I'm making a replicator run, anybody want anything?
>>22258970Gagh, bitte.
rat on a stick
SphagettiO's and crackers, please!
>>22258979Just kidding I want a plate of seafood nachos.
>>22258970T-rex burger
>>22258983Plus a plate of potato cheese pierogies.
>>22258990And poppyseed cake for dessert.
one raktajino with oat milk please
grandma's beef soup one last time
>>22258998Recipe not on file. Please select something else.
>>22259008
One gallon of Hiptang!™ brand Hiptang!™
One Qo'noS pizza please!
>>22258970Burritos with an s and all the fixins. No rice tho or I'll fucking kill you
>>22258987So a chicken sandwich
>>22258974It won’t be alive and wriggling
That celery gratin I made at my first gf's place where we used coconut cream instead of dairy and added diced chicken breast. Talk about lightning in a bottle. Every subsequent attempt was so disappointing I eventually had to shelve the recipe for the sake of my own sanity.
>>22258970fried catfish with lemon, partner
Bourbon. Neat.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ss_J_4F_nIM
>>22259186jeez he looks rough since the last time I saw him
>>22258970FISH.
500 cigarettes please
>>22258970Just some soy food for me. My future isn't looking that great.
>>22259186This is like a much funnier version of Adam Schwartz.There's always this air of wheedling underhandedness to his sketches.
>>22259232I'll be happy to help! First I need to run a quick hair follicle check.>chin: lush>scalp: negligibleAaand hey, your glasses prescription checks out! Looking good so far.Just a few questions about your sexual history...
fast food circa 2008was it ever as good as i remember it, or was i just young
>>22259255Yes, it was that good.
>>22259229This sparks joy.>>22259191But this sparks more
>>22259255It was the same trash in 1999.
>>22259191Today's fish is Trout a la King. Enjoy your meal.
>>22259710FISH
>>22259183>no tartar sauce>no hushpuppies>no pickled green tomatoesmust be one of those yankee replicators
>90's era Catherine Zeta-Jones
>Tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
>>22258970Troi and crusher flesh lights
>>22258970Long pig
>>22259191A white hole?
>>22259819Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. A black hole sucks time and matter out of the universe; a white hole returns it.
>>22259822So what is it?
>>22259824Ohh, someone punch him out.
>>22259828a white hole?
>>22259839I've never seen one before, no one has, but
Human meat because it wouldnt be unetheical
Early 2000's era Popeyes spicy chicken tenders. Side of curly fries and gravy for dipping.Hot.
A cup of Dr. Crusher's booty sweat
>>22260072Would you be upset if it looked and tasted just like Dr Pepper?
>>22259229Kek
>>22258970hot cheetos and a coke, please and thank you
camomile tea with soya milk and Stevia
>>22260519strange. I ordered it but the replicator just called me a faggot
>>22258970Fuck, I wish replicator technology was real. Then I could fucking never worry about cooking or dealing with people at the supermarket unless I actually wanted to cook something.It's also mean that hunger would never be a problem for people, so kids would never go hungry, which means those greedy fucks running the world get one less way to fuck the average joe in the ass with high grocery prices.I'd eat the finest game meat. Like, Elk tenderloin with mashed potatoes and green beans with a mushroom cream tarragon gravy.Or prime rib with mashed potatoes.Or gyros.
>>22260533Replicator food canonically tastes bad and "unreal"It's purely a functional sort of thing
>>22260534Oh wow thanks for the "truthnuke" most of thought it was NOt a fictional type of thing
oldfag thread
>>22260533>high grocery prices.I'd imagine a real life replicator would cost like 100x times more per gram of food than the real stuff.
>>22258970>Computer, one star ship enterpri-
>>22260533I think lore-wise its prohibitively expensive in their universe. So us plebs wouldn't have one.More pressing questions>What did they make the replicated shit out of?>Are there any morality / safety limitations on what it can replicate?>Can you replicate a human vegine or bobs?>Can you replicate weapons?>Could it replicate a replicator?
>>22259261A couple beefy 5 layers, a Baja blast and Naxx 25 with the crew... better times.
>>22258970Do you think a replicator on the Enterprise would let me have something unhealthy, or that subject to fascist Starfleet regulations?I can't imagine any of the officers having a bacon, egg, and cheese for breakfast.
>>22258970Replicate me some Klingon battlemeth.
>>22260576only bacon is unhealthy among the things you listed
>>22260588Cheese is not healthy.
