So I have a couple lbs of hamburger in the fridge that needs to be used up soon, before it goes bad. So I went to the store earlier today, and headed to the Hamburger Helper aisle. What I find there is pure desolation. I couldn’t even process it at first, not a single box on the shelves. After standing there for a minute, the reality of my situation hit me like a fucking train. I almost fainted. I ran back to my car and called my wife in tears. Next was the suicide hotline. I’m now back at home just sitting here staring out the window, having no idea if my family is going to survive. I’m completely Helpless.
Is hamburger helper good for you?
Have you ever asked yourself who helps the hamburger helper?
I know you're just shitposting, but fuck it.One box noodlesOne pound borgarOne can evaporated milkOne thing cheeseMelt cheese in milkBoil noodleCook burgerCombineWa laHamburg Help
>>22218513>one can evaporated milkhuh
>>22218513What if the evaporated milk is gone?
>>22218515Is that the stuff that smells like old cum rags?
>>22218504It helps>>22218509Probably the rarely seen right hand
>>22218513You can also do it all in one pan the same way you make helper. Brown the beef, add pasta/milk/water, simmer until pasta is cooked then add cheese to melt.
>>22218486buy 99 cent man n cheese, cook the meat w some onions in a pan then add the packets and some milk or water, stir it until it thickens. if you have pasta add it to it.
>>22218618does it actually help the hamburger?
>>22218627Time to grow up
>>22218637You know what they say about time
>crave basic default hamburger helper>buy stuff to make later>mom ends up making it>says she added flavor to it>added herbs n spices>it IS good>but really was craving basic bitch helper slopkino>doesnt satisfy meautism in action..
>>22218486>>22218613People will add too much water and anyone who treats HH as a staple food will lack the culinary understanding to simply keep a kettle of boiling water handy to top off the pan as it reduces and the pasta cooks. Better to pivot to baked tomato beefaroni.>>22218486Crumble cook a pound of 80/20 beef with chopped onion and bell peppers, a quarter pound each in a small bit of additional oil, about 1tbsp; season as it cooks with beef stock powder rather than salt (I like Maggi).Stir in flour to make light roux.Use it to thicken a mix of 2,5 cups + 1tbsp tomato juice and enough water to equal a quart.Boil water. Add salt and boil ⅔lb of pasta or curly egg noodles to just barely barely barely halfway done then drain.Tip out into a baking dish and toss with 1,5 half pound packages of shredded cheese.Pour the tomato/beef mixture over the pasta/cheese mixture and stir to combine well. Top with the rest of the half pound package and place into 350°F oven and bake until done.Cost breakdown:$4 beef25¢ onion25¢ pepper5¢ stock powder1¢ flour1¢ oil$1.34 tomato juice66¢ pasta$4 cheese $10.67 totalEat with a salad. Radish ribbon is good and cheap. Feeds four as a main, 6-8 as a side.
>>22218486>fridgeDivide it into portions, pack it in ziplock bags, and put it in your freezer.>no hamburger helperIt's just a box of pasta and a seasoning packet. Substitute a regular box of pasta and your own seasonings. Brown meat, add whatever vegetables you like, add seasoning, add a tablespoon of flour, then add water and pasta and boil the pasta until it's done.
>>22218891Oh, also add cheese at the end if you like. I usually don't because the beef is fatty enough, but you can.
>>22218486>not "I am completely Helperless"You had ONE job.
>>22218486You might be retarded. Hamburger helper is just a quick pasta like macaroni and cheese or any of that pasta roni stuff. Any of those $1 pasta dinner packets is exactly the same as hamburger helper. I've never once fallen for that gimmick. I add ground beef to these things all the time.
it's just pasta and sauce>get pasta>get saucewallah
>>22218486just use the burger meat to make hotdogs.
>>22218959I need help and you want to call me retarded? as if you think a pack of knorr is a sufficient replacement? it feels like a fat guy is fucking me really hard right now
>>22219048thanks for the suggestion I guess but there is no Hotdog Helper so it’s kind of a non starter
>>22218486Add the seasoned meat to pic related. It tastes practically like Hamburger Helper. You can even add a can of tuna or salmon to it instead of ground beef.
>>22219130would salmon mac actually be viable?
>>22218486Why not just make beef and mushroom stroganoff?for the sauce use greek yogurt and/or sour cream with dijon mustard, shallots, salt and pepper, worcestershire and a little white wine.
>>22219467OP here, huge update.I was at my parents’ house for dinner tonight. I was sitting in the living room with my wife and kids while they cooked. I thought I smelled something…oddly familiar. I just shook my head and put the thought out of my mind, surely I was just imagining things. About an hour ago it was time to eat, I went into the kitchen and was greeted by a very welcome surprise. On the stove was what appeared to be Hamburger Helper. I couldn’t fucking believe it.>oh my god, you made Hamburger Helper? where did you get it?>no, it’s just beef stroganoff, homemademy mother repliesthe impossibly large smile slowly faded from my face>excuse me?>yeah it’s homemade, way better than that stuff in the box. The words coming out of her mouth didn’t even sound like English to me in the moment, I flew into a rage and started shouting at her, trying to get any sort of grasp on whatever the fuck she was talking about. I was confused, scared out of my mind. Had she finally lost it? was it time to put mom in a home? Is this the sickest joke ever conceived, being played on me by my own parents? Countless harrowing thoughts racing through my mind. My mom is uncontrollably crying at this point, as are my wife and kids, and she’s desperately trying to say something about cream of mushroom soup but I’m not trying to hear of any of it. I break my beer bottle on the counter and back her into a corner with it. My father says I’m scaring everyone and he’s calling the police. Even though this is the 2nd worst day of my life I decide it’s not worth it. I stormed out of the house and sped off into the night. That very well may be the last time any of them see me again.
>>22218603>the rarely seen right handanon... that is the right hand
>>22219441It's good with fettuccine alfredo, like >>22218959
>>22218486A few months back I was trying to get some of the 4 cheese lasagna delivered, but all the boxes were family sized using 1.5 lbs of beef.when I found the regular size it was only available as a 12 pack.now I have all I'll need for a couple years if they hold up
>>22219852You speak nice pls post more comfy
>>22218486>I’m completely Helpless.fucking keeeeek
>>22219104SO USE TWObruh
Just make hamburgers instead. Your wife will love you more for it and she won't go to bed at night dreaming about cheating on you with Tyrone because you keep forcing her to eat shitty boxed pasta and cheese.
>>22220716well what do you think Tyrone cooks for her?
