>new guy shows up
>while cooking, he farts
>all us cooks berate him as a disgusting animal
>we tell him he cannot fart in the kitchen- must use bathroom
>next week, prep cook asks us what is up with the new guy
>prep says he was pissing inna urinal
>new guy walks in
>farts loudly
>washes hands
>leaves
we let him do this for like two more weeks

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>>22166675
Can you be a line cook if you have bladder problems? I worked as a busser but I was always curious what it would've been like if I stayed on and tried to be on the line. My issue is I have extremely overactive bladder. For example in an 8 hour shift I'd probably piss 10 times or more. As a busser nobody cared if I disappeared for a few minutes to piss. If I were on the line they'd all notice though, right? Would they still let me? I try to only apply for jobs that accommodate my pee schedule.

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>>22166677
> checked
Must be true, damn OP

>>22166675
when I was a line cook, I worked on an open line exposed to the dining room. Sometimes, if I saw someone watching me work, and they were the "big tough guy dad" vibe, I would suddenly look at them and lick my lips sensually

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>>22166700
I also got all the cooks to use my verbal shorthand, and it ended up devolving into a caveman-toddler language.
>"Little Buddy, gimme jalapeepee poopoo!"
>"Riggum!"
>"And the creamy moisture me now!"
>"Giggers!"
and people in the dining room looking at us like

>>22166680
Wait, what's wrong with farting in the kitchen? Do you really go to the bathroom to fart? That's craaazzzyy.

>>22166704
I just remembered we had a dishwasher/prep cook, and a cook called him "Little Buddy." He did not like this nickname because he was a surly teenager with something to prove. He was on the schedule as Little Buddy. I'm pretty sure his checks were issued to Little Buddy. One day, he got into a screaming match with the manager, and the manager ended it with, "YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE FUCKING FIRED LITTLE BUDDY GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE"

>>22166717
No, it was just a prank. that’s why the story ended with
> we let him do this for like two more weeks

>>22166718
Feel like every business has a little buddy, fella or variety thereof.

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>>22166700
I also worked at a place like this
> be me before work
> try out a Volcano for the first time
> pic rel
> attempt to function at work, can’t get through a single thing without forgetting how the fuck to use my hands
> manager comes over, asks if I’m high
> pic rel
> he tells me to go to the back and cut strawberries
> emphasizes to wear a cut glove and be careful
> come back down to earth in a few hours, apologize to manager
He was cool though, just told me not to do it again. Dude had an obvious coke pinky nail, and i had never been late or failed so miserably from being high lol

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>>22166675
>clock out at 11
>go to bar area
>scurvy-looking guy in a blinking light-up YOLO shirt approaches bar
>bartender asks what he can get him
>YOLO guy just starts snapping off the glass tap handles and throws them around the room
>room_of_panicking_cats.webm
>big black bouncer throws him out the door
>but not before YOLO man grabbed a chair
>I follow. I must see this
>YOLO man smashes chair on the ground
>ten people outside smoking, staring at him
>YOLO man dual-wields pieces of char, chasing people around and swinging in vain
>cops immediately pull up
>YOLO man raises his chair pieces above his head
>looks to the sky and emits a dinosaur roar
>charges the cops
>is tazed by three cops at once
>thrown in the squad car
>everyone's face when
you only yolo once

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>>22166675
>at the restaurant
>4pm on a tuesday
>line cooking
>six meathead steelworkers walk in get a table
>they are drunk as fuck
>loud and slapping the table
>one says a remark to the table next to them, an elderly couple
>says he would fuck the old guy's wife
>old guy calmly stands up, walks over to the steelworkers
>old guy begins to beat the shit of the shit-talker
>drunk steelworkers mob the old guy
>old guy holding his own
>bartender and manager enter the fray
>tables overturned
>food flying
>plates smashing
>other customers in shock
>as this is happening right in front of me, I simply take the tickets of the tables that have been flipped and begin re-fire their orders while the brawl continues
>steelworkers flee
>old guy has clearly enjoyed himself
>everyone's food is comped
the best part was a table of two who looked like they were on a date and the table between them was smashed by the old guy tackling the steelworker while they remained untouched, looking at each other like :0

