i am average at everything imaginable. and its the worst kind of nightmarish hell. i straight up can not live much longer like this. coupled with the fact that i missed countless life-changing opportunities that have continued to elude me, while i continue to bleed myself dry at work. i'm exhausted all the time. nothing excites me anymore. if i experience any kind of a joy, it's fleeting and only for a moment. i don't believe in myself nor do i trust myself at all anymore. and i have no idea what to do to escape this hellscape. i just found out a guy who graduated a year above me is a member at a country club where the tuition fee is 150k a year. it straight up has me wanting to rope. the epitome of my worthlessness knows limitless bounds. should i just end it? its gonna hurt like fuck for a minute, and i'll probably suffer some truly harrowing regret and remorse during it but then it will all be over and that doesn't sound too bad compared to the daily shitshow i have to contend with internally and externally on a daily basis. before i commit, i just want to know -- is there any way or hope to break free from averageness or is it a permanent disease? you won't hear from me again, i will be reading your replies until either someone convinces me there is a chance or you'll all push me to the point where i won't be here any longer.
>>62432718the country club guy is getting mogged by people richer than him
Be happy that you're average.I'm 5'6".
You make me sound better anon
Sounds like you need some kind of deep reset. Opportunities are always present, but depression can blunt perception and executive function to the extent that you're unable to perceive them and act accordingly. I've been in a similar hole myself and only recently found what I believe to be my chance at life. Don't compare yourself to others, fix your mental health and find your own way. Good luck man, I feel for you.
then kys
