itt: culinary crimes
>>22200930Is that a grilled cheese? What sort of talentless, ugly, stupid, fraud can't make a grilled cheese?
>>22200920If this was shaved coconut with a chocolate drizzle instead of rice with sprinkles then it would be a proper gimmick sweet/desert. It would filter out no-taste frauds who can't handle coconut as well.
>>22200925What's European blend?
>>22201005I have no idea. Perhaps it blames the United States for all of it's problems, I dunno.
>>22200930Shouldn't the cheese have MELTED?
>>22200951That's so foul. That's the kind of nonsense those ninja turtles from the old cartoons would eat. Because they're insane.
>>22201005I tried looking it up but can't really find good information. It's strange. The only difference I see is that the European blend uses canola oil while the original uses soy. Maybe they try to mimic the flavor of cultured butter or something more flavorful like Kerrygold compared to basic American butter.
>>22200996Based
>>22200920No joke I could see desert sushi being kinda based. Use sweet sticky rice, use more sliced fruits and candies, roll it in a thin sour roll and top like picrel. Maybe I'm just a fat ass Goyslop enjoyer but ide eat that. Ide order it if it wasn't too much for a gimmick.
>>22200996The rice is fine, it's what they make mochi out of
I'm just going to loiter until my OC starts getting poasted
>>22200920>>22200923>>22200925>>22200930AND THEY SAY WHITE PEOPLE CANT COOK!
>>22201527But coconut would be better.
The NyQuil chicken. Classic.
>>22200951I'd eat it
>>22201543you eat cow poop for breakfast shut up
I once made hot dog aspic. >boil hot dogs>add gelatin>kraut>onion>mustard seed>ketchup>refrigerateI don't recommend it. I have a picture somewhere, I will see if I can find it.
>>22200925This is so cursed to me, don't fucking say what it's not, say what it is. What is it? 45% vegetable oil spread, but what's the other 55?
>>22201662>but what's the other 55?Water,
Hard to beat
>>22200923>What's wrong babe? You've barely touched your clam chowder pop.
>>22200996There is no "following" to "consider". You just have Down Syndrome.
>>22201543BUT MY BLACKED-ADDICTED YELLOW ASS SURE CAN!
>>22200996If my grandmother had wheels she would've been a bike
>>22200920sticky rice can be eaten as a desserte.g. mochi, mango sticky ricejust take the fucking seaweed out
Rate my cherry pie /ck/
>>22202483i've had your mom's cherry pie before. it was 6/9 if you know what i mean :)
>>22202497
>>22202501Those are cheese grits you liar.
>>22202552>he doesnt know
>>22201698Stahp
>>22202483Better than the gluten free cherry pie I’ve had to makeWould eat
>>22201005This is without bbc semen which is banned over there
>>22201698
>>22202483looks aight. like worse than something you'd buy at a supermarket but better than something your retarded autistic cousin made
>>22203112My autistic cousin is a baking savant, she could make some serious money at it if she wasn't autistic.
>>22201192>Use sweet sticky riceThis guy knows what he's talking about. Honeydew instead of cucumber, for instance. Maybe garnish with some candied ginger instead of pickled ginger.
boiled potatoes and bacon
>>22200925
>>22202140closeIf your grandmother had wheels she would've been an even better town bicycle, just like if OP's pic had coconut and chocolate it would've been a better desert
>>22201698YOU AINT FROM DA OKLAHOMA PANHANDLE UNLESS YOU HAD DIS!!!!!
>>22200951Not that crazy
>>22201698White trash.Normal white people eat fresh food.
>>22202497All you have to do is fry it and it becomes god tier.
>>22203331> his joke but worse
>>22202641kinda wish i forgot about that thread
>>22202557So don't tell Scotty
>>22203133There's no reason why that should stop her.
>>22204218That's literally what this tastes like.
>>22204574>picNo fucking way that's real.
>>22204574People always find it hard to believe this franchise is a thing in the Netherlands.They also often ask if brownies refers to the type of people working there too.
>>22204760https://www.browniesanddownies.nl/menu-english
>>22204365You don't understand his reference if you thought those jokes were similar.
>>22204916Is there a reference other than that Italian guy and the carbonara clip?
>>22203858oh this is from that photoshoot.
>>22204981The Italian guy in the clip was saying that adding wheels to his grandmother or changing that carbonara ingredients makes them irreconcilably different, implying that the ingredient changes to the sushi roll would have the same effect.I was saying that because his grandmother was already a town bicycle, adding the wheels just makes her better at it instead of something completely different, just like original sushi roll was already a desert and adding coconut and chocolate just makes it better at that.These were not the same joke at all, he didn't even say his grandmother was a whore.
>>22201698What possesses someone to do this?
>>22203317Thank you, I needed that.