>be line cook at a lake resort
>slow day
>clock out and go swimming
>nice summer day
>head cook runs onto the dock
>GET BACK IN WE'RE GETTING FUCKIN SLAMMED
>run back into kitchen
>an hour of the most intense dinner rush of my life
>when it was over, the waitresses look at me like I'm a weirdo
>all cooks are in chef's white except for me, wearing only wet undies

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>>22166847
>same place next week
>have a whole hog roast
>like the whole pig skewered over a fire
>save the head
>this will be useful later
>next day
>bartender complaining waitress is hungover in the waitresses' cabin
>tell us to drag her out of bed and get her in to work
>cook Drew looks at me like pic related
>"no fuckin way are you gonna"
>"oh yeah"
>Drew proceeds to recreate the horse head scene from The Godfather
>now we wait
>soon after, screams from cabin
>woke her up good
>I get blamed
>waitress never talked to me again
>Drew retrieves pig's head
>back into the fridge
>next day, see high school history teacher
>put on chef's whites
>put pig head on plate, apple in mouth
>march out of the kitchen
>ORDER FOR MONSIGNOR McCALL
>teacher is revolted runs to restroom
>everybody at bar big laff
>manager makes us get rid of the head

>>22166839
What a badass, wonder if he used to be a fighter
Also your apparently a great employee lmao

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>>22166675
>Seven years ago
>Working at a diner in Billings, Montana
>Have a couple of days off, buy some LSD to party
>Take two tabs and immediately the phone rings
>So and so walked out and and whatshername is drunk in the walk in again
>Forgot that I just ingested drugs, say fuck yeah I'll take the overtime
>Show up, think I'm rocking shit out
>Hey dude, you can go, we got this
>Sweet, hell yeah
>Find out later that I just kept making the same order, two over easy eggs and hash browns, over and over, no matter what ticket came in
>New in, cheeseburger and fries? Heard, two eggs and hash browns, coming right up!
>Did this until they sent me home
>Never called me on my day off again

The restaurant I worked at has a sister establishment on the other side of town. They breifly had a policy where employees could drink beer on the job. One day, the staff decided to crack open the tequila.
>waitresses falling over
>ordered dropped on the floor
>drunken singing and babbling
>bartender fucking up all drink orders
>food half-cooked and prepared all wrong
>waitress dancing on a table and fell off
>hostess puked on the floor
>cooks sprawled all over the floor looking like someone machine-gunned them all to death
>had to shut down at like 3pm

>>22166892
>Is everyone ready to order?
>yeah I'll have a
>We don't have that. All you get is eggs and hash browns.
>but I
>No. You will have eggs and hash browns.

>different restaurant, still Billings
>Owner throws a big super bowl party every year, shuts down the restaurant for the employees
>Turns into absolute degeneracy within an hour, every year
>Booze, coke, weed, meth
>Everyone is fucking everyone
>Everyone but me because I told myself I don't shit where I eat (really, I just couldn't get laid)
>Last year I worked there, all of the front of house staff were impregnated at that same party, by all of the back of house staff (except for me)

>worked at a resort in Seward, Alaska for two summers
>Have absolutely no memory except for sharing a trailer with like two Eskimos or whatever they like to be called, and brief flashes of memories of whale watching, because I used the job as an excuse to get really drunk and really high on a lot of shit all the time. Pretty much like a working, summer long bender
>Would have done it a third time but COVID shut everything down and then I kinda got my shit together during that time period and opted for more stable employment and living

