Previously on /jef/ >>5126529Who is Jefrey (with one F)?He was found abandoned in some bushes filthy and covered in fleas late one night in mid-July 2024. He’s all grown up, and enjoys car rides, climbing trees, going to new places, and most of all, his capybara. Some believe him to be a goblin or gremlin. Jefrey was named after the Pixies song “Space (I Believe In)”.Jefrey suffers from mild ear-ectile dysfunction.Originally posted him here back in July 2024 seeking advice for potential health problems due to his folded ears, some /an/ons wanted more of him, and so now you’re stuck with him.
>>5128820Jef is the Lord of the Footwear
>>5128821OMG this is so funny!
>>5128819Finally a day of peace for Old Orange
didnt i just hide this thread?when does this bullshit become spam?
mmm bug
>>5128829uhhh shoey?
>>5128844Usurped.
>>5128840>>5128841He eats them raw?Jef is like an animal
>>5128835Misery has infected your soul.These threads are a vein of pure gold in an abandoned mine.
>>5128849it’s a bitter dogfag that can’t stand cats for whatever reason
>>5128820Le petit chat fleur
>>5128823Jef got tangled up....Call a rescue mission!
>>5128850I prefer dogs to cats by far but Jef is an honorary dog in my eyes.>>5128835Nobody loves you and you have no friends.
Just got out of a business meeting with the client.The Jef merger is NOT going through after all.I'm fuming.
>>5128821Capy is giving Jef a kiss on the head~!
>>5128827do not the pointing at cat
>>5128882Jef aint a business man. Hes a hard in the paint street nigga. Dont come at him with fancy numbers and contracts. All a nigga know is all a nigga want. Street shrimp
>>5128882if you don't find a way to make the Jef merger happen, it's YOUR ASS. understand?
>>5128875
>>5129006looks like a berry-picking faggot
>>5129010
>>5129016You have strange folds in your fingers
>>5129019yes. too many palm wrinkles. VERY disrespectful.
>>5129006>>5129016Jef the sweety pie!If I was putting together a hockey team, I would recruit him!!!
*hic* thersh nothin like cra*hic*ckin open 11-12 beersh an *hic* readin Jef thread
>>5129019>>5129023Had it ever since I was a kid. Classmates used to say I had old man hands
>>5129044>Had it ever since I was a kidYeah, man... Most people have had their hands since they were kids...
>>5129051Is he praying? I didn't know Jef was a man of faith.
mmmm bug
>>5129055now the bug is dead
>>5129049lol gottem. OP is such a cat-headed dumbass
>>5129053the Jef household is proud Catholic.
>>5129044i bet $100 you have THICK-ass caterpillar eyebrows. people with those dusty-ass wrinkly hands always have crazy eyebrows and ear hair
>>5129051Jefs posture is terrible, but nice hydrangeas in the reflection
>>5129054What kind of pose is this
>>5129080Jef does an amazing Larry King impression
>>5129081jef is an old neurotic shrimp bagel jew
>>5129100Cute!
>>5129100J-Jef.. nnot.. c-cute… mumumust call.. J-je-Jef a… n-nigger…..
>>5129171is jef retarded?
>>5129174He’s just special
>>5129167Jef doesn't look very happy about you paying attention to something other than him
>>5129171GOBLIN CHILD
>>5129100Dreaming of yummy shrimpies
>>5129171>Jef used water spout!>It’s not very effective…
>>5129248Jef is NEVER allowed to have any more shrimp EVER again!
>>5129167>you WOULD play HuCAST, you fucking chud.
>>5129298Shove it, rule follower! Don't you have some penal code to read to make sure you don't accidentally upset your masters?Jef and I will be over here, eating shrimp and chewing on plants because we want to.
>>5129167Does that controller have analogue triggers? If not, you are faggot
>>5129307Of course it does
>>5129310If that controller has analogue triggers, you are a faggot.
>>5129303Honestly just getting back into that game after 20+ years, it seemed like a good starter pick
>>5129325is Jef trying to seduce me?
>>5129312did you mean non analogue?
>>5129327I should draw some pikmin on this since I’ve got my computer back on
>>5129328Jef loves gardening. And eating bugs.
>>5129342are you a bug
analog horror jef
>>5129331That depends my love... are you... open... to be... seduced?
