I’ve had this cycle for years.I have a shitty attitude, beat myself up over stupid things mentally, then end up driving people off with being excessively abrasive and crashing out every so often. With the most recent example, I feel shit about being unemployed, I feel shit about my efforts trying to find employment being fruitless, then I beat myself up mentally and pass that on as abrasiveness towards people I know online and end up pissing them off and making them not care about me, which makes me feel even worse, and then ends up making me double down on the abrasiveness. Because of this, I’ve been banned from so many places online to the point that it’s a natural talent for me to get banned from somewhere even if they aren’t ban enforcement heavy. I just want this to stop and for my life to improve, there’s usually some time before the next inevitable abrasive crashout.The only advice I got offered was to as quote>”grow up”>”only you are in control”>”stop being a asshole”I don’t know. despite this there’s people who’ll still try to interact with and talk to me and support me.And yes I did take the “go get a therapist” advice, though the charity’s slogan of “no wait list” is patently false since it took around a week or two to even get anything back.
>>35096070You need love and attention. A girl or someone who knows how to love you and make you feel accepted.
I will add my two cents and say that you should feel shitty about being a loser but you should never feel shitty about your efforts to stop being one no matter how small, people will put you down for all kinds of reasons and your own brain has a negativity biasThe first post is probably right, you don't get enough opportunities to feel confidence in your own actions and if you want to approach people irl about it, it may help you to put some confidence in people and to try to be honest with others and try to be useful and positive in your capacity, and accept what you can't change about yourself
>>35096255One important caveat, do not mistake online friends for real friends, there's no honor among online friends
>>35096078>a girlThere’s a reason why I filter you faggots out to make /adv/ usable. >>35096255That’s fair, at-least I’m trying to do something instead of rotting like before. I just get quickly sad when I’m looking through online job listings and have to suppress the urge to sob on the spot because I’m applying to literally anything that might work out of desperation. >>35096264I only have ~2 irl friends I’ve visited recently, and my third irl friend is too busy with work to even arrange a visit. All of my irl friends are too busy with work to visit regularly so I hardly see them, I like them but if I were to dump all of this abrasive bullshit on them in person I’d probably lose them immediately.
