Why don't we eat squirrels
Speak for yourself city boy
>>22214987But anon, we do eat them
>>22214987Chunky boy>I cannot find the nuts I buried! Now I am gonna starve!!
It doesn't count unless you can buy squirrel in supermarkets and restaurants.
>>22214987they cute
>>22214987We do colored Boy
>>22214998He's eating a nut
>>22215007this, also they're just cute rats
>>22214987I've managed to start a cult of squirrels around my house that will religiously kick my screen door every morning until I throw out some nuts for them to eat.
>>22215039based. Mine just stare at me through my window.
>>22215039the audacity of animals never ceases to amaze me. they bang on your door for free food every single day without any intention of ever returning the favor. the thought probably never even crossed their mind. so incredibly self centered and rude.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqo_GbzCjmg>he doesnt go out in the woods to shoot his own dindins for sammichesngmi city slicker
>>22215050That's not actually true. There was a cute viral video a few years ago of a squirrel leaving a cookie next to the door of a woman who had been feeding the squirrel for a while. She got home a little while later and looked at her surveillance camera video to figure out who the hell had left a slightly chewed-on cookie on the brick ledge by her front door.Animals, even squirrels, do understand reciprocity.And then there was that woman who saved a trapped crow, and the local crows adopted her as one of their own and started bringing her gifts regularly. Admittedly they were just bits of junk the crows had picked up, but they were trying to return the favor in the only way they could.
>>22215013Nah, man, a squirrel's got personality. Rats crawl through sewers and eat garbage, whereas squirrels live in trees and eat nuts.Sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker.
>>22214987Damn boi he thicc
>>22215050Speak for yourself, I've been feeding crows outside of work for the past three years and they leave junk next to my car occasionally. Granted it's junk to me but the thought and action speaks volumesMy cat also regularly brings me nice, birds, and lizards and leaves them next to my bed
OP if i remember correctly, back in the day the caloric intake from eating a squirrel would put you into the negative after having to hunt/break down/ and cook the animal....i could be wrong though. over all idk man, i just wouldnt want to, i would try it for sure but they just seem like vermin even though they are cool animals.
>>22215039You>I started a cultSquirrels>wake the fuck up nut slave
>>22215121Nonsense."Back in the day" you'd hunt them via traps and when really doing it for calories would just cook it as is. Extra protein and the fur burns away.
>>22214987look at that giant, morbidly obese, fatass squirrel.
>>22215121it would take like 20 seconds to skin and gut a squirrel. people don't go into caloric negative when they scale and filet a fish.
>>22215173maybe if you’re a master whose been doing it your whole life. it would take several hours for a city slicker like myself
>>22215186according to Golden Kamui, you just have to make a cut in the felt and just pull it off.
>>22215092if you don't think squirrels are rats you must live in the city. they get into and fuck up everything. if you live rural and you own any buildings or cars of value you should shoot all squirrels on site. and you can eat them if you want. eating squirrels was pretty common in rural areas until like the 1990s. food security is a relatively recent phenomenon and people used to eat anything they could kill or forage.you shouldn't eat city squirrels though or any animal from the city since they subsist on garbage.
anything that small tends to be 80% parasite
>>22215213my neighbor has like part of their house hanging under their roof, I don’t really know how to explain it but I’ve seen squirrels living in there for months lolmust be so annoying
>>22215328they will literally chew a hole through your walls to get in and then start fucking your shut up. they'll chew through wires as well so all it takes is a squirrel jumping up into your engine bay and your car is now fucked. the squirrels are probably in his attic. or maybe even inside his walls.squirrels are cute but honestly rats and mice and groundhog and shit are all cute. unfortunately at some point you have to choose between cute rodents and your house and car.also double fuck bats because they're protected and it's illegal to kill or even remove them where I live so if they get into your attic it's illegal to plug the hole they used to get in.
>>22215213>>22215328I forget where exactly, but if you think rodents are bad, imagine having little monkeys as your local pest. South America or South Asia I believe this is a problem. The locals hate the monkeys and will kill them on site and sometimes eat them. Next time you scream >FUCKat a little mouse running in your house, imagine if it had thumbs and WAY more cognition
>>22215346>also double fuck bats because they're protected and it's illegal to kill or even remove them where I live so if they get into your attic it's illegal to plug the hole they used to get in.this is like the laws that say you cant throw away old engine oil or other car fluids, just dont tell anyone about it, dumbass
>>22215348I concede that must be far worsecan’t imagine getting mugged by a monkey for my fresh produce
>>22214987I heard they're high in cholesterol
I understand you have a squirrel problem. Please allow me to present a turn-key solution.
