So last year I was invited to be a groomsman at a wedding for a guy I haven't spoken to in 10 years. Rather stupidly, I said yes and now I have to attend. The wedding is tomorrow and I know for certain that I will not enjoy myself at all. I don't want to eat or drink anything because it will fuck with my diet and I have done way too good to fuck it up. Plus the guy getting married comes from a Jewish background, so of course I had to pay for my own suit and he tried to get some shekels out of me to pay for a mini-bus. I was informed that traditionally, the bride and groom organise suits/dresses for the groomsmen/bridesmaids. Guess it's different for Jews. (Bear with me, I never been to a wedding before.)I only know two people at this wedding. The one being the groom, the other being a retarded friend of mine who likes to lie to people about his military service (He claims to have been a sniper in Afghanistan). I know nobody else. Not even the bride. This leads to my question.If I go to the ceremony and stay for the party for half and hour, maybe a full hour and then I bugger off with as much stealth as possible, how fucked would I be when people eventually find out I have gone missing? Would I be in a lot of trouble? Thankfully my family are okay with this and said they'll pick me up.TDLR: Going to a wedding, don't want to be there. How fucked am I if I disappear after the service?
>>949996195Just don't go. Why do you care if it's someone you don't even like? Are you a fucking child who lacks autonomy?>Thankfully my family are okay with this and said they'll pick me up.Oh. You're a manchild. In that case you should go. Hang out with some actual adults so you can realize how pathetic you are. You might even get laid for once in your life.
>>949996364I've going because I am retarded enough to say "yes" without thinking. Plus I have paid for a suit and shoes so it would be a waste at this point to not go. I may as well stick around for the ceremony.As for other people being there, I am not really a social person and would rather not bother other people. Also, sex is just yucky.
>>949996573Do you think there's a law about backing out of a wedding? You paid for a suit so what? If I paid money to do something that was going to make me miserable I'd still rather not do it than do it just because I paid. If it's a rental you didn't pay that much anyway and if you bought it and only planned on using it once you're retarded. Seriously why would you care if they get upset if you haven't even kept in touch for 10 years and don't know 99% of them.
>>949996195>bugger off with as much stealth as possible, how fucked would I be when people eventually find out I have gone missing?I've done this once before in similar circumstances. Literally noone knows who you are so nobody will notice you missing apart from the groom. So if you just let the groom know you've got to go then it'll be all good.
>>949996195Just get drunk and munch all the snacks
>>949996817Sadly I did not get a rental because I am an idiot. The reason why I care is because I live in a small town so everybody knows everybody and the groom is often talking with me and my mates on Xbox chat even though I prefer to use PC.>>949997001I am worried about possibly offending him which make no sense because theoretically what I am planning on doing is worse.
>>949997290>possibly offending himyou won't if you tell him beforehand, just make up some reasonable sounding excuse like your family are not flexible about pickup times or whatever because they're doing some other event.
>>949997495That's not a bad idea. Perhaps I will try to think of something tonight.
>>949996195Once all the wedding party pictures are taken, find the photographer and have her/him/them photograph you with your suit untucked like it would be at the end of the evening. Find out if you're going to need to do any toasting or speeches at the reception. Once you're off the hook for that, GTFO. The bride and groom will be totally self-absorbed (nothing wrong with that, it's their day) and they won't be looking out for you. If anybody asks about it later, refer to the disheveled suit photo you had taken and say you were so fucked up by then that you ended up passed out in a broom closet. Or have the reception SWATted. Your call.
>>949996195Invite a bunch of indians. They will ruin everything and you can go home.
>>949996195Get a cheap suit or borrow one and goStay for the ceremony, take some pics with the groom and bride and then explain him that something urgent came up and you have to go. That's it.
Harass the bride then you'll get kicked out meaning you can go home early without having to make an excuse
>>949999579An alternative timeline that begins with this later ends with you having sex with the bride on her wedding ight.
>>949996195Do what those other anons have said OP - go to the ceremony, stay for a bit out of politeness, then tell the groom unfortunately something urgent has come up and you have to leave. If he wants to know why, just say it is something personal.Maybe followed by a brief apology like "I'm really sorry to leave man but thank you for inviting me, I really appreciate it and congratulations"If he is a decent person, he will understand and just continue on with his day. If not, then screw himI am guessing you are young OP?Normal immaturity at the age + getting beaten down emotionally from retarded teachers/adults/etc during early life will give you the mentality of thinking you'll be "in trouble" for situations like this - I can relate and trust me, it is all bullshitThink of similar moments where you have stressed out about some "responsibility" only to find out it was a nothingburger afterwards (not handing in a high school assignment on time, gathering the courage to quit your first shitty job, etc) This is just one of those moments Hope that helps, OP
>>949999028This is the way. They will shit in the hallways, sexually assault the bride and her underaged niece and demand everyone's respect or else. The ceremony will turn to shit, literally. They won't need formal invitations they will go in regardless.
>>949996195Bro how young are you that you don't own a suit and you need to be picked up by family? I hate jews as much as the next guy but at no wedding are the bride and groom just going to buy your clothes for you; they'll tell you the sort of style and colour they want you to wear, but it's up to you to get it. Hell, normally it's only the bride who gives a shit about her bridesmaids' dresses, as a groomsman being clothed is satisfactory.So yeah, is this some kind of orthodox arranged marriage when they're young and the last time you spoke was in middle school?
>>949997290>Everybody knows everybody>I only know two people at this wedding
>>949999028I'm native American and I'm just going to assume "indians" refers to us in this context, because it would make the statement absolutely true, winkte.
OP here. I have decided that the best course of action for me would be to stay a little while and then make an excuse to fuck off.Most of your suggestions have been insightful and I thank you for that. The swating idea and Indians gave me a good chuckle.I thought I should clear one or two things up.I am not sure if I would consider myself "young" as I am currently 26. To me it's an... average age I guess? Again, idk.The reason why I seem to be the exception to everyone knowing everyone thing is because I am not a very social person. I normally get up, go to work and then go home. Normally I play video games like Skyrim, Dead or Alive Xtreme and Koikatsu Party. I have been doing this since I left school which was roughly 10 odd years ago. I don't talk to anybody except immediate family or online friends.Also, I need to be picked up and dropped off because I do not own a car. I did have one in the past but I ended up selling it to my Dad for a higher price than what I purchased it for.
>>950005287You're a baby man.
