt like Silent Hill in 3rd person.
Also super jumpy and short tempered with people.

>>35090326
Ive been on a short fuse and shut off with constant brain fog, I feel like I've been in inconsistent control of myself and the rest of the time feels like half conscious actuons. Basically feels like i am sleep walking in life. Cutting drinking and smoking is not helping.

>>35090351
I enjoyed drinking a lot. When tipsy I finally felt like I could unwind and become human again for a short while. Unfortunately I don't have brakes and usually get shitfaced. Did a minor DUI too.
After quitting it's like it only exacerbated my symptoms and made the reality of what happened that much more vivid. I understand now why it's stereotypical for vets to drink themselves to death.

>>35090421
Did you kill anyone? I have horrible moments of waking up constantly from the time i was driving back with my car club and someone didn't see me on the straight away when pulling out of a store parking lot onto the highway. They came right out in front of me and a split decision I thought if trying to go left expecting them to slow down when crossing the highway since i was the only one there at that hour, instead they ended up dead on. The front of my civic was completely gone along with their nussan, the driver and passenger were alive. The passenger got really angry and even more angry when the police were trying to get a report, the pasenger fell face first into the ground and died suddenly while yelling at the cop. U didn't even know what killed the person and the cop while i was being evaluated for a concussion told me i killed the guy. About a month later i find out the guy died if a seizure. I still think about it a lot.

>>35090501
I never killed anyone but I got sexually assaulted as a child and as a result did weird sex shit with other kids, coercivelly so. I was a tiny little faggot predator for a few years.
Makes me want to vomit thinking about it.

>>35090501
Also I'm sorry bro but it's one of those things that simply happen. You shouldn't blame yourself. You didn't run a red light or commit a dui, they weren't spacially aware enough at that moment.

>>35090545
atp I believe most people have weird kiddy sex stories from growing up. Nobody is 'normal', we we were all at minimum exposed to porn and bad actors.

File: 1752800534171783.png (434 KB, 862x485)

434 KB PNG

How do you know if you have trauma or C/PTSD if you aren't sure? There's been moments in my life (not anything like what OP went through but still) that I think could be called traumatic but it feels like too big and too serious of a term for me to adopt if I'm not fully sure. I'm not sure if trauma is something you can just claim for yourself or if it's something you need to see a shrink to have it confirmed as real like a diagnosis.

>>35092210
you go to a trauma shrink and find out.

>>35086622
Read some Pete Walker, look into TRE but take it very slowly, go for walks in nature, look into Feldenkrais or similar modalities involving fascia, do ideal parent figure protocol. PRAY and do something nice for someone when you have the inclination.

wishing you all the best. It needn't be a frantic search for relief but see what helps and take it in small doses.

>>35090501
the way I see it had you not veered left, you would have collided with the passenger compartment and turned them into mince neat, actually killing them. Alternatively, it could have been you who died had it happened a second before, later, or had you approached at any ither angle.
Maybe the guy had an aneurysm waiting to popy and the stress of the accident and fight with the cop simply set it off. My friend's mom just dropped dead like that in their garage. She was about to drive to attend a birthday party and just had a stroke while entering the car. Had it happened 30 mins later she would have driven off a cliff and everybody would have been none the wiser.
Don't beat yourself up over it.

ok for now we got
>narcissistic abuse
>sexual assault
>vehicular manslaughter
who else /traumatized/?

>>35092210
>substance abuse
>dissociation
>feeling triggered by certain people, places and things
>avoiding people, places and things that trigger you
>difficulty maintaining close relationships
>intrusive, vivid memories of stressful events in the past
>repeated nightmares about stressful events in the past
>hyper-vigilance
>feelings of shame, hopelessness and powerless brought on by triggers

>>35086622
Am I allowed to try to be a better/stronger person without torturing myself to do it?

I don't wanna fucking live like this anymore.

I've been through so much weird shit and haven't become stronger for it.

>>35093519
what happened to you brosef

>>35089150
shut up faggot

anyone excited for anything? I can't wait to see Hokit vs Gane. Would like to play GTA 6, but stopped gaming around the time 5 came out. Will probably just watch in on jewtube

god my body sucks to work with

>>35093532
A lot of things, man.

I'd be cool with getting into it if you're fine with a lotta rambling.
It's a ton of shit to try and explain.