>>22166899
>Same diner
>The aforementioned drunk in the walk in is just an absolute hazard
>Owner's sister's alcoholic friend, supposedly a prep cook but could barely do anything or get through a shift without passing out or hurting herself badly
>Car in the shop, she offers me a ride home
>Get in her car, she has a Big Gulp full of straight vodka that's just been sitting in the Montana summer sun all day, offers me some and then downs half of it in one big gulp
>Nah, I'll take the bus, thanks
>The next day, I'm walking by her as she's cutting romaine when she lets out an ungodly scream
>Blood fucking everywhere, alcoholic hepatitis herpes blood (bitch had herpes) all over the whole fucking case of romaine, along with two of her fingers on her left hand
>Finally got fired after that one

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>>22166675
Worked as a line cook in a hipster establishment in a very leftist city
>most nights there is live music on the small event stage
>usually smaller crowds
>owner decides there will be Rap Wednesdays
>my fellow racist inner circle and I agree that it will yield predictable results
>tell bartender to stock up on Hennessey or the crowd will voice their displeasure
>OMG ANON THATS RACIST YOU THINK EVERY-
>an hour into rap night, the Hennessey runs dry
>the thin veneer of civilization is quickly washed away
>predictable results occur
>police make numerous arrests
>still on the clock, watching the chaos
>use this event as the ice breaker to convert many coworkers to Racism™

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I cant remember many of these but I do know I hate any and all customers with a burning passion. At this one place the servers were told to suggest to these mouthbreathing faggots that the orders shouldnt be modded because it would often fuck it up or we simply couldnt do it because prep for some things was all day, but theyre women so therefore children and retarded. "Is there any way you can....." "I know youre not supposed to but....." "this table is really nice I know it's 15 minutes after close...." no fuck off and die wench. Dont give a fuck if any of these could be legit.

>customer can eat green but not red bell peppers
>customer can have any dairy as long as it's not "poured"
>customer wants his bacon literally raw
>customer wants the tartare cooked
>be cheeky and put double yolks on the tartare if they want the option, gets sent back twice because of it
>ordering eggs like its a fucking steak
>those long ass contradictory allergy lists
>gluten ALLERGY, eats bread at table and a million variations thereof
>customer can only eat "yellow cheese"
>"is the honey made in house?"
>mfs allergic to a single herb
>salt "allergy"

Really, any order at all. Assholes. The gall of these fucking mongoloid troglodytes ordering food.

>>22166902
That sounds nasty desu

>>22166902
where I come from, such activity is called "some real grody shit"

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>>22166675
>be hungover
>everything so bright
>cooking on the line, wearing sunglasses
>waitress tells me to quit screwing around and take off the sunglasses
>I do gif related irl
>I was wearing two
>she physically staggers back in shock

>>22166963
There was an old lady who insisted she had an oil allergy, and that I had to clean off a section of the flat top, always in the middle of the Sunday church crowd, just to cook eggs and hash browns with no oil and she wanted the hash browns crispy. And for some reason, I had to accommodate this ridiculous request every fucking Sunday.

>>22166963
>customer can have any dairy as long as it's not "poured"
>is the honey made in house?"
LMAO

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>>22166675
>be me
>be dork line cook
>new waitress 8/10 latina
>a week in, she invites me over to smoke weed
>we smoke the weedypots, then she asks if I wanna have sex
>says we have to be quick because her bf is coming home soon
>I boink her, 10/10 tits
>get dressed, bf walks in
>we are sitting awkwardly on the couch
>he looks at us and asked if we fucked
>I tell him yessir, stand up, give him a high five and bid that place adieu
>that's how I lost my virginity
>turns out they were in kind of an open relationship
>boink her a few more times until she said she wanted to have my kids
>gently explain that her lifestyle is not conducive to a stable relationship and she needs to stop her sluttery if she wants a quality guy
>she actually agreed I was right
>broke up with her bf and moved out of state
>she must have told the other waitresses about my wiener skills because I started getting a lot of attention from all the waitresses and their friends
the kitchen life was crazy times

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>>22166979
Fucking hate that bullshit. They make up an allergy cuz they dont like it or are idiots trying to lose weight or some bullshit while stuffing their face. After most minorities the church crowd is the absolute worst and I hope they believe in hell because theyre going straight down there. Reminded me of another one,

>can you fry the fries without oil?