>>5129423Capy the CaptiveThere is no escape
>>5129341yeah you should.
>>5129399n-no
mnmn nothin; like crcackin opin 13-14 bresr and readin jef thted
>>5129556
>>5129574Can Jef fetch a ball if thrown?What about a stick?
>>5129580Ball yes if he’s in the mood, but not a stick. There’s a video of him fetching a ball on the youtube channel
>>5129583>Ball yes if he’s in the moodWhat a clever little bugger!Jef continues to amaze me every day with his vast array of abilities and plethora of skills.
>>5129574BIG ORANGE
>>5129585jef is high functioning autistic
>>5129574Big Orang doesn't approve of your organizational abilities. He expects the shoes to be in neat rows. This isn't the Shoey household. We aren't degenerates.
>>5129606Those who are dancing look insane to those who can't hear the music.
>>5129607There is sped up, pitched up, Chinese pop music playing in jef’s head 24/7
>>5129615
>>5129630Oooh he's squrmin'>>5129631Ooh he's burnin' to the beat
>>5129640Everytime I bring him out onto the patio he needs to immediately start rolling aroundAlso I’m not sure why it is, but his ears become little Doritos in the summer, and fold back down in the winter.
>>5129641Jef's engaging the heat vents
>>5129641Jef finally grew into his ears!
>>5128818Does Jefrey glow in the dark?
>>5129656only when he drinks that stuff from inside of a glowstick
>>5129669Jef hate leash
>>5129607You can't dance.
>>5129797Narcumptious jef
>>5129793>>5129794Jef is always seeking out new places (escape routes)
jef was rude to my mom once
>>5129827>onceThat you know of
outraged
>>5129839Wow, Jef is pissedI don't like seeing angry Jef : (It's better to smile
>>5129840Here’s a picture of him sitting on the kitchen island like he’s not doing anything wrong
>>5129842This is a good Jef. Nothing bothering him, he's minding his own business. It is how Jef ought to be
sorry guys but I think I'm gonna have to take a break from the Jef thread for a little whilewoke up the other day and thought I actually WAS Jefcaretaker said i had to make a change or it'd be too late, whatever that means
>>5129845Jef is evil Jef is an angry personJef is bitter
>>5129860Jef is sweetJef is kindJef is love
>>5129843A king on his throne
>>5129870"Jef, the peasants are revolting!""Mm, yes, dreadfully so."
>>5129795tell ur wife to paint his toenails
Late night with Jef. what new items are in at the Bazaar?
>>5129842He's on the kitchen island. He's already doing something wrong. He's always a bad kitty. No redeeming qualities. Only mischief and terror. Big Orang never causes this kind of trouble. NEVER.
>>5129839I think she was too hard on Jef.
>>5130030I don’t know, why don’t you ask him?
>>5130089The JEF of Judgment
>>5130097Damn, is that place any good?
>>5130100They got hamburger and fried chicken.Rest assured, you're in for a delicious time when you take your family to Jef.
jefburgers are made out of people
From they Jef original menu, they gotBitter melon burgerNuuyaru burger (bitter melon with cheese and ham)Bitter melon ringsFresh bitter melon juiceAll made with 100% Okinawan bitter melon>>5130116No, they're made out of bitter melon.You're not very knowledgable on Jefburgers, it seems, actually you're quite ignorant when it comes to the topic.
>>5130118I’d try a bitter melon burger but I don’t know about bitter melon juice, that sounds pretty nasty
>>5130122Jef will be the taste tester!If Jef makes a Jefyucky face when drinking the Jefjuice, then you know his Jefbuds didn't like the Jeftaste and it's not suitable for Jefconsumption.Erstwhile, if Jef makes a Jefhappy face when drinking the Jefjuice, then it's Jefcceptable to Jefdrink the Jefjuice.
>>5130124Lets pump the jefbrakes
I do not trust Jef or his burgers.
>>5130122>meow, welcome to my bazaar>would you like to buy these shirts?>perhaps an orange charge cable?>make me an offer, meow
>>5130155>Right meow?
