I can't fucking cook. Just tried to make eggs for the 200th time in my life and fucked it up completely, half the egg was stuck to the pan even though it was swimming in oil and it's mostly burnt. I have no idea how you are supposed to tell when something is actually burning or not.Also fucked up rice for the billionth time earlier, it always either burns or comes out watery and mushy, often I'll have to add more water to it because the stupid shit boils off before it's done.
>>22172099Double QP at McDonalds is only $3.72 with the app.
>>22172099rice: picrel. wash your rice, soak your rice, bring it to just when it starts to boil but dont let it boil, immediately turn down heat to low and cover it with a lid. when your timer beeps do not open the rice. take the rice off heat and let it sit for 10 minutes without lifting lid. for eggs you need to make sure your pan and oil are hot before adding the egg. if you're doing fried eggs, cover them so the top steams. use medium heat.
>>22172120btw you dont need that particular type of rice. this method works for all white rice.
>>22172099get a rice cooker, seriously bruv even the Asian students in my commercial cookery class at Tafe fucked up stovetop rice.>I have no idea how you are supposed to tell when something is actually burning or not.Sight, hearing, smell. You have senses and (probably) a brain, use them.What kind of eggs were you trying to cook? sunny side up?
>>22172099I mean if you eat rice a lot, just get a rice cooker. you can't fuck it up then. even most experienced cooks use one. the egg thing, sounds like you just need to learn temperature control. you can tell that stuff is burning by smelling it. use your senses. cooking's really not that hard. it takes practice, but just slow down, think about what you're doing, read recipes thoroughly, and listen to your senses.
>>22172120What's the difference between a soft boil and a normal one? How do I cover a pot without it blowing up from the steam? >>22172130I have no idea what type of egg I'm trying to cook, I don't know what sunny side up is. Take your condescending nigger behavior and shove it up your ass, obviously I have my senses but I have no fucking clue how to actually tell if something is burning or not. Burning and cooking smell the same to me, I can't see what I'm cooking depending on what I'm doing and how the fuck do you HEAR burning?
>>22172099Aight homie. If you've fucked up eggs 200 times, it's probably not you. If the eggs are sticking in the pan, you probably need a new pan.Rice is more difficult. I'm not sure what type of rice you're using. If you're trying to save money, just know that the cheapest rice is also the most difficult to cook. It might be worth it to purchase 'parboiled' or 'converted' rice. It's already been partially cooked to reduce cook time and make it easier and more consistent. Pic related. All you have to do is follow the instructions on the box.
>>22172138>What's the difference between a soft boil and a normal one? How do I cover a pot without it blowing up from the steam?difference in intensity of the boil. just bring a pot of water to a boil and watch it. you want it bubbling a little, but not bubbling as intensely as it does at its peak. pay attention to how it progresses.to stop the pot overflowing, just don't fill it up too high. or you can take the lid off intermittently for a second to release some steam if you notice it starting to boil over.> Burning and cooking smell the same to meno they don't. ok, you might think they do, but pay more attention. you HAVE to learn to use your senses to be good at cooking. that includes smell, sight, sound, and obviously taste. it might take some time to start recognizing what certain things smell, sound and look like. you have to practice like you do with any other skill. but pay attention and start registering how your senses react to things in the kitchen.
>>22172138>how the fuck do you HEAR burningVolume and pitch of dat dere sizzle in the pan changes under different amounts of heat and as the food item loses moisture. You can't HEAR burning but you can HEAR when your food is cooking faster than it should be, which leads to BURNING.>pic related from inside your kitchen.
>>22172138Nta but your senses are how you determine when things are done.. it takes time to develop that skill, and the answers are different for each dish, or even steps in the dish. Only thick cuts of meat need some sort of measurement. Knowing what kind of egg you want will help us help you btw. I get that you’re frustrated but if you can’t handle the advice just go watch YouTube videos and keep at it. > what’s the difference between boilsThis isn’t me being rude, but Google a video of it. To describe it for you though, a rolling boil is when the water is bubbling vigorously, like jumping up maybe an inch or so. A simmer is when the bubble is short, the surface of the water only jumps up like a quarter of an inch. When it’s simmering, a lid should stay on just fine, no exploding off lol
>>22172099Good thread. Can you cook pasta?