>>35095676
That's what the thread is for, you don't need my approval dawg

>>35086622
I think so. I've never been dx'd but I seem to fit a lot of the criteria, and it's a better explanation than a more severe disorder. Of course, part of me wants to instead blame a lot of it on myself, which I feel is almost diagnostic of the condition. I'll be vague, other than for many years I was trapped in a situation that I knew could be stopped, but stopping it simply wasn't possible in this case.
Seeing something decay and knowing better, knowing that none of it needs to continue, knowing that others who have suffered the same fate recover, that there is a treatment, and yet not being able to do anything about it until it fully rots. The damage is irreversible by that point. Death lingers far before they're taken.

>>35096148
I also fear that I'm misremembering a lot of the crazier things. I was a child, and had a child's view of the world. Maybe some of the crazy shit said wasn't meaningful? Maybe I was meant to take it metaphorically. Maybe they spoke that way to me because they knew I was too stupid to ever understand the truth. The fear that I have essentially traumatized myself for no good reason. Maybe a 'normal' person wouldn't be nearly as fucked up by all of this. Maybe I just didn't cope well.

I do believe that it IS possible for someone to experience more or less trauma based on their mindstate during and after the trauma occurs. I'd even go so far as to say I know it is possible. Now, did I do that? That's harder to discern.

>>35086622
I wish therapy wasn't all gay and retarded.

A lot of shit would get resolved if it was as accessible as an oil change.

ASPD sociopath here. I have come to terrorize you all like a fox among the chickens. Nah just kidding I got cPTSD too as well it sucks, OP. There's nothing that can be done about it. At some point most of the pathology becomes a permanent feature. The best way forward is to use those features as tools to get through life rather than fight them

File: 1794571333075178.jpg (212 KB, 1024x1024)

212 KB JPG

>>35096083
>That's what the thread is for, you don't need my approval dawg
Thanks, I'll get into it after I get a few hours of sleep.

I'll be able to spill the beans then.

>>35096274
I'm legitimately diagnosed antisocial and I would never ever do that shit to a person what OP went through.
I'd rather beat the shit out of you violently and expose your dirty underwear to the world if you slight me, all that trickery and manipulation takes too much energy and mindspace to plan and execute.
I've also never cheated on anybody and try my hardest to actively not lie or resent people.

>>35096380
how does your ASPD manifest in your day to day life? I assume you've been to therapy considering you're diagnosed and all.

>>35096380
I believe you. Manipulation and trickery is the NPD side of the game. I've only known two ASPDs in my life, they were fine. One was the intelligent type the other not so much but both of them didn't fuck with me so long as I didn't fuck with them. Transactional quid pro quo is good enough for them.

>>35096423
everything drives me up a fucking wall. I am constantly irritated, angry, offended, planning to fuck someone over if I dislike them, and honestly don't think about the consequences of my actions.
Having to cool down, take a deep breath, keep the 'evil' thoughts at bay, and trying to be a better person is a daily occurence for me.
I actively have to not be an asshole every day. I do have cognitive empathy, but I don't feel anything positive. Idk I found out in adulthood so we always just chalked it up to me being a cunt.

>>35096593
Same. Good writeup.

>>35096595
For example a baby wails in the bus, normal people will roll their eyes and be annoyed for a minute then turn on their earbuds louder.
I want to soccer kick it off the bus just so the sound will stop scratching at my brain. It's weird. I never hurt people or animals though. The shrink figured it out because I look at everything transactionally and as objects and don't actually care about anything except for being seen as an okay dude by others and having my own personal space and peace. Dating sucks too, but I do attract unfaithful whores to be fair.

>>35096604
Last time I blew a lid I drunkenly assaulted a guy and spent a night in the klink. Luckily he didn't press charges.
So by then I counted my lucky stars and keep telling the guy screaming in my head to shut up.

>>35096604
>>35096617
>I don't hurt people
>I assaulted a guy

File: a7MDgKA_460s.jpg (33 KB, 460x667)

33 KB JPG

>>35096632
it happens

>>35096632
Nta but with ASPD the perspective is that they don't assault people who they think did not deserve it. That's why ASPDanon wrote earlier:
>I would never ever do that shit to a person what OP went through.
Despite what Hollywood tries to portray, sociopathy isn't about evil, only impulse. They also have a moral code only it is cognitive and not something that's felt. That's why a sociopath can beat the shit out of a drunk shit talker, but if they find out someone else also knows what it's like to have a fucked up upbringing they can respect them enough to not mess with them. It's also why kiddy fuckers get killed off in prison, it's usually an ASPD that puts them down.