>>22202497>>22202501>>22204178not a crime. i do this everytime if i have leftover egg from eggwashing + breading chicken breasts.clump it up, 2 minutes in a pan with a little bit of oil and it's pretty tasty.you can add a bit of cheese in the middle as well.raw is tasty too, but i try to avoid doing it with eggs that touched raw chicken for obvious reasons
>>22204144
>>22204760>>22204574have another one on the same vein.https://www.pizzaut.it/en
>>22205081The golden spirit of the Eastern wind
>>22205081if i had to guess she was dared to and needed the crack money
>>22205158
>>22204574The only thing she has interest in is going for long walks where she writes down the licence plate number of every car she passes. Her parents have tried getting her a job but she doesn't do anything, just sits there until she sees her chance to start walking home and logging all those licence plate numbers she will see on her way home. She does not bake often and no one taught her to do it, we assume she just learned through osmosis at grandma's house. Started when she was about 20, her parents woke up one morning to find a fresh baked pecan pie on the counter. She eats nothing she makes and won't eat any food that is combined with other foods or seasoned, only plain whole foods.
>>22205108its not a broth because it has neither meat nor vegetables plusit has dairy asuming its dairy milk, it cannot be a sauce because sauce is either cooked or blended or otherwise processed in some way, it can be a beverage but only if the cereal is still crispy or if it has sunk to the bottom
>>22205235>only if the cereal is still crispy or if it has sunk to the bottomwhat is the alternative here?
>>22205246nta but soggy cereal still floats
>>22205066Oh, i see the problem. You’re autistic
>>22205158Looks like my american meat fleshlight
>>22205311The problem is anon was dumb enough that he needed two different jokes explained. Instead of clarifying the difference I should have just called him a fucking retard like you are.
>>22205342It’s an unfunny additional joke, there was no misunderstanding. Nothing you said cleared anything up. My claim that it was the same joke is because your attempt at expanding on his joke to call the grandma a whore isn’t funny.
>>22205416>it was the same jokeJesus Christ...Our jokes were opposites from each other. His was that my sushi change was too different and used the grandmother example, and mine was that they were similar and ironically so was his grandmother to a bicycle because she was a whore. >I didn't find it funnybecause you needed it explained like an autistic retard. This is your last (You) before your handlers take you back to your adult daycare center, treasure it.
>>22205453It’s not literally the same, but you’re playing off the reference and format. Your version made it way less funny, nothing needed to be explained. You taking my comment literally to this extent is why you’re being called an autist.Turning that around on me for calling your joke unfunny doesn’t change anything
Big mac sushi
koolaid mac
>>22204574no that place is really pretty good considering it's a chain, and dutch. what a god forsaken food culture, except pickled herring, that's great
>>22205234Based. Is she single?
>>22205234That is so silly, i hope she’s happy
>>22205234it's for her
>>22205659Why is it chicken?
>>22206467Because that poster is a retard
>>22205453Jesus Christ go take your ketracel-white and stop being a retard.
This one always scares me. A testament to mankinds arrogance.
>>22206658Looks fine
>>22201005>What's European blend?It's going to be the version that conforms with EU food safety laws.Probably has to have less transfats or something.
>>22202641> tranibalKeK
>>22202641This guy's clearly never eaten greasy deer meat
>>22201005They use motor oil instead of sunflower oil since they have no seeds oils as a result of supporting ukrotrannies and Israel.
>>22200920
>>22206658>breadgluttony
>>22203170more like fag and cheese
>>22205234How would she feel about a man calling her mommy?
>>22207522She’d probably feel like going for a walk to write down license plate numbers
>>22207602This is delicious
>>22207659But its, like, slightly excessive so that means its a CRIME
>>22206658Just because my grindah challenges all of God's own creations doesn't make it a culinary crime anon
>>22205234uhh she can have my license plates any time
>>22205081crack
>>22207648
>>22207801missing the point mouthwash through white bread
>>22204574>"Sir, you want to work here? How retarded are you?"Legit interview question
>>22203171You're not supposed to boil the bacon.
>>22207682Does it get you high?
>>22208091>You're not supposed to boil the bacon.But then how would his potatoes taste like bacon water
>>22210197It is best to do a reduction with your bacon water and serve over your potatoes, that way you get a more intense flavor and your potatoes still taste like potatoes.
>>22207661an entire jar of peanut butter, an entire jar of jelly, and an entire package of bacon on a whole loaf of bread isn't "slightly excessive"
>>22205081money for habits, why did you even ask?
>>22200951i'd go crazy for this if i was high
>>22200920the seaweed is questionable but banana rice is surprisingly good.... even if you're not somalian and a scammer.
>>22200925my dad used to eat this shit and leaves leftovers in the fridge for months stinking it up until it expires.
