ITT we live in a lunar colony
>>952192645AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i can really feel my osteocytes degenerating
>>952192645Space is fake and gay
>>952192680goddamn it Anon, i told you to not leave the front door open
>>952192713Chuckled
i tried to make a poo in the toilet but the reduced gravity made it float really slowly downward and then i accidentally kicked it and it exploded all over the inside of the lunar colony habitat sorry everyone
>>952192645are the rockets being fueled by the explosive diarrhea lettuce they're growing?
>>952192707i see Seth Putnam has joined us from beyond the gravejoining others is gaygraves are gaysaying something is gay is gay
>>952192645is space mountain nearby?i heard a lot about space mountain as a kid
>>952192645what kind of laws are there in the moon?
>>952192645*farts inside the only oxygen tube*
>>952192766>>952193264You two related?
>>952193342we share a common reality
>throws logfag out the airrlock
>dies
>>952192645>Masturbate>Cum starts floating in space
>lunar habitat covered in cum and shit>my shift is over>jump out the airlock before the next crew arrives
>>952192645>attempts jumping-jack>crushes skull against the ceiling
>>952192645JOHN MADDENJOHN MADDENJOHN MADDENAEIOU AEIOU AEIOUQUESTION MARK EXCLAMATION POINT QUESTION MARK EXCLAMATION POINT
To Ganymede and TitanYes sir, I've been aroundBut there ain't no placeIn the whole of spaceLike that good ol' toddlin' town...Lunar City SevenYou're my idea of heavenOut of ten you score elevenYou good ol' artificial terra-formed settlement...
>>952192645Open up Bob! It's me Bob.
>>952192645Cracking a few eggs is a fucking nightmare.
I hate that I'm not the first one to spread feces everywhere.
>>952197428
>>952192645Help clown broke into sec
>read that the antarctica base has lots of orgies>we dontwhat went wrong?
Guys I'm going out for a walk>dies
hey it's great living in this lunar colony, I'm going to have a big wank cos I can shoot my jizz really high u gay cunt
hey it's great living in this lunar colony, I'm going to fuck an ostrich u gay cunt
hey it's great living in this lunar colony, I'm going to put my dingerdonger in ur mom's wageena and have a big orjasm u gay cunt
*Blocks your path*
>>952192645how deep are the toilet bowls to prevent splashback under 1/6 g?
>>952202264I think there'd be some kind of vacuum system that you stick your dingerdonger in and just let fly with the peeing and the suction collects it all or maybe you just open a little hole in the side of the lunar base and pee through that and it'd all go outside and maybe water the Moon surface and maybe plants could grow there, idk I'm not Werner von Braun am I u gay cunt
>>952192645Who farted?
Dear diary,Another day surrounded by complete retards. Some faggot farted in the oxygen tank. There's a turd floating somewhere. It's hot af because all the computers are running at 100% power to generate lolis. The showers still have not been used. This will be my last entry. I'm going on a walk. No suit needed.
>>952192645>day 1>the first thing I notice is the complete lack of browns>I hesitantly ask oblique questions as to why this is, and what I am able to surmise is that they are incapable of navigating true 3d spaces (because of the low gravity). so they die quickly. and now they've just been stopped from coming for their own safety>As I lay in bed I feel a unique sensation come over me. It's as if an enormous stress has been drained from me>no browns>none of those hostile expressions or those horrible brownoid voices. no sharp-edged haircuts or widefaces. no scams or those hands that look like they were spray painted on only one half.>despite all the dangers of space - radiation, structural or power failure, deplenishment of resources, I am....happy>happier than I have ever been>perhaps this is the future we have been building for all along>onward
>>952203319>day 2>as I stroll the main pathway of dome 1, my senses have to adjust to my new surroundings. I am so accustomed to hearing the "bakbakbakbakbakbak" sound of the Indian, or the omnipresent low hooting given off by the africans even at long ranges.>it is just the quiet murmur of humans (actual humans!) going about their business without disturbing each other.>i hear no trumpets or nylon-strung guitars. no maracas. not one.>no black haired bowlcuts walk by me wafting the smell of soy sauce.>i start to think that maybe I have died. or perhaps, am in the process of dying and my brain is simply hallucinating what I perceive to be heaven as oxygen dwindles.>I am careless. I bump into a woman by accident. she looks at me and smiles "I don't recognize you" she says.>no, I am alive>I introduce myself and we strike up a conversation>the stars are ours.
IT’S BEEN TWO WEEKS SINCE THE NEIGHBOURGH’S FLOOD LIGHT IS ONI CAN’T GET ANY SLEEPI’m sure someone farted in my oxygen tank.
>>952201689*sexually assaults you*
>>952193110rule #1:absolutely NO niggers!>next anon writes what will be rule #2
>>952205218*all people are racist
we would already have colonies off planet if the virtue signaling faggots and christcucks didn’t spend trillions on feeding the bixnoods in africa and here…
>>952205413no, wrong and stupid we'd already have that shit if hundreds of millions weren't impoverished and unable to develop their mental and tactile facilities to improve productivity
the most improvement that ghetto niggers can achieve is to eliminate each other…>muh dik
i’m sure more examples are needed for the self appointed virtue signaling know-it-all in this thread
why da popo finna put dat nigga down?