>>35096656
yeah but they can also explode at any perceived slight or disrespect like an unwitting mean look or cutting in line they are in. There's a reason prisons are chock full of them

>>35096632
Mug didn't press charges so it doesn't count

>>35096663
Well I don't have aspd or any personality disorder just cPTSD since childhood. I also hate people who cut in line or give mean or smug arrogant looks and I also feel the urge to snap and attack them so I get it. Respect costs nothing so if someone is choosing to disrespect it really is blood boiling to receive especially from public assholes. Maybe they just feel that flash if anger extremely more intensely than normal

>>35096676
I mean I get it but sociopaths aren't arbiters of justice, usually they're the ethbic youth gangbangersy, predator kiddy fuckers, and the guys running the banks

yeah i type likr shit and don't proofread, it's friday evening and I drink lol

>>35096683
You'd be surprised I grew up around them it's not ethnic, just takes one generationally rough neighborhood and being the kind of kid who relates to other kids who comes from explosive upbringings eventually you shake hands with a few sociopaths. Though at that age they're Oppositonal defiant disordered and not full blown ASPD yet. Not saying they're misunderstood little saints but they do practice street justice where it counts.

>>35096689
aspd assault anon here
As a kid I stole and dealt drugs, until my early 20s. And I mean real shit like cars and bikes and b&es.
I did it for fun and to fit in with the townie locals who were also problematic. Half my original friend group is on drugs or in prison

>>35096697
Yeah same, though it wasn't stealing drugs but bikes, graffiti was great, vandalism to kill time, had my own pack of other guys to kick about with. Almost got to cars but by then life shit happened and got moved out of the country which was a good thing long term never developed into full aspd.
What fucks me up is I am supposed to feel bad as an adult and when I talk to a shrink to recall events I end up trying not to laugh at the shit I did and it makes the session weird because the therapist doesn't laugh

>>35096697
Why did you stop? Why not go for a big score?

>>35096710
same, I laff at my hijinks era.
>>35096712
Prison is hell bro

>>35096728
I couldn't manage prison. I always thought it was just cptsd shit but you are diagnosed aspd, does boredom also feel more mentally painful to you than actual pain? Prison would want to make me kill myself for the forced boredom part alone

>>35096736
it's not the boredom that would kill me, but being around gay niggers who can overpower me would.
Yes I hate being bored and always need shit to do

>>35096728
>>35096736
Jail was alright. I got 2 years but they let me go after 7 months in remand. This was some shithole in Eastern Europe.
Worked out a lot, squatted my cellie, we improvised a whole gym. Read a TON, that's one thing you can do inside that is no longer really possible out here. Socialized with really interesting people, I much preferred them to civilians.
Overall, my nervous system was calmer and I was more at peace in jail.

>>35096780
Euro jails are apparently okay.
American jails are gay rape central.
Third World jails are funkytown.mp4 type shit

>>35096798
Where exactly did you get this information from though?

>>35096800
internet

>>35096803
Okay. Cause in jail you meet people who have been in other jails all over the world, and what you've filled your head with is complete bs

>>35096819
okay bro I'll believe career criminals instead of statistics

>>35096825
You just look stupid regurgitating movie tropes to me

>>35096833
I mean jail anywhere isn't a picnic

>>35096839
Jails everywhere are actually pretty similar in many ways, despite the disparities you'd expect.

>>35096851
I know a guy who did 5 years, he said it was mostly chill.
He also fucked my gf the same week we broke up. Faggot

>>35096857
If you do 6 years you can win her back

Why is this discussion of mental illness better than any discussion that Reddit has on it? Reddit is somehow both more hostile while at the same time more stupidly positive.

>>35096885
Freedom

>>35096885
reddit breeds narcissism due to accounts and karma. It's all an act to see who is more holier-than-thou so they can get their virtual pats on the back.
Anonimity and the fleeting nature of 4chan threads means these retards have no interest in posturing here.

>>35096885
Because reddit is full of middle class sheltered weasels who only regurgitate what they saw on TV about mental illness. And if they claim to have the illness or disorder they use it as a up doot label. Fucking hate reddit so much it's unreal

My sociopathic bipolar cousin genuinely faired better in jail. Outside he goes fucking crazy and either in some shit with local drug crowd or goes on long sprees of petty antisocial self sabotage. In prison he reads, learned guitar, wrote short stories and got into artwork I still got once of his paintings somewhere he got really good.

>>35097023
my ex's brother has multiple personality disorder and he's in a nuthouse now. As a civvie he stole cars and got caught with drugs or weapons every other week. Multiple stints in jail.