>Be Oskar Dirlewanger.>Be the following things:>Sadist>Alcoholic>Drug addict>Rapist>Paedophile>Necrophiliac>An absolute madman.>Serve as a machine gunner in the German Army during World War I. (One of the edgiest jobs in the war because WWI was all about mass infantry assaults.)>Get wounded six times.>Apparently evil never dies—survive every time and always return to the front.>Get promoted to lieutenant and eventually command your own machine-gun company.>After the war, all German units in the area where Oskar was stationed are ordered into internment camps in Romania. (The Entente powers' revenge fantasy against Germany.)>Alphawanger doesn't give a damn about those gay orders and marches his men back to Germany.>After the war, spend your time drinking, doing drugs, and generally causing trouble.>Also join a militia and kill German communists while they're trying to stage a coup.>Get shot in the head.>Survive again.>When the Nazi Party rises to power, you're praised as the saviour of a city and given awards and honorary citizenship.>Join the Nazi Party.>Join the SS.
>Still somehow manage a factory owned by Jews. :D>Get caught multiple times for illegal weapons possession and theft.>Eventually go to prison for two years after raping a 14-year-old girl and stealing a police car, which you crash while drunk.>Lose your doctorate, your job, your military rank, and your medals because of your antics.>Get kicked out of the Nazi Party too.>After getting out, carry on exactly the same way.>Once Hitler is in power, rapist paedophiles aren't looked upon so kindly anymore, so Oskar gets sent to a concentration camp.>An old war buddy, now a high-ranking SS officer, bails him out.>Head to Spain after hearing there's a civil war and they need people to kill communists.>Get wounded three more times.>Survive again.>Because of your military success, you're pardoned, and your Nazi Party membership and doctorate in social sciences are restored.>World War II begins.>Volunteer for the Waffen-SS.>Commit an absolutely absurd number of crimes, war crimes, crimes against humanity, and all sorts of similar things.
>All those memes about Nazis making soap and lampshades that have any basis in reality eventually lead back to this guy.>I'm not even going to start listing all the insane stuff Oskar and his men got up to, because it would take all night. Just Google the guy's name and the SS division named after him, and you'll find plenty.>Get promoted to a high-ranking officer.>At first, command only a small reconnaissance unit named after yourself, made up of ordinary soldiers and convicted poachers serving their sentences through military service. Their main job is hunting partisans and terrorising civilians.>Your unit keeps growing until it becomes an entire division.>It starts being used as a penal unit because the memes about Osku's brutality have reached the highest levels of the Nazi leadership.>Make things even worse by recruiting convicted murderers, rapists, and other lovely people serving life sentences or awaiting execution.>Also recruit complete lunatics from psychiatric hospitals.
>Even concentration camp prisoners get transferred into your ranks, because not even the worst concentration camps reached the level of hell known as the Waffen-SS Dirlewanger Division.>Without exaggeration, you've assembled one of the five most random military units in history:>War criminals>Petty criminals>Murderers>Rapists>Edgy psychopaths>Fanatical Nazis>Sadists>Gypsies>Homosexuals>Political enemies of the Nazis>Jews>Psychotic mental patients>Prisoners of war>As you can probably guess from that list, this wasn't exactly a tightly organised, disciplined, honourable German military unit.>Your own comrades were as dangerous to you as the enemy—if not more dangerous.>The division suffered massive casualties because of its untrained manpower, "just charge them" tactics, and constant friendly fire.>In one battle, Dirlewanger literally lost almost all of his men because of those factors.
>Dirlewanger's unit was also responsible for crushing the Warsaw Uprising. (History autists already know what I'm talking about.)>A relatively small unit of a couple of thousand men kills over 100,000 Poles and levels Warsaw.>And the insanity doesn't stop there.>Roam back and forth across Europe carrying out every imaginable—and unimaginable—atrocity and edgy power fantasy.>Osku and his buddies were largely responsible for why Nazi Germany has such an infamous reputation from the Second World War.>Even other SS units feared Dirlewanger and his men.>These guys' kill count genuinely approaches Holocaust numbers.>In the middle of all the fighting, Dirlewanger even finds time to run a concentration camp for a while.>As the war nears its end, Osku is wounded for the twelfth time during the war and evacuated.>Dirlewanger was basically the sadistic paedophile glue holding the unit together through sheer unpredictability and violence.>Everything falls apart.
>The deputy commander is lynched by the men.>The next guy in the chain of command realises the unit is effectively destroyed.>The 36th Waffen Grenadier Division of the SS Dirlewanger is immortalised in the bloodiest pages of history as it is destroyed almost to the last man.>Though rumours say three former veterans are still living in Germany today. :D>The last confirmed sighting of Oskar is when he's arrested at his hunting lodge a few months after the war.>He disappears in prison.>Wild rumours start circulating:>The French running the prison claim he died of a heart attack and was buried in an unmarked grave.>Polish guards claim they beat Osku to death.>Some prisoners and officials also claim Osku escaped or was recruited into the French Foreign Legion.>Years later, sightings of Oskar Dirlewanger are still reported all over the world.>The truth about what happened to him is never definitively established.
sounds like op has a crush
>>24744816Ahaha we know you are trying to get a big fancy post on reddit or twitxer with 100k likes/upvotes, I know what you are
>>24744816based
i like sad songs
>>24744816Kek this dude sounds based
>>24744816
Thread theme of everyone above this post https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=js7GtR_DEBUDirlewanger is the lowest of the dangling fruits, Mengele is greater, and got away with everything to the point where his actions are still effective and successful in the modern age. Dirlewanger luddites, like Dirlewanger himself can only focus on the immediate present like the retarded dogs they are.