>>22202557>>22204569i dunno what u meant but if you read the ingredients, some hotdogs actually have milk in them?
>>22203926they're gonna get brainworms. especially the croc and racoon eater.
Using other people's expensive kitchenware and then not treating it properly
>>22210530Fucking kill yourself
>>22206832>piccall the cops on /ck/
>>22200920While drunk and stoned one night I ate an entire carton of cottage cheese with sauerkraut. At the time I thought it was surprisingly good so I tried it again sober and it was not good at all
>>22202483Looks like shitProbably tasted amazing>>22204218This reminds me of that story Gavin Free told about going over to his friend's house as a kid and watching him pour milk into a bag of crisps so he could eat it like cerealHe never went back (and rightly so)
>>22200950it was this guy
>>22210523Scotty doesn't know
>>22201698Couldn't you get dysentery from this?
>>22200951Actually, this is not that bad...
>>22203170Just looks like artificial colouring, I am sure it's fine (or perhaps not, I kinda don't like mac and cheese)
>>22203337Okay I don't even understand why this was posted, looks like a normal sausage, it just seems to have vegetables in it also
>>22212878The file name is sushage, so i wonder what’s inside…
>>22212882oh I see
>>22200920would if it was mango sticky rice and rice paper in lieu of seaweed
>>22212882I don't see the issue because I am retarded. Please help
>>22212916sushi sausage dummy.
>>22203170fagaroni and dick cheese
>>22207602Elvis was going through some serious shit. Imagine being a Tennessee boy with a heart of gold and you see the dark depths of the Jewish music industry. I'd be doing H and eating 'nana 'butter sammiches too.
>>22214197Why would you be doing that? If you hate it so much, why wouldn't you do anything about it other than eat yourself to death?
>>22206671It's the broodwich you newfag
>>22214187>nut>skeeti
>>22200920A clown roll is more than just bananas and rice. Sure it's bananas and rice, but it's also things that go good with bananas and rice. Like sprinkles
>>22200930hey look i used fancy ingredients and totally missed the point everyone!next ill make a pizza out of lettuce and carrot paste and bake you a cake made from rice starch!they need to legalize weed in england ASAP. this is the kind of dissonance only sobriety and alcohol cause cause
My worst mistakes1. The mushroom soup2. The sesame chicken3. Crabdogs
>>22204218I distinctly remember my phase of doing this after my parents divorced and had to feed myself.Also popcorn with cream instead of milk and sugar on top (super good but reminds me of sad times so haven't made it since
>>22214374This. I like Friday wetherspoons but I wouldn't mind getting a toke with the boys at a reefer pub
>>22214218lol he thinks he has any power
>>22214227I dont like sundried tomatoes, its fine
>>22214187Kinda want to try that.Might be a fun dessert for my girlfriend's son.
idk why i have so much of this shit saved.
>>22214374Weed is brown. Alcohol is white.
>>22200920The bananas look angry
>>22214886For once I agree with brown.
>>22214890Wouldn't you be too if you were them?
>>22214821used to work with a guy named ramgurt but he got sent back home
>>22214377> crabdogs? do tell
>>22215636I unrolled imitation crap legs into a sheet and then rolled the cheapest hotdogs up inside of them and cooked them over a tealight candle with mayonnaise and probably moldy bread. It was one of those things where I had to take a long water break between every bite in order to not vomit
>>22215642...are you literally homeless or something
>>22215646No but I was an addict and too lazy to get up
>>22215587Get some mayo and dill on it and spread it onto rye bread and we're in business
>>22205081Midwest M&Ms:Methamphetamine and moonshine.
>>22212878>>22212916Sushi stuffed in sausage casing like a sausage.
>>22204574>retard thinks down syndrome and autism are the same thing
>>22204569SCOTTY DOESN'T KNOW THAT FIONA AND ME DO IT IN MY VAN EVERY SUNDAY
>>22214334What's so funny about a bulging mail sack?
>>22201698She would have been hot in her early 20s, a couple years prior to this vid
>>22205158Hey don’t knock snout-burger-dog
>>22203858Man that star wars hotel sure was crazy
>>22215709>um sweaty don't you like know that like homosexuality and bisexuality are two completely different things?I really don't care specifically where on the spectrum you are. To normal people being on the spectrum at all puts you in the same group.
>>22205234what does she do with the numbers?
>>22202641Trans fat is bad for you.
i actually don't know what's going on in this one. i just saved it. i think the file name was an acronym but i can't remember what it was.
