what am i even supposed to be doing with my life...all i do is take drugs and listen to music...i have a bunch of video games i could play but i just don't feel like playing them...i'm not even "depressed", i just don't feel like doing anything in particular...i got raped by my female babysitter as a child, i think it was all over after that...is life really worth living? like, if you've suffered for a very long time, and then, your suffering is not as bad as it used to be...what about all that time you were suffering greatly? that time can't be made up for...like, even if you're not suffering that much anymore, all that fucking time is just lost forever...it's really not "good" at all, i mean i know it's not supposed to be good, but if your life is just fundamentally shit, why bother living at all?