>>22215348sounds a nightmare but honestly Id love to just strangle a monkey for stress relief. I don't think id eat a monkey just for fear of it having easily communicable diseases though.>>22215350yeah obviously but it's an annoying and added level of stress. I live rural but I have neighbors who can see what I do if they cared enough to look. and I'm social so then I have to concoct some lie about what I was doing if they ask. if there's a squirrel I can just kill the squirrel.>>22215369my neighborhood is full of cats but there are still mice and squirrels and shit everywhere. I think unless the cat is a bloodthirsty psychocat they only kill bigger shit when they're hungry, which is almost never if they're owned and fed.
>>22215348a lot of American cities have a problem with those as well
>>22215377I had a female cat for fourteen years. She was the Ted Bundy of cats. Anything that landed, crawled, slithered or hopped into the yard was dead if she had anything to say about it. Over the years she brought home too many birds to count, some garter snakes, mice, a rabbit, a live bat (that was a fun one) and some larger moths and other insects. With people she was as sweet as candy, but if another animal dared to enter her domain she turned into the bloodthirsty psychocat you describe. It was awesome. Miss her to this day.Find one like that and it will put a significant dent in your rodent situation. See if the Humane Society near you offers barn cats. They're some murderin' mo fuggers.
>>22215378Simian problems in the inner city you say? Hmmmm.
>>22215384nah despite my distaste for rodents I like animals and I'm pretty sure my neighbors would shoot or poison a cat that was killing everything it saw. also 2 of my neighbors have chickens so if the cat went near them it would definitely become a pile of meat and buckshot.
>>22215213squirrels are rats that climb trees and look a little cuter
>>22214987I sort of want to go squirrel hunting because there's an invasive species that is wiping out the native ones so the laws should hopefully be lax about them.
>>22215039I don't know why you're bragging about being a walking nut dispenser that gets bullied by squirrels. If they start demanding that you do it you have a problem. I'll feed them when and if I feel like it. If they'd bang my door I wouldn't feed them because that's just encouraging bad behavior.
>>22215515Squirrly wrath! Tweens shlicking on StickAM
>>22215515would be kinda based to fatten them up then eat them though. it's like a free range squirrel farm.>>22215525you put nuts in and squirrels come out
>>22215529I met more kids with this shtick back in the day. Second Life, Gaia, sigh... only actually met a few. We had some fun. Actually taught one to shoot a .22 long and she killed a woodchuck once. God I hate gophers. I mean independent from everything I've said, I really really hate gophers.
>>22215536Yeah that era of the internet was lightning in a bottle. All good things must come to an end. I just didn't think it'd be all of them at the same time.
>>22215544You weren't around for the comic chat servers and USENET were you?
Remember Jake and booty call? Romp? The girls I met loved that.
>>22215126KNOCK KNOCK KNOCKOHHHHHHHHHHHHNUT SLAVE, NUT SLAVETHROW THE FOOD THAT YOU HAVE SAVEDFEED US NOW YOU FILTHY KNAVELEST YOU SEEK A RODENT’S GRAVE
>>22215546by the time I was old enough to have my own computer I think usenet was basically dead. I used IRC a bit. But eventually everyone just went to instant messengers.
>>22214987>urbanite retardation: the post
>>22215010>He's eating a nut>a nutBlind or retarded?
>>22215525>>22215529I remember this from a very long time ago, what is it from?
Back when tiktok was new I was walking around my college campus and saw some sorority girl making a big show out of feeding a squirrel a French fry with some sort of sauce on it. I saw red for some reason and ran up and knocked it out of her hand and told her off for feeding garbage to a squirrel that could make it sick. Didn’t realize she was recording until she held up the phone near me.Honestly very lucky I didn’t end up going viral as the psycho who assaulted a sorority girl over a squirrel.
>>22215570my screenshot was from the amityville toaster episode
>>22215563It was quasi-dead but then you had binaries. Full speed divx encoded movies and dvd9s and yeah, some communities still existed. Talk less. Binaries more. >>22215570Neauroticaloy yours or something. Hot topic stuff.
>>22215571Jeez did you naruto run to her?
>>22215571did your spaghetti fall out of your pockets too when you went to knock the fry out of her hand?
>>22214987>We>Do
>>22215109The stuff crows leave is just junk they happened to carry around when they spotted food.
>>22215665Nah I was about 5 feet from her when I noticed. If anything it was more like the Prince of Egypt "leave that man (squirrel) alone" scene>>22215684In the moment I was in firm collection of my ghet but upon recollection I can feel my current day noodles loosening...