>>22205234Hey anon. Sounds like she’s a level 2 autistic person. The running away and trying to write license plate numbers could be very dangerous for her safety as she could get run over or worse because she’s focused on getting the numbers. This symptom of running away or leaving a designated or safe area is called elopement btw.ID HIGHLY SUGGEST ABA. Do your homework however. Unfortunately because she’s an adult, it’ll be harder to get services. Cause reality hits and insurance too and the latter basically says>it’s a loss And >it’s a lot easier to handle a 5-11yr old when they’re having a full blown meltdown or catatonic state, imagine doing that to a full grown adult with adult strengthDepending on where you live, she ages out of special extended school at 22.Still, I would encourage her to do her baking as it seems to help her regulate and gives her some dignity,
>>22212878A youtuber made sushi rolls by hand, put them into a grinder, and then extruded them into sausage casings. They were bad.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOdHN0k4N34
>>22200951would
>>22201068>something more flavorful like Kerrygold compared to basic American butter.idk what this is even all about. I have Kerrygold, I have grocery store brand, and I have Cabbot sweet cream butter which always wins best butter every year. I promise you, I cannot tell the difference between them as far as flavor goes. For some reason though, the butter they give you for appetizer rolls in restaurants always tastes noticeably yummy, even when it's in those little packets.
>>22204574i bet the girl in the middle is one sick freak. that many tards to wrangle at once in a professional setting must be hell for a normal person. shes getting groped and hand-down-pants masturbated to in plain view of customers daily
>>22216815I used to work for a company that hosts schools for retarded kids. I had to work in a professional setting around hundreds of them. They are delightful and very easy to work around. Everyone is always in a good mood and they're hilarious. Intentionally and unintentionally.
>>22215709picrel, all mental illness and intellectual disability fall under the umbrella of retard to me.hell, even physical abnormaities. tiny hand guy from Scary Movie 2? retard hand>>22216025i keep having to explain this, funny how it's always to autists and spergs
>>22216815Downyism is a spectrum. On one end are the mouth breathing animals who can't wipe their own ass or count to ten, on the other end are your average people but with noticeable physical deformities. The ones allowed to work in this establishment are more than likely the latter. At worst they're a little too huggy and she's either too stupid to notice or too polite to chastise them when they hold the hug too long to feel her boobs on their chest.
>>22216815You are creepy
>>22202643instead they use paki semen
>>22214227no it's not
>>22215642that's sounds like it would be pretty good with non moldy bread and a savory sauce like spicy mayo
>>22216316This looks edible
>>22200920Does this count?https://youtu.be/-41YUSZ9VAg?t=54
>>22216821
>>22214479oh, im sure devontavious would love that
>>22212432yeah but he's playing with a handicap
>>22205235So the fuck is bobba tea then?
>>22219163soup
I can't tell if mine is a culinary crime or innovation. This is all I had in the fridge and I made a chicken katsu sandwich. Except instead of a sandwich, its in a wrap. And instead of frying chicken and making a mess in my freshly cleaned house, I air fried some Dino nuggies.
>>22216390there is no context on the archive either. i can only find a reddit post without context there as well.i think what they were going for here was some kind of creamy cheese chicken casserole, but they used actual cream cheese instead of making their own sauce. as for why it has so much standing water, i think they used canned chicken in water, and did not drain the water.that is the kind of chicken that is so over-processed it never tastes good no matter what you do with it. just the smell you get from cracking the tin is a warning sign you're about to fuck up at cooking tonight. cats don't even like it. contains too much salt.the fact that it's so sloppy around the edges of the pan make me think either it was prepared sloppily, or it boiled over. so that is gonna be some extremely inedible spaghetti. looks very overcooked too.despite that, the top didn't brown anywhere. i don't know exactly what ingredients they used, but it seems like it also wasn't even in there long enough to produce a satisfying crust, so i don't think that was what they were going for. basically very high heat for too short of a time. they may have actually only pulled it out early because the bit that boiled over was burning on the bottom of the oven.
>>22220036that is disgusting, thank you.
>>22214821>idk why i have so much of this shit saved.I say the same thing when I look at my gore folder.
>>22219462>breaded chicken and salad in a tortillaholy shit, someone stop this madman before he pours tomato sauce on pasta or honey on cheese
>>22205234she mindrapes your normgroid ass daily
>>22220705I wish she would rape my ass daily
>>22214479One time when I was a kid I went to a birthday party for one of my Asian friends and they served ramen noodles with cocoa powder/sugar on top to the kids. It was actually pretty good, honestly
>>22201662I know. 15% more what, exactly?
>>22205106>2 minutes in a panYou're not supposed to cook it
>>22205234I can love her
>>22219462Kino
>>22215707Is the rice still rice or is it all blended shit?Cause that could be pretty fucking tasty with the right sauce.
>>22214886Both is Bronze Mediterranean God
>>22215657So you carry these ingredients with you at all times?
>>22222614Looks actually more appetizing than cauliflower crust
>>22223004Definitely not. At the time, I had a mini fridge within slumping distance, my table with candles, and I was all good to go. You can always make smores that way too, and they're not bad