>>22172138nigga what the fuck do you mean you don't know what kind of egg you're trying to cook? how do you expect to get anywhere if you don't even know what you're trying to make? take a step back, figure out what you actually want to cook before you start cracking eggs (metaphorically and literally)
Take a cooking class. Posting a thread on 4chan with a gif of kermit the frog is more complicated than making most egg dishes. You're probably fucking up a few critical things out of sheer ignorance and if a teacher was there for the process they'd tell you exactly what to change so you never fuck it up again. The cost would pay for itself in the amount of wasted food you don't fuck up.Or keep being a cooklet fag.
>>22172334>just interact with normalfilth
>>22172138were you born in a fucking test tube or a laboratory? how did you not have family to teach you how to cook?
>>22173148>he talks to his normalfag family instead of screaming and hurling piss jugs at them when they interrupt his gaming sessions
>>22172147>Aight homie. If you've fucked up eggs 200 times, it's probably not you. If the eggs are sticking in the pan, you probably need a new pan.are you retarded? 200 failures absolutely means its him
>>22172099>egg stuck but was swimming in oilHot pan cold oil. You didn't let your pan heat up beforehand so you didn't get that microscopic water vapor film that forms under food while cooking.When cooking with oil you'll know it's ready for the food when it starts to shimmer. It'll look like little subtle waves like the light scattering at the end of a deep pool. Also never heat a pan to temp with oil in it unless you want burnt oil taste.
>>22173159>You didn't let your pan heat up beforehandI've tried this before and it just starts boiling/spitting the moment I pour it in>when it starts to shimmerOil always shimmers, it's fucking oil.>Also never heat a pan to temp with oil in it unless you want burnt oil taste.No idea what that means, you just said the pan should be hot.
>>22173161this has to be bait if it isn't you should genuinely kill yourself
>>22173165ironic cause they'd be better at cooking than you are>200 tries to fail at eggsgenuine mental problems
Better kitchen equipment can make cooking SO much more enjoyable and less stressful.For eggs, go out and buy a non-stick pan. All non-stick pans will work, although cheaper "lower quality" ones will lose their non-stick quality faster.For rice, I would recommend a $20 rice cooker. You put in the rice and water, press 1 button, and walk away. The machine will automatically turn off when the rice is ready to eat.
>>22173169couldn't learn from 200 mistakes award
>>22173161I'm sorry I can't help the mentally infirm. You should commit end life. Good day.
>>22173172>OP buys a non stick and poisons his dna so we never get more OPsbased advice
>>22173155Who the fuck are you talking to?
>>22173169what's the point of coming here for help if you're just going to be combative and lash out at people trying to give you advice? you know what, just give up. you clearly don't fucking care. just order doordash for the rest of your life you incompetent fuck.
>>22173211Not him, but not you
>>22173212Absolutely blew her the fuck out. Incel trolls on suicide wristwatch.
>>22172099Go cook something else. Idk why you have to start with eggs, when minced and diced meat could be far easier. Idk why you have to start with pan frying when there is boiling and steaming.
>>22173177You can say "retarded" and "kys" here, FYI. This isn't reddit or YouTube comments.
>>22172110Fuck off.
>>22172147That rice is never cooked right. It's always too al dente.
>>22175162I've been banned before for the one with the 'k' and the 'y' and the 's'. Be careful with that.
>>22175205Your IP was logged by an assmad janny.They get real petty and track your posts until you say something just borderline enough to warrant flagging for mod review. If you're unlucky, it works.
>>22172099get some beans, get some bacon, get some onion. chop onion. chop bacon. boil for first 20 minutes, then cook on low for 3 hours. delicious beans.
>>22172099I will give you actual practical advice because you got dubs.Turn down the heat. Start with heat at halfway open and if you still burn stuff or they come out overcooked, turn the heat down to quarter way open next time you cook. Keep practising with this low temperature without ever increasing the heat and cook with this reduced temperature every single meal until your food comes out perfect every time. When you are good at the low temp you can now start practising with a higher temp. Also never add water to rice. It's better to turn down the heat very low and cover the pan to allow it to steam. Only add water if you know what you're doing (which you don't).So essentially, turn down the heat and get comfortable with being patient. All other advice itt won't work if your heat isn't right.
>>22173142Clearly OP can't learn to cook an egg without direct supervision so that's what is left for him. If he wants to be eternally shit at cooking just so he doesn't need to talk to someone once for an hour then that's his baggage.
>>22175205niggerfaggot janny banny got you scared to say kys 4 real my man?