If we had a microwave I woulda used it.

>>22166927
It's a wonderful thing seeing these kids who are liberal as fuck quickly become race aware after their second table of ~canadians~

>>22166993
the restaurant I worked at had a lot of (white) canadian tourists in the summer, and you could tell they were canadian because they would tell you they were canadian and how much better everything is in canada as if anyone asked them anything. and the men are effeminate little faggots.

>>22166989
Must’ve been a good wienering, dang

>>22167002
Hah, at that place after I left because the owners started cutting corners they changed the name and got a new kitchen manager, oh sorry "head chef," and she was from canada because first sentence in she told me and got pissed and fucked off when I said Wayne Gretzky was from Texas.

>>22166993
>>22167012
thought I was the only one that had bad experiences with canadians, wow

I just want to say to all the Chefs in this thread:

Thank you for your service.

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>>22167019
Semper Fi

Great thread

>>22166680
I fart in the walk-in freezer like a good boy.

>>22166810
>Tazed not shot
White?

>>22166855
Hope you made headcheese that stuff's great.

>>22167205
electric

>>22167205
Who else would wear a light up YOLO shirt lol

>>22167205
>>22167323
Good morning saaars

>doing prep work
>open box of asparagus
>product of Mexico
>asparagus wrapped in small bundles with rubber bands
> grab a bundle, remove rubber band
>in the center of the bundle was a shank
>scalpel blade, toothbrush handle, wrapped in tape
I guess mexico uses prison labor in the fields

>>22166685
consider wearing a diaper, although 10+ voids may be too much for even a 12 hour diaper. changing one only takes about as long as a typical bathroom visit

>>22166685
Ew.

>>22166675
What sidewalk "below"? Are you on some sort of high-rise building? Most kitchens aren't on rooftops.

>>22167326
That’s a good point, i can see Ranjesh wearing one

>>22166907
I worked at a sports bar for a summer that was like this. Kitchen had weed and the front of house would bring us an unending string of drinks and shots in exchange for cooler privileges. And since the kitchen manager was a also a dealer the supply was basically free. I showed up hung over around noon and left and close fucking lit every night. I have about 45 minutes of clear memories of working there.

Its good you broke out of it. I have known a number of people who really got sucked in to the partying job lifestyle and it always ends in tragedy. One guy I worked with back in the day started chasing those party destination bar jobs and ended up eating a bullet. Several more who did they same thing ended up junkies last I heard.

There is something especially toxic about combination of weird hours, hard ( but drunk/high friendly) work, cash, and a scene made of people attracted to that.

just tonight one of our servers had a really bad seizure at the drink station during the peak of our rush and the only thing anyone could think of was "get anon" while im running expo and two other stations. the MoD is rather inexperienced in that position, but she immediately put her in the recovery position and called 911 while i was cradling the servers head and keeping her airway clear and kept her from biting her tongue. she seized for several minutes and finally came to and we got her sat down at whats basically our chefs table, then paramedics came in a few minutes later. i only had two other people on our 6 station line and sent one of them to serve cause stuff was still coming out, and pulled our dishie onto the line to keep things running. i saw the security camera footage of it after close and it was terrifying, she froze up and started shaking and dropped like a rock. shes staying overnight in the hospital and seems to be doing okay, but im really concerned for her. my best guess is that its related to alcohol withdrawals.

Bump

>>22167201
I do that too and I'm a waiter

>new dishwasher
>normal guy, friendly, good at his job, no issues
>busy weekend
>I'm doing some prepwork at my station that's adjacent to the walk in
>new dishwasher walks into cooler for something
>hear a prolonged, muffled scream
>...
>dishwasher walks out
>completely normal expression
>no acknowledgement of scream
>goes back to dishpit and finishes his shift like normal
Never assume the coolers are as soundproof as you would hope them to be. By the time I left that job, we were going through dishwashers so fast I didn't even get a chance to learn their names by the time they quit. Like a new guy every week. Shit sucked there.