>>5130122set up Jef's Bazaar here. we need a curtain, some color-changing LED lights, and some items for sale. along with a nice pillow for Jef to sit on. and of course, Jef's daily per-diem of catnip
>>5130118Due fairness, that's the local specialty side of the menu, rest of Jefburger is normal
>>5130118>bitter melon burgercummon you fuckers. that's not a burger. don't call it that. what the hell is wrong with you. i don't know what "bitter melon" is, but i know for DAMN sure it ain't beef
>>5130232>i don't know what "bitter melon" isCan't believe I actually get to use this in context for once
>>5130255lmfao gottem
>>5130255stop dunking on me you fucking weeb
>>5130122nyigger jef
Jef is being a real SHIT tonight
>>5130304you don’t know the half of it
>>5130308hes got that crack cocaine rigid jaw thing going on
>>5130308Give us some nice Old Orang pics instead. What is she up to? Is she laying on a soft blanket? Perhaps you should feed her a nice piece of shrimp...
>>5130319Above the refrigerator, in her safe place nobody can get her. She doesn’t like shrimp very much, she’s a picky eater. Her favorite food is some Hagen Nutrience canned cat food which she’ll be getting later
>>5130333
>>5130308>Ya'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Capy
>>51303691000 Leagues in Search of Capy
>>5130333This is a shy suspicious cat. You can tell because while being adorable, both eyes are looking in different directions.>>5130377He's pretty confident for being half the size of big orange
>>5130382Yeah, you’re right. She’s like a deer. Always on high alert.
>>5129006>Jef-Daddy replied to my post
>>5130386
>>5130377>put this idiot back in the bushes where you found him
>>5130377To think that she could have ended the evil right there...
>>5130399Jef uses his vicious fangs and piercing gaze to wrest shrimp from his overmasters.
Has Jef ever read Xi Jinping's books?
>>5130444jef can't read, he's fucking stupid
>>5130448Thats what he wants you to think, so you become complacent as Jefs power and knowledge grow behind the scenes
>>5130453>>5130448You're both wrong.Jef can read but he chooses not to to preserve his innocence.
post a pic of Old Orang laying on a comfy pillow/bed
>>5130122you should actually turn this cubby into Jef's Bazaar. just order a little curtain and LED light strip. put him on a pillow and you could get 200 pics worth of Jef hawking strange items
>>5130333You need to keep Jef away from Old Orang. Jef is an asshole. Orang is tired. Her bones hurt. She needs to rest. You're too soft on Jef, and you condone his bad behavior! That is why your wife must always play the role of bad guy! You let Jef chew the house plants and smack Old Orang on the nose!
>>5130568Not a bad idea>>5130571I already spend a lot of time trying to defend Old Orang from him, Jef has a ton of energy and when he’s got no outlet for it, he goes after the other two
Guys, Jef is a bully
>>5130637Man has learned to mug for the camera as of late
Jefrey acting weird again https://youtu.be/9BobEMcBWFM
we need to dechineseify jef
>>5130693I already tried, it doesn't work.
>>5130671Nice music choice
>>5130693He doesn’t even understand Chinese, only English. Hell, even if he could understand it, he still wouldn’t listen anyway
>>5130741You really seem to agonize Jef needlessly, so maybe he'll understand Polish.
>>5130748We treat Jef great when he’s being good, and we point at him when he’s being bad. Simple as.
>>5130750"We treat Poland great when they're being subservient, and we invade them when we please. Simple as."Do you now see the error of your ways, you villain???
>>5130757That’s a good point, I never thought about it that way
>>5130758Its not a good point, that guy is dumb.
>>5130758Jef will forgive you if you call him a pretty cat. And a good cat.I will forgive you if you post a picture of Jef smiling after being complimented.>>5130760This struggler will not be forgiven until he renounces his sins.
>>5130758I want to hug this Jef : 3
OP, do you ever print out pictures of the thread to show Jef?Or do you keep us away from him cause he'd think we're weird?
>>5130785who is ready for the GOTY?
we need to rechineseify jef
>>5130796>Capycom
>>5130796Operator Jef Operating Operationally on an Operation?
you and the wife expecting the first kid yet??
>>5130796A- for effort but I do agree there was a missed opportunity for capycom >>5130909We’re millennials, and after seeing how miserable the people who have kids are around us, we’re gonna pass. Me personally I had a really shitty childhood and I don’t think I’d wanna pass that on to another generation. Life has a funny way of turning us into our parents.
