My untreated borderline mom forced me to take stimulants as a kid and they made me super hypersexual and erratic.I remember not liking the stimulants and complaining they made me feel bad but she almost found a level of satisfaction in giving me medication, I think she might have munchausen by proxy but I'm not entirely sure.She would go through my phone and make fun of me for consuming large amounts of porn. She used a rectal thermometer on me as a toddler even though I was old enough for oral and didn't want to go through that sensation.She also would make fun of my body constantly growing up and one time straight up asked me what my developing genitalia looked like and said my bio father had a large penis.I was masturbating once after school and my stepdad came into the room and I managed to cover myself in time but he pried about what I was doing for like 5 straight minutes until I admitted to masturbating. Honestly I'm starting to think this was all sexual abuse maybe??? Am I being dramatic or???My mom has always talked about sex in front of me with zero filter whatsoever and it really messed with my psychological development I'm thinking.I lost friendships left and right for saying inappropriate stuff growing up.
>>35089671>ContinuedMy stepdad would show me gore as punishment and would sleep deprive me constantly by waking me up early or waking me up for taking naps.I'm a very sickly person and I get nauseous pretty bad sometimes, whenever I didn't want to finish a meal I would be forced to look at pictures of dying starving African children.The food looked and tasted like it was from the kitchencels subreddit. I remember being punished for throwing up food."Children are to be seen not heard"My mom would break down after getting back from work or college regularly and would cry about how she would abandon me since "it's all so stressful"My half and step sibling received special privileges growing up, I remember being forced to watch both of them open mountains of presents while I got none.Neither of them had to do chores ever growing up and i was basically a live in maid growing up.I have a variety of health issues that were neglected and ignored growing up unfortunately despite my mom constantly bringing me to the doctor, she refused to get me orthodontic treatment and instead blew her money on street drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes at the time.I remember complaining to my mom that I felt sad growing up and she yelled at me about the book: "a child called it" and how I was ungrateful.I'm not sure what's wrong with me and I'm not sure if getting diagnosed with anything will help.I have a family event later tonight and I'm stressed about going to it. I'm tired of pretending that I'm not a broken shell of a human being and I don't know how much longer I can pretend to be ok.
Ur parents are total shit and you should get away from them asap (financial independence). The sexual stuff is whatever, could just be severe lack of awareness, but the rest is pretty much just sadism by people who do not have your best interests at heart (when they are supposed to be the primary people with your best interests at heart)
>>35090014You got abused pretty bad my dude
Major abuse and I don't even think you're larping like most of the shit on this site. I'm genuinely sorry you went through all that and this might be one of the rare times where therapy could actually be helpful. And going outside, eating properly, working out are always great ideas.
>>35091789I've been thinking of getting a gym pass or something since I live near a YMCA but it's a fair amount of money and I'm poor.Eating healthy has been difficult, I did a grocery run for healthy food and I kid you not 1 day later a bunch of cookies and ice cream were brought home. I keep getting sabotaged.I had an appointment for therapy a while back but it was virtual and I need private sessions where my family can't overhear me.I'm not sure how to get a good in person therapist since I don't live in a big city. My last two in person therapists were pretty bad unfortunately.I know a lot of men prefer male therapists and I'm not sure if having a male therapist would change anything.>>35090284I'm in poor health but I feel guilty over the prospect of getting on neetbux. Idk the way I see it is society failed me in a way so I shouldn't feel too guilty over the idea.Sorry in advance for any typos or anything I'm phone posting since my desktop GPU died.
Your parents sound a lot like mine. (That's bad). You need to get a therapist and carefully explain the situation. If you're in college that might be easier or otherwise you're spending money. Either way you need help and emotional distance from the family. Not saying you should cold turkey never see them again but you should try and be careful about how much exposure you have to them going forward.
>>35093811No reason for you to feel guilty for getting neetbux. You're lucky if you can get it.
