OK, so I've. been identifying as a lesbian my whole life. I grew up in a queer household and just assumed I'd never like men, just like my adoptive parents. I know I like women. But now it's starting to seem like I like men, too. But... it's always about submission to men. I am pretty much entirely submissive for other women, but with men, the very idea scares me. I'm in a relationship, but now there's this and it's just bothering me a lot. The kinks I masturbate tend to feature misogyny as a literal theme. Not just bondage and stuff, but literally subjugating women and taking our rights away as a kink. Kink used to feel more like unserious jokes to me. Almost like Macho Man doing the "cream of the crop" promo. Fun but not serious.But now there's this. This scares the shit out of me and I'm now scraping the bottom of the internet well for advise on how to cope with this? I can't find a good therapist.Yes I could go to /LGBT/, but they haven't been useful on these subjects thus far, so I'm trying here.Yes; I am fully aware some of you very lonely guys could find this "hot" and that you'll probably say a lot of other shit I'll find fucked up in some way or another, too. Please don't bother; I've pretty much fully processed my core political, moral, and social opinions.Pic unrelated.
what leads a person to larp like this?
>>35092777Oh and to be clear, I am not questioning if I am straight. I'm not; I'm... I guess I'm bisexual.But this isn't about the attraction to men in and of itself (though that is also confusing and makes it bother me a little more)
>>35092777Life is a continuous process of discovering things about yourself and incorporating them into a revised self-definition. This needn't be scary. Approach this new information with a calm and open mind - "Gee, maybe that's true about me. Or maybe I'm just going through a bit of confusuion. Which is it and what does that mean for the future?" - and it can be interestiing and maybe even exciting rather than scary
>>35092782I'm not larping. Apparently, my partner has had me watch too much wrestling lately.Again, bottom of the barrel. I know some of you are okay or even good or at least can be such for a moment. So Im just gonna wait. Probably until the thread dies, to see if some how there is some chance someone can say something helpful :/Though I do seriously doubt it and it makes sense you wouldn't believe me. Especially with how unusual my post is and how weird the way I talk and think in general is.
>>35092791Eh.... But see I never considered...Like... How do I sayMisogyny and rape isn't okay, obviously. I used to not be bothered by fucked up kinks, but now I am much more aware that bad shit really can and does happen to people. This changes the vibes; I cry when I masturbate now and I'm not sure where to go from there.I suppose I could try to explore that in my head more? I can't guarantee productivity in that regard, but I'll think on it.I just didn't really really realize this was part of... it's hard to explain.
Of course than again, perhaps this fucked up kink is linked to how uncomfortable I am with my apparent attraction to men...Why does it make me so uncomfortable? I'm trying to understand it....
>>35092777What are actually scared of? Like the guy harming you? Or are you scared because this clashes with your upbringing?
I don't want to be attracted to men... I don't want to be because I'm scared of men. Or no, I'm not scared of men so what is it?I'm scared of men having power over me. I'm scared of not being able to talk to them as I have. The last one is mostly unfounded; I am in a long-term relationship with a woman. But you never know what can happen.I'm scared that a man could hurt me because of certain things about me. A woman wouldn't or rather the danger there is more familiar to me.I worry about keeping my friends. I don't like the idea of being like straight women or being a stereotype. Especially a sexual one and especially with my annoyingly high libido.But then what do I do with this information... this feels really uncomfortable.
No. fuck this. This is comphet. I don't like men. I never liked men. I'm not doing this. I hate this and I'm not thinking about this any more...Cept that I can't help it...God fucking dammit it shouldn't fucking even bother me
No no no. No.No. What if a man raped me and I...No that wouldn't happen but if it did and it's not comfortable for...UrghhFuck this.Look if I... I'm not into men and never will be. I have friends who are just friends. I won't be.. Ive been a victim before and seen people be that and I'm not doing that again ever. Ever. Ever.Im not doing that.Fuck.I won't let it. It doesn't even matter because I have a partner who I love. It wouldn't happen. This is fantasy and I hate it and I need to find better material. That's all.God FUCKING damn it.
OP again.I'm pretty much rambling at this point, but...Ever since the incident, I kind of wish a man would fucking try it. I wish someone would fucking try to hurt me again. Try to do anything very bad to me again. I can't look at spray nozzles now.The next time this happens, if it's a man we'll say, I will beat the ever loving shit out of him. I am unusually strong for a woman and have taken self defense.I wish someone would fucking try. Just so I can rip his dick off and shove it down his throat.Just so I could hit him over and over and over again so I can feel strong. So I know I can do something.I will never ever ever ever let someone be try their fucking dumbass bitchass luck with me again. I will destroy that person. I don't even know what Im talking about any more.
>>35092777I'm confused as to what it is about this situation that needs coping with. So you're bisexual; so what? What's wrong with that? You don't want to get involved with a man? You can be attracted to men without actually getting involved with a man, if you don't want to. You have submissive fantasies; so what? Many people (and in my experience, most women) have fantasies about things they would never consider doing in real life. Fantasise to your heart's content. Fantasies are safe. Or perhaps you actually want to be dominated by a man in real life? Well, then, you'll need to choose the man carefully, and make sure it's someone who absolutely respects limits and safewords; but there are men like that around, and it's not that hard to find one if you really want to.So, what is it about this that's a problem?
>>35092833>I don't even know what Im talking about any more.I don't think anyone else does either.
>>35092833I think you need to see a therapist
>>35092846>>35092835Fair enough.Perhaps I could've lead with the fact of me being a woman who happens to be trans, got bottom surgery only a few months ago, and who got assaulted and how and why that is all relevant instead of trying to do all this shit.I didn't know this was gonna get this deep. But that did happen.Uh...I guess I need to find a therapist. Wow. I can't sleep now. This kinda sucks.I really didn't think that reflecting on why I felt a way would bring that out. Holy shit.Maybe I really am not okay at all.
So, she really did ruin me. That's fun.
>>35092859>I guess I need to find a therapist.Uh, yeah, I'd say so.
>>35092777You got abused by a man as a child and you hated men so you sexually sought out women for a sense of safety. Now you're getting older and your fertility clock is ticking to zero, you realize that women can't provide safety at all and you are starting to wonder if maybe it would have been better to find a man who doesn't hurt you instead of dating mentally ill bisexual/lesbian women (Who ironically have the highest % odds of domestic violence out of all the demographics)
>>35092869no, you reverted to factory settings.Stupid foid.
>>35092896>foid.Uh...
>>35092906uruguay
>>35092878>bisexual/lesbian women>(Who ironically have the highest % odds of domestic violence out of all the demographics)Where does this weird myth come from?
>>35092930From the reported statistics of domestic violence per demographic. Lesbians have the highest number, beating out gays and straights
>>35092777You are a nasty bislut, stay away from real lesbians
>>35092777What did you expect, it takes two brain cells to predict this resultThe sex drive is genetically hardcoded into us and humans are naturally inclined to show vulnerabilityIf you suppress it too much it comes back harder
>>35092932>Lesbians have the highest number, beating out gays and straights*self-identified lesbians, and the abuse numbers come from when they were in heterosexual relationships (aka they got beat up by men). You didn't even read the study you're referencing, retarded moid.