>>22260589
>>22260553>>What did they make the replicated shit out of?They found a way to turn pure energy from their reactors into almost anything through a replicator.>>Are there any morality / safety limitations on what it can replicate?Yes. All replicators have safety limitations on them. They wont let you make dangerous things like chemicals, extremely hot/cold materials, or just straight up weapons. They also wont make living things. Theres lots of limitations built into them, that need to be disabled by technicians or commanding officers if you want to make things outside the rules.>>Can you replicate a human vegine or bobs?Yes, but it wont let you. You could feed it information for an onahole, and it would make it though.>>Can you replicate weapons?Yes, but it wont let you. If you are in a certain position or proffession, you can replicate them, or replicate parts for them. It wont make the energy source though.>>Could it replicate a replicator?Yes, but it wont let you.
>>22260576>Do you think a replicator on the Enterprise would let me have something unhealthy, or that subject to fascist Starfleet regulations?Most starfleet replicators make "healthy" versions of whatever you ask it for, unless specifically asked for something more "natural" tasting and unhealthy.
hamburger, 3 star michelin quality, masterpiece, one-shot, no mistakes
Mint flavored speghettie
>>22260677Oh no oh no. Food is an AI prompt.
One Sisko's Creole Kitchen Jabalaya>havent jailbroken your replicator for company restricted recipes and dishes.
>>22260667I do appreciate that they were careful to make this wondrous device shitty in a variety of ways. Astute predictions too considering the similarity with already bubble wrapped and guide railed AI.
>>22258970When you need a tasty treat, Crack-O's are the chips to beat. Eat 'em by the bunch or by the pound, new improved Crack-O's won't let you down.
>>22258970Prune juice, a warrior's drink.
>>22258970Sorry, we're out of replicator rations. You will have to eat whatever Neelix is making in the mess hall.
>>22263785I’d rather starve
>>22263785Neexlix was a hero Voyager didn't deserve. Offered the crew wholesome real meals, and nooooooooo. The crew bitched and complained to have their replicated goyslop. I imagine all the neelix haters bitch about their mother's home cooking while praising McDonald's as good food.
>>22258970Cum. Hot
>>22258995since when does raktajino smoke?
>>22260534o rly? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXXWrW6DiJA
>>22263785I remember that one random episode where someone shared a means to basically double their replicator efficiency. To the people on board that didn't like Nellix's cooking it must have been the best day of the whole seven year journey.
>>22258970Crottled greeps
>>22260553>What did they make the replicated shit out of?Older canon they're energy to matter converters, current canon they're molecular assemblers.>Are there any morality / safety limitations on what it can replicate?Depends on how it's programmed.>Can you replicate a human vegine or bobs?Replicating body parts is a plot point in the TNG episode Ethics, albeit a spine rather than bobs and vegine.>Can you replicate weapons?Yes, industrial replicators exist specifically for manufacturing.>Could it replicate a replicator?See above.
>>22258970>chicago hot beef sandwich>32 oz of Blue Moon beer (with orange juice)>hooderite strawberry rhubarb pie>red wine (1964 italian vintage)>coffe-flavored tobacco and a replica of an 18th century smoking pipe
>>22260533Lol, hunger is not a "make food" problem, it's a "you are in a war torn area" problem, you were awarded the "fell for it again" award for installing communism and starving, or it's a "you are too poor/stupid" problem. Replicators are just next level "lab grown meat" type of bullshit. Meaning its going to be energy hungry. Great for a nuclear powered exploration ship, not so much for the mass populace. And especially ideal for long range exploration where recycling water and organic material is critical. >>22260534The actual form of that tech is guaranteed to have both texture problems and taste problems. Because why replicate all the bazillions of flavor compounds and aromatics when you can slap protein carbs and fat together and call it food. Especially on a space ship. And texture problems are definitely coming from print size, that is just how that works. Everything a replicator sharts out is gonna be a facsimile of the real thing. Looks like it, but will taste and feel like the cheap knockoff that it is. Pretty much like TV dinners IN SPACE! Ironically shit like vodka and anything chemically simple will be identical because the machine can excel at simple replication.
>>22260576IIRC on Voyager one episode has Torres order ice cream and disables a "safety protocol" so she can have the good stuff.
>>22260576there's plenty of episodes where people order booze through the replicator. if alcohol is allowed, i don't see why i can't have a Pat's Cheesesteak wit wiz AND provo
>>22264361Troi said the same on TNG about getting a real chocolate cake from the replicator. So I assume it means normally you get the low cal version. That said it makes little sense. By the 24th century they had to perfect artificial sweeteners. You would think it wouldn't matter and ice cream or cakes would taste the same low cal and normal calorie versions.