>>22166675
Ive posted this before. but it was like my 3rd day on the job. setting up my station. went into the cooler to grab some sliced pickles out of this 5 gallon bucket. Have to open a brand new one, idk what the fuck happened but it ended up tipping over and spillin g the entire thing, pickels, juice and all over the floor like a fucking tidal wave. literally right after that happens a server walks in looks down, then at my and i just do the hush finger to my mouth thing, she doesntr say anything just turns around and walks away. Scramble to get it all cleaned up, mopped and all. Didnt say anything to my boos, although he was my budddy outside of work and probablyt weouldnt have cared. later that night i hear another server say "man it really smells like pickles in there.

>>22166892
ah ha that reminds me of another story.
getting shit faced on rum by myself, a buddy just randomly comes by, has some acid we decided to take it. Now i had to work the night shift the next day, figured i would be fine.
Ended up staying up all fucking night long, acid makes me speed out idk why. and for me personally i have to get some sleep after tripping balls to reset.
Anyway, idk why i didnt just fake sick and call in but i decided to go in to work anyway. and wouldnt you know it, i'm training a new guy.....still on residual acid and rum, no sleep. FML. luckily he was training non salad station so it was fairly easy weekday shift with a normal dinner rush. it went pretty smoothly actually. oh fuck i remember to, right as i was walking out my manager was like "hey man, good job tonight" hehehe, no clue.
Walking out that door that night was the best feeling ever, it was nice and cool fall night.
Drove over to my buddies house, smoked up and played wii sports....good times.

>>22171308
not his fault you can't keep your girl under control. nor is it his fault you're dating a whore. being "the other man" is a completely no-fault situation, and it also doesn't matter if you do it or not, because whores will just find the next guy to fuck them if you don't, changing nothing.

>>22166675
fucking piece of shit epson garbage

>>22166704
>jalapeepee poopoo
jalapeno poppers? can't figure out the rest though

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>table 3 has placed an order

>>22171845
Profoundly semitic reasoning.

>>22166963
>ordering eggs like its a fucking steak
I hated this when I worked as a waiter in a breakfast place.
>i want the sunny side UP and only slightly yolky, not like water but also not like maple syrup, so when i puncture the golden yolk it runs like a gentle lava floe and not like a rushing lahar

>>22166894
didn't happen
>>22166902
nope, doubt it

>>22171845
Low trust behavior

>>22168936
Reminds me of a time with my first job
>working as line cook in small greek restaurant
>we can see the diners, they see us
>recently hired this petite unassuming bookish girl
>one saturday evening a middle aged couple come in
>about 10 minutes into their meal, older man suddenly slumps to the floor and starts seizing, drool from the mouth, arms and legs shaking and godawful guttural noises
>everyone in kitchen freezes just trying to process what is happening
>other diners either retreat in fear or start filming on their phones
>the unassuming, introvert waitress quickly takes lead, puts him on his side, undoes shirt buttons, ordering people around
>after seizing for what felt like hours, guy abruptly stops but then becomes incredibly aggressive
>trying to hit, spitting, falling over while trying to grab stuff
>everyone panics and try to subdue man, but waitress just keeps talking to guy in loud but calm voice to tell him it's ok, you just had a seizure, please sit down
>message must be getting through because guy eventually just sits in chair, giving death glares to everyone
>older lady of couple scared shitless, says man never had seizure before
>ambulance arrives and he's sent to hospital
>waitress continues shift like nothing happened while we're all shellshocked from event
>turns out she's been a trauma nurse for the past 3 years, was working at greek joint for extra money
Older man eventually came back almost a year later to give his apologies over the whole thing, he found out from the seizure that he had a brain tumor the size of a golf ball. He owned a small pastry shop and gave us free treats despite most of the staff, including myself, standing there clueless with his seizure. They were very delicious fried pastries, I think they were some Turkish dessert. He had to close down his shop due to his health unfortunately.

