GUESS WHAT THE FUCK TIME IT IS!(low rent late night tv)TIME FOR GOD'S FAVORITE SHOW!I stole some asshole's airbrush kit at the game store, fixed up the set, banged enough pills to stand up straight but forget my mother's name, AND FOUND ME A RECIPE!Anons.How. Much. Butter.SHRIMP SCAMPI!I pick a pretty normal recipe website (epicurious, mccormick, betty crocker, allrecipes tier website) and you try to figure out WHAT AMOUNT goes in the recipe crack cocaine told me was awesome.It's a guess. It's not fair. I've never met my biological parents because of a house fire.NOW FUCKING GUESS.
>>22243402i dunno, I could practically eat a brick of butter, but I made shrimp scampi and it gave me the shits for a solid week so I wouldn't wait around trying to figure it out. cook that shit before it goes bad or throw it away you fucking poopdickschizo.
>>22243402>SHRIMP SCAMPI2 tablespoons
BAM! We got fish on Johnny!I'm gonna tell ya... seafood is like pussy. DON'T EAT CHEAP AND DON'T EAT OLD!>>22243418I'mma gonna give ya the straight dope, Mac. The bag you're holdin is a little... *light* says the boss. No deal!Let's up that cow-slime content!
It also wouldn't be fair if I didn't mention, 4 servings.
Oi everyone get in here, the village idiot is acting up again!
>>22243431Been called worse by smaller men with wierder dicks than you, and been thrown outta better places than this joint.
>>222434263 tablespoons.
>>22243440Yeah, you're alright. I'm not answering your fucking question though.
>>22243462What I'm gonna tell ya kid, and it's cause I like ya... see this game, it's got no heart. The answer is usually something like a LOT when you think a little or vice versa. Don't take it too hard. In fact, I've always had my eye on you young Skywalker...So like it's maybe more than TWICE or god, 3 times that amount. It's somewhere in there, I have some memory problems until someone says the right thing.Don't let The Game bug ya.
>>22243402I don't know what shrimp scampi is, but I'll say 100g.
Shrimp Scampi's a pretty thick dish already with the fettuccini, so I'm gonna say for a decent portion for one would be....7 grams.
>>22243503This anon is so close I was going to give it to him, but my producers are tighter than two coats of paint during the depression.Buddy you're close enough to make a man smell the lactose!>>22243511What we're gonna have to factor is that when you serve this thing, it's gotta move. Clumps will put any chef in the dumps! I'm with you on the pasta, that's one that grabs a sauce and that sauce cannot be sunday gravy.
>>22243478going back to 2 tablespoons and calling shenanigans.
>>22243517I promise you when the answer comes up, the game moves on.This thing, it's italian understand? Might have like, you know a little extry.
These fuckin mooks, they love-a butta!Fat phase: It provides the primary lipid component of the sauce, carrying fat-soluble aromatic compounds from garlic and herbs and distributing them across the shrimp and pasta.Emulsification: When combined with the aqueous components from wine, lemon juice, and shrimp juices, agitation creates a temporary oil-in-water emulsion. This gives the sauce its opaque, creamy-looking appearance rather than leaving a clear liquid with a separate oily layer.Texture: The dispersed fat droplets increase viscosity and provide a smooth, coating mouthfeel. As the sauce cools slightly, the fat phase thickens further and clings to the shrimp.Flavor: Milk-derived solids contribute browned, toasted, and slightly nutty notes when exposed to sufficient heat. Those compounds complement the garlic and shellfish flavors.Acidity control: Its richness moderates the sharp perception of lemon juice and wine, making the finished sauce taste rounded rather than aggressively acidic.Heat transfer: The lipid phase coats the shrimp and promotes efficient surface contact with the hot pan, helping develop light browning without the meat immediately drying out.Finishing: Adding it toward the end rather than boiling it aggressively preserves the emulsion and produces the characteristic glossy sauce. Too much heat can separate the emulsion, leaving a greasy layer.
Separately, you heat the wine, lemon juice, shrimp peels in a cheese cloth, and a clam broth, you might get those flavors to *pop* in an acid extraction before you pull the shells out and combine it with the rest.
1 stick of butter
“In fact, the first experiments in refrigeration were not with fish or meat but with everyone’s favorite luxury—butter.”-Mark Kurlansky's Salt: A World History>>22243567DING A LING BABY WE GOT A WINNIN THING!THIS CAT IS THE MAN!
>>22243573What do I win?
>>22243575depressionAND OUR NEXT DISH!!!All the way from the depths of siberia: Pelmeni! (if you're a dickering technical dickhead, vereniki), and of course the greasy question: HOW! MUCH! BUTTER!
>>22243402i heard there is a halloween special edition of How Much Butter coming up. any truth to the rumors?
I don't know what that is but I'll guess that it has 0 butter
(50 count batch)>>22243583If I leak any more information, these goddamn producers are going to pull my asshole out with a corkscrew.But I can tell you on a halloween night, I like to indulge in a little LSD sundae with LSD sprinkles. If I can type, well... lets see how 300 mikes does me.I can give you this coupon for harbor freight, which will scan from the picture.
>>22243516butter doesnt have lactose
>>22243589your host doesn't have any brain cells that aren't high on sweet alabama zim-zam
>>22243588i was just thinking i need a digital coupon for harbor freight. this is the best day of my life!!
Pelmeni, is a world standard, but siberia doesn't know it. The whole entire world has shit in a dough pocket and cooked. Pick a culture, they make some shit just like this.And it's god damned delightful on a fall evening.
Let me kick it to a sponor here my negroes.BLOOD BOWL! THE GAME THAT PITS FANTASY RACES WITH HORSE SHIT MAGIC AND PURE COCK HEADED DOWN LOW MOTHERFUCKIN TRICKS!(LAN blood bowl 2 party and slot car racing is a tradition on halloween for me)
in a perfect world AIjeet threads would get banned on sight and the OPs rangebanned. but this is not a perfect world.
>>222436691- fuck ya mudd...B- I about guarantee 0 jeets have ever heard of a slot car*- you hate fun
>>22243669and I shared a coupon for the most useful thing to most people sold in any hardware store, and bringing people to hardware stores is the living love of Jesus Christ.
HOW MUCH BUTTER!?! now takes it's nightly network break.Tune in at 6am EST where the action resumes with...PELMENI!
This thread reminds me of how people talk and act on coke or speed. I just got a phantom cocaine smell going through this shit thread and I've been clean for years. If I relapse it's your fault, OP.
>>22243402as much as i fucking want, that's how much
IT'S BEEN A FINE MORNIN OVER HERE ON THE BUTTER RANCH!Recycling truck blew a hydraulic line down the road, it's closed. Civilization breakdown. Law and order comes next. These clowns can't even keep the street lights on!But like...I gotta know...You gotta let the golden glow SHOW baby...How much butter is in 50 count serving of PELMENI!!!
uggghhhh I forgot my carefully generated picture chosen to reflect my deep distrust in civil order at this point.Remember, this is at least several pints of nearly toxic hydraulic oil! THINK OF THE PHEASANTS.
>>22243717Smells like cold bleach and sea salt doesn't it.
>>22243739
You missed my guess :(>>22243584
>>22244276I apologise. It's not a trick, it's never zero. I couldn't do that and face puppies and kittens.
>>222441463 sticks of butter
>>22244639Love a LOTTA butter, nudge nudge. Wink, wink. Catch me drift, eh?Good sir, that's multiples of TOO MUCH BUTTER!