>>22264414surely by the 24th century, they'd realize that the food pyramid was pure propaganda, and fresh food made with REAL (non-cornslop, non GMO) ingredients are always healthy as long as you couple them with an active lifestyle. give me my fucking cake, computer. and a cigarette to go with it.
>>22264416>smoking and shitty food is fine it's all propaganda why are Americans so fucking retarded?
>>22264697Jewish "education" (brainwashing)Rockefeller and Ford wanted a nation of workers
>>22264414The federation has a tiny combat ration bar that is a slow release of 3 days worth of nutrients.
>>22264366Isn't That sythacol though?
>>22259255You were young, its always been fuckin crap since the 1990s.
>>22264697>If you smoke 1 cigarette or eat 1 donut you will dieWhy do you have to be a puritan idiot who cant understand nuances? Anon said active lifestyle, not eat junk and smoke all the cigs while sitting around. >>22264704Yeah we dont take 3 siestas a day like Euros do
>>22258970>Cammander Warf, we need to talk.>you've been to the replicator 4 times today to get a bottle of Klingon tequila.
>>22264717That was just Bashir shooting his mouth off.
>>22260553>I think lore-wise its prohibitively expensive in their universe. So us plebs wouldn't have one.In ST Picard one of the characters (who admittedly is a smart scientist not a bottom feeding pleb) has an apartment in Boston, she has a replicator, although apparently it's menu isn't great.
>>22265631No, the one I'm talking about it was Miles talking about. Bashir's was a different thing.
>>22258987One six-foot turkey sandwich, coming up
>>22264224>Replicating body parts is a plot point in the TNG episode Ethics, albeit a spine rather than bobs and vegine.TNG federation is always hobbling themselves with absurd regulations that no other state follows. The Romulans sure don't.
>>22258970>Hey replicator.>There was this Chinese place that made the best fucking chicken wings I ever had.>They closed like 20 years ago and nothing else has ever came close.>Please make those
>>22265819
>>22264819Not always.
>>22265829Recipe not on file. Please select something else.
>>22265878>fat retard is unaware of other people's eating habits>doesn't bother eating before going to the party>doesn't realize the error in eating 36 inches of a sandwich
>>22260667Make all the organs and body parts that would compose a catgirl (for research)Make a machine that can sew her together and revive her
>>22258970Lemme get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
>>22264843Cigarettes are one of the very few things where we KNOW that they are unhealthy at any amount.Which really is obvious, you plaster your lung with tar containing all kinds of products from burning leaves of a poisonous plant. There is nothing physiologically positive about that.Man is just lucky that the lung has INCREDIBLE self healing and repairing capabilities. That's also why quitting is good at any point. You can be a 20 years chain smoker, a few years after quitting the lung is nearly back at the level of a life non-smoker.
Something fries crunchy on the inside.Wagyu beef on the outside.Medium rare. Perfectly seared.Small channels of bernaise sauce passing through the entire thing. Sweet potato and delica pumpkin wedges served on a hot iron plate.Hummus and leafy salad on the side.A bottle of red Amarone wine to go with it.
>>22264250That's not funny, Professor X and Poop Emoji is dead for real now.
Eart grey hot RIP
I'm gonna have an earl grey this morning out of respeck
timely thread
Breast millk
>>22259842a white hole?
the man himself
>>22265794>apparently it's menu isn't greathow do they know what a menu is?
>>22267164Why wouldn't they know what a menu is? They still have normal restaurants and normal food.
>>22265878This post still haunts me.
>>22258970>star trek thread on /ck/>patrick stewart dies
Tea. Earl Gray. Hot.
>>22264414>That said it makes little sense. By the 24th century they had to perfect artificial sweeteners. You would think it wouldn't matter and ice cream or cakes would taste the same low cal and normal calorie versions.Nah. Its an ongoing "thing" in Trek where people always complain about replicated food and drinks tasting a bit off and not quite right. You can request it to give you a "real" piece of chocolate cake instead of the healthy lowcalorie version it gives out automatically, but it still wont taste like a cake prepared for real and baked in an oven. Apparently requesting the individual ingredients, and then actually cooking them gives a better result, but still not as good as real ingredients.
>>22258970A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL
>>22258970Broiled Bajor Burgina.
>>22267296>Apparently requesting the individual ingredients, and then actually cooking them gives a better result, but still not as good as real ingredients.Can't remember if Riker said it or the trekkies. But the idea is that the replicator makes the food exactly the same all the time. But real cooking there is variety. Maybe the steak will have a little more sear this time or the onions will be a little under caramelized. The computer will always make the pasta al dente. So by cooking replicated ingredients you get the extra variation from home cooking.