>>22171907
>>22172063
Seething cuck posting that requires every man on planet earth to nobly refuse as his gf goes door to door looking for anybody else to fuck

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>>22166963
Lost my shit at the raw bacon. Thanks anon.

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>>22166685
>Addicted to anime
>Can't handle his piss
Listen I like anime as much as the next guy but you make us all look bad when you do this

>>22166704
I hate that guy but that's a great gif

>>22166685
They hire anybody who shows up

>>22172221
It’s not getting cucked to reject a whore, you mongoloid

>>22166717
They did an experiment checking toothbrushes for fecal matter. The controls they left in the kitchen also had fecal matter.

>>22166892
Two tabs is a lot but this much out your mind? I don't know I must have super powers or something because I be stressed to hell and having a panic attack instead kek

>>22166902
What the fuck is wrong with Montana

>>22166685
Dude go to the doctor unless you're chugging gallons of water as well that is not normal

>>22167002
Obviously a stupid thing to do in the US but it's a legitimate safety concern when travelling to make sure you are not mistaken for american.

>>22171308
No this is based but only if you tell the guy so he can leave her. You gotta tell the cuck mike campbells when a whore is a whore

>>22166680
>we tell him he cannot fart in the kitchen- must use bathroom
Wow. What sort of monsters are you?

I guess I could never work in a kitchen, then, since I basically emit a continuous fartstream sufficient to power northern Germany.

Sure am glad I got a real education and do something useful and get to fart in the dining room while you wagies are slaving over making people's meals in the back.

>>22172781
Consider going back to school, because you clearly lack critical reading skills.

>>22168936
>Wayne Gretzky
You can put something soft in her mouth to keep her from breaking her teeth. I recommend either your wiener or her panties.

>>22172838
Didn't notice that I'd quoted the name, leaving it because it's funny.

>>22167618
slow down there wes

>>22171533
What a lovely memory anon. Acid is also the same for me I will be awake for 24+ hours, every time I take it I am reminded it is not a party drug (for me)

I don't really have that many great stories working in restaurants. We had one poor guy who was addicted to meth and got fired for it. Company was stealing tips from us. Some absolutely insane dishwashers and kitchen help, normal stuff. The only funny story I can think of is this:
>Work at ramen restaurant
>Boss hires a person who used to work for the company as an assistant manager (which was retarded we didn't need any extra help in that way)
>Native American guy
>Within the first week of being hired he is fucking God awful
>Won't stop going to our tables and chatting with our customers and checking in on people we have checked
>Boss loves it because he thinks he's smoozing
>Guy starts singing feliz navidad loudly
>Boss asks him to stop then
>Guy goes in kitchen and just straight up ladles himself some soup
>Won't stop talking to tables
>Boss fires him since he is obviously tankard
>End of shift we're all sitting together minus boss, laughing and having a drink over it
>Guy randomly comes back to cuss us out then staggers away
He sounds based as hell in this recall but it really was just obnoxious drunk being retarded and my boss compounding the retardation by thinking he was great.

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All kitchen staff are drug addicts??

>>22168936
>freaking out over a seizure

Roll her into a corner and quit caring

>>22173513
Many are. It's kind of a shitty job, you have to deal with other druggies or just absurdly rude people. Super hot back there, cramped spaces and injuries galore if you're not careful. You get paid absolutely shit for it too.

>>22173513
If we count everything that might qualify as a "drug"
>actual drugs
>weed
>alcohol
>tobacco
>slamming energy drinks
>psychiatric medication
Then yeah I suspect you will find literally close to 0% of kitchen workers who are not "on drugs"

>>22173513
A lot of coal miners got fucked up on ether to try to make their jobs more bearable back in ye olden days. It's a similar cause and effect with how much kitchen work fucking sucks. Most of the pressure is from chronic industry-wide understaffing and the resulting workload. Taking a quick smoke break to finish your shift stoned helps with this. As referenced by many stories itt, a huge percentage of linecooks and other restaurant staff will be on a lot more than just weed too.

