If I haven't killed myself within the next 12 hours, I'll tell the whole thread I'm a liar. I do have to wait like 8 hours though. Until then, does anyone wanna chop shit?
Your demeanor is very casual for a suicidal person. Does the thought of eternal torment just not bother you or something?
not worth it, figure it out and turn yo life around
>>954827351please dont do it buddy...whats got you feeling like you need to do it?<3
>>954827395I've just assumed since ~3rd grade that I'd eventually end up killing myself at some point. If there was no fear, I'd have been dead a long time ago.
>>954827466I already figured it out. I refuse to be a pawn and go back to college, and I also will never stick with any of the million creative ideas I have. I've been protesting my life for months now not touching my guitar or doing anything of worth aside from working a monkey job, and I'm done fooling myself.
>>954827351What race are you?
>>954827562Murican injun
>>954827540You sound like a young adult in their late teens or early 20s. You have a whole life ahead of you, in my early 20s I had zero ambition and was a burnout alcoholic that used whatever drugs I could find due to life being so ass. I've been where you are, and I can tell you that if you make the smallest effort, you'll figure out a reason to keep going that makes it worth it over time. Hope you find it.
>>954827580You don't want to get married to your 2 spirit boyfriend? This is your only way out?
>>954827675I turned 25 a few months ago. Obviously I'm still in a position where things could change, but I'm done acting like there's ever going to come a point where I'll actually get shit done. Like I could learn a cover setlist and play at bars, I could keep writing music and start small and whatnot, but I'm still gonna end up sleeping in at some point and giving up. The fact that sucess after the hard work is plausible is more daunting than encouraging, since it's more expectations.
>>954827762Knowing that there's a possibility where things change is all you need to hold onto, just give your interests a little effort and stick around a bit longer. You never know what's around the corner.
>>954827927Won't get fooled again
>>954828030I promise you'll find meaning & purpose if you keep pursuing your creative sideIt'll transcend any of the worries you have about other metrics of successSelf-fulfillment and expression are feeling beyond wordsPlease don't throw in the towel so soon<3
>>954828030By definition, suicidal ideation is a mental illness.Are you being treated for anything?
>>954828108>if you keep pursuing your creative side I won't. I'll do it for however long and then I'll give up like I always do. >expressionThat's also another thing. I've never wanted to be honest and express my feelings because it means that I'm present as myself and can be seen. I refuse to cry because it's something that can help me. I must stay miserable in order for me to hate life enough to kill myself
>>954828113No, I was in and out of therapy as a teenager and in the air force, but nothing anyone can do or say can change the fact that I'm gonna have to move on my own at some point, and it's something I won't be able to do, so I have to stubborly hold my breath like a child to have a sense of control.
>>954828274Giving it another shot is what it's aboutYou'll get a hold of it & stick with it this timeYour emotions are worth experiencing & transforming into the beautiful art you're capable of making
>>954828319You clearly need more therapy, and probably medication too.
>>954828522I already know what the way out of my issues is. I have to just do things before I have the motivation to do them and then have faith that it'll work out. I simply refuse to do it
>>954828652Yeah, that's a mental deficiency. One that can be overcome with combined therapy, but if you'd prefer to just die then oh well.I don't know you. I don't care. People die every day. The world keeps turning.
>>954828663Yeah I was just looking to talk shit for a few hours
>>954828677I'm not interested in talking to quitters and losers, so bye.
>>954828681>not interested in talking to quittersWhy were you here?
>>954827351Get a job
>>954828760I still have a job
>>954828766Dubs logged throte clogged
You need to step back from your expectations Anon.Do something different. I had a suicide attempt when I was in my teens. Makes me feel like a pussy for even thinking about it now. Your perspective on life needs a shift. That can only happen if you step out of your comfort zone.Being happy is really a choice, just sounds like you're choosing not to be happy.No advice is really going to change that. You just have to do something different. The Anons on fucking 4chan aren't going to be able to tell you what that is.I suggest something you like. Even if it's fucking retarded. Just do something new, you'll suck at it. But that's life, everyone sucks they just pretend they don't. Eventually they just suck less than the person after them.If you think you;re creative, try something in that field.You don't have to kill yourself, just kill yourself metaphorically. That's how life is, you shouldn't worry about the past. It's actually dead and gone.
>>954828971You're correct, I just already came to that same conclusion and refuse to stick through it.
>>954828971You said> I won't. I'll do it for however long and then I'll give up like I always do. And i feel it, i still feel like this, but i'm going forward, i wanted to be a photographer and i would try to take pictures and do some events, but i always felt like shit and i always ended up starting to do somenthing cool and then stopping again for months, and i was in a cycle i could not exit, but everytime i started i was doing a little more than the last time, and then i found my traction and that did not break the cycle, i just started again a lot more times, and eventually it's working out, it is not easy, but it does work, i don't really want to use made phrases but it is true: it's not important how many times you fall down, but how many times you get up again and continue.Also people help a ton, if you like playing guitar join a band or do a course or wathever you can to find other people that you can share your passion with, also chatgpt can help you with finding places and people
