Hi, am 30+ Western male with a SEA wife. We married after 1 year because I wanted her to be able to come live with me asap. We had fun in bed, we both thought the other is our best partner yet, and we played casual games together a lot. However, she is a single mom, has a sickness from her past which means massive amounts of surgery (and by extension money), and also is mentally unwell due to past trauma (which was not her fault, but rather getting in an accident as a kid as well as massive sexual abuse), and she has a strained relationship with her family, and no friends. She is obsessed with me and wants 7/24 video contact even during LDR, and very often expresses her love and saying that she misses me.I love her because she is a genuine person and caring, genuinely into me in every way, and extremely loyal, gwhich is somewhat rare these days, not to mention beautiful and also quite horny. But at the same time, she is very prone to arguments, sudden mood changes, extreme jealousy and lack of trust for me, as well as the occasional suicidal thoughts, which come from painful loss of very close family members. I also expected her to shift into slightly more complex (like WoW) games but she is finding it hard, and it feels like she doesn't really enjoy it (which I understand, I wouldn't wanna force it). She is Gen Z and interested in Insta reels and TikTok, the latter of which I quite dislike, and she often does lipsync short "stories" on both, whereas I prefer to either enjoy complex (or occasionally casual) games or watching movies like Oppenheimer or the Pianist (she likes movies/series too but a different kind such as k-dramas, or Korean horror and action movies).I feel bad for her because she is a really nice person when she is on her good side, but I'm also incredibly stressed and financially depleted and never felt like this before (granted, I never had a proper long term relationship before either).Do I keep trying to salvage this or quit and try again?
She is really nice but also most joked requiring non-basic English go over her head. Which is kinda one of my pet peeves. But she does tease me playfully with bsdic jokes tho lovingly.
>>35096151>>35096227i think it's worth trying to salvageit might be good if she would see a therapist (a decent therapist), but that might be awkward to bring updon't let her get on meds or whatever, my parents were similar & meds made my mom way more unstable in the long runalso try to take care of yourself, whatever happens
>>35096227>most joked requiring non-basic English go over her head.That will come with time.
>>35096151>she is a single momShe isn't, she's married. To you.
>>35096151How well do you get on with her child?
Tldr ur both basic bitchesIf you ain't having kids with them then leave for someone else who will or is also solo to half expenses
>>35096228Right? Sometimes I wanna divorce but other times I remember how deeply she loves me. She even agreed to change. I just have a hard time with so much stress because of her illness and the tremendous financial stress it brought as well, and her independent-girl-but-man-should-pay mentality. She is hardworking normally but she hasnt done any work this year due to her illness and mental issues, but without me she'd have literally nothing, though she used to take care of herself before as a bank teller.One time she tells me to look for another girl, the next she is apologizing for putting such a burden on me and feels useless. I just wanna make her happy is all.
>>35096231I sure hope so. It seems really distant rn.>>35096231True I guess>>35096239Actually very well, he's a lovely and very cute kid and they both love each other. She does not even force me to raise him, though I had a blast taking him to the theme park with his family, and some years later when we're financially back on our feet I wouldn't even mind that desu.>>35096249I guess so. I feel like a snob and an idiot at the same time because I love art movies and deep stuff but at the same time I love the dumbest anime or reel stuff sometimes, yet I still feel cringe when seeing her reels she sends often.
>>35096151Pues sinceramente por lo que he leído es una persona que lo vale independientemente si la amas o no es una gran persona se podría decir que si, deberías de intentar ayudarla con los que puedas que también pongas límites y en especial tener las cosas claras. Espero puedas darle una mejor vida aun más si la quieres
>>35096265Gracias
>>35096151In oerson You either naturally are able to help her because you inherently know how to support her and kb what say. You know exactly what she needs even when she doesn't say that's what she needs because you know her and what will help her heal and grow as a person. You accept all of her, even her faults. If you're unable to do that then you are not compatible, not made for each other
>>35096251>She even agreed to changePainting yourself as the victim and her what is wrong narc behavior>single momHow you didnt talk lovingly about your daughter or sun is quite dispicable behavior. >her financial stressWtf? As you are married you both have the same financials. You share and help each other through burdens and strife. Its not her problem. Its yours too. >feels uselessThe way you treat her and leverage things against her to gaslight and guilt trip her into feeling this way is horrid. I hope she wakes up.
>>35096355Well yea that's exactly my conundrum. I wanna help her and support her but I feel like I'm gonna crumble while doing so.>>35096367Totally possible that I'm the narc here, that's why I asked in the first place. As for the financial stress, I said mutual. And yeah if I'm the toxic one, that might also be a reason to divorce as well. I want her to have a happy life, after all.
>>35096151>However, she is a single mom, has a sickness from her past which means massive amounts of surgery (and by extension money), and also is mentally unwell due to past trauma (which was not her fault, but rather getting in an accident as a kid as well as massive sexual abuse), and she has a strained relationship with her family, and no friends. She is obsessed with me and wants 7/24 video contact even during LDR>She is very prone to arguments, sudden mood changes, extreme jealousy and lack of trust for me, as well as the occasional suicidal thoughts,And after waving all those red flags, your biggest concern is that she's not good at WoW?
>>35096151Why did you go to SEA to marry a woman that you could've gotten anywhere?
>>35096375>I want her to have a happy lifeNo you dont. Narcs say this to seem like they loosened their grip. They are actually just looking for another rope to bind with a lie to make her feel she has autonomy when in fact this lie is what makes her trapped stuck and miserable with the narc if she falls for it
>>35096375>Well yea that's exactly my conundrum. I wanna help her and support her but I feel like I'm gonna crumble while doing so.Giving you the answer would be an injustice to her.
>>35096475Saying these are red flags is just attempting to shift perspective of her from being the victim to being the Aggressor. despicable narc tactic
>>35096478Discounting her value. Putting yourself on a pedestal to make her feel worthlessYou didn't make a thread to get help, it's just another manipulation tactic toward her
>>35096151>I also expected her to shift into slightly more complex (like WoW) games but she is finding it hard, and it feels like she doesn't really enjoy it fucking lmao
you are ngmi either wayflip a coin or something it wont matter
>>35096375Do not reply to Mike posts
>>35097371Dont reply to narc larp posts
>>35096151It's insane that people think their 1 year SEA wife loves them.