>>5130912>We’re millennials, and after seeing how miserable the people who have kids are around us, we’re gonna pass. Me personally I had a really shitty childhood and I don’t think I’d wanna pass that on to another generation. Life has a funny way of turning us into our parentsoh stop being gay. the trick to not doing what your parents did is....NOT doing what your parents did. my dad used to beat the shit out of me as a little kid. that doesn't happen now. i ain't my dad. you don't have to be your dad either.
>>5130914I’ve got a lot of reasons, but it’s just not in the cards unless there’s an accident. If an accident happens rest assured I’m stepping up to the plate.
>>5130925JEF NO! PEOPLE DOOKIE IN THERE!
>>5130931be honest, OP. are you known around the building as the "weird laowai with the weird cat?"
>>5130934Probably just on the floors where I walk him around lol. I’m sure I’m setting off everyone’s doorbell cameras when I walk by their doors during my chudwalks with Jef.
>>5130912I'm a semi racist yankee (but not because I think races are inferior, I just think their societies have special problems) but china is difficult because its pretty miserable raising kids. after the one child policy (which suggests few of your peers without abnormally paying jobs have kids) and the seemingly mandatory education/tutoring requirements and hukou requirements for public services, and how the economy is going with the CCP's official position being that for national security all citizens are ants for manufacturing at the expense of everyone but the elite...I dont really blame you(a lot of asian countries have this problem)
the one jef policy has destroyed this sweet chinese nation of ours
>>5130954China could not handle more than 1 Jef per household. the entire nation would crumble.
>>5130912would you be excited or exhausted if you had a son with Jef's personality?
>>5130963That’s like having two Jefs. I’d be exhausted. I love Jef but one is enough.
>>5130965but think about your beautiful baby boy! you could call him Jef Jr (or JJ for short)! imagine how happy your wife would be! (he'd probably look kinda chinky, but i wouldn't judge, cause i consider you a friend)
>>5130924>If an accident happens rest assured I’m stepping up to the plate.can't win if you don't play. get to fuck'n
>>5130966I will admit that Jef Jr does sound like an awesome name
>>5130969Jef would probably be an asshole to a little baby. Big Orang and Old Orang would be very sweet towards a baby i feel like
>>5130973I 100% agree with you
>>5130981If you have a baby girl will the government come murder her?
>>5130925W-where is the flush button?
>>5130948who the fuck calls themselves a yankee?
>>5130994I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you.
>>5131040The boy is LONG
Jef supports trans rights!!!
Nov 2024
Tell Jef he stinks
>>5130796>Featuring DanteAlways good for a laugh
>>5131057>Empress Wu scolds a court eunuch, colorized
>>5131048yea sure, if you mean the right to TRANSport shrimp into his mouth.
Jef still doesn't know what tuna tastes like
>>5131057why is jef sieg heiling with his tail?
>>5131151have you not read Jefstory? the war crimes are nearly uncountable. General Capy took Jef under his wing as a protégé. Old and Big Orang tried to take him to trial but were undermined by ((((angel investors))))
mm bug
>>5131211Jef's hunter instinct cannot be stifled
>>5131204i thought jef was in the chinese wars though
>>5131226how little you know. there are no sides in the big game. only the highest bidder. never played metal gear solid?
have you and the wife been going to church regularly?
what does jef think of morris
>>5131243what the FUCK is that
>>5131024I'm not just a yankee. I'm a yankee doodle dandy
>>5131251you know a "dandy" is a fag, right?
>>5131099Dubs of truth
>>5131252really? I just thought I was james cagney. >are there homosexuals in the room with us right now?
>>5131252https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dandy
>>5131255>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dandy>A dandy is a man who places particular importance upon physical appearance and personal grooming, refined language and leisurely hobbies.Yes, a fag.
>>5131256allllllright buddy
>>5131258Wanna kiss me up? It's okay, I keep secrets...
>>5131246morris. I feed him banana and egg
>>5131272He would EAT Jef, so he's not a fren
>>5131273no, he eats banana and egg only
>>5131274Morris looks as if he has a negative IQ. I love him.