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>>22173515
How many knife tattoos do you have

>>22172068
Not seizure related but
>be me
>waiter
>serve a family which are regulars during a hot summer day
>middleaged couple with child and grandparents
>have a pleasent chat when the dad suddenly tells me he isn't feeling so good and that it might just be the heat
>tell him I'll get some more water
>the moment I get back I see him slumb over with drool couming out of his mouth
FUCKING HELL.JPG
>rush over, slamming the water garafe on the and pulling out my phone to call emergency services
>a nurse from a neigbouring table already but him in a stable position
>moments later the GM rushes over aswell
>tell him what happened and that an ambulance is on the way
>he nods and rushes to the entrance, telling new patrons to wait from entering till the emergency is resolved
>moments later the ambulance arrive and take uncocious customer away
Weeks later they returned, turns out he has diabeetus wich he didn't know about before. We also canceled the bill that day it happened.

>>22166675
>drugz!
>sexo!
>more drugz and sexo!
My chef was a straight edge Mexican and the majority of the time I was on my phone because there was no business.

A guy came back for a wing missing from 10pc, and we handed it to him in foil.

There was a nice customer that brought homemade moonshine.

That's it.

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>>22166675
gud thread

>be me
>17yo working as busboy in fancy resort restaurant
>met life convention in town
>so many ppl it was fixed menu
>so many ppl i got volunteered to be in kitchen
>assembly-style plating
>1 guy plops a steak on the plate
>next guy baked potato
>quick doubletime.exe
>guy on my L drops steak on dirty greasy floor
>oh no
>assembly chain interrupted
>everybody freezes for a sec
>chef yells, "Pick it up, plate it !"
>yes chef
>back in dining room, handing out food
>end of meal
>whew, glad that's over
>insurance salesman tugs at my sleeve
>sez, "would you please tell the chef that was the best steak i've ever eaten"
>dowatnow.lol
>consider doing as asked, but figured chef was po'd enough as it was
>he might think i was being funny & fire me on the spot
if i'm lying i'm dying

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>unemployed for ages cause of covid
>money runs out, move back home
>get pathetic job at some fuckass pizza place
>pay so dogshit they only hire criminals and children (and me)
>6pm, manager says fuck it and leaves
>3 other line cooks leave cause they were scheduled for after school shifts
>closing with a very autistic 14y/o who doesnt communicate well
>cleaning up the back when the printers pops off
>"huh, that was a lot of orders all at once"
>5 more orders in 30 seconds
>10 more orders in 30 seconds
>10 more orders in 30 seconds
>20 more orders in 30 seconds
>try my best to not swear at this actual child and tell him to get busy
>250 orders in the span of 2 hours right before close
>15'x20' lobby filled with 50 angry doordashers and commuters wondering where the fuck their food is
>wait is 2 hours minimum as im cashiering and building and cooking and expoing all at the same time
>50+ orders were abandoned and just left there cause people didnt want to wait
>kid and i close in silence, never see him again after that
turns out the brilliant owner decided to run a one-day promo with mailers where you could buy one get one free at this location on this day only. faggot never told anyone else and never scheduled staff for it.