>>22264819plenty of episodes where they order true alcohol or booze from other races (klingon booze is replicated quite often). even still, synthahol is still booze. it's just supposedly "cleaner". your hangover would be nonexistent. i doubt it would affect flavor all that much
>>22268289>they order true alcohol or booze from other races (klingon booze is replicated quite often)And everyone from those races complains about it not tasting good. But that could just be them being uppity assholes, OR it could be that its replicating it perfectly, but the batch of booze its replicating tasted kinda crappy to begin with, so its just reproducing that same crappy booze.>synthahol is still booze. it's just supposedly "cleaner"The alcoholic effects are supposed to wear off so fast you can leave the bar for work and within minutes its out of your system and you feel normal. Not sure how that works. Everyone shits on Synthahol though. Even starfleet people make fun of it, and keep a bottle of saurian brandy in their quarters.
>>22264819For a freaking replicator that can create whole meals a simple molecule like ethanol should be like the easiest thing in the world.Sth like vodka should be super easy to create and 100% pure.
>>22268438>100% purePurity and perfection is what makes replicator food taste like shit.
>>22265819I'll cut your guts out, kid
>>22267198well people seem to think orcs wouldn't know what a menu is despite the fact they have normal restaurants too
So does that mean everyone in Star Trek is a cooklet? Like couldn't even figure out how to microwave tendies?
>>22268418>The alcoholic effects are supposed to wear off so fast you can leave the bar for work and within minutes its out of your system and you feel normal. Not sure how that works. Everyone shits on Synthahol though. Even starfleet people make fun of it, and keep a bottle of saurian brandy in their quarters.They should develop a force field that when you walk through it, it eliminates all the alcohol in your body.
>>22269750Not everyone. Sisko is a trained chef. Pike cooking is a central character trait of his in SNW.
>>22269823>SNWPlease stop, I don't come to /ck/ to lose my appetite.
>>22269751This kills the human.
>>22259261
>>22258970Deanna Troi's pissiykyk
Computer, French Onion Soup, please!
>>22264250Funny, but it could never get hotter than 212F.
>>22265827>the Romulan Star Empire goonmaxxed so hard their sun exploded
>>22264250
>>22260556>>22264250
>>22258970If I can truly ask for anything, I would like to ask for sushi served off the scapula of a very tall, broad, and muscular man. However, if the man is brazilian, then I would also ask for him to have grown up in mainland portugal, so as to not have a brazilian accent. I have nothing against brazilian portuguese; I simply dislike the accent. Sorry, just my personal preference. Likewise, if he is american I would prefer that he not be from southern US states nor canada - I just can't imagine my "table" flirting with me with a drawl or that sterile accent canadians have. A chinese man should be from the southwest, a japanese man from anywhere but hokkaidō, a spanish man must not be from the canary islands, an italian not from sicily, etc, etc. Basically no funny accents unless they're from the united kingdom, in which case most of them are attractive to me (except maybe wales). Funnily enough the rest of his physical attributes don't matter much. I'd obviously rather he have a normal sized penis, a nice face, etc, but I think I could live a very good life eating off a scottish man's back as long as he were tall and broad and muscular even if he had a small penis, for example. If medicine that's taken orally also technically counts as food, I would request that the replicator generate the medicine inside of a man's hand (acting as the bottle). The pill bottle man should follow the same guidelines as for the table man, although I would additionally request that he have hairy forearms and big/muscular hands. And most importantly, he absolutely must not moralise or chastise me when I choose to forego my medication, although he should strive to remind me (especially about taking my emtricitabine + tenofovir disoproxil).
>>22258970Bynar Foie Gras
>McD's>2 double qt pounders, only cheese>40 nuggets with ranch>24 chicken strips, more ranch>BK>2 lb fries>2 Bacon Kings>Wendy'S>Two Classic Triples, only cheese>Large Frosty>Five Guys>2 gallons of Vanilla Coke at the fancy flavor-shot dispenser, everything else is overpriced meh>eh I'll get a pound of ketchup, theirs is good
>>22269751Just have O'brien transport you between decks, ask to have him remove the alcohol from your body in the process.
>>22263845Which species?
>>22264153Now we're talking.
>>22264704ford wasnt a jew, youre thinking of doge
>>22271533You are an interesting writer. Keep at it. Faggot.
>>22269750>>22269823And Keiko is horrified yet fascinated when O'Brien describes his grandmother cooking actual meat >You mean she touched it?? Ewww
>>22269750
