I am making a massive spread for the family Christmas.I just need to add crackers for the charcuterie spread. I always fuck up crackers and they take forever. What's the best recipe to follow assuming I will make them a few days in advance ?
dude just get a premade spread from Costco
>>22275261Classic /ck/ post.
>>22275261Will be a million times better than what OP makes. He can't even make basic shit like crackers and has no business trying to cook anything.
>>22275451Just imagine how much this guys family hates him having to pretend this moron made something edible
>>22275252An option for fresh crackers is to buy uncooked flour tortillas and bake or pan cook them with oil. I’ve only made crackers once and was unimpressed (could be a skill issue).Also why is there Shrek sperm in the lower left corner?
>>22275451One baking sheet makes all of 30 small crackers. Making enough for 16 people takes a whole afternoon. That along with Jams, meats , and cheeses.Plus if crackers don't come out just so you have to start back over. So that might be my issue, I'm doing them wrong. If you have a recipe I am willing to take it. I always end up with an imperfect product... I can't bake.
>>22275509Imagine having a family... They are happier without you.
>>22275525Shrek sperm actually.Yeah I have made them but they never come out both snappy and without being crumbly. >>22275543I am thinking less butter cracker and more traditional. I think I might just bake tortillas. My none baking ass can't hit the sweet spot constantly enough to make a large batch.
>>22275734Dope might do.
>>22275252Sorry to tell you, that's all gonna be spoiled by December.
>>22275261Exactly this isn't /diy/
>>22275877First off it's a ln image.
>>22275261How bout I spread ur mom at Costco
>>22275877You don't know how charcuterie works do you anon?
>>22276998Its /ck/ no one here cooks.
>>22277031I know how food poisoning works.
>>22277658total shitbull death
>>22277658Its literally food preservation anon.
>>22277868https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71Wv9wUbpEk
>>22278216You at least have to do it right.Can you do it right?
Jams, sausage, cheeses, and bread. This should be enough for a family dinner.
>>22275252make flatbread like the Lebanesey style, then bake in oven till crispy and and break it up into "crackers" in irregular shapes, good for dips and they taste good, look good
>>22279811Outstanding. Thank you.
>>22279811Little did I know it was just more water that would make this all work. Saved my life anon.
I ate a whole box of triscuits yesterday.
>>22280486Box?Anyways good for you.
>>22280976Well lol not the actual box, but holy crap the whole shebang.So salty.
>>22280984Glad you enjoyed.
>>22275252>I always fuck up crackers and they take forever.you stupid asshole
>>22281531Pics of yours from today.Anyways I got that flat bread thing dialed in.