>>952205413>>952205587>>952205613>>952205637fucking faggots stop ruining a fun thread
>>952192645Those astronauts won't fit in the tiny lunar station, and are going to die when their oxygen runs out. Why didn't they think of this before building the station?
>>952205759picrel is view behind the camera
finna bump a thread wit dat sweet niigerjuice!>its on page 7, crybabby!
Have you guys read the news about the somali space pirates?
Why do so many people here have Earth Derangement Syndrome? Yes, the old world is in pretty shitty shape, but can we not just focus on how fucking base it is on the Moon?
This is Buttskipper IV to motherbase, we are on approach with a fresh tendie shipment as well as other supplies from transactions with the Flying Fuckernaughts of Ligma Major. Requesting landing clearance, over!
Incident Report B-01;S12> hull damage detected in Sector 12> cameras damaged, footage quality compromised > depressurization > camera audio detected honking> habdoors - sealed> Biolab 1 door - sealed > Biolab 2 door - unresponsive> Biolab 3 door - sealed> [2] security teams dispatched> anti-[REDACTED] mechs deployed> repair crews on standby until threat is neutralizedFor your safety, please avoid Sector 12 until further notice. Report any banana peels on the ground, any squeaking or honking noises, balloons, or makeup stains sighted.
>>952208955oh ym god please fuck me
Can you fuckers PLEASE clean up after yourselves? I keep finding turds and globs of splooge floating in the zero-g lazertag arenas, and now I have slipped on not ONE - but TWO fuckin BANANA PEELS today! Where are you monkeys evengettings fresh fruit from anyway?
>>952209148look i don't know what to tell you, watch where you're stepping and dodge all the shit and splooge floating around. you're a professional, you expect everyone to be perfect and not cum and shit all over the place? to have perfect control of their bowels and only use toilets??
>>952209176We have the waste collection pouches for a reason anon. How else do we recycle our water, fertilize our space weed, or thicken the sauce for stroganoff fridays?
>>952209860skill issue
>>952209860Cant tell what is gayer; the fact we recycle proteins a la Chris Chan but with dinner or that we have Suppository Sundays for distributing medicine....
>>952210132Suppository Sundays you say?
a man gets lonely in space, unless he can appreciate a male only sausage fest!>i cant, so i smuggled a black female onto base. she cost me months wages to do so. worth every dollar!her body jiggles so much in zero G. in space colony, (you) dont need to imagine the smells…
>>952210241Yessir, Suppository Sundays. They've been pretty miserable as of late cuz of the lube shortage. The Gooners Intergalactica keep raiding shipments for all our fluids and one cannot help but wonder if they hit Buttskipper IV on its return.
Can we get pest control or something to sector 7 please? I have been hearing thumping and squeaking like someone is crawling through the vents, goddamn vacuum varmints must have gotten in through the exhaust ports again
>>952192645>Okay, so first of all- OH FUCK I'M RUNNING OUT OF AIR
GUYS GUYS I SAW BUTTSKIPPERS CARGO MANIFEST! Suppository Sunday wont suck as much as the last one WOOHOO!
>>952192645
>>952209860>fertilize our space weedStoned on the MOON?? Where do I sign up?
_-= Death Report; Rodney "Thundertesties" Ronaldslystein =-_> occupation - security team> location found - sector 4> boots and clip for ID tags found in a red puddle near empty spray device resembling a selzter bottle; DNA samples of puddle 89% match to colony inhabitant> other 11% of liquid made up of acidic compound - origin; unclassified
Partially recovered experiment log2081-08-04 00:19:29Z>a pack of hyenas were sent to lunar colony for observation>pack dynamics in reduced gravity with experimental mutations>subjects were given liquid oxygen slurry attached to back mounted devices>subjects were released onto lunar surface in an enclosed space>subjects rapidly breached the space and escaped>mutations reduced the need for food oxygen slurry provides hydration>subjects have not been seen since>all personnel are advised to prepare for immediate evacuation
Hey does anybody have a spare hydroponics system lying around? It is difficult to raise venus flytraps on just bugs, nutritious soil and space radiation without the right amount of water.
>>952216489nah i've been having to divert water from the human life support systems to support the ornithological life forms being observed in low gravity
>>952194561In space, nobody can hear you cream.
Partially recovered experiment log2056-02-18 22:10:45Z>attempted use of power dampener on psychoperceptual being>dampener applied and experimental personnel moved to near proximity>personnel attempts subversion and deception of being>personnel vaporized immediately>experimentation is ongoing
=== advertisment paid for by the Winged Wackjobs Foundation ===GREETINGS FROM LIGMA MAJOR FELLOW SPACE NIGGERS! Fuckernaught Bran Flakes with Recycled-Protein Chips are the ONLY way to start your day, one spigger to another! CONSUME THEM WITHOUT RESTRAINT OR WE WILL PROBE YOUR BOOTYHOLE FOR ETERNITY!Fuckernaught Flakes! EATUM EATUM, YUMYUM!