>>22172610
Cenk may be the most based man of our time

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>>22174313
Sounds about right for a dumb small business owner.
> be me
> overnight baker for local donut shop
> turnover is insane, especially for baker
> making 75 - 120lbs of donuts a night, weekends higher obviously
> come into work and throw away 2-3 55gal trash cans full of donuts every single shift
> place is kept open 6am-7pm, only one baking shift.
> no discounts for the last few hours at night
> Boss is paranoid someone will fuck with his business
> he’s either there or watching the cameras
> we’re in a wealthy suburb, no one’s doing shit
> boss asks weekly about how to get more customers, doesn’t take any advice or make any changes
> brags about living off Red Bull and donuts, being at work all the time, and still making it to his kids sports and whatnot
> i crash my car from falling asleep at the wheel
> quit shortly after because I’ve lost a bunch of weight and am barely functioning
> boss tries to sabotage my new place of employment by calling to talk shit about me unprompted
> new boss just thinks he’s crazy
> i leave a voicemail threatening to sue because i was pissed, wasn’t going to do shit
> Donut retard dies of a heart attack 6 months later
> pic rel
I legit feel bad for his family though

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>>22166927
We had a grand total of four blacks in my 8 years in a kitchen.
>first was a surly 20-something
>came in with gaudy gold jewelry
>did not give a fuck about how to do his job
>tell my boss he will be arrested within a week
>within the week, he is arrested for transportation of cocaine across state lines

>second was a loudmouth
>fired five days in for repeated sexual harassment of waitresses and customers

>third was a worn out old coon
>whole prime rib roasts go missing
>he is suspected
>creep his facebook
>pictures of him making prime rib
>fired

>fourth was a scruffy, nervous quiet guy
>obviously homeless
>did his job well
>then
>random profane outbursts to himself
>GAHH NIGGER! FUCK SHIT NIGGER!
>we are on an open line in front of the dining room
>management and I suspected Tourette's and maybe some schizophrenia
>move him to the prep kitchen with same pay
>still working there when I quit

mfw when the best black by leaps and bounds was an insane hobo

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I was "too stupid for cut table"™ so I was allowed to drive and wash dishes, but never touched line
>small town pizzer hut
>boss asks me to run to walmart and buy two big bags of ice as soon as i clock in
>seems like a weird request since we have an ice machine but ok
>buy the ice
>car gets stuck on the drive back because it's snowy and my car had bald tires
>kind dude helps me push my car out of snowbank
>drive back to the store
>despite walmart being a 5 minute drive from the store, this whole ordeal took me about an hour roundtrip
>dump ice in the walkin and report back to the boss
>turns out, he wanted me to buy iceMELT because our sidewalk was slippery
I've thankfully become less stupid since then

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>>22171889
>a second club sandwich has been ordered

>be me
>get job at McDonald's
>2008, economy is shit, minimum wage
>one of my coworkers is a black guy maybe 4 years older than me that my younger brother called a porch monkey on the school bus when he was in 4th grade
>tiptoe around this for a couple weeks
>he asks me about it, I pretend I don't know about it and say that was horrible
>he calls bullshit, says I was there and says it was one of the funniest things he's ever seen

>>22177354
>be same person
>still 2008, economy is shit, more supply than demand for labor
>I'm very smart but I'm 16, so working summer job at McDonald's
>existing employees quickly realize I'm not retarded
>one of them went to prison for arson for burning down an old movie theater because he was bored
>existing employees send me and someone else into the freezer to get a bucket of ice
>I start washing towels
>other retard is in the freezer for 15 minutes without a jacket looking for the ice
>we call him back out when it gets busy

a week later
>we send him in the fridge to go get some "plain sauce"
>he's in there for half an hour
>finally comes out and says he can't find the plain sauce
>we tell him to keep looking
>comes back 10 minutes later and realizes we're fucking with him

a week later
>he's putting patties on the grill
>drops a bunch on the floor
>starts rubbing powdered sanitizer on them to save them
>arsonist yells at him
>he gets fired

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>>22172781
>I basically emit a continuous fartstream sufficient to power northern Germany.

>>22176427
Based hobo doing trying his best.

>>22176216
Wow that guy sounds like a big jerk. Did you stop eating donuts after working there?

I don't like the Pingu poster

I like the Pingu poster

I don't feel strongly about the Pingu poster one way or the other

I think the Pingu poster is gay

I think the Pingu poster is straight