>Go to Australia>See a little bright and cute octopus>Pick it up>Get bit>Die from respiratory failure I'll never visit the hellhole, but if I were to find myself there I'd mind my own fucking business.
just go live in tasmania. it actually has seasons, no poisonous things that i know of, low human population and has some of the most beautiful landscapes in the world. i want to go there one day
>>5125030I dunno I think I remember a documentary about tasmanian devil's and they'll just rip through anythingTechnically not venomous but will still fuck you up
>>5125030>Poisonous(venomous you mean).Anon....
>>5125066bro these things weigh like 20 pounds, this isn't loony tunes
>be 14yo me, grommet surfer>skipping rocks at beach in rockpool with mates >it’s dusk>see perfect flattie rock, gonna get like 50 skips from>pick up>something small and squishy in my palm now>flip rock>getting dark, but kind of looks like an octopus>it is, blue ring>oh shit>drop rock like it’s uranium >looking all over hand too see if I’m bit>remember reading once that sometimes you don’t feel the bite>getting very dark now, hard to see>parents are waiting in the car park above beach 50 metres away>think I see two little red dots on the ball of my palm>oh fuck me>don’t say anything to friends, start running up to carpark >mum chatting with other mum>say blue ring bit me, we gotta go>mum used to be a nurses aid>she goes into operator mode>not another word spoken, we start flooring it to hospital like 25 minutes away>i tourniquet my shirt around my arm>feeling my heart go into overdrive>praying thinking it’s over>almost at hospital>thinking I should be unconscious by now>run into emergency >blood pressure taken, examination>I was not bitten by a blue ring octopus >relief and disbelief >nurse says that if I had, I would have gone unconscious on beach and someone would have had to resuscitate me till ambo came>meanwhile friends wondering what the fuck going on still at beach