>>5131271no I dont you faggot
>>5131274He looks like he eats stupid idiot cats. Jef would be first on the list..
>>5131276You're pretty rude for a dandy.
>>5131283are you certain? are you a better dandy than me?
bath
>>5131243is that a fucking tsuchinoko
>>5131290you put him in the harness before drying him off?
>>5131292Yeah, I wanted to bring him outside immediately. Better safe than sorry.
>>5131290AHAHAHAHAHAHAJEF, SOMETHING TELLS ME YOU'RE ALL WET!
>>5131289Did he roll in idiot juice?
>>5131243You must be Australian. Also Jef told me he could easily beat up Morris 1vs1, if he felt like it
>>5131296Nope just time for a bath. It’s hot af today so now’s the time so he won’t freeze his ass off while he’s wet
Did Jef do anything silly today?
>>5131300It was unseasonably hot and humid here last week (never gets humid here). Then the last 3 days it poured rain. Weird summer so far.
>>5131301Other than eating a bug, not yet. I gave him a shower, he only cried out twice during it. Also that’s not me putting the ball on my bed
>>5131302Whereabouts?
>>5131304You ain't doxing me you fuckin CCP double agent
>>5131303>I gave him a shower, he only cried out twice during it. ..did you shower with your cat?
>>5131306>2015+11>he doesn’t shower with his cat
>>5131308I think that jef would like to drape himself in velvet
>>5131309He does seem to have a boner for that chair
>>5131297probably. But morris can hiss and that would probably be too scary for jef
>>5131291yes, they are native to australia, not japan
>>5131308prime jef chops for the bbq
>>5131332If you eat Jef, I will find you. And I will kill you.
>>5131336jef is non-corporeal anyway, i don't think he can be consumed by conventional means
>>5131346We have that chinese ice cream in australia. Is it good? I'll get some for jef's sake
>>5131348It’s not bad. It’s dirt cheap here (2 yuan for vanilla, 2.5 yuan for mint). That’s like 30 - 40 US cents. It’s a sore dick, you can’t beat it.
>>5131345THAT is why he gets on the countertops. you give him treats off of there.
>>5131346>>5131349Isn't that the place where they have their mascot beat people up as viral marketing
>>5131343>>5131344>>5131345>>5131346seriously tho, you bitch about him getting on tables and countertops, but then you bait him up there with delicious treats. i seriously wish i had your wife's email so i could send her these pics and fuckin' tell on you. you're the reason Jef is a hellian! you revel in the chaos and destruction! all your wife's lovely plants...
>>5131332Jef is a bad kitty and a terrible influence, but i will FUCK YOU UP if you try to eat him
>>5131575>>5131375You have a point, but he was already up there when I walked by with an ice cream cone. It’s ot like I told him to go there while giving him a treat.
>>5131290Did Jef stay mad at you for awhile after bathing him?
>>5131612He wasn’t mad, he took it in stride. He only gets mad at me if I point at him
New (year old) jef vid now uploadedhttps://youtu.be/zg7KNCYLLfY
>>5131626stop making him suck
>>5131680oppa gangnam jef lol!!!
>>5131533I don’t know, maybe? I’ve never been beat up by their mascot
>>5131685
>>5131348When they 1st came to aus they were so cheap, prices have increased a bit sense but they are still cheaper than other bubble tea and ice cream paces.
>>5131750There’s one downstairs from my house so I’m pretty addicted. It’s not super high quality but it’s pretty decent + dirt cheap. I can get a lemonade and an ice cream cone for less than a dollar.
>>5131753>I can get a lemonade and an ice cream cone for less than a dollar.what a country
i'm going to the city today to get my ears sucked, so i'll try the chinese ice cream after for jef
>>5131864heheheheh i'll suck your ears(your ears are your penis)
>>5131933you ever get your ears sucked OP?
>>5131933big orang is a chubby-wubby (:
>>5131943I can’t say that I have.I’ll make a new thread later btw
>>5131753THREE capy's? Jef is a glutton.
>>5131680Even in his dreams he knows he's under arrest for being a little shit
>>5131933need family portrait with all three
>>5131978He bolted out the front door again today but this time I caught him
>>5131981He longs for the chinese city streets
>>5131933>big orange looking at jef knowing hes about to do something shit
new>>5132116
